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Love is in the air! Much like Valentine’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s are pretty important times of the year when it comes to relationships.

For many couples, this time marks the beginning of the next stage of a relationship, which can include meeting the family or even romantic New Year’s Eve proposals. But maybe you’re not this far into a relationship. Let’s say you’re dating but you’re not quite sure where you stand in this person’s life.

Here’s the scenario: You’ve been dating a guy for a little while. You’re still in the “butterflies in the stomach” phase. Everything is going perfect. He’s all that you’ve been looking for. Handsome. Intelligent. Gainfully employed. You seem to be all that he wants too. Then all of a sudden, you stop hearing from him. The daily calls and texts come to a screeching halt. The lunches and dinners out stop. He just disappears. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

As a successful Fly & Fab woman, it’s hard to imagine why any man would choose to exit stage right from a relationship with you. I get it. You’re intelligent, independent, and attractive. You’re definitely a catch! On one hand, society may tell you that you’re “too much” for many men, that your accomplishments and even your looks, may be intimidating.

Listen, I’ve been talking to men and women in my “Man Whisperer” panels throughout the years and I can tell you this:

MANY TIMES, IT’S NOT THAT AT ALL.

Be proud of your accomplishments! Many men look for these qualities in a woman. but your accolades are not what keeps a man happy. One of the most important things is this:

How do you make him FEEL when he’s with you?

Society defines manhood as being macho, hard and able to block emotion at all costs. But being manly is far from this. In relationships, men want to feel good when you’re around. Does he feel complemented by you? Does he feel happy when he’s with you? Does he feel like your presence is a safe space for him to reveal his true self?

I’ve heard this firsthand in my personal (sometimes failed) relationships and from male panelists, friends and colleagues. What turns men on and keeps them interested is having a woman by his side who is easy going, caring, and overall “soft”. And by “soft”, I mean feminine. There’s power in your softness, ladies!

This holiday season, keep it fly & feminine!

Join her Man Whisperer Meet Up on Saturday, January 2, 2016 in Dallas.

Deya Direct, the Fly Life Diva, Go-to-Girlfriend Love & Life-Changer Coach, Speaker & Author produces media and messages that turn problems into purpose!
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