Sat, Nov 21, 2009
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Name:
B00TANEB00TUS
Comment: Right on point DJ...but ya left out when a White dude pulls up beside your car in his truck and blasts some hip-hop song and then glances over at you to get your approval...What about when one says "I got more soul than you' or "I sound Blacker than you"
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Name:
McNasty
Comment: So on point Darryl James - I don't do wigger's or wanna be wigger's and will give them a stare that causes their own vernacular to be re realized! All that touchy feely madness stopped with me before it started - smack the first hand that reaches out to touch anything on me and word spreads. We've got too many white folks holding pseudo black cards for black folk still to be so discriminated against.
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Name:
alexander1906
Comment: What about the White people who claims to be color blind and will go as far as to say "I do not see you as a Black Person"
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Name:
ImJustAsking
Comment: Black people are guilty of some of the same things though esp. ones like thinking that a black person with an accent (whether African, caribbean, Alabaman, New Orleanean etc) is ignorant and also thinking that that poor blacks are unsophisticated, and making the comments about people 'waiting for a handout.' If we can't stop blacks from thinking that way whites are never going to listen. At any rate, I avoid these conversations at all costs at work. And, when I'm not at work I'm not around white people therefore I don't have any opportunities to address these issues with them. So, somebody else will have to do it.
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Name:
DCGG
Comment: To avoid stupid shyt like this one must command a certain amount of respect from them mofos...I have never and will never experience any of this shyt...I guess white folks in my office fear me and that works for me...
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Name:
Lolly
Comment: Alexander, do NOT get me started!! ;o) That gets on my nerves, too. Fantastic, Darryl! If I may add, here's something that truly ticks me off to the point of wanting to get physically violent. I have some white azzociates I used to occasionally hang with and all of these women are married to, or seriously dating, Black men. What I noticed was they began to feel that since most of their "friends" were Black, and their husband/boyfriend was Black, that THEY, by azzociation, were also Black. This meant they would occasionally proclaim anything and everyone "ghetto" AND would say 'that n-word this' and 'that n-word that', making me want to throw down. I explained once that this would never be acceptable and I don't like it when Black people use it, let alone someone else. One girl made a point of saying I was "barely Black" myself, so she was "Blacker than" me and had a right to say what she wanted. WTF?!! Since I can't keep my mouth shut for nothing, I told her off and let her have it with both barrels, surprising myself and everyone else there by not cursing, then I left. That was a year ago and I still don't bother hanging with them. Note To whites: You Are Not, And Never Will Be, BLACK! Risking cancer, having fat injected into your butt, your lips, and your breasts is NOT going to suddenly make you look like us or be us, so please do yourself a favor and just stop it. This was a much needed Top 10!
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Name:
Lolly
Comment: @DCGG, having the respect is cool, but it doesn't stop these types of experiences in an office. They will fear you a little, but won't actually stop their stupidity. I had to meet with some of the higher-ups in my office because someone was truly pizzing me off and I was very matter-of-fact, unemotional, as I explained the problem. The head of the company actually looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sure jennifer didn't mean to upset or [doing quote motions with his fingers] 'DISS' you..." WTF?!!! They act as if I need a translator because they are the great white men and I'm the Amb%*$ador of Ebonic-land or something. I can't stand that crap! So having respect and some fear doesn't mean you won't still deal with ignorance. There's a great quote that says, "Never azzume malice when stupidity is reason enough". BTW: in my office of 150+ people, they are trying to "diversify" and now have a whole NINE Black People!! *sarcasm pooling around my feet* Of course, 7 of them are support staff, then there's me and a paralegal, but you can Not convince them that they aren't "sensitive to the needs of minorities" and truly treating us well. Give me a friggin break! This is the same place where a chick made a nasty racial comment to me and I said "Eff This!" and left the building and refused to speak to her the next 2 days. I was then spoken to (in a 'you in trouble' sort of way) and told *I* was making HER feel uncomfortable by not speaking to her and "should seek to make her more comfortable" with me. Explain that.
