myesha chaney*When it comes to the areas of life we are confident in, we unashamedly step out to conquer. We tend to neglect the aspects of ourselves that require additional assistance. The tender spots, no touch zones, or the vulnerable places that reside in our souls. It is reminiscent of the “don’t you talk about my momma” kind of stuff. We, in more ways than one, gloss over our inability to handle and adequately deal with rejection. Rejection is being told “no” at times to things we feel we deserve or have earned.  It is also not being invited up to an elevated space when we clearly feel it is our rightful spot. Sometimes rejection is the unspoken gesture—or that lack thereof—that leaves us with this deep feeling of inadequacy. Let’s face it, rejection is commonplace. It is a shared emotion that we all experience at times in life.  As a matter of fact, this will never change; it is ongoing and will be apparent until the day we die.  Even then you may feel rejected that a neighbor did not attend the funeral service.  What the heck, we will not escape the very crucial reality that not everyone will value or like us. Since we cannot eradicate rejection, the feelings associated with it, or the consequences of it, we must learn how to overcome it; better yet, let’s become intimately acquainted with this heartbreaker.

Rejection is translated in our minds in a lot of ways.  Not getting the job translates to us as, “I am not good enough.” Being served divorce papers translates to us as, “I am not worth loving.” Not being selected to sing the solo translates to us as, “There are others much better than I am.” Even in childhood, we remember not being picked to start the afternoon basketball game, not being asked to go to the prom, or not being asked to be a part of the student council.  Regardless of the way we see or experience rejection, we must recognize it and deal with it in a healthy matter. As a child, I can remember singing everywhere I went. It was a joyous and exuberant feeling for me. Standing in the backyard belting out some good and sometimes bad notes was the highlight of my upbringing. It wasn’t until high school that I began my rejection tape recorder. I embedded the vivid scenes of those saying “it’s not that she can’t sing, she doesn’t have an ear for music.” Not only did I hear this, I replayed it over and over again. I felt not good enough to sing before anyone. My backyard stage instantly became my inward closet. I kept my notes, whether good or bad, to myself. It took years for me to finally confront the feelings and counteract them with positive reinforcement and, in most cases, the truth. It is of chief importance that we don’t allow rejection to stifle our growth and future potential, but that it remain exactly what it is, a transient emotion.

Myesha Chaney is a recording artist signed to Kingdomanity Entertainment.  Her debut CD, Take Him to The World, will be in stores and online outlets on July 3, 2012.  She is a wife, mother and the first lady of Antioch Church of Long Beach, where her husband, Wayne Chaney, is Senior Pastor.  She co-hosts a weekly radio show, “Real Life with Pastor Wayne and Myesha Chaney,” with her husband on Los Angeles’ KJLH.   Please visit her at www.myeshachaney.com.  You can email her at [email protected].