*I originally wrote about this in 2005, based on a real life event.
Recently, a Facebook status gone wrong alarmed me that people are still thinking and acting like drink pimps and drink whores.
An ignominious idiot posted as her status: “Men will buy their boy a drink at the club quicker than they will buy a lady a drink in the club! Really which one are you trying to (have sex with)?”
To which I replied: “Well, you have to ask the unasked question, which is: “Really? I can have sex for a drink?” Then, you have the answer, which is another question: “Who is trying to have sex with a drink?” In addition, some men don’t like buying women drinks because of all the stigma and hype around it. I remember when it was super cool and laid back–you bought a woman a drink because you WANTED to, not because there was an expectation. I don’t really club anymore, but when I do, I don’t have a problem buying a drink for my homeboys or for women I WANT to buy drinks for. I ain’t trying to have sex with nobody with a drink.”
The troll went BALLISTIC and her friends started a feeding frenzy!
I deleted that idiot.
It’s astonishing to me that in 2013, people are still pursuing the same ill behavior with no signs of diminishing.
Therefore, I’ve decided to re-visit the original piece.
It was a Saturday night during my fraternity’s convention. One of my brothers called me over to a table in the hotel bar to help him keep six women company.
I slid right in between two of them and struck up a conversation. For fifteen minutes, we were having a good time. And then it happened.
One of the ladies sitting across from me with a really bad weave asked if I was buying a round of drinks for everyone since my fraternity brother had done so. I politely declined and attempted to go back to the conversation, which did not include her. Instead of taking “no” for an answer, she kept insisting and, eventually, another one joined her.
Acting as the group’s representative, she insisted that I had no business taking up their time if I didn’t intend to buy a round of drinks. I asked her if she was a drink pimp, since she was attempting to extract a drink from me as the price of conversation with her friends. But not even the insult stopped her and not one of the ladies spoke against the drink pimpin’.
I decided that since “no” wasn’t good enough, perhaps any old answer would do—even an experiment in social behavior.
I gave a simple reply to the demands: “Order whatever you like.” I knew that some would take it as a “yes,” but I also made certain that I didn’t say anything about paying–I just told them they could order whatever they wanted.
Immediately following my reply, I moved on to another group of people. The ladies secured their drinks, and began to move as well, but not before sending the waitress my way with the check.
Instead of paying nearly seventy dollars for alcohol for six people I didn’t know and didn’t offer anything to, I informed the waitress that I never made an offer to pay for anything and that she should pursue the people who were actually enjoying the drinks.
Of course, the women were mortified, as revealed by the looks on their faces.
Needless to say, there was a mad scramble as the broke drink pimps counted nickels and pennies to pay for drinks they never would have ordered on their own. An expensive lesson, but hopefully, a lesson learned.
The one with the really bad weave also had a really bad attitude. She came back to me later and called me a cheap punk for not paying for the drinks. I laughed at her and admonished that she should stop drink pimpin’ since she was obviously a bad drink whore, and that she should at least inform men when they approach her to talk, that the meter is running.
Sadly, the story traveled the nation and eventually came back to me. These nasty drink pimps put my integrity to the question, telling anyone who would listen that I was too cheap to pay for drinks, but they never let anyone know that they were basically whoring their time for drinks and got caught out there.
The moral of the story is that even if you think that it is “traditional,” “old fashioned,” or whatever else, it’s still a good idea to wait until a man offers before you insist that he spend money on you.
I refuse to be a drink trick, and I will always refuse to do business with drink pimps.
It reminds me of an old school song: Still crazy…and still pimpin after all these years.”