*One thing that many black men and women can claim they have in common is that they grew up in households where a whuppin’ here and there from their parents was common.
The accusation that Creflo Dollar choked his daughter last week has had the black community talking about it as if the era of whipping your kids is over.
Essence writer Demetria Lucas took on the topic and asked if we go too far sometimes as parents
Check out an excerpt from Demetria Lucas’ post on disciplining our children:
Creflo Dollar, founder and pastor of the Atlanta-based megachurch World Changers International, was arrested on Friday and charged with simple battery and child cruelty after he allegedly attacked his 15-year-old daughter. She claims her father threw her to the ground, punched her in the face, and hit her with a shoe, according to the police report. On the 911 tape, she also said that “it was not the first time it’s happened.” Dollar’s 19-year-old daughter backs up her younger sister’s claims.
In an initial statement from his lawyer, Dollar said, “I love my children and I always have their best interest at heart at all times, and I would never use my hand to ever cause bodily harm to my children.”
Read more at Essence.
“I love my children and I always have their best interest at heart at all times, and I would never use my hand to ever cause bodily harm to my children.”
I won’t cause you any harm but, I will hurt that ass! And, your feelings too! Less children get that ass beat in the Black community today than ever before and the community as a whole is seriously starting to suffer for it. We cannot continue to allow others to dictate to us what we do in our own household. At the end of the day, it is up to us to raise our children. We’re the ones held accountable if they turn out to be shit or worse. Danned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Have you ever noticed that those that complain about kids getting their asses beat (aka abused) were often hell on wheels as kids? Just willful, arrogant, disrespectful little f’ers. If you catch them at the right time and really talk to them, you learn that they didn’t get beat just to get beat; they weren’t abused. They got beat because somewhere in their little child’s mind was warped and they felt they should have been allowed to do whatever they wanted and be given all of they wanted period. Their attitude was, “who are you to deny me?!” Whatever mental issue they had never got corrected with the onset of adulthood and if you talk to them and really listen, you’ll see that it’s not just spanking or an occasional rap in an especially sassy mouth that they’re against, they are against any type of punishment of a child corporal or otherwise.
And, I am so sick of hearing from those mental defects that spanking children makes them violent. Humans by nature are violent from birth and demanding too. You are taught otherwise. You are socialized not to give in to your base nature. If you get close enough to a baby that you have pissed off or scared, they will instinctively slap the shit outta you. If you have something they want, they will snatch it from you. If the child can move or crawl and cannot yet verbally communicate, they will reach out and grab you and drag you to where they want you to be. A baby will scream it’s head off to get you to feed them, change them, alleviate their boredom/loneliness. We are selfish and violent by nature from birth. Civilized behavior is taught, it is not natural. It is something that we come to and is necessary for us to conform to in order for us to live together.
Before dumb asses go agreeing and following the stupid people that are against the proper correction of a child, they need to insist that these people be evaluated by a mental health professional. I am certain that many will be found to be seriously lacking to dictate what society should and shouldn’t do and quite a few will be found to have some very serious mental/character defects.
Too many of our children are out in the world improperly prepared today and too many are dead or headed to death because of it. Wake up!
“Humans by nature are violent from birth and demanding too. You are taught otherwise. You are socialized not to give in to your base nature.”
brooklynbabe, check out this movie called “We Need to Talk About Kevin”. Sounds like you just described Kevin above. At one point the frustrated mother grabs and throws him across the room causing him to break his arm, but years later while in jail he said something to the effect that it was the best thing she’d done for him. I definitely believe in discipline but not abuse. My parents had pretty good control of us and we never got too far out of line because their were consequences to face. For example, I would honor curfews and return the car on time because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out or borrow it the next time I asked. Around14 or 15 I began to seriously take note and analyze what was happening around me and made a conscious decision to stay in my place, follow house rules and bide my time til adulthood. Some kids make conscious decisions to go left or right and do need some proper nudging to stay on track…then there are those who will do as they please and take their punishment.
