*Everyone struggles at one point or another in life with saying “no.”

Whether it’s because we want to impress the person who is asking us to do something, or just have trouble saying “no,” that act in itself can really take a toll on an individual.

MadameNoire writer Jazmine Rogers knows this all too well as she grew up with the same habit and finally kicked it.

Here’s an excerpt from a piece in which she teaches us how to say “no.”

I am rarely ever opposed to being vocal about how selfish I believe my younger brother to be. His attitude is self-preservation above all else. Don’t get me wrong, he’ll do the occasional favor or two, but at the end of the day it is all about his wants, his needs, his pleasure, his car, and his girlfriend. But can you really blame him? That seems to be all most guys care about at 19 years old. I on the other hand am the exact opposite. I am always putting others before myself. I live, eat, and breathe with a favor or two, or three on my to-do list. People call on me for all kinds of favors from babysitting to borrowing money and somehow no matter how hectic my life may be at the moment I find it in me to muster up a yes.

Read more at MadameNoire.