Singer Mary J. Blige performs on stage during the 20th annual Nobel Peace Prize Concert at the Oslo Spektrum on December 11, 2013 in Oslo, Norway

Singer Mary J. Blige performs on stage during the 20th annual Nobel Peace Prize Concert at the Oslo Spektrum on December 11, 2013 in Oslo, Norway

*When Mary J. Blige recorded her album “My Life” in 1994, she was battling drugs, alcohol, clinical depression and dealing with an abusive relationship.

She’s the first to tell you, she was a mess.

“That album was very dark. I didn’t even want to live,” said the singer, whose album “A Mary Christmas” is in stores. “I wanted to die, but I didn’t want to die. I just wanted to numb myself. I didn’t appreciate life.”

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Putting her pain into such songs as “I’m Goin’ Down,” “Be Happy” and “My Life” led to critical and commercial success, including a Grammy nomination and triple platinum sales. But it did nothing to alleviate her personal turmoil.

“My Life” did, however, allow her to musically purge some inner demons, and make room for healing that would finally come three albums and seven years later.

Listen below.

Below, the video for “Be Happy,” one of five singles released from Mary’s “My Life” album.