Monica Cost

*I am a firm believer that everyone’s behavior comes from a certain need within. A friend who dates people who are not good for them may have insecurities about being wanted, so they will take who will take them.  Someone who always has a better story to tell than you just did, may have a need to be the best no matter what. A woman who wears clothing that doesn’t fit may feel that this is the best way to get attention. People who interrupt may need to know that they have a point to make also.

There are also people who downplay their successes who may not want to stand out from the crowd. Women who cut their hair, so as not to only be known for the glamour. Men who brag about their material possessions may be covering up other areas where don’t feel sufficient. The list goes on. Our thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions. How we behave and what we say is a direct reflection, in most cases, of how we’re feeling and what we’re thinking.

This is why it is so important to tell yourself the truth. Once you know the truth, you can process it or if possible, change it. Many celebrities are faced with their truths everyday; however, many do not feel like they can address them or even acknowledge them at times for fear that the public will not support them further; or that they will not meet expectations.

Last night while watching the Mo’Nique show, I saw Tia Mowry, from the cast of The Game, pulling and tugging at her dress as she sat in the chair. This is not a personal knock on Tia. I don’t know her personally and have not heard anything negative. However, I couldn’t help but wonder why she would wear such a dress that needed to be adjusted regularly. “Why do you do what you do?” In the entertainment industry, people come to expect a certain look, behavior and presentation of a lifestyle from celebrities. Add on top of that, their personal insecurities that they’re working through and they end up “Living in the Land of Make Believe”. The truth was that she was uncomfortable with the length of the dress. There are a few reasons why she may have felt compelled to wear it, ranging from a stylist pick to simply liking the dress in the mirror. She may have noticed her truth of feeling uncomfortable when pulling a tugging in the mirror, but ignored it believing it would present as sexy and/or sophisticated. It would have, except that pulling, tugging and adjusting presents and uncomfortable and many times insecure about the fit of the clothing.

This is one example of many. Understanding the genesis of our thoughts will determine how we feel and ultimately what we do. Having a true understanding of this will keep us congruent and “Living in the Land of Authenticity and Truth”.

Monica Cost is communications strategist, brand manager and respected corporate and motivational speaker. She is the President and Founder of Evidently Assured, a brand & talent management firm.  Email her at:  [email protected].  Follow her via Twitter: @monicacost and www.Facebook.com/monicahairstoncost.