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Attention black people! If you’re tired of being an American, then I have some advice for you: GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Seriously, go away, like, now.

I’m tired of you niggas refusing to stand for the national anthem.

I’m tired of seeing pictures of you mutilating the American flag.

I’m tired of hearing you complain about being treated like “second class citizens.”

I’m tired of seeing you niggas marching up and down the streets of your neighborhoods to protest police brutality (while forgetting that other than diabetes and heart disease, the number one cause of black death is black-on-black crime).

I’m tired of hearing you call July 4th “the white man’s holiday,” but you still gleefully light fireworks and barbecue pits as if you’re celebrating.

So pack your bags, round up your illegitimate children, clear your warrants, scrape up some cash, say your goodbyes, and get the fuck out of this country.

I mean it – LEAVE!

You do very little here anyway – rap music, basketball and fried chicken aren’t cogs in the wheel of American progress.

But oops…wait a minute, where will all of you go? Do you even have any viable options?

Well, let’s see…there’s Africa.

Yeah, that’s it, join your black brethren in the motherland (where the natives will secretly despise you for being over-privileged, underachieving layabouts who couldn’t appreciate the benefits of American citizenship).

They would trade places with you ungrateful niggas in a second.

Maybe you could relocate to Iraq where gunshots and explosions can be heard more often than doorbells.

In fact, that may be a perfet enviornment for ya’ll.

Or perhaps you oughta give London a try – I hear it’s very safe these days.

Seriously, find a globe, give it a spin, close your eyes, and choose a destination with your ashy finger.

You can go to Australia, or China, or Germany, or better yet, North FUCKING Korea (where Otto Warbier “mysteriously” fell into a coma – and eventually died – after he spent months in prison for stealing cheap artwork from his hotel room).

Try any one of these countries – because America doesn’t have room for ungrateful people.

Besides, we can use the millions of tax dollars that will be saved by releasing black inmates from prisons, stripping them of their citizenship, and kicking them out.

We’ll save millions by eradicating all the welfare queens and Section 8 dependents across every ghetto in the country.

Many parts of the U.S. might actually be safe again when the streets are emptied of hooligans, law-breakers and wanna-be thugs.

And for the love of God, with less niggas in the country, I would be able to go to a theater and actually HEAR THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Now, I can already guess what niggas will say when they read this story.

“Well, why should we have to go anywhere? Our ancestors built this country from nothing.”

Yes, you’re right.

Roughly 400 years ago, thousands of men, women and children were enslaved and forced into an existence of backbreaking labor and servitude.

That’s how America was born – on the shoulders of slaves. It was the singlemost disgusting period in human history.

But how long will niggas today lean on the accomplishments and suffering of previous generations?

Slavery was abolished more than 100 years ago. Any nigga with the nerve to use slavery as a crutch for anything in 2017 outta be shot and banished from the country.

So, yes, although America wouldn’t be what it is today without the contribution of black slaves, that doesn’t justify the sense of entitlement embedded in black culture.

Really, who do you niggas think you are?  The country owes you nothing, and if you aren’t happy here – GET THE FUCK OUT!

This story/rant was inspired by a tweet delivered by Damon Wayans Jr.

Instead of celebrating America’s day of independence and being thankful for the freedoms this country provides, he foolishly tweeted “ Happy white people proud of their racist ancestors day.”

Naturally, his attempt at comedy fell flat and provoked the ire of numerous citizens who reminded Wayans that countless men and women have died over the years to protect American soil.

But alas, like any ignorant Negro, Wayans refused to apologize for his idiocy and instead tweeted: “A joke some took too personally. So what. Jokes aren’t illegal.”

Boy oh boy…

As a black man, I’m well aware of how inhospitable America can be to minorities, blacks in particular.

Nevertheless, I’m proud (and thankful) to be here. More importantly, where else could I find a better home?

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The Black Hat is written for by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog:, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood