*Writer Allison Samuels has waded into the murky waters of Steve Harvey’s love life with a new column questioning his self-appointed role as “relationship expert.”
Here’s an excerpt from her Feb. 16 post, titled “Steve Harvey’s Bad Romance”:
Annie Martin is still too peeved to rationally discuss comic Steve Harvey. Like many African American women, Martin had thought of Harvey as the ultimate relationship expert—until she saw his ex-wife’s YouTube rant last month, accusing him of being a two-timer and worse. For more than 10 years, Martin, a 43-year-old nurse’s assistant from Baltimore, had faithfully supported her favorite entertainer—listening to his nationally syndicated radio show, watching his stint on “Family Feud,” tuning in whenever he appeared on TBN religious network. Martin always believed the comedian was just a “down home brother” with enough common sense and old-school wisdom to share with the masses. And when the 54-year old radio host decided to pen his own book in 2009, detailing his insights into the black male psyche and relationships, she ran to the bookstore. “I just knew he’d be able to tell me what I needed to do to find a black man. No one else was stepping up to try,” Martin says.
Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady; Think Like a Man” had 50 printings, sold 2 million copies and appeared on the New York Times Best Sellers lists for months, and he followed up last year with a second book, “Straight No Chaser; How to Find, Keep and Understand A Man.” Harvey basked in his own spotlight, posing for covers of Essence magazine with his wife Majorie and gracing the couches of Oprah, Jay Leno and other shows, touting his winning advice for couples. Winfrey was so impressed with Harvey’s straightforward, pragmatic approach to love and relationships that she reportedly considered giving him a show about relationships on her new network, OWN.
But the show never materialized, and now it looks like Winfrey may have dodged a bullet. Before she could finalize plans for the Harvey show, the daytime queen received some troubling news from the former Mrs. Steve Harvey—who then went on to share her complaintswith the world via her YouTube video.
Simply put, Mary Harvey thinks her husband is the last man in the world who should be a relationship guru.
Among her accusations are that Harvey was unfaithful (more than 15 times, she claims), that he was allegedly abusive, and the ultimate betrayal—that he left her and married his mistress. She also accused him of turning their son against her and leaving her penniless. While Winfrey won’t make an official comment on the ex-couple, sources close to the talk show host say she’s relieved she pulled the show off the table and hopes not to be a central focus of the Harveys’ lawsuits against one another. Both Steve and Mary Harvey are under a court gag order and declined to comment for this story.
The shocking claims still have many African Americans—particularly those convinced Harvey’s relationship advice was gospel—battling feelings of betrayal and asking, just who is Steve Harvey, really? Had they actually been duped by the charming, funny man with a penchant for expensive three piece suits and hair pieces? “A friend sent me the YouTube video and my heart sank,” says Martin, the Baltimore nurse’s assistant. “I know it sounds silly, but I thought of him like a true friend. Not to be a perfect man, but to be honest about his own circumstances before instructing me how to deal with mine. I’m not even saying what his ex-wife said is all true—but clearly something was very wrong.”
Click here to continue reading on The Daily Beast.
A lot of women look @ him as a guru. Even before his latest publicity with his ex, I don’t know how anyone could take his ‘advice’ for anything other than entertainment, knowing his history.
Stop following man and follow God. She sounds like a zombie..
IN my zombie voice “uhhhh Steve Harvey is master, he knows all, he is not perfect that’s why he cries on tv to get your mone I mean sympathy… UHHHHHHH”
Right…and Karrine Supahead was featured on Oprah giving advice to young girls.
so of course this dumb women would ask that question.
Can a hmo psychiatrist counsel a hetero married couple?
Can a divorced mom with 3 kids counsel someone else on how to make a marriage work?
Should a preacher who cheated on his wife continue to spread the word? Or is he too tainted to do god’s work?
Yeah and Oprah thinks she’s God anyway.
Silly women sometimes fall for anything. That is why male leaders should lead and not try to rape and pillage and deceive.
Valid points bruh.
Women value opionions, trying to be crafty. Chris Rock Gave you the blueprint, f*uck us, feed us and shut up, meaning talk shit at your own expense. Times have change, women are paying for love, with their time and judgment. A man or woman can dress up a package of themself. Ask questions, it’s not what you really think.
Grace…where you at??? No Steve Harvey post is fun unless you chime in…LOL
I was about to go to bed when I came here and saw this.
WHEN did black women become so insecure that they need to take advice from A MAN on how to get and keep a man, especially a man who has been married three times? (By the way, that is something I have in common with Horsemouth Harvey. I too have been married three times, most recently in September 2010.) Having said that, I would not PRESUME to give advice to ANYone, except perhaps my teenage daughter, on relationships and marriage. If I was self-absorbed enough to write a book, it would illustrate the mistakes and foolish choices I have made in my own life and relationships, not dictate to others how to run their shows.
