*Some say they can tell who you are by the car you drive, the house you live in, the clothes you wear and the places you frequent.

I believe that I can tell who you are by how you treat the server who accidentally spills water or how you give to those in need, by the way you greet the cab driver or by your response (in public) to your significant other when they annoy you.

I can tell by how well you listen when someone is speaking, respect other’s time, compromise when when you could bully your way and tell the truth when you could have lied.

The scent of a solid character has gotten so weak that we’ve lost it. We’ve replaced good character with show and tell. If I wear the right clothes, you’ll believe I have style. If I tell you how much I pray and that I go to church, you’ll believe I’m a good person. If I have a lot of “friends”, you’ll think I’m well liked. Since these material and superficial things are usually the first thing people see, they often assign values to them without further evidence.

Hollywood’s finest often get defined by all of the many trappings that surround them. After receiving these messages for so long, I believe that they actually forget who they are. It becomes harder and harder for them to answer “Who am I?”. At some point, they just aren’t sure.

Who are you? Are you the person who switches sides depending on who’s winning? Do you lie on others to protect yourself? Do you keep your word even when it’s inconvenient for you? Are you just as interested in the person you just met at an event for whom you have no information on, as you are the President of Sony Music who just walked in the room?

Do you reach out to people in your life who you know are hurting or go on with business as usual? Is your level of engagement with people dependent upon what you believe they can do for you?

I don’t believe that I can see the indicators of who you are. I can only observe them in how one behaves. Having experienced a variety of both wonderful and challenging circumstances in my life, I am learning to further understand who I am. What I’m not is my hair, my car, my acquaintances or my job, but rather I am my behavior, my choices, my interactions and the experience that I leave behind. I know who I am. Who are you? Take a look.

Monica Cost is communications strategist, brand manager and respected corporate and motivational speaker. She is the President and Founder of Evidently Assured, a brand & talent management firm.  Email her at:  [email protected]. Follow her via Twitter: @monicacost and Facebook.com/monicahairstoncost.