*There is no doubt that I am a black woman, I am probably what is considered to be a real black woman, kinky haired, so called now described type 4 with no real curl pattern with which to classify it as good hair.I am hearing this term again and again, not just from whites but from predominantly black men and I wonder what in the hell is happening. I myself have been in the past deemed a bitter, dark, angry, jealous, ugly, sister who has tried to bring a black man down. (My war with the Great Will Smith has been well documented).
Are we angrier than white women, well let’s examine this more closely shall we? I remember growing up as a little girl, I hated dolls, not that I really did, it was just that they did not look like me, for at that time there were no black baby dolls like there is now for my mother to purchase. That made me sad as a little girl; it did not make me angry. I do remember someone giving me a Barbie doll, but she quickly went to the bottom of my closet.
For all those years of growing up, only the lighter skinned black women were considered beautiful, and the sad thing is that still today those standards of beauty are still in effect. I think a better description would be the politics of beauty. I am making the references of physical beauty to make a better point in pursuit of the angry black woman theory. We don’t say the angry light-skinned woman do we? That in itself is enough to piss me off, so am I angry yet … not quite.
I remember being in my 20’s I dabbled in modeling, and I was chosen to do the cover of Essence magazine, I had natural hair way back then as I do now. Thinking I was chosen for my ebony beauty, they proceeded to cut all my hair off, straighten it, and never used the cover. I was outraged and hell yes I was angry, because I thought this is a so called magazine for black women, yet even today that same magazine really supports the western image, which is now become the blond black woman. Does this make me angry…yes.
Little girls who stand eye level in the supermarket waiting for their mommies to check out need to see images of themselves, funny all that I see are rap magazines with angry looking black rappers who are supposed to be successful, so why the angry Black man look? Oh yes, it means you have street credibility…oh please!
Yes even my own son thinks it is true, which saddens me greatly. “Why,” I asked him? His answer was this.
How many times do you walk into a store and if there is a black woman behind the register she has attitude and acts like she is doing you a favor by being there. I didn’t have to think about it, it is true, as much as we don’t want to admit it my people. I myself had to tell another sister in Penn Station, that I could indeed shake my neck better than she could, so just give me the damn information I requested. I felt very sad indeed, that perhaps we need to take a look at ourselves. I too have been guilty of jumping all over someone who made a simple mistake. Was it because I am an angry black woman?
We expect to be treated with less dignity, because we are black women. We can’t today find things to even decorate our children’s rooms with images of themselves unless they are gangsters and so on. We still have companies like Dove making stupid mistakes like putting the only black girl on the bad side of skin color. I don’t see myself on TV unless I watch a re-run of myself. No, Ne Ne Leakes in not a role model, for me nor are most of the black women I see on the tube, I simply cannot relate. Does this make me angry? Hell to the yes, it does. Shame on you BET, and TV One for not doing what you know you should do.
Perhaps black men need to remember, that our great great grandmothers were on the same slave ships, we were not in the penthouse section of the boat, but right there with them in chains. We historically have had to raise many of our children alone, without father figures, and that makes us angry. My son was included in that statistic until I re-married.
Granted there are many black fathers who are and were there including my own. Our anger is historical, but mostly I think we are simply tired women. I know I am exhausted with the weight of everyday life, and sometimes I just look damned angry.
We have not had the same advantages or opportunities as our white sisters, and frankly we need to stop looking at them for the justice we seek and create our own opportunities with our own curl patterns.
It also seems that the media reinforces this stereotype to the hilt, with negative images, of the Sassy angry sister, talk show host, reality TV personalities, basketball wives, and old antebellum movies. Does Hollywood only still see us in this light, or are these the images that they believe we want to represent us. Black men must stop telling us what we are and aren’t.
I admit to my anger at the Chris Rocks of the world and others like him for making mockeries of us in terrible movies like GOOD HAIR. The HELP was of no help to me, and I think that with all the wonderful black actresses out there we can play big momma’s ourselves.
So in defense of black women, I apologize for my anger if you should meet me on a bad day. You would be amazed at what a simple smile would do for the angriest of any women.
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*sigh*
Damn this bytch still hanging onto old azz shyt. Sad!
