You’ve picked the lock, scaled the walls, and are loading up a bag full of loot when bam, the lights come on, and you turn to see the homeowner, staring at you with a confused / angry look – and then you’re just as confused, because you’re thinking, hey wait, I know that guy from somewhere…
That scenario happened to a poor, unfortunate criminal last week. If you hadn’t heard, the guy that criminal was robbing turned out to be a jacked-to-the-max LL Cool J, who proceeded to beat the utter snot out of the guy.
That got us to thinking: aside from LL, who are the rappers you’d be safe robbing – and who are the ones that would absolutely beat the crap out of you?
These are our picks.
GOOD IDEA: Snoop Dogg (or Lion). Quite possibly high / passed out at the time.
BAD IDEA: DMX. For the psycho factor – and there’s sure to be some mean dogs around.
GOOD IDEA: Rick Ross. Probably would fall over exhausted after one punch. Easy to escape from.
BAD IDEA: Flo Rida. No way. Could probably rip most people in two; that guy’s built like a linebacker.
GOOD IDEA: Lil Wayne. Shouldn’t be too intimidating in person. Plus, he’s probably in some other part of the house, practicing his guitar.
BAD IDEA: Drake. You just never know with those Canadians, and that club showdown with Chris Brown showed us a lot.
GOOD IDEA: Jay-Z. Will be off somewhere changing diapers.
BAD IDEA: MC Hammer. What would be worth stealing in his house, anyways?
GOOD IDEA: Nelly. Somehow, we don’t think he’d be that tough. Those years with Ashanti have probably mellowed him.
BAD IDEA: P. Diddy. Certainly not afraid to be around gunplay.