*The critics have spoken, and it’s pretty bad.
Based on reviews and test screenings from across the country, “Grown Ups 2” is a clear front runner for worst movie of the summer.
The film starring Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and David Spade has received a ton of negative feedback ahead of its release in theaters today.
It earned only 7% positive notices, according to the aggregation site Rotten Tomatoes. That’s a slight improvement from the initial round of reviews for the film, where a rock-bottom 0% of the “Grown Ups 2″ reviews were listed as favorable. At Metacritic, “Grown Ups 2″ received 21 out of a possible 100 points.
Compared to some of the summer’s biggest fails according to critics, “Grown Ups 2″ has been trashed harder than Will Smith’s “After Earth” (11% positive reviews), Bradley Cooper’s “The Hangover Part III” (19%), Johnny Depp’s “The Lone Ranger” (26%) and Vince Vaughn’s “The Internship” (36%).
“This movie is what you’d call family fun,” argues Rock, in full sell mode during interviews for the movie. “It’s for the whole family. Now, who do you have in your family? You have a momma. You have a daddy. You have a sister, you got brothers. You got a cousins. All of them should see the movie.”
“I would say it’s not even just family entertainment, its community entertainment,” he continued. “So tell the butcher, the baker the candlestick maker to go see the movie. I mean is there really a candlestick maker anymore? Is they’re—they are all made in factories right by machines?”
The Huffington Post went so far as to compile the top nine most scathing reviews of “Grown Ups 2”:
1. “Sandler’s first actual sequel, ‘Grown Ups 2,’ is even lazier, dumber, and less funny than usual. It’s worse than most comedy sequels, worse than most Sandler movies, and worse than most food-borne illnesses.” — Eric D. Snider, TWITCH
2. “Believe it or not, ‘Grown Ups 2′ is better than at least one other movie in existence, and that movie is ‘Grown Ups.'” — Katey Rich, CinemaBlend
3. “[Sandler’s] the white Tyler Perry: smart enough to know better, savvy enough to do it anyway, lazy enough not to care.” — Mark Olsen, Los Angeles Times
4. “‘Grown Ups 2’s’ suburban vignettes find room for every lowbrow gag: chocolate-as-poop jokes, Shaquille O’Neal’s clown faces, digs at transgender bodybuilders and the ‘burp snart’ — a burp-sneeze-fart combo given more screen time than any of the female performers.” — Matt Patches, Time Out New York
5. “Among the slackest, laziest, least movie-like movies released by a major studio in the last decade, ‘Grown Ups 2′ is perhaps the closest Hollywood has yet come to making ‘Ow! My Balls!’ seem like a plausible future project. It is all but guaranteed a strong opening weekend.” — Andrew Barker, Variety
6. “The best that can be said for this who-asked-for-it sequel to the 2010 comedy is that Rob Schneider did not return.” — Alfonso Duralde, TheWrap
7. “In its own way, ‘Grown Ups 2′ sets the bar really high. After all, it’s hard to imagine another comedy coming along this year that is this abrasive and free of laughs. It’s like everyone involved intentionally tried to create a horrible movie.” — Randy Cordova, Arizona Republic
8. “You’d think a movie that includes a scene where Taylor Lautner’s crotch is eaten by a giant deer couldn’t be all bad. But you’d be wrong.” — Bilge Ebiri, Vulture
9. “Spoiler alert: The movie ends with Sandler literally farting on Hayek, which must be punishable under some Hollywood bylaw.” — Sara Stewart, New York Post
At least Sandler got to work with Shaq.
Below, the former “Saturday Night Live” actor told us about the day NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal came on set to shoot his role as a cop.
More “Grown Ups 2” bashing below:
Mark Olsen in the Los Angeles Times: “With the slack, lackadaisical effort of ‘Grown Ups 2,’ Sandler has perhaps revealed himself not as a confrere of [Judd] Apatow, who directed him in ‘Funny People’ to a performance both crude and soulful. Rather, he’s the white Tyler Perry: smart enough to know better, savvy enough to do it anyway, lazy enough not to care.”
Matt Patches, Time Out New York: “Put it this way: In the first five minutes, a deer walks into the star’s bedroom and urinates on his face. It’s all downhill from there.”
Claudia Puig in USA Today: “Mystifyingly, the movie manages to emerge plot-free. Instead, it offers a succession of humorless gross-out gags, fat jokes, suggestive posturing, bullying, belches and pratfalls.”
Stephanie Merry, the Washington Post: “‘Grown Ups 2′ isn’t merely mindless. At times it seems to actually drain IQ points from its viewers while wasting a talented cast of ‘Saturday Night Live’ alums, who are all capable of being much smarter and so much funnier.”
Sara Stewart, the New York Post: “Sandler sums it up himself halfway through: ‘We’re irrelevant! We’re losers! We’re old!’ Age isn’t the problem, buddy; nobody is more in touch with his inner obnoxious 6-year-old than you. But two out of three ain’t bad.”