*Does the Trojan corporation get a phone call from President Obama if it gives Tiger Woods “a second chance” with an exclusive multimillion-dollar condom endorsement deal? Would Trojan then be about the business of changing the perception of/leveling the playing field for philandering professional athletes? Imagine the campaign slogan…

“Unleash the Tiger in your pants! Got Wood?”

Mo’Kelly is just spitballing here…

Does President Obama call (x) team if/when former NFL receiver Rae Carruth gets out of jail for conspiring to kill his girlfriend and unborn child and is hired as a stadium peanut vendor in 2018 (his expected release date)?

Did the NBA’s Washington Wizards earn a smiley face magnet for the staff refrigerator in allowing Gilbert Arenas back into the locker room after bringing his cache of guns to work? Because we all know that the Washington Wizards (formerly the Washington Bullets) are all about “leveling the playing field” for idiots and the guns they bring to the workplace.

OSHA would be proud to be sure.

Or not…

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