You must be a brother, cause all you know is the word bitch, is your momma a bitch as well. This is not old, but your attitude certainly is. Learn to spell brotha or sadly if you are a sista. I heard the best definition of the word bitch
b being
i in
t total
c control
h of herself
I used to say to people like this “Who you mad at?” Today I know to ask “Who hurt you?” This is beyond anger. Imagine getting to be this age having that kind of deep seeded hurt that manifests itself by spewing the classic “angry black woman” nonsence. Will Smith if you read this, it’s proof positive she was damaged goods long before you and her crossed paths. Dang, she’s making us sistas look real bad. I’m a black woman, with the same natural hair she has, living life happily, humbly, not HURT and ANGRY, And she wonders why she’s not working? That spirit is a “contagion” I would not want to be around her.
How do you know she ain’t working, last time I looked I read more about her than about you. Who are you anyway, Jada?
The truth hurts, are you a black dreadlocked blond or what?
How do you sound? In one post you get on a person for attacjing this woman and then you turn around and do the same for no reason……..DAMN!!!
Ditto
I won’t comment on the essence, if you will, of this article since there are already comments posted that express my sentiment. I will say “Amen” to the comment that “The Help” was of no help to me. While it was well made, I did not buy into what a cultural healing it was supposed to be. I applaud the great actresses, both black and white, that help make it. But it was only a snapshot of an ugly part of our history that unfortunately is still in effect now.
I WILL NOT ( i am boycotting) the movie……..”THE Help”…………….my rememberances of janet hubert are not favorable….she doesn’t represent my EBONY Skin…………..this is NONSENSE……….
We expect to be treated with less dignity, because we are black women. We can’t today find things to even decorate our children’s rooms with images of themselves unless they are gangsters and so on. …………………………IGNORANCE……..
Exactly!
Treat me with less dignity and see what happens. Go ahead, I dare you! I haven’t stomped the sh*t outta someone in a minute. I will go there,
ha!!! great post!!!
If you had such a problem working with a rapper, you never should have taken the damn role in the first place.
Second, I am tired of other sistas and their “problems” with those of us who are light. “Angry light skinned woman…?” B*tch, I”M BLACK! Dark skinned sistas always try to act as if we are separate and apart from the rest of the race. You all do that, not us! I go through the same sh*t you all do on a daily basis with YT. I have to work twice as hard as they do, just like you do and that’s only to maintain. Forget about getting ahead. That’s more luck and timing than anything else. As we are lucky enough to be there at the time when no one else wants the damn job!
Get over your damn selves!!! We have no more advantage than your a@@e@ do. And for those of you that won’t let the damn house negro myth go, I will tell you again. Those were the slave owners children whether he actually acknowledged them or not. If they didn’t work in the field, so what? I am always going to treat my children different than I would someone else’s. Exercise some actual common sense where that one is concern and finally let that sh*t go.
And, let go of that “I’m natural!!!” bullsh*t! Nobody gives a f*ck about how YOU CHOOSE to wear your damn hair. If you want to wear an afro, wear it and shut the f*ck up about it. Stop trying to tell the rest of the Black race how their hair should be. We can wear out hair any way we want. If you were so damn comfortable and happy with your hair and how “natural” it is, you wouldn’t talk about it every two seconds and feel the need to trumpet how happy and comfortable you are with your kinky, natural, not white hair! GTFOH! Do you really believe that the majority of the white women that you see walking around are natural?! Do you?! If you do, you’re as stupid as I am sitting here thinking your dumb a@@ is! The majority of white women are fried, dyed and laid to the side, thank you very much! It amazes me how so many on this site think they know so much and don’t know sh*t! Try walking into a white hair salon sometime and pay attention fools. Talk to some of them. Relaxers, hair color, extensions, weaves, clip ons, hair dye, etc., that was all pioneered for white women and then reformulated, repackaged and rebranded for us. I’ve repeatedly told you that the bulk of the money that made in cosmetics and hair is from white woman. Yeah, they like the money that we spend but, we are a small part and an afterthought. Yeah, every so often they bring up how much we spend but, that’s actually brought up to show how much we spend on that in relation to what we make. It’s not that we’re keeping the cosmetic/hair industry afloat because quite simply, we don’t.
Get thee some education, a clue and some damn self love. Dark skinned Black women are their own worse enemy and then, sadly, an enemy to rest of the race because y’all can’t let go of those self-made demons and move on. You do your own selves in before anyone else would even have a chance to do so. SMDH!
This ish done pissed me off royally this morning! Too damn early.
WOW!! brooklynbabe tell us how you really feel!! LOL!! You made some valid points.
