paula deen (red)*You may see it as rare that a person of Caucasian descent actually finds themselves in need of a black person to um, how shall we say this, save their ass.

But Tim Alloy of TheWrap presents several amusing “what if” scenarios on behalf of embattled, disgraced, and dejected southern chef, Paula Deen.

Regurgitating the PR move that seemed to work on getting rapper Eminem out of homophobic hell (the boy used to spew lyrics about gays without blinking) before he got metaphorically pummeled by the gay community, and in an attempt to save himself boldly clutched fingers with head gay cheerleader Elton John at the 2001 Grammy’s; Alloy presents an interesting array of high profile African American journalists who may be willing to bite the bullet and put their career on the line by bearing witness to the fact that “she’s not racist, or at least nod sympathetically as Deen tears up during a come-to-Jesus interview.”

Paula Deen, Whoopi & Sherri

oprah winfrey & paula deenHere’s some of the potentials chosen by the journalist along with the odds of them willing to accept the gig:

Oprah Winfrey: 4-1. Winfrey’s first because she might seem like a sure thing. She and Deen are (or at least were) friends, but Oprah has said she opted not to get involved as the scandal kicked up. It might be savvy to continue the hands-off approach: Oprah is in Oscar-campaign mode for “Lee Daniels’ The Butler,” and won’t want to mess up her chances by possibly appearing sympathetic to Dean. Then again, this would be great for OWN if Winfrey handled it well. And she probably would.

Robin Roberts: 2-1. Roberts is willing to forgive a lot: She invited Chris Brown back to “Good Morning America” even after he trashed a “Good Morning America” dressing room following an interview. But Roberts is also a no-holds-barred interrogator, which is why Brown was so mad. Roberts may make sense for Deen, because she won’t want to go on “Today” after her messy interview with Matt Lauer. Deen might expect a warmer reception with the NBC show’s arch rival. This is a match made in a cynic’s heaven.

Oh but there’s more! In fact there’s one black celeb in particular that the author thinks would be perfect for saving Paula’s arse. Click over to TheWrap to find out just WHO it is. 🙂