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Name:
ImJustAsking
Comment: I understand what y’all are saying about commanding respect at work but I would NOT encourage black women to make whites fear them at work. For those black women who are serious about moving up that corporate ladder scaring white pepole is a SUPER BAD idea. We have quite a few black women in my building, most of which have administrative jobs, and whites are scared of them. My supervisor is actually scared of the one other black woman on our staff, who is her secretary. So, of course, my supervisor doesn’t correct her on ANYTHING but please believe she makes mental notes of things. The Sec. is always complaining to me that she wants a promotion but best know she will NOT be getting one here, and if she tries to leave she will not get a good reference. Just b/c someone is scared of you it doesn’t not mean they respect you. The scary black woman approach can get people in major trouble, I have seen it hold many sisters back at this job and at others. Like it or not, we have to worry about how we come off to white folk aka the people who determine our paycheck. This sort of reminds me of how Dave Chappelle was mocking black people’s obsession with respect in his skit “when keeping it real goes wrong.”
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Name:
Papasmurf83
Comment: How many light-skinned people out there have had this happen: Someone white walks up to you, holds their arm against yours and says "Look, I'm darker than you!". Replies I've used in the past are "yeah, but come see me in the Fall","Be careful or you won't be able to catch a cab", "Watch out or you won't get approved for that loan", "yep, and see your hair is starting to kink up too!" I say it in a joking fashion, but they get the point and hopefully they never do that to anyone else again.
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Name:
ImJustAsking
Comment: Like many of you, I read EurWeb when I’m at work. That is why I am disturbed by the easily-mistaken-as-pornographic pictures the web site blackplanet is trying to disguise as “advertisements” that are conspicuously sprawled across every page of Eurweb. If you are like me, you would prefer that your coworkers and/or supervisors do not suspect that you are looking at restricted materials while on the job. If you agree with me, and would like to read EurWeb while still continuing a weekly or biweekly collection of a paycheck, please join me in my campaign to have black planet’s advertisements removed. Click the Feedback button at the top of the page, fill out the necessary information, insert your tirade in the comment box, and direct it to the Eurweb.com staff.
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Name:
MsDee9780
Comment: ImJustAsking....I totally agree with you about the advertisements. The other day, my supervisor walked in my office and was like "oh my"...I knew she was referring to the advertisement with the black couple and the lady is half-naked. I didn't even try to explain because I probably would have thought the same thing if I didn't know better.
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Name:
amethyst
Comment: I'm Just Asking - Sometimes whites fear Blacks because they view us as a threat, not because of anything we've said or done. I'm living this right now for several reasons: 1) I'm doggone good at what I do, I'm smarter than my manager and have more education and credentials; 2) I speak up for myself eloquently and professionally and don't go for the okey-doke; and 3) I don't chit-chat and share my personal business. Some whites have to feel superior to or have control/authority over Blacks. Otherwise they will scheme to make your work environment uncomfortable, block promotions, or make you "go off" so HR has a reason to fire you. Why can't a sista just come to work, do the job, and go home? I remind myself all the time that "No weapon formed against me shall prosper." God has a way of dealing out justice in the right time and way.
