Sun, Nov 22, 2009
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Name:
prettieyez
Comment: Po Terrance he could've asked me out.. JLo & Kim drama a mess. But I have to agree with JLo.
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Name:
fuzzygoss
Comment: Terrence: looks sweeter than Nana's puddin on that Essence cover. He's highly suspect! Terrence looks bipolar, some kind of crazy. I don't think he's just acting "off" He probably talks to himself.
>>>>JLo wasn't interested in having babies with Puff. She wanted the publicity, and so did Puff. They were two of the most attention-starved nit-wits in hollyweird. >>>Then JLo thought she found her "great white hope" to validate her until she was ReJECTED by Ben's mother. His mother couldn't stand her as$ and wasn't about to accept her minority as.s. into their redneck family. >>>JLo is too self absorbed to cultivate a relationship with someone else's children. >>>But, JLO got ambition, Kim needs to take note and stop getting knocked up having babies!
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Name:
TinayPretty
Comment: Terrance is an amazing actor and I luv to watch all his films. Pretty confused about his marriage/ non marriage issues....
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Name:
born2sing65
Comment: Prettieyez, Terrence could have asked me out too!
I think that Kim needs to move on. Still sounds like she's a tad salty.
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Name:
HarrisThomas
Comment: but did he have his trademarkd tears in his eyes during the interview
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Name:
NYCsoul
Comment: This is confusing. First he talks about trying to get his wife back yet he talks about 'hollering' at other women. It's no wonder his marriage is in the shape it's in. Very talented actor but he seems to be very immature.
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Name:
andryce76
Comment: okay he will use this to justify his white woman preference. see look the black woman turned me down. look terrence who cares we already know what race you wan't when it comes to the ladies it's alright to each his own.
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Name:
SeriousBrother69
Comment: No one is above being rejected... Beside, Terrance has a reputation in the industry for being a mess. That may have something to do with those women choosing not to entertain his efforts.
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Name:
star
Comment: I agree with Jennifer, why talk about the past. Diddy and Kim can say whatever they want to negatively about Jennifer, but we all know that Diddy had J-Lo on a pedestal, a pedestal that he still doesn't put the mother of his kids on. So sad, so true. As far as Terrence, shut up! I always saw his potential from the jump, thing was he didn't see his potential, I even remember reading here on EUR, years ago that he was leaving the acting profession. If he loves his wife that's great, but don't think because you were dissed by Halle and Gaby that all black women were rejecting you. Some black men kill me with this!
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: I am so SICK of Kim P's petty, b****y @$$!!! She has 3 KIDS with this fool, yet he has yet to 'be ready' to marry her and she's acting like Diddy is on lock. For her to dog Lopez out over a relationship that was over years ago is tacky and tired.....did she ever step to Diddy fly like this, or just open her arms (and legs) and welcome him back home??? Until she is officially Mrs. Combs, she is no better than Jennifer----who at least had her own game established before marrying her man----and needs to STFU!!!
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Name:
PEACHES4U
Comment: Terrence's past actions and statement reminds me of one of my brother's who was very much in love with his wife, but she wanted out of the marriage [and for many reasons]. He was not willing to accepted the fact that 'it' was over. So, he refused to sign 'the papers,' and was trying to get busy on the side. As to the statements made by Kim Porter, she needs to step back into reality. Sean is selfish, and a I fall back on a term used by our Elders: 'mannish.' He wants what he wants when he wants it, and 'you' [meaning Kim] can take it or leave it. Kim chose, and continues to 'take it.' It makes no sense for her to make sarcastic remarks towards Jennifer Lopez. If Sean didn't want Jennifer in his life she would not have been there. 'WHY BUY THE COW WHEN THE MILK IS FREE!' Kim Porter is educated, and has been in business for herself. She knows exactly ALL the ways of Sean 'Puffy, Diddy, [etcetera] Combs. Where was all her 'lip,' and defensive actions when Al backed off child support, and fatherly responsibilities???? Jennifer knew when to depart the 'premises' [after a very extreme situation]. Kim's present options look good to some because she has, now, three children by Sean which may equate to a specific percentage of his income. The 'smart' woman would have 'socked it to him' via marriage and look forward to 1/2 to 3/4 of the income!!!!!!!
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Name:
DCGG
Comment: Terrence Howard puhleaze they turned your bytch azz down cause well yousa bytch...and why in the fuvk is Essence interviewing Kim Porter's stoopid, petty %*$ any mofo way - da fuvk is her claim to fame other than Diddy's personal cum dumpster...
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Name:
Joii
Comment: Kim Porter sounds like a stupid insecure b*^ch!!! Get over it! Why are you even talking about J-Lo! Regardless of what his relationship was with J-Lo...the point is...you (Kim) obviously have not got over it! News flash Kim...SHUT UP AND KEEP PLAYING UR ROLE!!!!! STOP WORRYING ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN AND FOCUS ON URSELF AND UR BABIES!
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Name:
dcdouglass01
Comment: I think T. Howard is a very talented actor. What his personal demons might be, if any, I have no idea. But hopefully the brother can continue onward and upward in his career. As far as getting with a cute woman, he can handle that by simply pop locking and dropping into any local club (night club, sckrip club, hip hop club...). As far as J. Lo goes, I've always liked her. She seems to have a sweetness about her that always shines through. Oh and Peaches, thanks for cluing use in as to why marriage has been on the downslide for the last decade or so ("The 'smart' woman would have 'socked it to him' via marriage and look forward to 1/2 to 3/4 of the income!!!!!!!").