Broke the kid’s arm?! That’s just beyond too far. An ass whopping or smack in the mouth, fine. Abuse definitely not!!!
I just went back and actually read the last three paragraphs that that dumb heifer wrote and damn if she isn’t one of those defective individuals I was just ranting about that were hell on wheels and felt in their broken mind that they were just in their actions, the adults be damned and never got over it and realized the error of their ways upon reaching adulthood.
These broken, defective individuals are the ones that have been screaming the loudest the last 30 years and are responsible for the downward spiral that we are heading towards in this country today. A few assholes are going to be the ruin of us all and that’s not the way it’s supposed to be people.
If she was my daughter I would send her but off to a boarding school, then at 18 she would be on her own and I’d take her but out of the will. See how she can handle that. Call the police then….
I, FIND, IT IRONIC, THAT, PASTOR DOLLAR, IS PAID, HUNDREDS, OF THOUSANDS, OF DOLLARS, FOR SPEAKING, ENGAGEMENTS, FROM, ALL, OVER, THE WORLD, BUT, YET, HE, CAN’T SPEAK, TO HIS OWN CHILD, WITHOUT, GETTING VIOLENT. AS, A CHRISTIAN, I, AM, TOTALLY, EMBARRASSED, BY, THIS, SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOR, BY THESE, HIGH PROFILE, PASTORS. I RAISED, TWO DAUGHTERS, BY MYSELF, AND, I NEVER, LAID A HAND, ON THEM. THERE, WERE, SOME TRYING TIMES, BUT, I SAT, DOWN, WITH, MY CHILDREN, AND TALKED, TO THEM, BELEIVE, ME, IT WORKS. MY DAUGHTERS, ARE 25, AND 35, YEARS, OLD NOW, AND THEY ARE AMAZING, YOUNG WOMEN. PASTOR, DOLLAR, BROUGHT, THIS, MESS, ON, HIMSELF, HE, HAD, ALREADY, TOLD, HIS DAUTHTER, THAT, SHE, COULDN’T GO, TO THE PARTY, THAT SHOULD, HAVE BEEN, THE END, OF THE CONVERSATION. BUT, THEN, HE, HAS, TO FOLLOWER, HER, INTO, THE KITCHEN, AND, ASK, HER, WHY, WAS, SHE, CRYING. WHO, CARES, IF, SHE, IS CRYING, SO, WHAT, LET HER CRY. PASTOR DOLLAR, CALLED 911, AND SAID, HER, FATHER, CHOKED, PUNCHED, AND THREW, HER, TO THE FLOOR, AND, TO MAKE MATTERS, WORSE, IS THAT, HER BIG SISTER, BACKED, UP HER STORY. SO, WHAT, WAS, THE POLICE, SUPPOSE, TO DO, IGNORE, THIS ABUSE, JUST, BECAUSE, HE’S A PASTOR. NOW, THE NAACP, HAS GOTTEN, INVOLVED, WITH THIS MESS, OBVIOUSLY, THEIR, ONLY, MOTIVATION, FOR DOING, SO, IS, TO GET, A BIG FAT DONATION. THIS IS DISGRACEFUL, WHEN, I THINK ABOUT, ALL OF THE BLACK PARENTS, THAT, HAVE BE FALSELY, THAT CAN’T MAKE THE 5000 DOLLAR BAIL, OR EVEN 500 DOLLAR BAIL, IN SOME CASES. WHIPPING, IS SUCH, A BIG, PART, OF OUR CULTURE, IT, IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR, AND I STEMS, FROM SLAVERY. WHEN EVER, THE SLAVES, WOULD TRY TO LEAVE, OR STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES, THEIR OWNERS, WOULD WHIP THEM, TO GET THEM BACK, IN LINE. SADLY, THIS INHUMANE TREATMENT, HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FOR GENERATIONS, IT’S KNOW WONDER, WHY, THERE, IS SO, MUCH VIOLENCE, IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.