To value someone or something is to consider it to be important or beneficial. It’s whatever you have a high opinion of, and would be willing to pay for.
It’s easy to make high claims about ourselves, about how wonderful we are. But oftentimes our actions and decisions, especially when it comes to relationship choices, suggests something else. It suggests that too often we compromise our big picture goals and dreams for temporary satisfaction. This is fueled by poor decision-making, a low self-image and/or fear, fear of being alone, fear of rejection and more.
So even with all of the claims of being fly, fabulous, fearfully and wonderfully made, why do we choose other people’s comfort and happiness over our own, only to resent it, suffer in silence, or compromise something that we want or need?
When was the last time you said something like, “No, that’s okay. I’m fine” when in your heart you knew you were anything but fine?
Maybe like so many others who tout their value but whose actions sell themselves short, you are living in shame because of past mistakes and decisions, so you feel like maybe you have to settle. Perhaps, if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s seen you at your lowest, you feel like they are as good as you can get because if someone else knew your full truth, they may not want to be with you. If that’s you, I have good news for you:
1. When you stop being ashamed and forgive yourself, you then invite others to come into your world who will accept and celebrate the humanity of YOU.
2. Don’t throw away your experiences, use them. You paid for it so make it count. Don’t live in shame or allow other people to make you feel bad about yourself. The person that is for you will accept the good and the bad.
3. Don’t sell yourself cheap – know your worth. Be very careful not to keep people in your life who don’t respect how you feel or what you have to say. You matter too: mentally, socially, emotionally, financially, and sexually.
4. When you make decisions about your love life and future, think about the big picture.
A. He may be amazingly handsome, but he’s selfish. How do you think that will play out in a marriage?
B. He wines and dines you, but he doesn’t save any money. When it comes to building a life together, that will be a BIG problem.
C. He’s a little jealous and controlling, but you think it’s cute because that means he’s into you. But what about when it stops being cute? It could be dangerous.
Finally, understand that you get to set the price that you are willing to pay. Please do not underestimate your worth, or overpay for an under-priced life. Know this, if you present yourself on the cheap, that’s how much people will value you.
Twitter, Instagram: @DeyaDirect
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