Babycakes, it just drives me crazy. No one has to do anything to us because we do it all ourselves. I’d just like to shake the sh*t out of most of our people. How long has Spike been telling fools to “WAKE UP!”
You are truly one of the best examples of an angry black woman, case… point… proven.. your language, demeanor, style of writing speaks for itself sister girl. Ms Hubert was dead on with you. She never said anything about light skinned verses dark skin, not one word. You owned that…guilty!!!
Sad……..Sad……..Sad…….brooklynbabe
I agree. The response was illustrative of the very divisive, angry black woman in the article. No one cares if it is too early in the morning for you to read -ish. Stop projecting other people’s views on yourself-heal yourself. Stop bringing white women into everything to justify your state. Your values, mores and characteristics are uniquely your own, independently of what others are doing. @ Melody, your comments were most logical and well-reasoned. Thank you. If you didn’t know what Ms. Hubert was doing for the last twenty years it’s because YOU didn’t know, not that she wasn’t working. Where have YOU been? She is as relevant as any of us.
Brooklynbabe, I think I know where you are coming from. There is this assumption that light skinned black ppl are treated more favorable than dark skinned blacks, and a lot of us pretty much accepted it out of ignorance of what’s really going on. I suspect that it’s mostly a myth, and I came to this opinion back when I was in college. I had a roommate, and he was mixed, curly hair, not that bright, but definitely not dark skinned.
There wasn’t that many blacks on and around campus, and we would have these sessions where we would just talk about bull shit that we had to deal with. The first time the topic came up, and he would try to relate his experiences, I was like, ”yeah right. You would know.” But we got to talk about it a lot, and I was surprised how he would be describing the exact same shit that I was dealing with. From going in a store and as soon as you enter the door, someone is onto you asking how they can help you, as if that’s what they really meant. We talk about coming off the shuttle and these women would be acting nervous to the point where we would just wait until they were gone or quickly get ahead of them .
After quite a few of these sessions, I seriously started wondering whether or not he may actually be catching more hell than I was. That shit was a wake up call for me. So ever since, I never really buy into the notion that light skinned people really have it that much easier.
Interesting…
I don’t really have a problem with this article. My only exception is her comment about
“How many times do you walk into a store and if there is a black woman behind the register she has attitude and acts like she is doing you a favor by being there.”
I usually seek out the registers with the black women, which usually provide a more pleasant encounter.
But she at least tried to apologize for this attitude.
“I too have been guilty of jumping all over someone who made a simple mistake. Was it because I am an angry black woman?”
Maybe if some of you look deep into yourselves, you will see that you share more in common with Janet, as far as attitudes and reactions to everyday experiences in this western world.
She relevant how? And to whom?
@Reds,
“Maybe if some of you look deep into yourselves, you will see that you share more in common with Janet, as far as attitudes and reactions to everyday experiences in this western world.”
Yes, many of us do share commonalities with Janet but we do not all handle our experiences in the same manner. I bet she did go through hell being dark and let’s not forget all the songs and comments from Black men exalting light skin in recording etc etc. I also believe Will Smith may have been repulsed by her if you reflect on the women he strictly attaches himself to. IMO they truly cannot help themselves and the brainwashing is now a permanent fixture in the psyches of too many which then trickles down and is perpetuated by future generations. I’m not light or dark and have never been teased about my complexion but it’s obvious what is happening and who is in the forefront of promoting this hierarchy completely rooted in white supremacy IMO. My biggest heartbreak over the issue of colorism is that Black women who ‘deal with reality’ will inevitably make a conscious decision to disconnect from and place no familial value on those in their own community who (1) fiercely promote colorism and (2) those who benefit from it yet pretend it’s nonexistent. All these attitudes are bound to severely weaken our community even further over the long haul for sure.
@ brooklynbabe,
“Dark skinned Black women are their own worse enemy and then, sadly, an enemy to rest of the race because y’all can’t let go of those self-made demons and move on. You do your own selves in before anyone else would even have a chance to do so.”
Certainly not all light skin women are stuck on themselves or try to diminish darker ones, but some behaviors have definitely manifest themselves on a deep subsconscious level IMO. I have noticed that some lighter women actually expect other women to react, fawn over and defer to them as Black men are usually expected to. I have also heard some light skinned and biracial women say they will not deal with Black men who overtly fetishize them for their skin color. I, personally, do not bow to lighter or non-Black women as I prefer to meet and deal as ‘equals’ at all times. Sometimes this position/attitude is not good enough for those who subscribe to a fake hierarchy but I refuse to perpetuate this bullshyt. There’s plenty of information out there about the effects of colorism and it is alive and well in 2011.