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: This is the classic story of the black woman. A regular, hard-working, talented brother still seeking success tries to go at a pretty and successful woman and gets shot down for one reason or another.
Said brother goes on to fame and fortune, including acting's most coveted award, and then the black women begin flocking to him.
Only now it's too late because the only woman who would give him the time of day was a non-black woman, and the now-successful actor decided to stay with her regardless of race because she was the only one who treated him like a real man in the first place.
Then the black women get salty and call the succesful actor a sell out because he's not with a black woman when they're actually the real reason why he's not with a black woman.
Sisters, support your brothers, we need you!
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny, I LOVE black men. We sisters DO support brothers for the most part. We are just tired of brothers trying to "get over" on us and take us for granted. Then when a non-sister is in a brothers face, they treat the non-sister much better than they treat us. Like they are trophys, something to be desired, as if we are not. Now, onto J-LO... Marc Anthony has J-Lo on LOCK DOWN which is probably why she didn't comment. She knows she wanted too! He would have "cut her" when she got home if he knew she was still talking about Puffy/Kim in the media.
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Admittedly, I'm not up on everything entertainment. But, is Terrance's estranged wife yt...or...Has he said that he's switching over to date non-black women or some'n? As for Kim/Diddy..leave them damn folks alone. Apparently it's working for them and Jennifer should've done exactly what she did...STFU!
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: PEACHES4U is ON IT!!! You get no real respect until you are the MRS, that's just the way it is; almost any chickenhead can have a baby for somebody, but the woman he makes a legal commitment to is the 'winner,' no matter how many insults you hurl. I remember that one of my man's exes, who had left him but learned he was with me and suddenly claimed to be pregnant,was talking salty about me, calling me all kinds of b's, etc, trying to blow up his phone, but he set her straight ater learning it was all a hoax, shut her down and we were married before the end of the year, so who really looks like a fool??? Jennifer handles this with grace and Kim needs to get some class and a clue. Trifling!!!
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Kitty I respect what you said. But how was Terrance trying to "get over"? By hollering at a beautiful black woman? I've noticed during my time that often good looking black women will get annoyed and an attitude if a normal brother tries to holla, but then they'll will get equally if not even more annoyed when, after getting shot down, the brother tries his luck with, say, Becky.
Of course me personally I stayed on track and found a beautiful black woman who is loves me unconditionally, but I can understand how a brother could get so frustrated that he just wouldn't want to deal with sisters anymore. You sisters need to lighten up, because if you don't, for many of us dudes that's when you go from "sister" to "biatch" in a heartbeat.
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: BKit...treating non-sisters like Trophys really is the greatest myth ever told. Actually, it's just a big azzed lie. Trust me it is. Ya'll need to stop perpetuating that...lol
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Name:
Angel
Comment: Ummm Kim Porter...I think J-LO dumped Diddy. Didn't he try to get her back by flying Luther and an orchestra to whereever J-Lo was to serenade her?!? Note to Kim....you are the fall back girl. When Diddy can't get the girl he REALLY wants, he comes back home with his tail between his legs to you....because he knows he can. But hey, being the Diddy's fall back girl pays well, so I can't hate on her hustle.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Thunny, many black men are so filled with ego and entitlement that they can't handle rejection and take it out on the whole race (i.e, Dennis Rodman). They think that life should be a crystal stair and that they shouldn't have to earn the respect and recognition of a sister, so the moment they get any static, they call us 'difficult' or 'attitudinal' and run to other races. If sisters need to 'lighten up,' then the brothers need to 'get real' and step to the table with more than the bare minimum---you have to pay the cost to be the boss in this life, and too many brothers expect both a discount and full benefits. Adults don't love unconditionally---you have to treat someone the way you want to be treated. And before you dismiss me as bitter, I'm happily married to a Black man. Expecting the best and having standards seems to be alright for the black man, but for black women, it's giving brothers 'a hard time.'
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Name:
2ndChance
Comment: The Essence article with Diddy and Kim had to have been the worst to date. Kim just came off as a complete idiot. JLO has clearly moved on. LOL Hasn't she had 2 husbands + one fiance since then (chris, ben & mark).
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Name:
RealSmiles
Comment: I don't blame J-Lo one bit for not going there about Kim's comments for several reasons: 1)Marc Anthony-she's married to him and I honestly believe he's controlling behind the scenes 2)The relation with Diddy ended years ago, and even when it did end, Diddy was the one distraught. What's a bit disturbing is the fact that Diddy won't even commit to settling down with Kim but has three children by her plus had been with other during their on and off again relationship. As for Terrance not being able to hook Halle and Gabie, well, every woman isn't for every man and they just happened to be the two that wasn't for him, big deal *rolling eyes*.
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Name:
dcdouglass01
Comment: musbherbs, I agree the Brothers-treating-non-Black-women-as-trophy-wives thing is indeed a myth, because you're not going to see many brothers pimping into say, a First Fridays with their white wife proudly on their arm. Indeed, you're more likely to see him with a trophy sister on his arm (if he has one) than a trophy yt (unless of course you're Ice-T).
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Name:
2ndChance
Comment: a white woman can have terrence's behind. i don't know why people feel the need to justify who or what they choose to be with.
