*I don’t have a son. But if I did, two things would be certain: the size of his forehead would be massive (like his daddy), and he would be told on a daily basis not to follow the crowd.
I would tell my child to think for himself, to worry about his own actions instead of the actions of others. And most importantly, I would tell him that as a black male, his behavior will be closely monitored and unfairly judged — far more than everyone else.
That’s the world we live in — if you’re black, especially if you’re a black male, the spotlight is always on you. My son, like every black male, would be put under a microscope from the time he’s born to the time he dies.
We (black people) don’t have the luxury of sass mouthing police without it costing our freedom or our lives. We don’t have the luxury of appearing in front of a judge and gaining his sympathy or his mercy. We don’t have the luxury of walking into a clothing store without being watched (or blatantly followed) by the employees. We don’t have the luxury of walking into a bank and being granted a home loan based on the strength of our word and pigmentation. These advantages do not exist for us, or for black women. But let’s not pretend like we don’t know these things already. We know that as long as we live in a white man’s world, we’ll always have to play by his rules (even if they’re unfair). That’s why it bothers me every time I hear someone ask: “White people can get away with murder, why can’t we?” This question is both pointless and extremely simple to answer: White people can bend the rules because they made them. Until this changes, Black people will simply have to play the game.
No, it’s not fair that a White person can verbally abuse a police officer without suffering as much as a slap on the wrist. But does that give us the right to disrespect law enforcement? When your children are punished at school for behaving poorly in class, do you ask them “well, how were the white kids acting?” If most of you were honest with yourselves, then your answer to this question would be no. How often do we tell our children, “don’t worry about what the other kids are doing, do what’s right?’ Or, how many of us has used the old expression, “if your classmates jumped off a bridge, would you?” We use these expressions with our children to teach them the importance of self accountability. We don’t compare their behavior to other children’s behavior. We want our children to make responsible choices, to resist peer pressure and to use common sense when they encounter life’s pitfalls. Black people, are you raising your children to be followers? Do you accept when they rationalize their poor behavior by saying “the other kids were doing it.” If your answer is “no”, then why don’t you hold yourselves to the same standard?
People often ask me, “why are you so critical of black people? White people do the same things we do—and more”. I always respond with the same answer, “I don’t care about what White folk or anyone else is doing. I’m not White. I’m Black. I care about US and our well being. I want US to set an example for everyone else watching. I want US to take control of our own destiny. I want our actions to defy stereotypes and racial boundaries. I want US to stop concerning ourselves with what White people are doing and what they can get away with. We aren’t White—we’ll never be. The odds will always be in their favor. Is that fair? No! But we don’t live in a world that’s fair. We live in a world that’s dominated by perception. Perception ignites wars, it ends friendships, it crushes marriages, it ruins relationships, and for more than 400 years, the power of perception has benefited the white race more than any other racial group in existence. But that’s only because WE (black people) constantly compare ourselves to THEM.
What sense does it make for a black man to sass mouth a police officer and risk being hurt or worse? Why are we (black people) comfortable with relying on the government to provide us with the means to pay our bills and to eat? Why are so many young black girls uploading lewd images of themselves to Facebook and Instagram? Why are we (black people) killing each other instead of building each other up? We are spiraling into a pit or moral and social decadence. What’s the excuse? We can’t rationalize our deplorable behavior by saying “white people do it too”. When we say that, it confines us to their world; it enslaves us to the tyranny of their convictions, it demeans and infantalizes us, it makes us followers not leaders.
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: corythewriter.blogspot.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood
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