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Name: McNasty

Comment: Good damn grief! Once you sleep with them after knowing them for only a minute all the mystery is gone and you've been tagged as easy. He would have been more receptive had she kept her drawers on - regardless of the fact that he initiated the sex. She could have said no - this is what I mean when I say that women have given up their power - all for the sake of having a man, any man in their lives. She showed herself to be a cheap trick and I bet he will continue to avoid her phone calls when he comes back from his 'business' trip.

Name: shala

Comment: I wonder if the women who ask these questions ever read this column? They are the same questions over and over again. I fukked him after our first date...will he call me? I fukked him although I knew he had a girl...will he call me? Enough already!!!

Name: 4462DG

Comment: PHEW!!!! Some of us women are giving up the cookie too damn soon!!! She got off easy, believe it or not. A couple of months ago a woman was on the news with a similar situation but after her dumb butt gave up the cookie, she took him somewhere in her vehicle and he pulled a gun on her and took it from her!!!! This foolish woman was on the news showing her face and everything!!

Name: CILLA8192

Comment: I think AC gave great advice here and shala is also right do these women even read this column because it is the same question. I'm saying show yourself some respect and keep it tight and you'll get respect in return. STOP giving it up so quick you will not find a husband or a respectable man like that. He got what he wanted on the second date of course he is too busy for you now duh.

Name: romalynda

Comment: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to thee! She played herself fukking too soon and she's playin herself even more by continuing to try to make something out of nothing. He got what he wanted, he has no more use for her.

Name: MzTee

Comment: Thank you AC. Your advice was SOOOOOOOOO on point. I just hope old girl takes notes.

Name: MzTee

Comment: Shala your comments were too funny. I think one of the reasons some women continue to delude themselves that something can possibly come from a one-night stand is they fall for the okey doke that they see in movies and read in books. How many Lifetime movies have come on TV where the man and woman fall in bed after going out on one date and fall madly in love with one another. And let's jump to books...most of all of today's black books have folks falling in and out of bed so quickly it will make your head hurt. Mind you this is fantasy, but the movie, tv, and publishing industries wouldn't be billionaire industries if people didn't fall for that SHYT. Hell, a couple of my girls fell for the same madness and I told them both -- this ain't "Love Jones." That SHYT was a movie, this is real life and men don't think a woman who drops the drawers after a few dates is wifey material...on the real. The double-standard is alive and well.

Name: MzTee

Comment: meant to write 'billion dollar industries'

Name: CILLA8192

Comment: MzTee: Good point that does have a lot to do with it. But damn these are grown azz women they need to learn the difference between fantasy and real world. This chick was just played and now feels stupid. I think maybe she thought because they had a internet relationship that she knew enough about him that even though it was the 2nd date it probably more like she knew him in her mind, where as far as he was concerned it was a quick piece. I also wonder maybe this man has a woman already cause it seemed like they never really spoke on the phone and only really communicated while he was at work. HMMMMMM.

Name: mrseoliver

Comment: AMEN A.C!! Believe it or not men don't respect women that "give it up fast" A man is not going to have a real relationship with a women who FUXX them after only two minutes of knowing them. That's why a alot of men don't respect women.... because we have to respect ourselves first & know our "value" as women.

Name: MzTee

Comment: Thanks CILLA...and you're right as well. Folks do need to learn how to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Unfortunately, many folks don't learn this skill and I think the woman who wrote into AC falls in this camp. She honestly thought they had something special and because it's HER in this situation, she can't understand why old boy isn't communicating with her. There are so many women who think they are SPECIAL enough to reform a playa; get a man to leave his wife; or become the love of someone's life after a one night stand, etc. that the ISHT has gotten out of hand. Some folks really think they have the power to change the behavior of other folks. One of my girls actually thought she could 'train' her soon-to-be ex-husband to act a certain way. I told her that statement was 1) crass and 2) stupid. I told her that you 'train' animals NOT people. I also asked her how she would feel if she found out her husband had a similar type of conversation with one of his boys. My girl got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. When I hear statements like that, I realize folks are lunching. This woman is no different than my friend and the countless other women who allow their EGOs to get in the way of their common sense.

Name: sgrantla

Comment: Hold off the sex for awhile...if you're looking for relationship. Find out what each other want first then decide if jumping in bed is do-able now or later....that day (joking). We all learn....eventually. 12 hour date sounds like the kind of date I would have. I would leave the karaoke shiit out though.

Name: goodnplenty1957

Comment: as a man...all i can say is HE was just after SEX..nothing else. in my life i have met women and had sex on the FIRST date, but you can bet there was 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc, dates afterwards. i am 49 now..i know what i want. its more to a lady than just sex. i go with my gut intuition when i meet someone and my gut has been right 98% of the time. if it happens it happens. but we men AND women need to be honest upfront if its really just about sex or something more.

Name: sclady

Comment: goodnplenty>>I think u hit the nail on the head. I don't think it was about her giving it up to early (although I don't think that's a good idea)..from day 1 all he wanted from her was sex. From what she wrote, he already had time to figure out rather he wanted anything more with her. I ain't never heard of a man you know, not a stranger, not comming back for seconds. They'll normally continue the lie just for that purpose...he probaly has someone.

Name: Kofi

Comment: Ladies, please take note. The issue is not really when do you have sex with a man or if you have sex too soon he won't marry you or have a serious relationship. If you are not intimate in the first few dates, when would be a good time? Is it the 5th date or the 15th? The fact is if you are attracted to a person, more than likely you will become intimate fairly soon. When a man is dating on the internet, he may be dating several women at once. If he drops contact it may have nothing to do with you. It may be more related to the fact he found someone he liked better. Women do this as well. The issue is to get to know the man before becoming intimate. In order to know him, you must observe him in many different situations. How does he respond to friends when you are around? How does he act in front of family? In order to know someones character you have to be around them. All of this would preclude being intimate on the first few dates. Women should be clear about the type of relationship they are seeking. Most women say they want a casual relationship. Casual tends to mean very different things to both men and women. Casual for a man means no strings attached sexual relationship. For women it tends to mean seeing each other with the possibility of becoming serious. Through observation, people will tell you who they truly are. As women you have to believe them. (not what you want to believe)

Name: MzTee

Comment: goodnplenty57 and Kofi bring up very good points, but let's NOT act brand new and discount the power of the double-standard. I have a lot of male friends and they have told me too many times to count that even if they were feeling a particular woman in a romantic sense, if she gave it up too quickly they assumed correctly or incorrectly that she did that with everyone and that was her standard MO. So they either stopped seeing the woman or that woman immediately became a jump-off and was no longer considered relationship material. Of course NOT all men do this, but a lot of men do. It would be wonderful if everyone were mature and honest about what they wanted in the beginning of a relationship before becoming intimate, but many of us aren't. And that's why AC will continue to field these type of letters.

Name: EVILME

Comment: YOU DUMB BITHX. WTF WERE U THINKING ABOUT? WHY ASK WHY WHEN U REALLY KNOW! GET A LIFE ALREADY! NEXT!

Name: bigheadbull2

Comment: Hope they used a condom after all on the internet you can be whoever you want to be.

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