*Here’s a riddle for you.
Q: What’s the difference between Janay Rice and Tina Turner?
A: Tina Turner is/was a real woman who had the courage and common sense to leave her abuser.
Q: What’s black and blue and bruised all over?
A: Janay Rice
As a domestic violence survivor, I feel disgusted by this woman’s mental state. According to The National Coalition against Domestic Violence, “3.2 million women have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner. The stats go on to report that 30.3% of women in the United States have been slapped, pushed, or shoved by an intimate partner in their life time.”
It makes me cringe every time I hear a victim defend her abuser. There is never any justification for domestic violence. Victims often claim “I provoked him or he’s really not that bad.” What a joke. You’re right– he’s not that bad, he’s worse. America is one of the greatest and freest countries in the world. Women have rights that other cultures especially in the Middle East only dream of. Why then do we women allow ourselves to be victimized unnecessarily? The answer comes from lack of a spine and a weak upbringing. I have zero sympathy for any woman who allows abuse to continue. My mother always said “he only does what you allow him to do.”
The Huffington Post (3/08/14) listed twenty countries that don’t outlaw domestic violence including: Egypt, Iran, Pakistan, Syria etc. These women have understandable excuses on why they take violence. There are no laws that protect them. In fact, their government favors the man and disregards the woman. These women are treated as chattel and are seen as the weaker sex. A lot of these women can’t vote, own a business, or go shopping without a male escort.
It is mind boggling that a woman’s rights are taken for granted in America by abuse victims. After all, we have unlimited resources like: shelters, hotlines, the police department, and domestic violence statutes. Use them!
When I was nineteen years of age, I had my first real boyfriend. Being young and inexperienced, I made mistakes. That’s when the abuse began. Please hear these words: It never got better … only worse. First, it started with yelling and derogatory names. Then it progressed to being jumped on and dragged out of cars. Finally, it took him busting his windshield with his fist for me to wake up. At one point in time, I did blame myself and did not want to jeopardize his prospects of becoming a lawyer. But, the “aha” moment came when I decided that I can do badly all by myself. I never needed him. Needless to say, the relationship ended with me filing a restraining order and delivering payback in more ways than one.
Ladies, I get it. You feel as if everyone makes mistakes and is entitled to a second chance. However, please do not let the penis or his paycheck cloud your judgement. The real joke of this sad issue is that women like Janay Rice believe it’s acceptable to be knocked out by their spouse.
In all honesty, she is a poor excuse for women everywhere. It does not matter if the abuse happened only once. That is one too many times. No amount of counseling can fix what’s ingrained in a man’s DNA.
Mr. Rice should have thought about his NFL career and his endorsements before he put his hands on a woman. Additionally, he should have analyzed how his family and his fans might be affected. Victims, ask yourself this question: Are you willing to die for convenience? Death should not be a sacrifice for status.
Janay, you and your husband make it the public’s business when you act ghetto and ignorant in public. Mrs. Rice has no business lashing out at the media. Real women have real spines. Get it together or get lost!
Tiffany Dekine is a guest contributor for EURweb. Contact her via: [email protected]