Creflo & Taffi Dollar
*Blogger Deborrah Cooper has written an open letter to Taffi Dollar, the wife of Creflo Dollar, in the wake of news of the pastor’s arrest for assaulting his 15-year-old daughter.
In it, Cooper talks about child abuse and domestic violence in the black community and how black women always defend the pastor or any man, and throw the girl (or boy in eddie long’s case) under the bus.
Though we have never met Mrs. Dollar, we have two very important things in common… we are both black women, and we are both mothers of daughters. I believe that makes us and millions of other black women more alike than dissimilar, and it is on the basis of those similarities that I am writing to you.
In front of me lies a copy of a Fayette County Sheriff’s Office report. The report recounts the events which took place at your home on Friday, June 8th 2012 between your 50-year-old husband Creflo and your 15-year-old daughter Lauren. The reporting officer was quite thorough. It seems Officer Everett took extra care to be so, probably due to the celebrity status of the accused perpetrator.
I’m sure none of this is easy for you, Lauren or Alexandria, and it’s probably very confusing for the rest of the children as well. I’m positive even your extended family is filled with shock, dismay and fear of possible changes coming due to this accusation. Those are all things to think about at some point, but my primary focus right now is on Alexandria and Lauren. As a Mom, it is very easy for me to see them both as my own children, which is why I have to ask you some hard questions.
Let’s just get to the point: What are you doing, Taffi? Why are you protecting Creflo and allowing your daughters to be condemned by the world as belligerent, wild, liars, troublemakers and tools of Satan? Why are you not speaking up to counter those claiming your daughters are out to destroy their father by calling the cops? How can you stand idly by and allow Creflo’s violent temper and controlling behavior to terrorize your children?
Yes, I know of your husband’s world fame and mass fortune. I understand that this happened in your home and that you might consider this a private matter; however, the fact that your husband is a world-famous public and religious figure removes any possibility of privacy. Reality is that Creflo and your entire family are considered public figures, which makes you unable to escape public scrutiny. What happened in your house that evening is the business of every African American, every Christian that follows Creflo, and every person curious about what steps the law will take in this matter.
Sitting Creflo’s fame aside, let’s look at this matter as if his name were still Michael Smith, and he was any other father in a physical altercation with his 15-year-old daughter
- It’s completely normal for a 15 year old girl to want to go to a party, be with her friends, and to begin exploring the opposite sex. It is also normal for a father to tell his daughter that since her grades are not up to par she cannot attend fun events (like a party) until next report card. It is totally normal for a father to ground his daughter until grades show marked improvement. However, let’s look at the calendar. This is mid-June, when schools around the country are out for summer vacation. Kids Lauren’s age are having graduation parties and year-end “whoo hoo we’re out of school!” bashes. Since students won’t be returning to school for months, there is really no need to worry about grades until school resumes in the late summer. If the child’s grades show her to be worriedly behind, why not secure tutoring over the summer to make sure her grades are up to par by fall? Not attending one party is not going to make her grades improve by September. Why not drive her to the party and pick her up two hours later on the dot. She would be grateful that she was allowed to attend and make a “brief showing,” but she wouldn’t be there as long as she wanted. Parenting is not always focusing on punishing but showing your child that there are repercussions for their behavior.
- Repercussions and punishment do not include putting a female in a chokehold or body slamming her to the floor. According to the Deputy’s report, your husband followed your daughter into the kitchen after she chose to deescalate their ‘argument’ by removing herself from his presence. Yet, he trailed after her looking for trouble. He’d already won – she wasn’t going to the party. Crying tears of disappointment, frustration, perhaps even anger at herself for not doing better in school, Lauren was away from your husband. She was in a space where she could commiserate with her sister. What else is there for Creflo to say to the child when he’d already won the battle? So why ask her why she was crying when he already knew? It seemed he was just being a bully, looking for a fight with someone smaller and weaker. He came into the kitchen to taunt your daughter and to vent his rage.
- Charging across the room to put his hands on your daughter’s throat, bending her over a table, punching her, then beating her with his shoe? This is a young lady with a woman’s body – breasts, buttocks and hips. Why would her own father assault her in such a way? Why would he bend her over a table and throw her on the floor, placing himself in positions of sexual dominance while he beats her? Don’t you think such a reaction is over the top, distastefully aggressive and more similar to a jealous and possessive boyfriend than a father?
