*When the threat of a painful situation is impending, we lose it. It is similar to bracing oneself before being rear-ended by a truck. We see devastation approaching and we run for cover as though the pain would be avoided if we hide. The lengths to which we will go to escape the grasp of a difficult situation are mind-boggling. Pain is a part of life. Not the best part of life, however, it is essential to our human experience. No matter who we are or where we come from, pain will eventually find us.
It hurts to wake up without the person you love, to raise children that turn to drugs, to search for employment each day to no avail, to experience rejection from family members, to be terminated after years on a job, or to lose the house you worked so hard for. Sometimes we experience the emotional pain of deeply embedded guilt or shame. Someone very beloved extended the opportunity for me to explore her emotional pain.
She had an abortion. As a matter of fact, she had two. She gently and honestly replayed the scene and I went along patiently. She described the cold, drab feel of the waiting room and the flat affect of countless women anxiously anticipating the next number being called. As she sat, she reiterated why this decision was necessary, that everything would be fine, that she would move forward. She continued the self-talk that prompted her to remain, even though everything in her was desperate to run. Once in the room, she recalled the last few moments: the flushed feeling of the medication in her intravenous line and then the sudden peace of sleep. She awakened in the recovery room with more than relief—she was filled with unexplainable emotions, and this began her chapter of pain. We all have painful remainders of our mistakes, disappointments, missed opportunities, physical injuries, abuse, and just plain old hardship.
Each of us has the power to do something very courageous. However, it requires a lot of strength and dedication and it is this, deal with the pain. It is easier said than done, I know. But too often we have turned a temporary situation into a life sentence. What prisoner chooses to remain in jail even though pronounced free? Its hurts, I know. But the pain will not go away if we don’t face it. It is time to begin the process of removing the band-aids and allowing these wounds to heal. Our wounds show others that we have a story to tell, that life has been a journey, and that we have struggled too. The pain we experience perfects us in ways we are incapable of doing ourselves. Difficult circumstances are present to purify us and to burn away the destructive qualities that are not fruitful in our lives. We have to learn to gain the most out of the things that seem to almost kill us. Impossible? It seems that way, but if we look at the healed scars of those around us, we will find people getting through painful situations everyday.
Myesha Chaney is a recording artist signed to Kingdomanity/Relevé Entertainment. Her debut CD, Take Him to The World, will be in stores and online outlets on July 3, 2012. She is a wife, mother and the first lady of Antioch Church of Long Beach, California, where her husband, Wayne Chaney, is Senior Pastor. She and her husband co-hosts a weekly radio show, “Real Life with Pastor Wayne and Myesha Chaney,” on Los Angeles’ KJLH. Please visit her at www.myeshachaney.com. You can email her at [email protected].