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Name:
HHCassius
Comment: One thing I've recently becoming sensitive to is the use of the word "minorities." I don't think I ever want to be categorized as a "minority" ever again. Because I'm not minor. If anything, I'm major because I'm running thangs up in this piece called work. My struggle isn't minor, my contribution isn't minor, and my being is not minor. Sorry, going off on a tangent. Personally, I can't stand when white men in the office get a little too touchy-feely. My wife, who works as a medical biller/coder said there was this doctor who came up behind her and started massaging her shoulders. Hmmmm...I may need to go make a road trip up the street just thinking about it. But getting back to the point, my boss has a tendency to violate a couple of interaction rules, including "bro" and "bubba." Luckily, he's never used that with me. But he may also do that shoulder-rubbing thing. And then there was one time when I forgot to do something and he kind of play-pounded on my head (this was a couple of months ago). I'm still not sure what I think about that. I looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. I think that was lost on him. If it ever happens again, I'll be sure to be clear about my intentions.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: Well first of all our office is almost all black, however we do have a white woman who thinks she's funny by making comments (i.e. Denzel played two bad guys, he played in Training Day and Malcolm X or you are a 23 year old black women at you don't have kids, whats wrong with you) to stir controversy, the older women put her in check but the younger women laugh and say oh that's how she is. They look at her being an older fat white woman with clothing challenges and a-s-sume she's harmless and not worth their ire (cause she's sooooo nice other than an occasional racial slur HA!) I handle those comments by asking her to explain further, then cutting that foolish argument up in polite but firm way. BTW, in my opinion, it's not a point of white folks have a fear of you, they should respect you. Fear and respect to me are two different things. People who are feared, generally are removed because fear can equal a threat factor. As ImJustAsking pointed out, fear is not particularly good and unfortunately many of them have pre-conceived notions from stupid TV programs and whatever other backwards way they get thir information that black women especially have attitudes and all black men are angry, hence the complaint of attitude problems. Sometimes just being yourself will already get the 'black women have attitude/black men are angry' comments without adding anything extra. Naw I am not advocating any please whitey attitudes in the work place, but especially to those who have management positions above your position, I think the better approach to the ignant azz comments is in a manner in which to educate, if they keep it up, respond the same way they would---'I was deeply offended that you thought---fill in the blank',"I was very surprised a seemingly enlighted person thought blah,blah, blah. A guilty white person is worth a lot (LOL I got a major raise way higher than company standard once from a guilty white boss) It's no excuse but a lot of these cranks don't really know better (or don't try to know better,) half of them get their knowlege from TV, movies and rap videos. I always come the approach those who know better do better, so the first time I check you, it should be done, now you know better. If whitey still comes up with dumb ish after you have let them know the what's happening, inappropriate behavior/comments have been checked etc. you know it's delibrate so feel free to act accordingly.
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Name:
Priceless
Comment: CTFU! I liked this ... have experienced this behavior with pankie so many times
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Name:
whatdat
Comment: Barbara Walters does know better. That winkled old ventriloguist is playing a sham game. I am told that she called Monique's children "creatures" and pulled Brandy's hair and asked if it was real. If those things are happening with the moldy old pro, then she has no intention of replacing Star Jones with another Black woman. She is just parading them on her show to make it appear she is trying to find another token. In reality, she is trying to rattle them to prove that none of them belong.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: Second comment, your last line in your column---absolutely true, I used to say that to white folks but they ain't gonna do it. Some claim 'well the magazine says it's for today's black woman' etc. I guess they feel it's some forbidden book that literally means only black people are allowed to read, then again given their history of restricting things to white only they may feel that they should the black label literally...
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Name:
Priceless
Comment: CTFU@play pounded on yo head .... sorry but that shat was funny
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Name:
ImJustAsking
Comment: Amythest< I wholeheartedly agree that at times black people are targeted for having an attitude when we are just carrying ourselves strong and proud the way our heritage demands. But I have seen too much eye rolling, sighing, and attitudinal emails from black women to think that that type of behavior is ‘rare’ especially among those who are doing administrative work. Whites are not the only ones who will transpire on the job to make you uncomfortable and block promotions etc, blacks do it to other blacks such is the cutthroat nature of the corporate world. My point is that regardless of who is in the position of power, white or black, you cannot nurture the notion that you should be someone who is feared…unless of course you actually have some real hiring/firing power. All of us wear the ‘mask’ at work, and some pretty interesting articles have been written regarding the black woman’s mask. At this point, I consider it part of the job. And you are sooo right that the best thing for us to do is not chit chat or share personal business. Whites have a tendency to want to know and share everything, and we tend to be smart enough to know that it could be used against us later. Also whites have weird issues with personal space hence the ‘play pounding on the head’ and “hair touching” I mean whites will go up to someone they NEVER met and rub their stomach if their pregnant. Black people definitely have much more respect for the space of others.
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Name:
ATLGirl
Comment: Wait! I pat women on the stomach. But seriously, white folks may have boundary issues, but so do Blacks. I went from relaxed hair to natural hair back to relaxed hair. White folks NEVER touched my natural hair without asking. Ni66as constantly touched my head without asking and got an attitude when I informed them I didn't like being petted like a dog. Then they'd say some stupid stuff about not know what natural hair feels like. *rolls eyes*
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Name:
ImJustAsking
Comment: transpire, great, I meant to say CONSPIRE.
