*Iyanla Vanzant has been getting inside of peoples’ heads for years; and most of the time her ability to delve into a situation, assess it, provide an apt analysis and target key points to work on appear spot on.
Whether she actually “fixes” people’s lives is still questionable, but you have to admit, she talks a good game; gets people to open up to her, they cry and agree with her assessment, its then considered a breakthrough and the show is over. End of story.
But she recently got into some hot water when she took “Iyanla Fix My Life” down south to assist a woman who’d had issues with her sister over a man. In this scenario, Iyanla may have taken her tough love technique too far.
As it turns out, the woman had slept with her sister’s boyfriend when she was a teen. She said she had been coerced into having sex with him. But as the episode dug deeper, and the plot thickened, the coercion part didn’t hold much weight. We learned that the woman had enjoyed gifts from the man, which made sleeping with him a lot easier.
Geneva told Iyanla that her sister, Barbra, didn’t believe that she had been raped by her boyfriend. Iyanla seems to believe that Geneva made a deliberate decision to keep sleeping with the boyfriend, primarily because she wanted to, and then came right out and asked the woman if she had been “hoeing.”
“Did her boyfriend give you money to lay up with him?” The woman then answered “Yes,” which disappointed Iyanla, who yelled, “Y’all were hoeing!”
A little history…
Geneva had her first child at the age of 14 and had two other kids with her sister’s ex-boyfriend. Iyanla believes that the woman should have known better than to accept gifts and sleep with her sister’s boyfrien. She holds her just as accountable as the man. Its not entirely clear when the two started sleeping together, but if Geneva moved in with her sister at age 17, that appears to be the earliest the two could’ve hopped in bed.
In Texas, the age of consent is 17, so if he did not force himself upon the girl, the law believes the girl is in full control of her decisions.
Feminists are angry with Iyanla, accusing her of “slut-shaming” the girl. It’s as if they are saying the woman should not be held accountable; that she had no say in the matter.
Jenee Desmond Harris wrote,
“@IyanlaVanzant, I’m confused about why you called a rape victim a ho.”
What do you think? At age 17, the age of legal consent in Texas, should Geneva be held accountable because she chose to engage in a sexual relationship with her sister’s older boyfriend? On what grounds do you base your opinion?
Watch a clip from the show where Iyanla tells Geneva, “Y’all were hoeing!”: