*Deshai Cole, the Mouth of the South, as she’s so affectionately called, is the host of a provocative, edgy Atlanta-based radio show all about the things your mama would gasp if she heard.
A ‘sexpert’ and author of “30 Ways to Please Your Man,” Deshai loves sex and enjoys sharing tips with women about pleasing themselves and pleasing their men.
“It’s crazy and sometimes my mom laughs at me but I love sex. I was intrigued by it and I wanted to know more about it. I became a certified sex and relationship coach,” she says.
Her crazy excitement about sexuality and relationships propelled her passion from helping friends to inspiring sexual revivals with men and women all over the country.
Though sex is always a hot topic, she admits it’s not always an easy one to address.
“Believe it or not, as much as we talk about it in the media, people are still afraid of it,” she explains. “I think people pretend they know what they’re doing… but I meet women who are knocking on 40 and have never climaxed.”
She ensures, however, that it’s not just about the big “O,” but also about intimacy, love, care, and communication.
Deshai explains that 70 percent of time within a relationship is spent outside of the bedroom. So communication is key.
It’s a new year. Why not have the greatest sexual relationship with your partner as you can. Try some new things and get the results you’ve been asking for.
The sexpert shares a few tips, which can also be found in her book, “30 Ways to Please Your Man.”
To keep things exciting in the bedroom, she suggests playing a fun game that helps couples communicate and gives the lady a chance to delve a little deeper into his sexual psyche. She calls it “Fantasy in the Hat.” Both lovers jot down some of their secret fantasies and drop them in a hat. When it’s time to play, each lover picks one out of the hat and takes it for a ride.
“This way you get to share together about what you want to do without it being awkward. You get to know what he really likes. It’s a game I like to play.”
As traditional as it sounds, women back in the day used to say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Deshai concurs.
“Sometimes in relationships we get so comfortable, on both ends. As women, sometimes we get comfortable and forget to cater,” she says. “There’s nothing wrong with catering to a man who deserves it. Cook for him and let him know you appreciate him.”
Women love to hear their men tell them how fine they look. But Deshai says sometimes women forget that their men need a little love too.
“I think sometimes women forget. It’s important to let him know he looks good. Tell him you’re proud of him and encourage him. It goes a long way.”
For women that have kids and other hectic responsibilities, she says learn to adjust and make sure the relationship doesn’t get neglected.
“You have to learn your new normal, is what my husband always says,” the radio host reflects. “Before we had children, we would have sex multiple times a day. You just have to make time for each other. How do we make sure we don’t miss out or neglect our relationship? Once a week we go on a date.”
Finally, though beauty is more than just skin deep, who doesn’t want to look good?
Deshai offered a few of her favorite beauty tips that are fun, easy and affordable.
“I love little home remedies and stuff. I love strawberries for my teeth. I love honey baths – a good hot bat with organic honey. It’s something I learned along the way.”
Check out the Deshai Cole show every Tuesday night at 9 p.m. EST at www.saywhatnow.com. Also, follow Deshai @deshaicole on Twitter.