dick gregory (the breakfast club)

*Dick Gregory showed no change in what he was known for as he gave Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club something to laugh about during an appearance on the morning radio show.

Chatting with DJ Envy, Angela Yee and Charlamagne Tha God, Gregory sounded off candidly on various topics that included President Barack Obama and how privileged he thinks white Americans are that he became the first African-American commander-in-chief.

“They get a behaved negro,” Gregory said. “He don’t raise his voice. He ain’t never called them a honkey You understand what I’m saying? Can you imagine how lucky they are.”

Weighing in on presidents is nothing new for Gregory, who ran for president in 1968. If things had gone differently with that election, the 83-year-old author-activist-comedian said his decorum wouldn’t be so polished.

“Had I won, first thing I would do is dig up that Rose Garden and plant me a Watermelon patch,” Gregory confessed. “And it would be no more state dinners, but Watermelon lunches. We’d eat Watermelon and spit the seeds on Pennsylvania Avenue.”

READ RELATED STORY: Dick Gregory to Keynote 4th Annual Comics Rock Convention

When asked about his thoughts on GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, Gregory responded with a dose of realty for Yee.

“What would you do if Donald Trump became president?” Yee asked.

“In America, anything is possible because we don’t run nothing,” Gregory relied.

In addition to Obama and Trump, the entertainer- Civil Rights activist touched on the missing 1.5 million black men and Thurgood Marshall allegedly being a government spy as well as the legacy of famed writer and journalist Alex Haley, who is noted for writing forward to Malcolm X’s autobiography.

To see Gregory’s entire Breakfast Club interview, check out the video below:

Bonus coverage, courtesy of MadameNoire

Here’s a list of some of Gregory’s best “scientificals,” also known as his thoughts about life and his conspiracy theories, from the interview.

  • Dick Gregory’s message to Black people: “Run. I never thought I would see the day when I would pray to God that if I am born over again, I want to be a White man. And I’m super Black. Think about it: All the stuff that has happened to us and when we finally get a Black president, they get a behaved Negro. He don’t raise his voice, he has never called them a honky. Can you imagine how lucky they are?”
  • If Gregory were president, the first thing he would do is dig up the presidential rose garden and plant a watermelon patch instead. Oh, and there would be no more steak dinners, but rather, watermelon lunches.
  • How come Al Sharpton — the most powerful man in Black America — didn’t get invited to meet the Pope?
  • Gregory on Beyoncé’s “cousin’s” lauded booty: “The Catholic Church did not make up the word ‘booty.’ The word ‘booty’ came from pirates. The loot that they take is called ‘the booty.’ Let’s go get some booty. The Black man is the only one who calls his woman ‘The booty.’ Because we are pirates and she ain’t never been free. We the only man in the world that refers to our women, ‘She’s a strong sister.’ But call our car beautiful…”
  • He says 1.5 million Black men are missing and being sold illegally for spare parts on the black market. The reason: They are 10,000 times more valuable than women, which is why women don’t get shot in drive-by shootings.
  • Either that or those missing Black men are on another planet.
  • Alex Haley did not write Roots or The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Some White boy did. Google it.
    It takes 32 White boys to equal one Black man.
  • Gregory wants to know, where do those with albinism go after high school? They’re not in the army, or the navy. They are not in jail or on airplanes either. Heck, there are no funerals held for them. Where exactly do they go?
  • And speaking of things we’ve never seen before, Gregory has never seen a baby pigeon. And now that I think more about it, neither have I…
  • The term “honky” comes from the sound cars driven by White boys used to make outside of whorehouses.
  • Breast milk is poison. Something about women’s body’s allegedly being dirty, and something-something…
  • Bill Cosby was, in fact, going to buy NBC. It’s not a fact, though. Dick Gregory does not deal with facts. Facts are for White people.
  • Gregory does not talk while f**king.
  • A hurricane is the spirit of all the Black women angry about slavery.
  • Howard University was named after a thug punk White boy and Spelman University is named after Laura Spelman Rockefeller. Just in case that ever comes up on Jeopardy…
    “THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE GROUND!!!”
  • Dr. Ben Carson ain’t no damn brain surgeon. He wasn’t even in the room at the time.
  • Michael Jackson was killed at 2 o’clock in the morning with a laser by the CIA. All you have to do is Google it…
  • Ain’t no solutions.
  • Gregory on beauty: “When people say, ain’t no ugly children. Show me an ugly adult and we can trace that back to the crib.”
  • Gregory is not here for a snotty nose punk known as Cedric the Entertainer.
  • The patent number for the cure for AIDS and HIV is 464773. Keep that in your medicine cabinet next the ‘tussin.

And there’s this: according to Playbill, John Legend is co-producing a theater production based on the life of Gregory.