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Name: McNasty

Comment: On point AC!! I don't understand the question though cause a sistah would have lit that azz up and not be bit more concerned about this woman, her friends or what any of them thought! How do you let a person that's wronged you to such a great degree even end up in your personal space let alone hugging you?! In her shoes the very look on my face would have kept her at arms length and in fear for her life.

Name: dport

Comment: I commend this woman for what she is doing by remaining cordial to the 'other woman' and forgiving her. It shows you she takes what she said before God and what God asks of all of us seriously. Also, this forgiving woman is what they used to call back in the day...a lady. Actualy this lady has won, she still has her husband.

Name: mmww

Comment: I'll never understand dumb %*$ women. So, she can lovingly hug and embrace her husband whom she has forgiven. But the friend who she claims to forgiven get the gas face? Nor do i understand AC's point of insulting the other woman by calling her a ho. The truth of the matter is the ho is the one that cheated on his wife. Ladies, stop being gullible and letting us men get away with murder.

Name: Snicker

Comment: --->mmww i kinda agree with what you are saying....but some women always do that, they will forgive their husband but have a problem with the woman he cheated with when in reality the woman owes you absolutely nothing it's your husband who owes it to you not to cheat on you.....no matter if the woman is your friend or not, it's trifling to do that to a friend but she still doesn't owe you as much as your husband does.

Name: Selah

Comment: Friendship is earned, and not granted to everyone. I'm thinking the husband has earned the right to call his wife a friend. She owes her husband the chance to reconcile but she owes the woman nothing but civility. Don't trip the broad, but help her up if she falls.

Name: cinnamonqueen

Comment: She worked it out w/ her husband because he was her husband and she wanted to. An apology from the woman was given and accepted and she forgave the woman. That is all she owes her. They knew each other before, but they were not best friends, so the woman can now just be an acquaintance, no hugging. she can let her know politely, yet firmly, i have forgiven you, but that's it.

Name: Gemami

Comment: This woman didn't win because she's with her husband (I personally don't see him as a prize) but in the way she has handled the situation. I agree she owes this girl nothing. My jaded mind believes she wants to touch this woman because she still wants contact with the husband. I agree with AC, don't allow this woman into her personal space any longer.

Name: Snicker

Comment: --->Gemami i don't know why some women think they have won just because their lying, cheating husband is still with them.....it really shouldn't be a competition when it's your husband because he shouldn't be with somebody else anyway for you to have to compete for his love.

Name: cinnamonqueen

Comment: seems as if she wants to show she is classy or mature about the situation. but she has the right to act stupid crazy if she had chosen too, cause this was some jacked up ish. she doesn't want to look like some jealous insecure person, but i wouldn't be hiding my feelings to save face. tell the woman to not invade her space like she is doing.

Name: arkansasgirl

Comment: mmww, I don't think she's letting her husband get away with anything. She forgave both of them. But the woman gets the gas face b/c she USED her as a friend to get to her husband. And I hate when people say the husband is more wrong than the woman he cheated on with b/c the woman owes the wife nothing. No. Both are equally wrong especially if the woman knows he's married. Both are committing adultery in God's eyes.

Name: Bertie

Comment: It said the other woman was her friend--so she did owe her the decency not to sleep with her husband. And the wife didn't take a vow to be friends with the other woman "till death do us part"--so she doesn't owe her anything. I don't think she just let her husband get away with cheating--she forgave her husband because she took a vow "for better or worse," and if he's asked for forgiveness and changed his ways--then she did win. But nobody knows what they went thru to get to that place where she could forgive and move forward-so why assume he got off easy.

Name: DOne

Comment: Is this a difference between men and women? It seem to me that you women will often kick the friend to the curve, but forgive the man while we men will kick the women to the curve, but forgive the man. Well, at least it was that way for me. Years back a good friend did that to me. Today we are still boyz.

Name: Snicker

Comment: --->arkansasgirl you're wrong both of them would not be committing adultery unless the friend was married as well otherwise she was just fornicating...DOne i think you are right with most men because men aren't as desperate for a woman as most women are for a man so a woman will definitely forgive a man and stay with him before a man will....not that i'm saying if someone stays with their husband after he cheats is being desperate it's just that some women will let a man do whatever he wants to her but she will stay with him regardless but they will write a woman off for life for any small thing....men seem to be more loyal to their friends then women are.