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Name:
ATLGirl
Comment: musbdherbs---> "greatest myth ever told"? I am a reasonable Black woman. If love finds its way to you and it comes in the package of another race, more power to you. But, I don't think this is a myth, in all sincerity explain how this not true. I feel like I see it all the time. Even in this article, Puff and JLO. We all know the VERY PUBLIC fawning and crying he did over her.
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Name:
OSUN
Comment: Thunny as much as it pains me to agree with YOU your statement is often true.
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Name:
OSUN
Comment: dcdouglass is Camel Toe Coco a trophy?
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Name:
CoCoCaramel
Comment: I am definately no fan of J-Lo's but she did the right thing by keeping her mouth shut, she has definately moved on and is not thinking about Doody at all, so why is Kim still harping on something that has been over years ago, is she upset because she knows that Doody would have married Jennifer in a heartbeat, something that she can't get him to do with her...hmmmm...at least J.Lo strives to be a wife instead of a baby momma and soulwriter I totally agree with you, everyone knows that you don't get the respect until you are the Mrs. my husband has two baby mommas that he had long term relationships with and they hate me cause he married me and not them, so Kim is just eating on sour grapes cause she knows that J.Lo came thisclose to being Mrs. Combs and she's (Kim) is still just the baby momma...
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Name:
OSUN
Comment: As a small defense of Kim, I think she mentioned JLO b/c the author of the article asked her the question. Maybe she should have said no comment, but I am sure she didn't just offer up that info.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny: I didn't say Terrence was trying to get over. I meant that brothers often try to get over on sisters, be it by: cheating, not pulling his weight in the relationship financially or emotionally, not being a strong man for his woman mentally (when the going gets tough, a lot of y’all get going), not being a friend to her, etc. We truly want to be able to "look up to" our black men but often, brothers continue to act like little boys (hence the movie “Baby Boy” I am sure) and we are not able to look up to you as the Warriors you truly are. As for Terrence Howard, both his parents are of mixed heritage (half white & half black). I don’t think we can fault him too much for “going to the other side.” It is in his blood.
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Name:
moonbeams
Comment: Soulwriter I could not agree with you more. Kim Porter has no ground to say anything about anyone considering she has been hanging around for 13 years and has had three kids by this man who STILL has not married her. She sounds like a fool - an insecure, immature fool. The sad thing is that she's somebody's mother. Also, that racial stuff about the little black kids was uncalled for. She's a moron.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: PREACH Soulwriter PREACH!!! I too am married to a black man who I love dearly.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Thank you CoCo Caramel (don't you just pity those hatin' wenches?) and Moonbeams---I feel the sorriest for their daughters; they need to learn to protect and respect themselves....who's gonna teach them that lesson in that 'family'? It's tragic.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: >Thunny - maybe Union and Berry didn't respond because HE IS MARRIED. Did that occur to you? They have both been WIVES. They are both the "wifey type" and don't have to resort to being the fall back girl as someone called Porter. Why would they date someone who proclaims in just about every interview that his estranged wife is the only woman he really loves? And, I have to disagree about black men not treating white women as trophies. They do. Go to Arundel Mills in Maryland and you'll see brothers walking around sporting their fat, nasty, plain white women as if to say, "look what I got!" I could see if they were pretty but they're not...As for Porter, she does sound like a bitter idiot, albeit a rich bitter idiot. lol! She should have given the "no comment" as JLo did. And I agree. I think Marc Anthony is controlling but I think JLo likes and needs that because she is so domineering herself. He's a scrawny lil thing though. They look ridiculous together but it has worked for a few of years. Love is a strange thing!
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Hey Bad_Kitty, thanks for the props; 'man' is the operative word, okay??!!?? :o)
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Name:
SpecialK
Comment: Maybe I misunderstood Terrence Howard's article but was he trying to holla at Gabby & Halle while he was still married or separated? Then, duh!! That's probably why they didn't want to be bothered with him and I heard that Mr. Howard ain't working with much! (ladies u know what I mean).
JLo is showing she has truly moved on with her life. I bet if JLo had agreed to marry Diddy when they were dating, Kim would still be sitting around "keepin hope alive". I found it quite disturbing that Essence would feature the two of them on the cover. What kind of message is that sending? Everybody knows they are NOT married though she just had two more of his kids. JMO!
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: <Soul> The fact that you had to use Dennis Rodman (of all people) as evidence of what you claimed IMO means that you are reeeeeaaaaaching. Your indictment of black men is obviously based on the poor examples that you and maybe those you know have dealt w/. There is a def problem which exists between the sexes but to insinuate that it's the "brothers" fault is waaaay off base. Factually, ya'll can't handle the truth. ATL...a brotha hanging out (kissing, hugging, opening doors etc) w/his non-black woman doesn't mean that he's "trophesying" his woman...he's simply doing his job as a man. I see black men..doing the same for black woman...all the time. I think that the real issue is that when ya'll see a brotha w/a non-black woman..the simple fact that he is w/them makes ya'll think he's "trophesying" her. If ya'll are gonna talk about anyone, ya'll need to talk about the ignorant women who allow trifling brother to continue to make a fool out of them and get nothing out of it. Bash Kim as you want, but I don't blame her one bit!
