Fool for hire right here!

Fool for hire right here!

*Now where in the hell is a fool like this when we need one? We know Fred Segal did more than give this wench a good talkin’ to.

Come ON lady! We know you work off commission – but SOMEbody called and said they work for Nick Cannon. Told you they need a boatload of glitter for his wifey, and you just said, OKaaay?

What’s wrong with this picture folks?

Anyway, according to TMZ, here’s what happened.

A guy who called himself Michael phoned the Santa Monica store and said he worked for Nick, and, being the hubby of Mariah Carey, he needed some jewelry STAT.

Michael asked the woman from Fred Segal to meet him at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood with the goods.  The woman obliged, put the jewelry in a bag and drove to the Hotel.

A guy met the woman at the front door, but it wasn’t Michael … it was a guy claiming to be a security guard and dressed like one.  The guy apparently indicated he would take the goods up to Nick’s room and come down with cash — in order to avoid paying taxes.

Now let’s have some fun with this. (Note: The role of “Fool” will be played by the Fred Segal employee)

Security Guard: (Meets woman in front of hotel and just so you know, a smile is taboo in the world of security. It depreciates your ‘toughness’. So when he greets her, he is very stoic, yet business-like) Hi. Are you from Fred Segal?

Fool: (Spunky, and using her finger to put a loose hair behind her ear) Well yes, I sure am!

Security Guard: Are those the goods…Er, I mean the requested package?

Fool: Sure is. Its right here!

Security Guard: OK good. Good. I’ll take it from here. Mr. Cannon is upstairs. I’ll have to let him examine it, you know, to make sure it meets his expectations. We hope you won’t mind cash. Taxes can be so messy, you know.

Fool: Oh! Of course. And (moves closer to the guard and looks around to see if anyone is listening, then in an almost inaudible whisper says) I don’t usually do this; you know, living in Hollywood and all, we see stars everyday so we’re used to it. But can you ask Mariah Carey, if she’s there of course, to autograph this (loses her composure and fumbles to take a photo of herself from her wallet) for me?

Security Guard: You betcha! Wait right here OK? (Breaking the unspoken code and smiling for the first time) I’ll be right back with the loot, er, cash.

You guessed it.  The woman gave the dude the goods and that was the last she saw of anyone.

The LAPD is on the case.

As for how much the jewelry is worth, let’s put it this way.  You can’t buy a pair of pants at that store for less than $300. 

And we won’t even mention the cost of a belt to hold ’em up.

Vist TMZ to read more.