mashonda(2011-med-ver-upper)*Mashonda Tifrere, former wife of megaproducer Swizz Beatz, recently shared her advice on co-parenting with her new GlobalGrind Blog, The LifeStyleHer.

The singer was thrust into the public eye a few years back after her abrupt split from Beatz, the father of her child, who left the relationship to be with his current wife, Alicia Keys.

Rule #1 from Mashonda is that “the key to co-parenting is to focus on your children—and your children only. ”

Furthermore, Mashonda believes that there are four things every co-parenting pair should keep in mind. They are as follows:

1) Separating feelings from behavior: It’s okay to be hurt and angry, but your feelings don’t have to dictate your behavior. Instead, let what’s best for your kids—you working cooperatively with the other parent—motivate your actions.

2) Get your feelings out somewhere else: Never vent to your child. Friends, therapists, or even a loving pet can all make good listeners when you need to get negative feelings off your chest. Exercise can also be a healthy outlet for letting off steam.

3) Stay kid-focused: If you feel angry or resentful, try to remember why you need to act with purpose and grace: your child’s best interests are at stake. If your anger feels overwhelming, looking at a photograph of your child may help you calm down.

4) Use your body: Consciously putting your shoulders down, breathing evenly and deeply, and standing erect can keep you distracted from your anger, and can have a relaxing effect.