Mon, Nov 23, 2009
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Name:
Debonair
Comment: Black woman will have White baby. Filmed at 11.
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Name:
sdedee
Comment: Good for her. Halle is half jewish half black sooooo, she's half white any way, get over it people, she married two black men, its not like she has ever abandoned her black heritage. Let the woman be happy
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Name:
LadyTBD
Comment: Sdedee I couldn't agree with you more!!!! Congrats to Halle!
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Name:
NYCsoul
Comment: Now, I don't want to hear folks complaining about being up in Halle's business when she makes it a point to appear on a national show to talk about her 'business'. Besides, women have babies every day. What's the big deal?
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Name:
FiveMore
Comment: Oprah "pets" Halle to much for me.
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Name:
cookyd
Comment: Oh no!!! Now she (Halle) is going to go on and on as if she is the first woman in the world to be pregnant, blah,blah,blah, blah.
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Name:
PRDC
Comment: I have always said she would do better with a white man....she is to needing for a real black man to put up with. She was raised by her white mother alone, and usually that's the way it goes. More power to her, maybe now she can be happy with herself...
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Name:
thechocolate10
Comment: i can understand both sides> i had my first child this june at 36 and yes you would have thought I was the first woman to give birth lol at the memories.
we are probably going to be sick of halle and her pregnancy by the end.
congrats
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Name:
TGen
Comment: What's interesting in the article is she says she wants another baby right after this one with her boyfriend, but nothing about marriage. Hmmm. Maybe she was serious when she vowed on Oprah a while back to never get married again. Interesting...
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: 33 pregnancy tests? Whew!
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Name:
Gurlfrand
Comment: Go for it Halle - you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in every area of your life - I wish you the best.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: I wish Halle the best. If she wants to have 20 kids in the next 5 years, that's her business. She's not asking anybody to foot the bill.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: I say get through that first round of labor before you start talking about having another one right away. I think she's just giddy about having her first child.
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: Well it is a sad statement about black fathers. I sincerely wish Halle the best with her choice to have a baby -- with a white man. Given that all of her black men relationships have failed, and that many black men prove to be sorry fathers (including her own) and many white men prove to be good fathers, I can't blame the girl for making what could be a wise choice. But Halle should pray on it, because many white men who father children with a black woman often abandon the black woman and sometimes the child too. Good luck Halle. You deserve a good relationship with any man and happiness too.
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Name:
mayday
Comment: You said it right Angel! Congrats to Halle Berry, I don't care who she has a child with and how many as long as she takes care of them and not my tax dollars.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: She would have had a child with Eric Benet if he had acted right. I'm not sure that I buy that part about white men being great fathers, but Gabriel does seem to be a decent man and she couldn't wait forever.
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Name:
Southernbelle
Comment: Forget Rosie, you got Halle!!!
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: A black baby mama openly talking about her plans to become black baby mama 2.0 and Oprah cheers her on. Unh hunh...yeah *vomiting* She could've at least had the baby w/Ealy. Guess it was some'n wrong w/him too. Lawd I wonder what he do to the ol gal.
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Name:
cdnyc
Comment: Obviously it's Halle's choice what she does with her body, but why do I have the feeling that in the end things are not going to work out with Gabriel either?
And white men can be bad father's too. They just tend to stay in the marriage or relationship regardless of how bad it is b/c they were raised that way. Black men have a hard time being good fathers and staying with their families b/c they have 400+ years of slavery destroying the black family to deal with. And even today, media images, and this racist system we live in does everything to show negative images of the black man and the black family.
We don't see positive black families in our neighborhoods anymore. And when there is one, people do everything they can to tear it down.
And as much as I hate to say it, it wasn't 100% the men fault that Halle's relationships failed. Halle has issues that go back to her childhood. She and her sister don't even speak b/c of an unstable homelife. I'm not condoning Eric Benet or David Justice. For whatever reason this new guy, Gabriel is more willing to deal with Halle. Maybe he's more patient, who knows?
Side note: Has anyone else noticed how much Halle's life parallels Dorothy Dandridge?
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: >musb - has it occurred to you that maybe Ealy doesn't want to just be a sperm sample? Maybe he wants to be known as more than Halle's babydaddy? There are still men who want to be married first...
