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*Hey, sisters: How does it feel to be hypocrites?
I have another question: How can you justify accusing Kylie Jenner and Miley Cyrus of appropriating black culture?
Have you smacked your nappy little heads on the pavement and forgotten that for decades, you’ve done everything in your power to look like Marsha Brady?
Have you forgotten that Madam CJ Walker amassed a multi-million dollar fortune by creating specialized hair-care products for black women to have long, flowing locks like Jane Fonda?
I often resist the urge to scream when I hear black women complain about others borrowing their “traditions.” In a day and age where Latinos are hired to fry eggrolls at Panda Express, it seems fair to assume that there is no longer a clear line separating one race’s customs from another.
I could use this premise to write some long, drawn out opinion piece about how America is a melting pot that blends cultures from around the world. I could rip into the backwards logic of those who disagree with Kylie Jenner’s decision to enhance the size of her lips and rear-end. I could probably come up with 100 reasons why she isn’t guilty of appropriating black culture. Or instead, I could turn the argument around and accuse black women of appropriating white culture. It would be easy: all I would have to do is compile a list of common practices that black women use to make themselves look more European. The list would include pictures and probably look something like this:
Instead of rocking the nappy roots God gave you, many black women subject their hair and scalp to a chemical substance strong enough to penetrate metal (over the course of time). If sisters weren’t unhappy with their natural appearance, they would sport Afros, Dreadlocks and all that other nappy shit. Instead, many of you choose to get your hair straightened. Seems like cultural appropriation to me.
Sisters, let me give you a word of advice: When you go shopping for contacts, choose a color that doesn’t scream, “I wanna be a white girl!”
Do I really have to explain this one? Tami Roman (photo above), you know better. Skin bleaching is becoming a common practice among women of color (wait…I guess the word “color” no longer applies to this group). There’s no greater example of cultural appropriation.
As if skin bleaching wasn’t enough, now black women are getting rid of their natural curves in order to achieve the coveted “thigh gap.” This trend is spreading like wildfire throughout the entertainment industry. Examples include Beyonce, Rihanna, and Teyana Taylor.
Sisters, many of you spend thousands of dollars on high-end clothing brands created by European fashion designers. But here’s something they don’t tell you: these clothes aren’t made for black people. If you want to avoid being accused of appropriating white culture, I suggest rearranging your wardrobe. Maybe you’ll consider buying a dashiki or Kente cloth (it’ll only cost you $7).
*If dating a white guy isn’t an example of cultural appropriation, what is? Sisters, there’s nothing wrong with getting your swirl on every now and then. But remember: dating a white guy won’t change the color of your skin (that’s what bleaching cream is for).
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blogs: www.coryhaywood.webs.com and corythewriter.blogspot.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood