monica cost

Monica Cost, Chief Brand Strategist

*”I think I was frightened to blink for a sec. Then Michell sung and woke my ass up from my daze! She always f—N the groove up.” is the infamous tweet that Keyshia Cole recently wrote about Michelle Williams after seeing Destiny’s Child perform during the Super Bowl halftime show. Certainly she is not the first celebrity to tweet something negative about another celebrity and she, unfortunately, won’t be the last.

When I read comments from anyone, not just celebrities, that demean or otherwise tear down another person, I often think “what was their intention?” I would venture to say that it is never okay to use your words or actions to destroy or tear down another human being, but to go on to a public social media site to do so is next level. I wonder, did the person do something to the person who is spewing? Is there an underlying jealousy that exists? Is the person typing the demeaning remarks so unhappy with themselves that all they can do is to look at the faults and flaws of others?

Don’t get me wrong, I have, in my lifetime, said things about people that weren’t up lifting. And, I had to check myself in the moment to find out where it was coming from. I have to admit, that at times, it was just easy to do since I was not talking directly to the person and therefore the words just seem to go into the atmosphere and not land anywhere. Well, that’s not what happens. I believe that the words we speak are seeds sown into the foundation of our lives.

Being on this authentic journey of shedding labels and living truth has caused a certain level of intolerance for labeling, ignoring intention, and basing my opinions simply by what I see. In addition, what comes out of my mouth should be directly in line with what I say and do. I’m not perfect. Not even striving for it. So, this is not a “I’m so righteous” moment. Rather a call to action for all of us to be more intentional about our words and deeds.

Right now, I can log onto Twitter and find thousands of comments that are intended to inflict pain and hurt on others. What I don’t know is what the author’s intent is. Although I do believe the comments are intentional ill will, I know that the reasons why people do it are many. They range from their own insecurity to jealousy, from a perceived slight to needing to have something to say. And, sometimes, it’s just pure misery and dislike for one’s self that causes the ill will to be communicated.

I don’t know Keyshia Cole personally, and I’ve never met her. I don’t know what kind of disagreement or conflict she and Michelle may have had in the past. However, as a Brand Strategist, I know that whatever the reason for Keyshia’s comment or anyone else who demeans someone publicly is, it ultimately makes you look bad. In addition, and as Keyshia probably knows, it never feels good to have negative comments written or said about you.

We’re all in this journey together, trying to make the best out of this life or working to survive the setbacks that come our way. We may hurt some people along the way. We will all certainly experience some failures and mishaps. I’m hopeful that we will all be so busy, one day, being about our life’s purpose that we will have little, to no time, for intentional ill will.

Ubuntu. I am, because we are.

Monica Cost is a Brand Strategist for Evidently Assured & the Live Your Truth Experience (L.Y.T.E.).  She is the Author  of the new life changing book on living an authentic life called, “The Things I  Used to do to Sneeze!: How to live an authentic life with awesome sensations” (found at Email her at:  [email protected] her via Twitter: @monicacost and Live  true!