- Why did you not come to investigate what was going on when you certainly heard all the commotion? I’m wondering why you didn’t intervene long before Alexandria had to fetch you. Even then your reaction was shockingly serene when a scene of violence lay before you. That tells me that you are conditioned to such acts, and that violence in your home is normalized for you. That is why you didn’t bother coming to see what was amiss. That is why neither you nor Alexandria called 9-1-1. However Lauren, tired of being treated like a dog, had enough and sought help outside the clan. I applaud her bravery and sense of self-preservation.
Read the rest of Deborrah Cooper’s open letter at Women Pray Men Pray.
I was wondering what Taffi ( the name Taffi really??? lol) was doing when all of this was going down. i know if my husband was attcking/fighting with my daughter I would be in the room with a quickness and trying to help my child
My opinion is…. this letter is for pure show and to gain more readers which is cool. But,the reality is…this letter should have been sent to Mrs.Dollar instead of posting it online. Every family have some problem with their kids no matter what color you are,so to make this a Black thing is stupid in my opinion. In regardless of what Mr.Dollar did or did not do he shouldn’t be made a villain of some sort. The problem lies what the society of today, you can’t do this or you can’t do that to your hard headed children. Me as a father when my kids got out of line and step to me like an adult they will be treated as such. Just as many White family go though life with the same set if issues with their kids,so please don’t make this issue a one race problem. I agree with sFloyd wholeheartedly,The author of this blog needs a reality check. My Father beat my azz and I didn’t turn out to be a reject to society of today,as a matter if fact….he may have saved my life. Was he 100% right?probably not,was he 100% wrong? absolutely not.
You probably beat your wife and children. SMH
I love the letter, but I don’t seriously if Taffi will ever read it or even hear about it for that matter.
I want to say first and foremost I am not a member of his church. I don’t think any of us know what went on that night. But why do you feel the need to write a public letter about this situation to Taffi Dollar instead of writing a letter to her personally. Don’t you think they have enough negative public display!!!
The person who wrote this letter is something is wrong with you. she is a child what ever it is, her father said no and that the end of that, kids need to be kids, it is not ok to talk back to your parent what earth you came from. if she was my daugther i would have beat her butt, and if she call the police, i might have went to jail but guess what when i got out lauren had to move out of my hose and let the law take care of her. a child can not rule my house i am the H N I C MY WAY OR THE HIIGH WAY. I can see if he messing with her sexural yes called the police but because she trying to be grown no way a child can rule i am the owner and she is the guest. when she get her own than she do what she want to do but not in mind. Let The Church Say Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She never talked back, so where did you get that from? The sister and the girl and Creflo both said she went into another room. She was not talking to him AT ALL so how could she “talk back?” And even if she did, so what? How did that hurt him? All he had to do was say go to your room. You don’t beat on your child because they say something you don’t like. Black parents are too quick to put their hands on their children and beat them into submission instead of educating and loving them. That is not proper parenting. No wonder so many black children are violent thugs. They learned how to be that way from Mom and Dad.
What went on between Creflo Dollar and his family was their business. We were taught to obey our parents and if we didn’t like it get out and get your own. That is what Creflo should have done, GET OUT! if you can’t obey my rules.
She’s getting those minks and diamonds and rides in Limo’s. She ain’t no fool.
I agree with the letter that was written. I read the report and the young lady defused the situation by walking into another room. I don’t know why folks keep harping on that she ‘sassed’ her father when clearly the report stated the argument was over before he decided to go buck wild on the child after the fact.
The only part I have an issue with is the time of the party. I think 1 am in the morning is way too late for a 15 year old be hanging out at a party. I would not allowed her to attend this one but instead another when the time frame is more reasonable. Young girls (and even boys for that matter) should not be hanging out at all times of the night. That’s nothing but trouble. Black folks believe that beating is the solution to everything. While I agree not everything needs to be debated on with a teen, they are people with feelings too. To simply ‘beat them’ because they ‘sassed you’ out of frustruation, is extreme. To me, that’s suppressing a child’s feelings and sometimes that causes a serious disconnection with a parent. But I’m in the minority here so….
I agree with you NYC. And to piggy-back off what you said…to me…that teaches your kids that violence is the way to solve problems. And if the allegations are true of HOW he disciplined her, he needs to be locked up. First of all, what is he teaching his daughters? That it’s ok to have a MAN beat on you?? Secondly, she shouldn’t have had to walk away…he should have told her to GO TO HER ROOM and that would have been the end of the conversation. But for Laffy Taffi to sit there and do nothing, she’s just as guilty!
