*”She’s a whore.” “She’s awesome.” ”He’s a dog.” “He’s incredible.” ”She’s a home wrecker.” “She’s such a great person.” ”He’s a menace.” ”He’s a disgrace.” “He’s a giver.”
Funny how someone can be on one side of the table one day and the other side of the table, the next. Our society is in the practice of hearing one bit of information from a third party, immediately casting judgment and giving a label to the person in question. Then (and here’s the crazy part to me) we in the same breath go on and on about how we’re misunderstood, wronged and judged. We talk about how people don’t know the whole story about us. We take to the social media airways and further complain by making statements like let the haters hate, or I’m just doing me or, some other statement to let the world know that they have our stories all wrong.
What would it take for us to take just one moment to stop and process before judging and thus turning the tables to be hypocritical? When a man gets caught cheating, why can’t we just remember the time we made a bad choice? When we hear about a woman strung out on drugs, why can’t we somehow recall the time we felt like there was no way out?
I remember when Fantasia admitted to being illiterate at the time, people came out of the woodworks. They called her dumb, country and more hurtful names. I remember when Tiger got caught cheating with quite a few women, people called him a dog, a home wrecker, and more. When Michael Vick was caught fighting dogs, people called him a monster, a thug and more. When Nadya Suleman had eight children, people talked about her ability to mother and raise these children.
Here’s the thing. Fantasia ended up in the hospital having tried to end her own life. All of a sudden, the same people who were judging began having some empathy for the entertainer. Tiger still hasn’t quite recovered. Michael Vick is on his way back. Nadya Suleman has faded to black. But what if. . . just what if. . .Tiger missed his childhood because his father had his thumb on him his entire life, prepping him to become a golf phenom? What if while other boys were having teenaged boy experiences with girls, Tiger was suppressing his desires on the golf course to please his father? What if Michael Vick grew up in a place where dog fighting was acceptable and it didn’t register as a sensitive topic for him? Or, if it did, he rationalized it away. What if Nadya Suleman had a void in her soul so big that having children was her answer given that she couldn’t explain the void?
My point is why we can’t we reach out to our fellow human beings to lift them up in their times of struggle? Why do we have to wait until they have a fall from grace to have any empathy for what people may be going through? Why can’t we take a moment to remember our own fight with various demons, no matter how big or small, in order to assist our brothers and sisters who are on struggle for a variety of reasons.
The labels we dish out so effortlessly are kind of pointless, because on a drop of a dime, they change. The tables turn.
Can we skip the turning of the tables and just opt for compassion, understanding, and assistance? Just thinking out loud.
Monica Cost is a Brand Strategist for Evidently Assured & Chief Advisor for the L.Y.T.E. (the live your truth experience). She is the Author of the new life changing book on living an authentic life called, “The Things I Used to do to Sneeze!: How to live an authentic life with awesome emotional sensations” (found at www.monicacost.com) Email her at: monica@MonicaCost.com. Follow her via Twitter: @monicacost and Facebook.com/monicahairstoncost. www.monicacost.com. Live true!