phaedra & kenya*The drama on “Real Housewives of Atlanta” is non-atop at a blistering pace.

What’s getting the most attention this season so far is “Textgate.” That’s what the mess between Phaedra Parks‘ husband, Apollo Nida and Kenya Moore.

RELATED CONTENT: Apollo Still Hidin’ Stuff from Phaedra; Dude’s Not Giving Up Deets on Kenya!

In fact, it’s what she says is an example of someone breaking the “woman code.”

“As a woman you know better than that,” Parks told Yolanda Sangweni of ESSENCE.com. She also spoke about the state of her marriage, how a Southern belle behaves around other people’s spouses, and why hers is always a drama-free Thanksgiving.

Here are a couple of excerpts:

ESSENCE.com: How are you feeling about the season so far? The tension between you and Apollo on this past week’s episode was so real.
Phaedra Parks: It was very real. We as women know how to conduct ourselves. It is very inappropriate, malicious, backhanded, deceptive and disgusting to be sneaking around and texting someone’s husband and saying, ‘Oh you look cute today’ and all that kind of stuff. We all know that that totally breaks the woman code. And both [Kenya and Apollo] are wrong. Don’t get me wrong, he shouldn’t have responded to her, but you know women are way more slick and vindictive than men any day.

ESSENCE.COM: You talk about this scenario in your book Secrets of the Southern Belle.
Phaedra: [Whips out her book] On page 89 the “Southern Bell Code of Honor” talks about how women should interact with other people’s men, spouses, or whatever. [She reads from the book] When dealing with other peoples men and spouses perception is everything so I always err on the side of caution. If someone’s man is the most beautiful masterpiece of a man I have ever seen I don’t compliment his looks. I might make a remark about his clothing but I know that just as I can see, so can his wife. So I think he looks nice and I’m sure that she thinks he looks nice and I don’t need to let her know that I’m confirming her vision.

Get the rest of this Q&A at ESSENCE.