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Name:
cinnamonqueen
Comment: Great article DJ I was LMAO at the article and at these comments. Folks be crazy Fa real! The things people do.
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Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: Yes, yes, some key additions to the list are in here fa sho! Bootane—we see it all the time and typically, the white boy is blasting some bull-ish, thinking that he is cool. And, Alexander1906 (Is that "1906" for the Phrist Pham?), the whole discussion of them not seeing one or some selected few of us is the same as saying "You’re not a %*$!(@," which in essence, means, "I hate Niggers, but I’m giving you a pass." HHCassius, at the risk of losing your job, that boss should have been pounded right back, or at the very least told to keep his hands to himself. And, Lolly, I think it should be a law that when one of us marries one of them, we must inform the white spouse that THEY ARE STILL WHITE!! No so-called "ghetto passes" based on having sex with a Black person. Finally, Papasmurf83, the next time one of them compares their cooked skin to your natural skin color, ask them to snap their fingers to the beat without missing. Lol.
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Name:
jboy
Comment: Interesting observation: I've lived in the south all but 5 years of my life - lived up north for only 5. Southern whites BY FAR are more "us"-friendly than northern whites. But then, northern whites treated each other pretty shabbily too (never knew the real meaning of corporate backstabbing tilll I crossed the Mason-Dixon line). One more: Not even the northern WHITES were as patronizing to me as the norther blacks ("Uh...bruh, you shouldn't say 'Dee-Troit' it's D'troit. Don't say dawg - it's dahg and bahll not bawl (ball). Uh...even if you all DID used to eat chitterlings (It's pronounced CHITTLINS you uppity...)where you came from, you shouldn't EVER admit to it on the job...especially not in front of one of 'them'). I know that some will say that they were just trying to look out for me, but a pat on the head is patronizing whether the hand is white or black.
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Name:
Lolly
Comment: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ask them to snap their fingers to the beat without missing. LOL!!!!!! I'm going to sashay right up the hall and say that to the one chick who constantly compares her "sistah booty" to mine and her fake tan to my natural. dang, you got me laughing too hard over here. :o)
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Name:
Lolly
Comment: ImJust, I just sent feedback letting them know the porno is horrid. Now, if blackplanet has now become a site for prostitutes, then that ad is appropriate. lol! BTW: what does "CTFU" mean?
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Name:
whatdat
Comment: Jboy, Black people that do that do it because they think the way you speak is bad, broken, or slang English. In addition, others think it shows a lack of intelligence. We have been so brainwashed in this regard. They are absolutely wrong. Aint nothin wrong with our language. More than that it is powerful and wonderful. You might want to code switch while at work, but do not let Black self-ignorance stop you from talkin in the beautiful way that you speak.
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Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: Jboy, noted Black journalist Tony Brown outlined the fact that Black people are "bi-dialectal," which means that most of us speak our natural rhythmic manner, which best expresses our manner of thinking, yet many of us are also able to speak the most socially "acceptable" form of English. I am with whatdat in that you have to speak the code at work, but if the uppity Negroes are suggesting that you speak that with them as well, you may want to shake dem fools.
As for some of our so-called "broken English," southern whites are more amenable to it because they know it comes from their azzes—just listen to them—ain’t, naw, etc.
And, Lolly, here’s another snappy comeback to stupid questions: Just stare at the white woman in the middle of her booty comparison and shake your head while saying in a sorrowful manner: "That’s just sad."
