Dee Sanderson

*Lately it seems all I can think about is getting away to someplace exotic.  Wanderlust has taken over my mind and it’s all I can do to get any actual work done.  

(For those other easy listening fans out there Christopher Cross has been playing in my head on a loop for some time now.  Oh, that’s just me?  Never mind then.)

I spend my days at work pricing resorts and airline tickets instead of concentrating on the tasks I’m being paid to complete.  It’s terrible.  

In my last article I talked about planning a short get away with your significant other or by yourself if you’re single.  But I’m really feeling the need for something more than that.  I need to get out of the country and do something wonderful.

It used to be that I took a vacation out of the country every year.  Well, at least back in my single days.  Whenever I get into a relationship, things on the travel front always seem to slow down a bit.

Just about every January, my girls and I used to start talking about what country we should hit in the spring or summer.  (Usually an island with beautiful beaches and even more beautiful men.)  Once we decided on a destination if we had the money we booked it right then.

If one of us was light on cash either the others would cover them until they had it or we’d start putting money away until we could all afford to go.  But no matter what, come hell or high water, we’d find our way to a great vacation.  Makes me wonder why is it so much more difficult to plan extended trips with your significant other than it is with your girls?  Hmmm.

Actually, planning vacations with my ex used to be a big source of stress.  Instead of a fun activity that builds excitement until the day of the excursion we’d argue about everything from where we were going to when and for how long, to what hotel we would stay in.   Admittedly, when it comes to planning a trip I tend to lean more toward first class and five stars.  (I’m trying to wean myself off flying first class and put more money in savings but it’s so damn hard!)  The way I see it, I work hard for my money, so when I travel I deserve nothing but the best.  And if it costs a little more to get a room with a view or a Jacuzzi then I’m willing to pay that.  My ex looked at things in almost the exact opposite way.  Let’s say we were going to Vegas.  He’d be looking at me like I had two heads as I priced suites at The Bellagio while he pointed out that we could just as easily stay at the Holiday Inn and stop by The Bellagio for dinner one night.  Then I’d be looking at him like he had four heads instead of my two.

It was such a difference from planning with friends.  We’d spend all our time trying to find out the best way to get a five-star hotel at a four-star price.  If one of us even muttered the words Holiday Inn they’d be excommunicated.  For a while I wondered if maybe my ex was just cheap (I mean, are you really trying to scrimp on our honeymoon?) but I’ve run into this situation post marriage with other men and so now I’m thinking that maybe women are just more accustomed to the idea of spoiling themselves while many men are looking at ways to get the best value for their dollar, which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing.  Now to be fair, once my ex and I actually arrived at our fabulous hotel (after stretching out in our lovely first class seats,) he always admitted he was glad he “agreed” to let me plan “this time.”  But somehow the next time around he’d still be arguing with me about some bargain basement hotel while I wondered how he could possibly have forgotten the ten-thousand thread count sheets we’d luxuriated in the last time we took a trip.

So here I am again now, loving my new man with thoughts of distant lands occupying my mind and I find myself actually afraid to sit down with him and plan a vacation.  I mean I haven’t left the country in almost 5 years now (except for the Bahamas 2 years ago but it’s so close and I’ve been there so many times that it really doesn’t count anymore.)  And I’m way overdue.  I started making noise about taking a “girls” trip this summer just because I figured it would be easier.  (I found this amazing resort in Cabo where every room comes with its own dipping pool!)  But that didn’t really make me happy because what I really want is to roll around in those ten-thousand thread count sheets with all of his chocolate fineness.

But… relationships are about compromise and doing things together, not just when it’s easy or convenient for you.  So I guess I’m going to have to shove those old fears down (I mean, this is a totally different man after all) and sit down in front of the laptop with my honey and start planning our fabulous get away.  Cabo here we come!!  Or maybe Costa Rica?  Decisions, decisions…

About Dee Sanderson
Dee Sanderson is a relationship expert and author of How To Marry A Loser Without Even Trying”.   For more tips and information visit www.marryaloser.com and follow her on twitter @marryaloser.