Name: Simone

Comment: Of course this woman bothers you. And she will always bother you no matter how much you want to forgive her. It's only natural to feel that way when someone has wronged you in what is probably one of the worst ways. You probably still feel a twinge of digust and hate towards your husband too whenever this woman is around. So it doesn't mean she's won, it just means that you are human. And I think this other woman already knows this bothers you and that's why she does it. I mean, come on, who wants to be all chummy and embrace the woman who slept with their husband?! So you need to tell her firmly but respectfully that even though you have forgiven her, it is really inappropriate and you are uncomfortable with her doing that.

Name: todaysgirl

Comment: I dated a guy - my best friend, my soul mate - for 4 years and the same week after he asked me to "be the one" (his words not mine) he had sex with an acquaintance of mine. That same month he met a girl who he ended up becoming engaged to 11 mths later! After about a year and half of no contact he called me to apologize (prior to that I was praying about forgiveness and was able to forgive him.) My friends thought I was crazy but forgiveness was necessary to complete my healing. Due to my line of work I still see him once in a while....(I know his marriage isn't what he thought it would be). We're ALL accountable for our actions. You can't treat people, that are nothing but good to you, like crap and not expect it to come back to you. Girlfriend's need to always hug the forgiving woman is both sickening and insulting. I hope the husband is truly on the right path....I honestly can't imagine having to deal with that kind of betrayal again....I'd rather be single.

Name: coesmo

Comment: Snicker has a good point...the wife hasn't won anything...just because she's still with her cheating husband? that's no prize...he'll cheat again because she's given him the impression that what he did was okay with her...

Name: iamda1

Comment: What is with what SEEMS to be the bitter female coalition on EUR today. 1st, a man cheating does NOT make him a bad husband, father, man, brother or friend. It makes him a flawed human being who made a mistake. If it's habitual... then it's a part of his character and that should be examined. But people crack me up acting like they've never forgiven someone for doing them wrong... or never needed to be forgiven for doing someone else wrong. Lets be real. In God's eyes, whether you had sex with your friends or relatives husband... and whether you had sex with your own fiance` is all EQUAL sin in God's eyes. Now since none of us are flawless, how about looking at yourselves and the first time you make a mistake on something... you are no longer fit or worthy of that title. If your kid catches you lying to your boss, the bill company etc... does that no longer give you the right to teach your kid not to lie? Of course not. The man cheated... she forgave him. How do ya'll know he's not a prize. Based on what... the fact that he cheated. If that's so, then you mean to tell me that men like Dr. King, Dr. Cosby, Bill Clinton etc... are not a "prize" for a woman? Some women choose to never give a man a second chance and that's their decision. But if you want perfection... then you need to be perfection. And not just in one area. if we're going to start holding people accountable for EVERY mistake they make, then the first time you're caught lying you need to be out the door. The first time you steal cable or that grape from the grocery store... be gone. This is how some of ya'll sound.

Name: whynotme

Comment: --->iamda1 by your emotional post i'll take it that you must be one of those women that snicker said will let a man do whatever to them and they'll forgive them because no where in anybody's post did i seem them say he was a bad person because he cheated....if someone cheats they are a cheater just like if someone lies they are a liar, that's not calling him a bad person it's just calling it like it is.

Name: iamda1

Comment: whynotme... actually I was only talking to the people who specifically said they wouldn't consider the wife a winner because it's not like her husband is a prize. The second part (and you can ask McNasty this because we've had a few male/female "debates") but I am 100% black male. Married and never been caught cheating on anyone. So this is also not a bitter response from a guy who got caught and dragged through the mud. It's just an observation who see his boys cheat, get caught and everyone asks like he stopped the sun from shining.

Name: ReginaBio1

Comment: iamda1 must have cheated before...that's the reason for his "emotional post," he didn't say he'd never cheated, he said he'd never been caught cheating. So if you haven't been caught you're still wrong as hell for doing it. Doesn't matter whether you were caught or not!!

Name: amethyst

Comment: Sometimes it is important to consider WHY the person cheated. Was it a period of weakness and bad choices, a rough time in the relationship, or is the person a dog who is a habitual cheater? I have friends (male and female) whose marriages have survived infidelity. It is not easy to put the pieces back together and to rebuild the trust, but it is possible. I understand iamda1's point that cheating alone (or any other wrongdoing) doesn't automatically mean someone is not a prize or is scum. People make bad decisions everyday, and we are weaker in some situations and seasons in our lives. That doesn't mean we can't do better in the future and that we aren't really repentant. Sometimes we can move beyond the damage, and sometimes we can't.

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