sheryl mallory johnson

Sheryl Mallory-Johnson

*While some women are contemplating weight loss, changing careers, or exercising as their New Year’s Resolution, others are taking more serious action ─ filing for divorce.

This is not according to Sheryl Mallory-Johnson; this is according to eDivorcepapers.com, an interesting article that I ran across on the Net.  Apparently, January has the highest rate of divorce filings than any other month of the year.  Way to kick off 2012 ladies!

Okay, perhaps I’m being a bit bias by siding with the ladies on this issue. But instinct tells me that more women are unhappy in relationships than men; statistics tells me that two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women.

Imagine what drives a woman to walk out on her husband at the turn of the year. It certainly is not the Christmas bill. Some women have contemplated divorce year in and year out, for a number of marital woes: betrayal, abuse (emotional and sometimes physical), being devalued, disrespected, or just feeling plain old worn out and beat down.

I suppose the New Year brings on an epiphany for these women: My life won’t change if I don’t make a change.  In any case of transformation, this couldn’t be a truer affirmation.  So, while many of us are singing Auld Lang Syne,  basking in bliss and good cheer,  a wounded and weary woman somewhere is packing her bags and telling her husband to kiss her a- -!

Before this conversation moves toward “male bashing,” let me say that I agree with the adage “There are two sides to every story,” meaning, there are a fair number of husbands who feel equally used and abused by their wives.

Some of you may wonder, as have I, if divorce is a necessary course of action for these couples.  Are these women and men acting on impulse or is divorce a justifiable solution to their perceived problems?

Whatever the case, my heart goes out to these couples. It cannot be easy to pack up and give up on your hopes and dreams – for your marriage, your family or for yourself.

If someone that you know and love is contemplating the dissolution of a marriage this year, I hope that you will do the following:

  • Be a good sounding board.
  • Consider both sides of their story.
  • Encourage them to take responsibility for the role that they played in their own unhappiness and not take the victim stance.
  •  Cheer them on if they need cheering.
  • Don’t be a Hater, projecting your own unhappiness onto them.
  • Be compassionate and supportive.
  • Stand strong – for them.  They need all the strength they can get.
  • Advise that they seek professional help if necessary.

After all, no one is immune from heartache.

Sheryl Mallory-Johnson is an author and book coach.  Her latest novel “Love & Regrets,” is available now through Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com. For more information you can visit Sheryl at http://www.sherylmallory-johnson.com.

love & regrets