NYCsoul, ez3372, I concur and I asked the same thing . . .what-the-heck was TAFFI doing in the kitchen at 1am??? I can’t count how many times my beef with my kids was over WAY before I wanted it to be, He wanted to make sure she KNEW he was in control IN, EVERY, STINKING, WAY!!! I shudder to think how he had put or “puts” it on Taffi. He needs to come clean, and he’ll be alright, because you know the black church will embrace him like a newborn lamb.
Would people please stop with that “it teaches to solve your problems with violence nonsense”! I got many azz whoopings growing up and it didn’t teach me that. It taught me to stop fukking up! The problem is filks need to stop trying to be their child’s friend. When you tell your child no that’s what it means. Not that you have to sit down and explain to them why you said no. I don’t know when parents had to start explaining themselves to their children. It’s total b.s. OH and don’t even look like you want to talk back!!! WHAT? Did you say something?? I heard you in your room mumbling!!!
lololololol! You feel me? I’m reading some of this like “hunh?”
There shouldn’t even have been a discussion. I said no and you sit yo lil ass down somewhere and cry about it in silence. No talking, no mumbling, no attitude..just sit yo ass down!
This is the first time that I have heard about this concerning “Rev Dollar and his daughter.” And upon reading this letter posted by Ms. Pooper, I am glad that I have not prior to now; because I would be all over her, in my comments as follows: Who does she think she is by demanding to know what’s going on in the Dollars’ home? How dare you publish such ridiculous and outlandish “allegations” against an upstanding African American man and the religious community? It is amazing how outsiders try to advise other families, on how to parent their children and run their household! It is offensive and misleading to our children and gives them a false belief that it is common for them to want, to party and get with the opposite sex. It also encourages them to follow through on their urges and experiment with their desires. Ms. Pooper accuses Mr. Dollar of having a jealous boyfriend mentally with his own daughter, with a sexual overtone. Sadly if unchecked this child, might start to believe, in her mind that her father is or has sexually molested her; especially if she subscribes to Ms. Poopers irrational and provocative philosophies’. That kind of rhetoric and overtone is throughout her letter, as she addresses Mrs. Dollar in a very overbearingly and broad in her statements, insomuch as to make comments, like Black America has a right to know the goings on in her house and her co-parenting lifestyle with her husband? Ms. Pooper is condemning Mrs. Dollar as if she is being a poor parent and that Mr. Dollar has no stock in their daughter; and she is the sole parent. Why are African American men dehumanized by white America and Black America join in, instead of offering some positive highlight or making a comparative that they are not alone? Blacks will exploit the situation even more by adding enflaming descriptions and portray black men as; the criminal deviant behavior, which is normal behavior for Mr. Dollar and now his child, will start to look at him in that manner too.
I am not an editor or publisher, but I know about having validation your source of information; more than taking the frustrating and often over exaggerated, ramblings of a fifteen year old child, who has a beef with her father. It is a unfair misrepresentation of the truth, bordering the lines of libel and slander. This child is young and impressionable; also by publishing this trash is of itself, a one sided article about her father has exposed her to an illegal drug or intoxicating substance, that controls her weak and unlearned mind. This false sense of control is a tool that this child and others will attempt use as a type moral compass to measure and pattern their behavior as a source of acceptable behavior to deal with their parents. These young people live in their parents’ home and everything that they have come from their parents. Ms. Pooper and others that use this kind of reverse character assignation does nothing to encourage acceptable conduct from our children. These children don’t care if it is right or wrong, they believe that their antisocial behavior is the way to go. They don’t realize that these other people do not provide for their future and basic wellbeing. This in turn is not healthy and these folks mean them no good, as well as their intentions might sound.
Bottom line, it is time for government and busybodies like Ms. Pooper to get hell out of the living room in American families and stop trying to pass their judgment as law and the ideal way of life; as a guideline for us to follow.
We need to let them know that we do not subscribe to that narcissistic invasion into our homes. We need to ensure our children, that the prescription of these types of people will destroy their lives and relationships with their parents. We need to teach our children to identify these people and to avoid them.
We should show our children that we love them and their best interest is always on our mind; that their success in life is our goal! We must prepare our children for the tests’ that life has to offer and what will happen when they veer off course. And above all pray and keep God at the forefront of all things before them. And that Christ would give us the strength and power to aide them along the way.
You guys didn’t read the whole letter or even read full reports on the story.
The party was not until this coming Saturday, not that night. The only reference to 1 am is that is when the cops were called. Hearing about 1:00 should not automatically translate into meaning that is when she was trying to leave the house to go to a party.
The child never talked back, she left the room to cry on her sister’s shoulder.
Creflo had already won the battle, when he said NO! Obviously she wasn’t going to the party, but he just wouldn’t leave her alone.
