*Like everyone else, I am going to miss Whitney Houston.
I didn’t watch the funeral because I don’t enjoy being sad. Instead, I’d rather celebrate life, telling those I care about how much I love them when they are here, rather than wishing I’d told them after they are gone. The same way it makes no sense to only enjoy your meal after you’ve finished eating it, I always found it odd that people treat the dead far better than they would when they were alive.
Last week, to be honest, we were laughing at Whitney Houston: A Bobby/Whitney crack joke would get a lot of laughs at most Christmas parties, and you know it. This week, we are crying for Whitney, and that same joke would be worse than a white man using the n-word on his first day on the job. There is something about death that morphs the ridiculous into the sacred, or turns a talented artist into an untouchable gift from God. No rapper on earth dares to compare himself to Biggie or Tupac, and no civil rights leader can ever be Dr. Martin Luther King. I dare to say that had these men lived long lives, they would be as ordinary and flawed as the rest of us.
In the midst of my home-alone reflection, I also had to ask this seemingly awkward question: Does selling a lot of records make you into a better person? I wonder … if you take out the words “She sold 170 million albums” what people would say at Whitney’s funeral? Again, this doesn’t disparage her memory, but I’ve noticed how being famous can make some people think you are an important and worthy human-being. I am not nearly as well-known as Whitney, but I’m consistently amazed at how people who’ve heard about me sometimes like me before they even know me.
Do I think Whitney Houston is a significant human being worthy of being elevated above the rest of us? I have no idea. I didn’t see how she treated her loved ones, if she did charity for others, or if she went out of her way to live a purposeful life. All I know is that she could sing like an angel and had some personal challenges with drugs and alcohol.
What I also know is that funerals should not be a time to rewrite history or be untrue to yourself. They are a time to reflect on every dimension of a person’s life and to think about how you’re going to show love for those who are still with us. Every person in your life is going to have a funeral at some point in future; I highly recommend that you start appreciating them right now.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University and founder of the Your Black World Coalition. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.
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Umm…YEP! There may be a small percentage of “sincerity” (in conparison) but MOST of all this is…fake. And that’s b/c of all the GUILT peeps feel, for the fkd UP way peeps treated/said things about the deceased, when they were alive! It’s a FKD up way of …tryin to “cleanse” theirselves & suddenly be seen as a…”nice” person. NUTHin BUT…B.S.! They did it with M.J.& now with…Whitney! All this fkn “luuuuuv” shouldda BEEN,when she/they were still…alive! She/they cain’t smell/do SHYT, with ..”all these damn “flowers” now. But!?…it’s a reflection of just how FKD UP, H-Town AND this society is!!!! We luuuuuv to push peeps up?, only to tear them down, later! No one should be “stepped ‘on” when they are already down & ESPECIALLY “these” people (& others!) who have given SO much to ALL who have listened to/watched WTF they’ve contributed to this world! They shouuuuuuld “get a pass” BUT!?….there is NO “true “appreciation/respect” for these icons, who have MAAAAAADE these fkn…genres. If there waaaaas?, we would realize that OBVIOUSLY they are “in trouble/out of control” & not take advantage & “shots” AT them, when they are obviously..weak!, which prolly?, “pushes them” TO do WTF they do, that eventually takes a fatal toll on them. And/so “now” peeps wanna “celebrate” them, cause deep down?, “I” think peeps know/think/FEEL they are partly responsible FOR the person’s…demise. So in short?, all this?, is JUST like when a person’s on “life support”, & “the family” wants to keep them alive/”plugged in” for…..THEM & NOT the person, who REQUSTED to NOT BE on….life support, before they died!! Just selfish, B.S.human hypocrisy/guilt &….denial. And?…a G.D. shame! R.I.P. Whitney, deSPITE, all this self serving…”luuuuuv”! S.I.D./Chuuuuuuch!