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Name:
Victornator
Comment: Who cares when there is stuff going on in the world like this:
"SHE has been arrested 22 times, tortured so badly that her front teeth were knocked into her nose and had an AK-47 thrust up her vagina until she bled. Thabitha Khumalo’s crime: to campaign against a critical shortage of tampons and sanitary towels in Zimbabwe, one of the least talked about and most severe side-effects for women of the country’s economic crisis.
So desperate is the situation that women are being forced to use rolled-up pieces of newspaper. Zimbabwe already has the world’s lowest life expectancy for women — 34 — and Khumalo believes these unhygienic practices could make it drop to as low as 20 because infections will make them more vulnerable to HIV. “It’s a time bomb,” she said. The shortage is forcing schoolgirls to stay at home when they start menstruating."
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Name:
Gurlfrand
Comment: This Terrence looks like the classic pain in the azz guy, and only women, who are not black, would put up with his azz - see ya, T.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Soulwriter: “man” IS the operative word. Musbdherbs: Since Dennis Rodman is reeeeeaching as you called it, how about, Taye Diggs, Wesley Snipes, James Earl Jones, Cuba Gooding Jr., Harry Belafonte (who I admire fully but can not understand how he could separate his civil rights activism with being married to a white woman), Paul Mooney (another one that TRULY baffles the mind), Richard Pryor… the list goes on and on. And rarely do you see brothers, opening doors, hugging & kissing, etc. their black women in public (except the teeny-boppers). Brothers always seem to have to be “ALL HARD” when it comes to us. We often do not get the benefit of your sensitive, tender side unless we drag it out of you. And rarely do we get the tenderness of you, in public.
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Name:
CoCoCaramel
Comment: >>>Soulwriter...Yes I do pity them they have had more children (more than 3) with different men and neither one them still has no husband...I pity all women/girls who just want to be baby momma's, I have a cousin whom I love dearly but her life is a mess cause she lives in a small town with two children, no decent job prospects and neither baby daddy is taking care of their responsibility, and she's extremely bitter and angry at all men cause she found out after she got pregnant that they were just no damn good (which she should have been doing between all that f*u*c*k*i*n*g)...I see it all the time some women meet a man and three months later she's pregnant...Well did you take the time to get to know this man, did you take the time to discuss what the two of you want out of life,and did you tell this man that you want to get married one day...Most men take you for what you present to them and if you have the baby momma mentality then that's all you'll ever be cause why is it that most of the baby daddy's end up marrying someone else and you end up at home mad and wondering why he didn't marry you???? When does the respect start, when are young women going to learn how to start respecting themselves, cause if they don't the men definately won't...
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Name:
Stephanie
Comment: I think Terrence Howard is a wonderful actor, however he is very arrogant and self centered. Kim Porter is the joke of the day, every day and who wouldn't me bad your man played you like a 3 card monte game for a super pretty Latina??? It really shows how ghetto minded and stupid she was when she didn't want Duddy to take the kid around Lopez...pulease...well, she's got 4 kids and God Bless Her!
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: How do we account for these black women who are married/engaged/involved with and to a white man parading around like it's all good? That list includes but is not limited to: Halle Berry, Kerry Washington and Iman. That's 3 generations covered with those 3 women right there. Some women seem to have a nasty habit of practicing a double standard. And I say it's a double standard because Iman is a mainstay in magazines like Essence and Ebony, but she loves her some white boys. Halle is always in those mags too, and doing ads for make up geared toward black women, but she doesn't even identify with black folks. Then we have Kerry Washington, who has no problems doing blackl movies like Little Man and this new Chris Rock flick, but she let some white boy string her along for 2+ years of engagement before he dumped her and moved on -- and I bet she's still hung up on those white boys.
How do we account for these women?
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Hello Musbdherbs; the fact that you are focusing on a point that I didn't make (about trophies) vs. the ones I did make validates the issues I put forth. I never stated that all brothers are at fault either; I just called Kim out (a black woman the last time I checked) for not having enough self-worth to let go of this farce of a relationship and stepping to the female instead of her shell of a man. My point was that brothers don't appear to feel the same level of responsibility to us Black women as we have towards them and are quicker to run to the other side. Thanks again Bad_Kitty, for presenting even more examples of high profile men. DR stuck out to me b/c he outright said that since a few sisters referred to him as 'ugly', he completely turned to other races.