I agree with NYCSoul – there was no sane reason for that man to follow the girl into another room, purposely bait her, then jump on her like she was a hooker on the street. Choking her, punching her… that is not a spanking, that is a beating. And 15 year old girls do not get spankings anyway. That is a grown man beating on a young lady, and that is why he got arrested. Jerk.
We do not know that she was trying to go to a party at 1 am. She could have tried to go to a party much earlier but was denied by her father and this other fallout happened hours later.
This actual statement acknowledged that deputies responded to a domestic violence call at the home in unincorporated Fayette County around 1 a.m. With that said, it should not be interpreted that the daughter was attempting, or requesting to attend a party around that time of the morning. The written article never noted a date, or time of when the party would occur. Moreover, reports have surfaced that it’s not the first time Creflo’s 15 year old daughter has had to contact 911 on her father for abuse.
The info on the date of the party is in the police report. Was not Friday, but Saturday. Definitely not at 1:00 am.
so in other words, the author wrote this silly little letter because the “child” was female.
Then so further digs deep down in the land of foolishness by talking about “what other children are doing in June”…Woman, give me a damn break!
W/all the shyt this priveleged assed kids have access to, here you go applauding Lauren like she needs it. This is clearly explained by your belief that she should be allowed to go. Are you in the Dollar household? Then why do you think anyone is interested in hearing your opinion on where somebody else’s child should or shouldn’t go?
“And 15-yr old girls don’t get spanking anyway”
Too bad because she probably needs it. She and other lil pissy tail asssed girls….and boys.
The author’s letter was not silly, as to imply not valuable. The letter was very RELEVAN astute and valuable in addressing the actions of the The Dollar’s as parents. Its amazing how people who may either blatantly believe and support Creflo Dollar, or feel that a teen or child’s place is to be NOT HEARD and thus disciplined in whatever way the parent feels- especially when they are a mythological minister- like Creflo, is antiquated, irresponsble and potentially damaging to the child and family unit on so many levels. I believe the silver lining to this entire situation is that it is potentially serving as a WAKE CALL to many within the black community about how they raise their children as well as the depending on antiquated potentially abusive scriptures that are open to a plethora of relative interpretations to support their parenting tactics. VERY GOOD ARTICLE D.Cooper. It needed to be said. Yet, the sad reality is that we have too many Black people brainwashed by the church regarding the dysfunctional cultural parenting tactics (whippings) used on children.
All I have to say eeaah!?….. Whaaaaaaaat if the lil gul …..LIED!!!???? Peeps are so willing and EAGER to charge a Black man fuh some shyt, ‘on a fkn “rumor”!!! The tapes already have this spoiled,disobedient lil heffa lookin mighty…”crooked”! So the question eeaah?, whyyyyyyy come the “Black man”, doesn’t” get ANY benefit of the doubt, like ERRYine else does!!?? Hehh!!!??? What’s reeeeeeally goin ‘on, what’s the reeeeeeeeeal reason fuh dis fkd up season!!??? (operators are standing by!!)
Here’s the problem I have with this whole thing. We HAVEN’T heard from the girl!!! Rev goes before the congregation and tells them it was just a misunderstanding and he NEVER laid a hand on the young lady-Which implies she’s lying! said noting of the sort took place and the mark was from eczema not him hitting her. Implying his other daughter is a liar. Sorry but I don’t buy it!! Either these two girls have serious issues and need some serious family conseling or this guy needs to take his head out of the sand and TELL the TRUTH. Were all human and I for one would have more respect if he acted like it. I’d still be interested in hearing what happened from both daughters but we KNOW that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. It kills me how people are SO wrapped up in a guy’s position when it comes to a preacher. If he’s wrong he’s wrong. But Rev’s no dummy he know’s what happened with Bishop Long and he’s NOT about to lose those $$$$. The open letter is a statement IMHO it’s not for show. There are A LOT of unanswered questions here but it’ll all be swept under the rug, Just watch!
Since when have you ever needed to hear from the child who had been disciplined by the parent? Assuming that you’ve had friends/relatives who’ve had to discipline their own, did you request to speak w/the adult parent in order to verify the truth?
I agree that we don’t have all the facts. And when it’s concerning a family’s personal problems, we rarely (if ever) do.
This open letter is exactly as it seems…an opportunity. No if’s and’s or buttholes.
For all the people saying you haven’t heard from the daughter, well they played her 911 call on the radio this morning and she didn’t sound distress or anything. So how bad did Dollar really beat and choke her!!!!