I believe that Whitney received love and accolades from true friends and supporters while she was alive. Funerals will be funerals; a time when people should focus on the good in the persons life. The writer asks, “… if you take out the words “She sold 170 million albums” what people would say at Whitney’s funeral?” Perhaps that question was to “admonish” us who don’t have that level of visibility, however, on BET Remembers Whitney there were some little girls who danced in her “I’m Every Woman” video who are now grown. One of which informed the interviewer that she had cancer at that young age and Whitney paid for all of her medical expenses to get well and without her she would be dead. The fact of the matter is, there is good performed in everyone’s life, whether done on a large scale or small, and those who are on the receiving end of that goodness should be able to share that information with whomever regardless of when they choose to do so. I do agree with the author, people need their flowers while they can smell them, especially when they are going through challenges as opposed to pointing fingers, laughing and then doing a “180″ when they are gone.
This article shares some interesting introspect. Looking at life and asking questions which go beneath the surface would benefit us on so many levels – there’s more to Earth than its surface, right? A lot of our thinking – which influences the questions we ask and don’t ask at all – is molded by the societal construct. A lot of this societal construct is maintained by ‘the media’. And ‘the media’ is a chameleon-like creature always morphing into something other than just tv. I wonder…if the media on a continual basis gave more attention to positive happenings and possibilities in the world and instead of sensationalizing the negatives (death-crime-misfortune), it chose to celebrate the ways of avoiding the negatives and the people-places-things that have avoided them and continue to avoid them…would we do the same things (in our lives), too?
Someone else will be passing away soon– and I pray more people research the fact/embrace the fact, while living this life now, that we do not die…we pass away to the next phase of our soul’s existence…all energy existing does this. Anyway, like I was about to say, someone else will be passing away soon, so while yet another experience like this is still fresh, we can use this opportunity-our free will-our power and begin to do what we already know ‘the media’ will most likely never do, ourselves. I mean, with the opportunity-free will- and power that each of us has within (believe it or not), we should be in control of ‘the media’…it’s not natural for ‘the media’ to be in control of us.
I wonder if what Whitney did for that little girl (now grown) will make the “mainstream” tabloids, shows etc….? Prolly?…..sadly…..not!!! And that’s b/c those who accuse/make fun & money off of lying/tearing people down, are interested in exposing the “truth” that PROVES them to BE….the lying vouchers they are! Same with MJ! They made up shyt/avoided the obvious truth about him too! Look at what was said/writiten about Whitney and that “club incident” with K. Price! It was ALL negative about W.H.!! Then!?, we find out that EVERYone was sweating etc….like W.H. was!! And “that” shyt ain’t been retracted…..YET!!! But meanwhile……Elvis STILL ain’t/wasn’t a pedophile/monster, though he was fkn Precilla when he was 27, she was only…..”13″. The fkd up “spin” peeps allow the media to apply to shyt is truly….amazing. YT & ignorant people STILL refer to Native Americans as…”Indians”! We STIL@ allow the “Columbus discovered America” BS!! And we allow/and are involved in them continuing to ….lie on people/tear them down. It is great to know W.H. did “that”, & that wasn’t the 1st nor last of her deeds! As MJ gave MORE THAN THE FKN GOVERMENT to children in need!!! But let them tell it?, he was only….”looking for new victims etc… But after the “lies” have been told/believed ?, we are.NEVER interested in……the truth. Fkn sad!/SMMFH!!/Chuuuuuuch/S.I.D. Ps……and if WH diiiiid get all “this” kinda luuuuuuv when she was still alive, RECENTLY!!, & NOT when it was “PC” & she was “popular”!???, she prolly would still be here & at least trying to “deal with” her issues, instead of taking a very “lonely/UN “luuuuuuved” way…..out. And BTW?, people don’t usually TAKE that lonely way out when they “feel/get” all the love they “appear to receive” ONLY when they….die.
Sorry….are NOT interested in exposing the truth etc….!
What we shouuuuuld do from now on, for those who seem to be “in trouble” is…”not push them inTO the grave” but…..GIVE A DAMN!!! & hold their handlers as well as their DOCTORS …responsible. WTH do we expect the one WITH the prollum, to have the “objectivity” to FiX the damn prollum!!?? We don’t do that with regular people, so WTF do we change that for…..celebrities!?? Yo…drugs don’t fkn “discriminate”!!! They effect EVERYbody the saaaaaame waaaaaaay!!! So….stop playing & start….praying!!!, & hold these greedy, opportunistic “leeches” accountable. And BTW again…”fame” is ALSO a damn….drug! Moe chuuuuuuch fuh yah!