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: BK..come on..let's be serious. What about Taye..that he married the woman he met on the set of Rent? Has he ever alluded to not liking black women? Better yet, has he ever been romantically linked to ne1 other than his wife? Wesley Snipes? Whoopie Goldberg, Alfre Woodward, Diana Ross, Tina Turner, etc. We can name blacks who've married/dated yt all day long. You don't get the tender side becz unfortunately you've been w/the wrong man. That is unless you are suggesting that "only" when black men are w/non-black women that they are "tender." Honestly, black women perpetuate the hypermasculinty found in a lot of black men...ya'll just don't wanna admit it. It starts @ birth.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Hey CoCoCaramel----my sister has the same problem as your cousins. She's attractive, educated, gainfully employed and just bought her 1st home last year, but has 2 children by 2 trifin' @$$ sperm donors (they haven't even earned the title 'babydaddy') and that presents a problem from the outset, b/c not many men of quality will hesitate before settling down with a woman with that kind of built-in drama and baggage. As a whole, sisters need to step up their standards or in the very least, WRAP IT UP!!! Not everyone deserves a lap in your gene pool, and a child is too precious a gift to bestow on just anyone. I'm thankful that our daughter is the only child my husband has and that his hateful ex had no excuse after all to hang on to him once she realized she made the mistake of letting him go.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: correction to above; I meant quality men WILL hesitate.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny: If you would look at the history of black women that usually date white men, chances are they were abused, used and played for a fool over and over and over again by black men. Halle, her mother is white so you can’t fault her too much. Sisters DO get tired of having to be STRONG ALL THE DARN TIME in relationships! When we find someone who is willing to treat us like a lady and is nice to us as white guys seem to come across, then we are willing to take a shot because of all the stress and baggage many brothers bring into a relationship (we have baggage too I know). We get tired of being treated or considered a b*tch or a ho. I am not saying all white men are peaches and cream nor are all brothers abusive and no good. I just want brothers to know that most sisters are beyond willing to work with you in cultivating our relationships. We just ask that you meet us half way. It is somewhat of a double-standard I suppose (the black woman/white man dynamic to the black man/white woman dynamic) but most black women do not go out actively SEEKING white men to “parade around on their arms” as many brothers often do. We love our black warriors, we just wish you showed the same love in return to us.
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Name:
Michele
Comment: In Terrence Howard's case, let the white women take him -- please! He's trying to pick up women while married, and he looks like the type who, during the very first "get to know you" conversation, would moan and groan about his problems with his wife, and do that silent tear thing that he does, while staring down at his lit cigarette in a shaking hand. Plus, his peter was about 1" tops in that godawful 50 cent movie. I've found that there are plenty of wonderful, wonderful brothers around. I've never believed in a "shortage" of good Black men. The secret is to go for the man who the other women diss because they're "too nice" or "too corny". Those are the great ones.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Michelle, I agree. The not too attractive ones too. Pretty Ricky is nothing but heartache. LOL!
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: So in other words, Kitty, you're making excuses.
And WOWSERS you don't know ANY black men who "seem to come across" as nice? I can't believe you really just said that white guys seem to come across as nice! LOL! And then you say many brothers bring stress and baggage, like there aren't tons of black women who are simply baby mommas with jealous exes and what not.
Then you say "most sisters are beyond willing work with" black men, like you guys are making a sacrifice for our betterment!
Wow is all I can say to that. With that type of attitude what man, let alone black man, would want any part of that headache?
The black woman needs to understand she IS NOT doing the black man a favor by allowing him in her presence or life, and vice versa. That is one of the biggest problems today -- black women feeling like they are doing brothers a favor by dating them. This is why there are so many lonely black women out there now. You guys have a superiority complex (in many instances) that a black man is not willing to tolerate because you attempt to make the black man feel inferior. What kind of healthy relationship can be borne out of that dynamic?
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Name:
CoCoCaramel
Comment: >>>Musb, as far as Tina Turner is concerned after being with Ike, can you fault her??? I think a little green man from Mars would have probably been a step up...LOL...
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Michele, way to go with your rationalization of Terance Howard that since his penis appears to be small he's probably worthless anyway.
By the way, who ever said Howard went after Halle or any other black woman while he was married? Howard has been acting for a long time now and he could have tried to get at them when he was an up and coming single actor. Remember he was on that terrible TV show "Sparks," and that was a long while ago.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: CoCo, so it's cool to stereotype an entire race of men because of one incident? You need to separate the one man from the entire race, unless you're saying that all black men are like Ike Turner. Which happens to be exactly what you're saying...
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Name:
CoCoCaramel
Comment: >>>Thunny, that's not at all what I am saying!!! I love my black men always have and always will, I am not saying all black men are like Ike Turner if I believed that I would have never married a black man. I come from a family with truly wonderful, responsible, and loving black men the Ike Turner thing was just my attempt at trying to be humorous (I guess it didn't work)...So lighten up on a sista ok...cause I'm one of the black man's biggest cheerleaders...
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Name:
SOILL
Comment: >musb> "trophesying"--that's funny!
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny love, I was speaking in general about what I see in regards to some black man and how you seem to treat others better than us. I for one am married to a VERY hard working blue collar brother who makes 35k less a year than I do. I work for corporate America therefore, white collar - but in our household, we come together as one. What he lacks, I supply and what I lack, he supplies (mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.). I am not saying I have the perfect black man or that I am the perfect black woman or even that our marriage is perfect, just that we have learned over the years what it takes to nurture the other. Believe me, it was trial and error quite often, but we are willing to work at it. I know there are PLENTY of decent black men out there and some scandalous black women out there too, no doubt. I was just giving you one side of the coin when you named Halle, Iman and Kerry Washington and how they are now with white men as opposed to being with black men. That is all love. Like I said, I LOVE my brothers.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: Hey CoCo, this is all bringing into focus what my beautician told me once; White men put their women on a pedestal, that's why they're seen as universally desirable. Black Men don't do that for us." My father and my husband are among the men who cherish and adore Black women, and I hope that my son will grow into adulthood doing the same. It's hard to swallow however, that too many of our men in the spotlight would rather cash a quick check with degrading images and sterotypes of us. We are Black mothers, sisters and daughters that need just as much cherishing and respect as we strive to give out, and when Black men step up to provide that w/out whining about we're expecting and requiring too much, it's a beautiful thing.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: But Kitty, with the way you keep talking it's like you're doing US a favor, especially with the way you just HAD to point out that you're making 35K more than your "blue collar" husband... What does that matter if marriage is based on the unconditional love you say you two have? His salary shouldn't even be a factor, but for some reason you felt compelled to include that. I'm no psychologist but you seem to be making some implications with that commentary.