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: Great article and comments! I'm sorry I missed out on this discussion. But I'm adding my 2 cents anyway. When I was in the corporate jungle, white people were obsessed with my hair. I wore it relaxed, and I would be curly one day, straight the next, and wavy the next. They couldn't understand it. One day, it was in the early 1990's, when I was in the bathroom this white woman asked me how I could get my hair to do so many things. Mind you, this was the same silly white woman who asked me the same question every time I changed my hair. I was running out of patience. I simply told her "It's a black thing. You wouldn't understand." She never asked me about my hair again. One day I wore Shirley Temple curls to work. A white man said, "Your hair looks so pretty. Can I touch it?" I looked at him like he had two heads. I said, "I don't know where your hands have been!!" The look on his face was priceless. Another incident really burned me up. I always dressed professionally and fashionably at work. I know how to shop and put outfits together, so I always looked nice. One day in the break room, the CEO's secretary (who by the way was named Norma Jean or Betty Sue or something like that and was two steps away from the trailer park) told me "You have such nice clothes. You must have a sugar daddy." I stood stock still and looked her straight in the eyes and said in a WAAAYYY to calm voice, "I go to work everyday just like you do. Don't you think I should be able to by myself nice things if I want to?" She avoided me for two days afterward. I could go on, but... you get the point.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >Lolly, CTFU = Cracking the "f" up.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: Dang! That's what I get for trying to type late at night and without my glasses. Correction: I stood stock still and looked her straight in the eye and said in a WAAAYYY too calm voice, "I go to work everyday just like you do. Don't you think I should be able to buy myself nice things if I want to?"
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Name:
jboy
Comment: Thanks to all that chimed in on my comments; all were insightful. Just want to clarify that I do NOT, nor have I EVER spoken so-called ebonics (not dat there's anything WRONG with dat). I can make the subject agree with the verb in every sentence, I don't say 'froo' in place of few, and my diction is on par with anybody's. The problem that the UPPITIES had with me is that I was born and raised in the South and my accent and drawl reflect that. The whites didn't seem to mind (or even notice), but the Blacks...They came from all over, but seemed to have this accent-less, polished way of speaking (all I can liken it to is the way all Black news casters seem to have the same voice no matter which city you're in). Since I chose NOT to "polish" my voice I was looked at by the uppities as being a bit less sophisticated (and I suspect a bit of an embarrassment if you catch my drift).
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Name:
jboy
Comment: One more thing and then I'm done. DANG...I feel like a hypocrite for this, but I am compelled to come clean. I am now back in Alabama, where I belong. There's this brother that works in my office and he comes from Memphis. Now, if you've ever heard anyone from Memphis talk you would know that even by Southern standards their drawl is a bit, shall we say, 'bottomland'. Whenever this brother says 'with', to me it's like someone just raked a rusty nail across an old blackboard. He doesn't say WITH -- he doesn't even say 'wif', he says wiff (the F seems to hiss on FOREVER). As in my case up north, the whites never seem to even notice, but it drives me up the wall. Oh well, maybe I have a grain of uppity Negro in me also.
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Name:
PDOG
Comment: Darryl's top ten was cool in that it brought some things to light that some white people do that are aggravating without vilifying every white person out there.
Some of these posts are so ridiculously racist as to be absurd. Exchange any of the biased comments or stereotypes propagated here (I don't do 'wiggers', white people can't snap to the beat, etc.) for a black slur/stereotype and Al Sharpton would shut down this site.
For instance, in Lolly's post, exchange the white hating verbage for black hating and it reads like this: "Note to blacks: You Are Not, And Never Will Be, WHITE! Spending hundreds of dollars a month Straightening your hair, getting nose jobs to slim your noses, using skin lightening creams and keeping out of the sun because you don't want to get darker is NOT going to suddenly make you look like us or be us, so please do yourself a favor and stop it." That sounds like a posting from a KKK site, but because it's derogatory against white people it's somehow okay with most of us.
jboy subscribes to an 'us vs. them' mentality when he says "When one of us marries one of them think it should be a law that when one of us marries one of them, we must inform the white spouse that THEY ARE STILL WHITE!!..." (it's apparently important to keep white people in their place) but let a white person say something about 'you people' and it's considered a civil rights violation. This seperatist attitude sometimes (FUBU For Us By Us/BET) and 'how dare you see us as a different group' sometimes is confusing to white people.
And BOOTANEBOOTUS, come on now. Some white people have more 'soul' than some black people. Teena Marie versus Al Roker? Not even close.
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