Check out what he has to say about Steeltown’s beloved team:
Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our definitive guide to the upcoming NFL season. This team-by-team preview details why your favorite franchise might have to start looking forward to next year — and highlights at least one reason for you to be hopeful. Today: oh, yinz wanna go dahntawn and see the Steelers be screwed n’at?
Some say the NFL stands for “Not For Long.” You’re good now? Wait a bit — you’ll soon be looking up at the rest of your division. One team that has bucked this trend, especially of late: the Pittsburgh Steelers. The franchise has been a model of consistency ever since Chuck Noll took over, with just three coaches total since 1969. Check this out, from Wikipedia:
In the NFL’s “modern era” (since the AFL-NFL merger in 1970) the Steelers have posted the best record in the league. The franchise has won the most regular season games, the most playoff games (33 playoff wins; the Dallas Cowboys are second with 32), won the most divisional titles (20), has played in the most conference championship games (15), hosted the most conference championship games (11), and is tied with the Dallas Cowboys for the most Super Bowl appearances(8). The Steelers have the best winning percentage (including every expansion team), earned the most All-Pro nominations, and have accumulated the most Super Bowl wins (6) since the modern game started in 1970. Since the merger, the team’s playoff record is 33–19 (.635), which is second best in terms of playoff winning percentage behind the Green Bay Packers’ playoff record of 28–16 (.636), through January 23, 2011.
Holy shit. That’s amazing. They’re literally the best team in the league since the league became a league! Lately, the Steelers have showed their resiliency by bouncing back from .500-or-under seasons to win the division twice in the last decade. Good for them! Now that’s a steady franchise.
But the fun is over, guys. Time to come back down to Earth. You don’t have it this year.
The Steelers are still decent — on paper. The thing about paper is, no one gets hurt, and every pass is thrown perfectly, and the coverage is amazing, and the defense gets to the quarterback every time, and everybody in Heinz Field gets free pierogies after the game and we all go home happy.
Unfortunately Steelers fans there’s more bad news. So man up and click this Sports Grid link and find out what the real deal is so you can be prepared.