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny: I included that because someone above mentioned that once a sister makes a certain amount of money or works in certain places, when a brother approaches her, she gets an attitude and will not give him the time of day. I do not think I am above him in any way, shape or form. My husband was the one who had to get over the fact that I made more money than he. Not I. I think brothers have an inferiority complex as opposed to sisters thinking they are superior. I wish I could continue this conversation but our office is closing because of the snow. Everyone in the NYC tri-state area, please get home safely.
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Preciate that Thun...cuz lawd I was thinking the same thing. BK..you gave excuses. "Because black women were...then that's why they..." Yet, I can say becuz "black men have been castigated by black women..then that's why they..." You see how ridiculous both excuses are. He makes 35k...apparently that's an important distinction for you. Sounds to me like his salary isn't as "irrelevant" as you claim. Both Thun and I are black men..lest we forget. But, you all are continuing to tell us how black men feel, think, react..etc. Is it that hard to listen to what WE say as opposed to telling us how we feel. Some'n ain't right bout that.... If Soulwriter's father and husband cherish and adore black women...then why would she bring the ignorant comments of her silly beautician into this. Her acknowledgement of knowing good black men alone, she should've said..."girl u a lie cuz yes they do."
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Name:
Bad_Kitty
Comment: Thunny: Thanks for the debate today. We will have to agree to disagree for now. Take care, BK.
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Name:
Justthrough
Comment: Is it me, or does Terrence sound confused? First he says he's divorces, then he's not. Then he starts dating other women. He does Quincy Jones a "favor" by being a listening ear to Naomi C. He tries to hit up on Halle and Gabrielle, but he LOVES his wife and wants her back.
He needs Jesus.
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Name:
Justthrough
Comment: SeriousBrother69 said:
"...Beside, Terrance has a reputation in the industry for being a mess."
Can you elaborate?
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Kitty, I work in Times Square, it's nothing but freezing rain that will melt by the time 5 p.m. rolls around!
With that said, how do you figure we black men have an inferiority complex? You just said decidedly stated how much more income you earn that your husband - that doesn't sound like you flexing your superior financial muscles?
And Herbs makes perhaps the best point of this convo -- the black women here are not listening to the black men here, and that is an example of the larger scale problem. Instead of telling us how we should feel you might want to take a moment to listen to the black man tell you hoa HE feels.
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Name:
Justthrough
Comment: Thunny, please spare us. I am so sick and tired of black men and this crap about black women not supporting them. Black women throughout history have ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS supported our brothers. I don't know not one black female that hasn't bent over backwards for her man. How about trying to support us for a change? How many black men talk about supporting the sistahs?
I know black women throughout history stuck by their man when he was broke and didn't have a pot to %*$! in nor a window to throw it out of, and then he became successful and left her behind for a "new and improved" model. I'm sick of it. It goes both ways.
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Name:
JaysGame
Comment: Back to subject at hand, Terrence is a grown %*$ man, so damn the confusion. He was a trip at Duke University with his issues and from what I see...has enough baggage left over to start a courier service. He bacame a product of his environment and continues to show no maturity or growth when moral values on what a marriage is supposed to be. He should have shook his wife along time ago, move on already.
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Name:
Justthrough
Comment: Another thing, Thunny you found a good black woman who loves you unconditionally. Well there are many more out there. We all go through a lot of bad apples until the right one comes along. I can say the same thing about SOME egotistical brothers that think they are above black women.
As far as him running to Becky, I could care less who TH dates or marries. To each his own, but black men need to quit blaming black women for the choices you make. If you choose to date outside your race, just say that. We black women must have a lot of influence if we are making a whole race of men run to "the other side." That's a lot of control, don't you think? In all fairness, sistah's can do (and are) doing the same thing because we are tired of black men blaming us for every damn thing that goes wrong in their lives. There is good and bad in every race. If Becky was so perfect, you would think they would never be in divorce court. White men divorce them everyday so they aren't God's gift to men.
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Name:
actright
Comment: If Terrance Howard really loved his wife he would not have forgotten about her when his career took off. When he first blew up and started attending celebrity parties and his picture started poppin' up, you NEVER saw a picture of his wife with him, the one he professes so much love for. Real women (Berry and Union) can spot a fake a$$ brotha no matter how shinny and new he looks. They didn't want to deal w/the b.s.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Justthrough, you, my friend, need to put down that baggage once and for all. It seems like it's been rather heavy on your back for a while.
"History" is a very broad term, so we can narrow it down if you'd like with countless instances of black women not supporting their man. There are PLENTY of black women who will not and do not support their black men who aspire to be creative, like with music or writing, two crafts that may not immediately return the dividends that the black woman expects to be made.
Instead, many want their black man to go the traditional route (i.e. the route that the white man put in place) instead of following his dreams of being an artist.
But when that man starts becoming successful, guess who wants back in the picture? Yep, the black woman who out him down for trying to follow his dreams.
It works both ways, however you are apparently blind to one of those ways and wish to pin the blame entirely on the black man. Big surprise...