Like Annie Martin, I was once smitten with Steve Harvey. I would tune in to “Showtime at the Apollo,” just so I could watch HIM. When he moved to radio, I felt that WBLS in New York should consider itself lucky to have him. I would set my alarm clock radio so that I woke up to his voice EVERY morning.
…and then I met him in person. My experience is well-documented here at EUR, so I will not repeat it.
Unlike Annie Martin, I met him before he became an “author.” I never read either one of his books, and my current marriage took place years after my encounter with Steve Harvey. I can only wonder, if that encounter had never taken place, whether I would still be blindly supporting him up until the campaign of Mary Shackelford Harvey.
O.K. life is right again now that we have your input…LOL…You know it must be very disappointing to admire someone and then when you meet them personally they’re not what you had hoped for (but I’ll never understand why people can’t put on a temporary facade for their fans, since it’s the fans who make their bread and butter for them). I know several people I
like(d) that I “heard” were not nice people i.e. Brian McKnight, Val Kilmer (fell in love with him after Tombstone) and several others. So now I admire from afar so when/if I hear unflattering things about those I admire I won’t be disappointed…On a lighter note…Congratulations Grace on your recent nupitals…three times a charm:)
A woman satisfied will not share. We tend to judge others in clothing, instead of truth, what lies ahead, more of the same lame excuses like where are all the good men and women at? Jesus even ask why do you call me good * Matthew 19:17.
even though I have a different opinion of him, I still listen to his show, because he’s so ignorant sounding. That said, and his advice or summations, I agree with and just about any other divorced person, because, they were part of the fuck-up. People who “follow” his advice as gospel, must live in a hole, he knows these women are stupid, because he married ones just like the callers. I think Shirley is the stupidest co-host her response sounds like bben a hole as well.
I’m no fan, but like it or not a lot of what he says is on point. I’ve said it once and I’ve say it again, women, if you want to know how to keep a man happy in a longterm relationship, talk to the man who has been faithfully married to his highschool sweetheart for 30 yrs, but if you want to learn about the games that players play, talk to a Player. If you want to know how to get a player to stop playing, talk to a reformed Player. That’s basically is what Steve’s does and it he does it well because he himself is a player.
“Not to be a perfect man, but to be honest about his own circumstances before instructing me how to deal with mine. I’m not even saying what his ex-wife said is all true—but clearly something was very wrong.”
How wrong? Was it as bad as his ex wife claimed, that he cheated on her more than 15 times?
Maybe. Maybe not. But there is enough evidence for even his most fanatical supporter to conclude that we are dealing with a serial cheater.
We know that he was seeing his present wife for months, if not years, before getting a divorce. We also know of his desperate attempts to stop the publishing of the book by Terry Smith on her relationship with him while he was married, “Men will Lie When the Truth Will Do – The King, his Queen & his other women.”
So should this serial cheater be giving “relationship” advice to women?
It’s really her prerogative, but at least she should know the history of the professed relationship guru before taking his advice.
Y’all got to read the article on the Daily Beast. Steve got dogged out big time:
“I loved his book. I bought it for all my sisters because it was really on point. But had I known how bad his relationships turned out over the years, I would have saved my money and just spoke to brothers at the barbershop. At least I know their issues.” Williams says she had no idea Harvey was now on his third marriage. “That should have been a sign for me,” she adds.
But while some black women balk at the comic’s public soap opera, a lot of black men are saying, “told ya so.” Many gladly admit they always suspected Harvey was skillfully milking the subject of relationship success for big publicity and even bigger bucks. “My girlfriend read his first book and treated it like a bible. She was always telling me something he said in it. I would asked her what makes Steve Harvey an expert?” says Kadeem Warren, 32, of Los Angeles. “I mean, did he go to school for it? Did he go to seminary school or something? Have his relationships been that great? Why would I or anyone else listen to him?”
Simpson says she and several of her friends have now thrown away Harvey’s books and stopped listening to his radio show each morning via the Internet. “At this rate, Lil Wayne can write a book about relationships.” (Lil Wayne is notorious for having gotten two women pregnant in 2009).
Harvey and his ex now have a court date in March to determine whether or not she violated their previous divorce gag order by appearing on YouTube and in other media outlets. But while a court date for the former couple may help resolve some of their issues, it will do little to answer the real question many African American women have been asking themselves for a few weeks now—namely, is the joke really on them?
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-02-16/steve-harveys-bad-romance/2/
Despite his shortcomings which everyone has, he had some good points here and there but I was never all into him buying books and going to his seminars, etc. Some people look at others to get validation which is a big problem in society.