Thank you, Melody for the only intelligent response to the article. Interestingly enough, Ms. Hubert posed her query as food for thought base upon her experiences and observations. Many responders projected the article onto themselves and became the very “angry” people discussed in the article. It’s no secret in the Black community that color-based biases by us and against us erode our pysche and we perpetuate these things with our anger. Look at how some responders felt the need to insult Ms. Hubert for having an opinion because they haven’t observed her work in the past 20 years. Yet, she has worked within the past 20 years. Who cares whether you want to hear this =-ish in the morning–the article was not written about you–on the other hand, it appears, based upon your response, that it was. To counter a point, you don’t become the illustration of it. There were many accuracies in Ms. Hubert’s statements–some of you are in denial and it has nothing to do with Ms. Hubert’s career or lack of career. Check yourselves, because any one of us who has endured the same biases, could have written that article.
Personally I think a lot of what she wrote has merit; however, I don’t necessarily agree as to the root of the anger. First of all, I disagree that historically black women have had to raise families alone. The current state of the black family is not entirely rooted in our slave past because it is a fact that just 50 years ago the vast majority of blacks married and were raised in two parent households. It has only been in the last couple of decades that single, never married, parent households have become the norm in many black communities. Now as to the arger, my observation is that Americans as a whole are angry. Part of the problem is that we have become a very self absorbed culture. Second we have also become a culture of victims. Therefore I often see people angry because they find themselves in situations in which they have created themselves.Sometimes its the angry single mother working at a low paying job mad at the world because the father of her child is missing in action but odds are the guy was no good in the first place yet she chose to lay down with him anyway. There’s the brotha at the barbershop mad at the world because he can barely make his child support payments, but yet it never occurs to him to wear a condom before jumping in bed with some woman. Then there’s the angry white guy complaining that blacks and women are getting all of the jobs when the truth is that he’s just never worked very hard and now is mad that he has to actually compete.
DONe, I think if you look at the different angers which you described, you will see a pattern. The white man anger is not real. It’s hate resulting from the fact that he is not always able to benefit from the white supremacist system designed to make sure that he always gets ahead of blacks. The system is not working for him if ever a black man gets a better job than him. In the case of the black woman with the menial job, it’s the same white supremacist system designed to increase the chance that a black person does not get a good job. You have a racist system making it less likely for you to live in a wealthy enough school district to ensure a good enough education in order to get a good job. Then you have the racist system designed to keep down the black man with burdensome child support payments.
Black anger is real, and the source is the white supremacist system we live in.
Wow, some of you people that post here are really interesting. You hide behind your computers saying what you will, but if it does not move you then… why bother. She stands behind how she feels and what she believes, you all remain nameless, I can respect her more that I can respect any of you. You want people in the public eye to be nicey nicey, sisters are supposed to just take this shit that brothers are always saying about us in the public and simply stew on it. Not this time. Steve Harvey, Michael Basiden, Chris Rock, all pretending to understand black women, speaking against black women. Well a sister finally addresses the not so wonderful title given to black women by the world, and not the white world, the black world, the black media, black comedians, black blues songs, etc, need I say more. This woman has suffered many many slings and arrows from the black public, if anyone has a right to be angry it is she,but she is not, she is a survivor. This article must bring conversation to black men and black women, that we must own up to what we have done to each other. Something has really died in the black community and that is the sense of we are a village, there is no real black pride anymore.
Seems like her bad experience due to Will Smith divaism kind of made her bitter at the Hollywood structure. For the most part she has some truth to her vent. To say every black woman behind the counter has an attitude is a stereotype. A bad one at that.
To say she is known relevant is unfair. She has a relevant view of her experience in Hollywood. Whether good or bad she was there.
I’m sorry but Hollywood still looks for light bright and daggon near white. If they crazy dark they prob. done took off all they clothes, had a gay scene, or playing a bad stereotype. Why else would a no talent skank like Rihanna get all the money?
Not saying Janet is right on all angles, I just think her viewpoint is relevant that’s all.
Yeah that Janet Hubert is something else…LOL I know Will had fun messing with her just to strike a nerve and get her going because he probably knew the outcome of what would happen. If I meet her on the street and I know that she will be like that…I simply wouldn’t say anything to her. She has a very strong personality and probably is doing her own thing now because no one can handle her…but HER! Anyway…to each is own!