By the way, just for conversation's sake, throughout the history that you're citing, what exactly were those black women doing when their man "was broke and didn't have a pot to p*ss in nor a window to throw it out of"? Probably b*tching and moaning about their man instead of rolling up her sleeves and doing whatever it took to make their dreams come true.
So many times that "new and improved model" you referenced is exactly what the black man needs after being derided repeatedly by the black woman who "supports" him. Matter of fact, you sound a bit like Kitty right now.
And you honestly don't know of "one black female that hasn't bent over backwards for her man"? You need to get out more.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Ironically I just came across a picture of Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child... with her white boyfriend...
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: All the hostility on this board. Dayum. I'm gonna sum it up for all of y'all. Here is what happens. A black man/woman hooks up w/a mate. He/she is a giver. The mate is a taker. The giver gets sucked dry and ends up bitter. The taker realizes there is nothing left and moves on to the next giver. That is what happens. It is on both sides. The taker is pathologically selfish and narcissistic. She/he cheats, is a gold digger, has no regard for anyone but her/himself. The giver ends up on empty and gets sad/angry/bitter and then takes it out on the next guy/girl who comes along who might be a giver, too. She/he runs from the backlash and the giver loses what could have been a beautiful union. The giver ends up bitter/cynical. That is what happens ON BOTH SIDES. I have heard it from men and women. It seems that givers are attracted to takers and vice versa. Race is irrelevant. The solution is to be more discerning in who you open your heart/wallet/home/body to in the next relationship while keeping an open yet cautious mind about him/her.
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Name:
Soulwriter
Comment: I love your narrow focus musbdherbs; my repeating her quote is not an endorsement, but even if it were, that's not something pulled out of thin air, it's a proven fact that media and music portrayals have been less than flattering about the sisters. We're the only race that so publically disrespect one another and make profits doing it! My entire point, which was once again overlooked, is that many brothers are quicker to walk away than put in the work required for a lasting, MUTUALLY BENEFITIAL adult relationship with a sister and use the tired 'y'all are too difficult' excuse instead.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: We all need to learn how to spot a taker. She/he gives you clues if you listen.
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Name:
Justthrough
Comment: Thunny, my friend, you are sadly mistaking. I have no baggage whatsoever, but I speak the truth. The fact is that you are placing the blame solely on black women's backs and are not acknowledging the fact that black men oftentimes DO NOT SUPPORT US.
You asked, "...what exactly were those black women doing when their man "was broke and didn't have a pot to p*ss in nor a window to throw it out of"? Probably b*tching and moaning about their man instead of rolling up her sleeves and doing whatever it took to make their dreams come true."
I'll tell you what many of them were doing. They were probably home raising the kids and patting him on his back when he came home discouraged. I speak from experience. I speak from what I've seen the women in my family do. Are all sistah's supportive? Nope. But you can ask men of every race and they'll say the same thing. Ask some white men in THEIR women supported them? Some would probably say, "hell no."
You said, "There are PLENTY of black women who will not and do not support their black men who aspire to be creative." Again, I repeat, there are many black men who do not support their black women either." We are not the enemy, Thunny. It's not just about what black men need. We have needs too. You mention when black men become successful after the struggle, who wants back in the picture? Well maybe it's the black woman who stood by him in the first place when he was trying to make it, but she was left in the dust once he became successful.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: What thunny/musb are talking about is the backlash from the givers. Women get drained and the next man suffers. It isn't right but it is what happens. What needs to happen is that takers need to realize how they affect the ones they suck dry but that will never happen because takers only think of themselves === beware of takers
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Oh lawd Thun..say it ain't so. I know it was rumored that they were trying to hook her up w/that Entertainment News guy some years ago..but please say it ain't so..lol
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Name:
yunvme
Comment: I think the problem is that the woman now days are to mannish. This makes the man feel he has to act all hard and uncaring. The dynamics are all fvcked up. I've said it before, if the woman knew her role and acted accordingly they would be able to keep their black man. But nooo, they talk down to us, mock us, make fools of us, then cant understand why we run away from them. Be a damn lady and you will be treated as such.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Yep Herbs - apparently he is some owner of a bunch of nightclubs in Chicago (her hometown) and worth dough.
I guess there aren't enough successful and wealthy black men out there for her...
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: lol..Well Queenie..I think you did sum it up and I more than appreciate what you said. Soul..narrow focus? Really? I thought I was pointing out that you have had good experiences w/black men. So your hairdressers indictment of black men would have to be false. Please, let's not get into media portrayals because they will ALWAYS be distorted. Not to get into a full-fledged debate..but last I checked the music portrayals you are referring to involved black women VOLUNTEERING to be depicted in such a way. In that sense, there is a dual responsibility that for whatever women won't accept theirs. As a man, I've acknowledged how trifling "some" of us are. But, that won't get any play. What will is that if I said something negative about black women..it'll be always remembered and I'll continue to wear the scarlet "M" on my forehead. All these generalizations are killing me. If anyone here (lurkers included) can truly say that black women (based on this discussion alone) don't have a problem castigating black men, then I'll be a monkey's left nut! Keep at it black women..don't listen to the brothers..listen to each other and see where that gets you in understanding the "essence" of a black man.
