spider, black widow

*When I was a kid, I wanted to have superpowers like the heroes in the comic books I read.

Like Spider-Man. Remember him? I used to daydream of being bit by a spider and swinging all over town, saving the day.  I even used to catch spiders in the hope of finding that. Special. ONE.

After reading about this guy’s encounter with a spider, I realize, frankly, that I was a fucking nut.

A man in Sydney took himself to the hospital recently after having been bit on his penis by a poisonous Australian redneck spider.

Yes.

Yes, Lawd.

On the penis.

How the 21-year-old worker managed to drive HIMSELF to the hospital after all of THAT is anyone’s guess.  If a spider bit Simba (yes, I named him), it would probably put me in an instant coma.

This guy was using a portable toilet at a worksite when the spider chomped on dude’s dick.

I would have shit my pants…which I will literally do before I ever sit down in a port-a-John again.

The redback spider, in case you’re not familiar with his highly venomous ass, is a close relative of the black widow. It is identifiable by a long red stripe on its abdomen.

According to media reports, the man was discharged from the hospital in stable condition.

Read more at EURThisNthat.