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Name:
PRDC
Comment: This shows who really have class.Kim needs to shoot up..J.lo answered that just right...It all over, and sh
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Name:
Grace
Comment: TO: andryce] Halle(bi-racial/black/white) and Gabrielle probably sensed something wasn't right with him. Perhaps they knew about his reputation. Perhaps they sensed he was married and/or a liar. Before the Naomi story, it was reported he was dating Marc Anthony's ex-wife. Now he claims he's back with his wife. If he can't make up his mind about whether or not he's married or single, that wife of his is gonna kick him to the curb.
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Thun do u have a link w/the article or photo.
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Name:
yunvme
Comment: The problem is not black woman listening to other black woman, its them thinking they know every god damn thing. Its a man never being man enough for them unless he is man handling them or a "rough neck". Its them labeling men as faggots just cause that man may know what it means to be a REAL man. Its the black woman thinking she has to be a "man". Women should cater to their man and shut the hell up. Be a lady and act like one. Did I say its the black woman thinking she knows every god damn thing. LoL.
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Name:
yunvme
Comment: Here you go herbs: http://ybf.blogspot.com/
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Name:
yunvme
Comment: your right, the problem is that these black women dont listen to their Kings. A man feels that he cant share his true feelings because she will turn around and use his insecurities and vunerabilites to demasculate him. This is why he acts all hard, this is why he creeps on you with another man, this is why he wants a white woman. He wants someone to love HIM not the image you have in your head about what a black man is suppose to be about. Listen to him, appreciate HIM, love him, support him, and in doing so you will find your king.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: yunvme - You really need to quit beating around the bush and tell us how you really feel. LOL But seriously, the same accusations could be thrown at men regarding the way they treat women. I don't know who you've been dating, but let me assure you that there are plenty of women not interested in a roughneck. And there are plenty of men that think they know everything (you sound like one of them with that "women need to cater to men and shut the hell up" comment-sorry). At the end of the day, folks need to take more time getting to know someone before getting "involved". People treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you. No woman can demasculate a man unless he allows it (and let's not even go there with the comment about women being responsible for why some men turn to men--um, ok). Folks need to take more responsibility for their own actions and quit trying to find blame in other-male or female.
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Name:
Thunny
Comment: Herbs, sorry dude, been ensconced with the NCAA tourney. I got the pic from here: http://ybf.blogspot.com/
Just scroll down once the page loads and there are photos.
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Name:
onyxeyes
Comment: We can't assume that a person doesn't like black men/women just because they've dated someone of another race at one point in their lives. If that's all they've ever dated, then there's some issues going on there(like maybe Quincy Jones). I mean we can't say that Halle doesn't like brothas, considering she has dated/married a few of them. Any man likes beutiful women like Gabby and Halle, so Terrence just thought he'd give a try. lol
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Name:
Shortey71
Comment: I hope Terrance asked Gab and Halle out BEFORE hooking up with Naomi. If it was after, I don't blame any one of them for turning him down. Who wants Naomi's left overs??? As far as Kim and Diddy are concerned, regardless to the number of kids she has, Diddy better treat her half way decent cause if SHE puts out a book, I bet it would be a definite #1 best seller.....but she was very immature for saying what she said about J.Lo. There is a way of getting your point across without being digrading and it is called being "tactful", something she obviously knows nothing about.
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Name:
WillyBobo
Comment: Terrance Howard's wife left him for her HS sweetheart. He found out that she was cheating by accident.
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Name:
lovebites
Comment: If a black man wants to be with a white women fine. There are plenty of good white men dying to have a strong black woman by their side. Love is love guys. Lets stop blaming each other for our own problems and start loving one another again. That means all black brothers and sisters.
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Name:
Revan
Comment: hahahahaha....He looks soft anyway...
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Name:
Beezyuu
Comment: Kim Porter is tacky and ghetto, and we all know she has not an ounce of class, afterall look who she's with. Diddy can have a hundred babies from other women and Kim will always be right there for him. How stupid is that? When I think about it they are a perfect "no class" couple. Diddy think's that his money gives him class but his actions are 100% thug.
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Name:
Redbonetati
Comment: To Mudsherb and Thunny you 2 really amaze me at your views and comments! Most of the time both of your comments really get on my last dam nerve! Both of you know darn well you understood where Bad Kitty was coming from, but you 2 just wanna have something to say! I agree with Bad Kitty, and understand her views clearly! No matter what the topic, you 2 are always on the other side! No matter how much sense someone elses comments make, you 2 always try to shoot it down! Bad Kitty was on point with every comment she posted, and here u 2 come tryin to shoot her views down, and she remained a lady when dealing with both of u!
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Name:
shulamite
Comment: "We're the only race that so publically disrespect one another and make profits doing it!" This is the problem in a nutshell. I have never seen a movie, blog, video of white men targeting white women or of any other race targeting their women like we do. When we have "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York" as public examples of how *our* relationships function, why would anybody respect black women? I'm particularly ticked off about this because the people I work with are international - many literally never having seen black people before. They get here for a few months, and when they work up the nerve ask me "what the hell is going on with black men and women? Even the most screwed up caste marriage sites in India don't dog their women like the American black man. My Korean colleague came to me last week "I'm so sorry your social situation is bad... I see black men (at the gas station my friend owns), but they are not for you. Those black men are different. I don't understand? Is it like this everywhere?"
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Name:
nightshift
Comment: NYCSoul, I'm down with you on Terrence. I asked myself the same thing! They probably didn't want to deal with a man that can't stay faithful to his "Wife". That's crazy!
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