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Name:
timmdogg
Comment: I am happy for Halle. It doesn't matter what race the person is as long as the baby is being cared for and raised right. Some people on this board are really upset that the sista has finally found happiness and it so happens to be with a white guy? I personally like dating my own race-but if someone makes you feel special, by all means go for it - and by the way things are shaping up for Halle, she did...LOL!
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Queenie...you know..that hadn't crossed my mind. That could very well be true. I would have a problem w/the baby daddy label. Now you have me wondering if she's meeting guys putting it out there that she's trying to have a baby. Regardless, I don't see how this is something Oprah would be broadcasting to the public..."baby mammas and the men who don't marry them"..lol
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Name:
FiveMore
Comment: cdnyc>Uhmmm..Yes, HalleB. is Dorothy Dandridge of the new millennium(reincarnate and it is sort of strange), but remember the Dandridge story ends in sadness and tragedy.Can you see the vacancy in her eyes? It's really scary.
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Name:
SeriousBrother69
Comment: Personally, I'm happy for Halle. She's been married twice - both times to black men and it didn't work (regardless of his race) and is willing to give her a baby then so be it. This aint about black men and their ability to be good fathers or not. This is about pursuing happiness in one's personal life. Halle do your thing, Sista! People are always going to have issues with what you do... live your life!
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Name:
cdnyc
Comment: Name: FiveMore Comment: cdnyc>Uhmmm..Yes, HalleB. is Dorothy Dandridge of the new millennium(reincarnate and it is sort of strange), but remember the Dandridge story ends in sadness and tragedy.Can you see the vacancy in her eyes? It's really scary.
FiveMore> I don't believe Halle's story will end like Dorothy's but I do see the vacancy and kinda of resignation in Halle's eyes. I read the Dorothy Dandridge biography last year and it was almost chilling how much their lives correlate. Even down to the relationship with her sister. It was really weird.
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Name:
4mybabygirl
Comment: I don't care how much money a women got! That doesn't mean she does not need to obey the the maker of that miracle!! That is GOD, this women should not be having a baby outside of wedlock!!!!! I'm glad she can have a baby, but I would be happier if she was married. Just keeping it real, the worlds ways is not GOD's ways.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: >musb - everyone on here isn't a black man hater. I do believe there are good, honorable men who want to be husbands before they are fathers. Perhaps Ealy is one of those. I know he's a fellow Univ of Md alumni so I know he got some good training along the way! :)
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: >4mybabygirl - we'll probably both get slammed by the "marriage doesn't guarantee a happy childhood" people but I agree with you 100%. I think people need to provide a stable, planned environment for children and premarital counseling followed by a wedding followed by preparation for a baby before a woman gets pregnant is the way to do it. It is no guarantee but people should put thought into providing a good, solid upbringing to their children. People seem to put more thought into buying a car than they put into producing a child and that's a shame. Before you get a car, you get a license. You get financing. You get insurance. Then you research the car. Then you buy it and get tags and get it inspected. People don't even seem to put that much thought into producing a human being and it's a shame.
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Name:
4mybabygirl
Comment: Queeniebunz-You are right. My husband was one of them. He did not believe in shacking up with a women before marriage or having babies outside of wedlock. He went to an all black college (Langston. He is a well educated and christian young man. There are GREAT black men out here. Women just need to pray and be open for who GOD sends them. They who they want but, GOD. I refuse to believe that all our men are deadbeat dads, cheaters, and crackheads.
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Name:
4mybabygirl
Comment: I meant to say not who they want, but who God want them to be with.
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Name:
MistaO
Comment: You know to see the enlightened comments from the postings under the story on the Jena 6 with regard to Black affirmation and then to read a bone headed, sterotypical, statement written by WordUp is just classic. Here you have someone sans the mental capacity to realise that "bad" fathers happen to occur in ALL races! And to make a statement such as this is in poor taste to say the least. Further more, people should not forget that it takes two to make a child and if more women would exercise some basic common sense before letting any ole guy dump, you'd see more intact families with daddy and momma around. Plus, some of you need to quit the bad Black man angle, we get enough of it from "outside" and regarding halle barry's past relationships, just because many consider her good looking, doesn't mean she has all her marbles and just like great many of women today, she may subconsciously have sabotaged the relationships she was in. Looks don't mean a hill of beans if ya mind aint right.
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Name:
Dean32
Comment: Why are so many of you on this board so happy about Halle having a baby and at the same time hate seeing a professional black business man or athlete with a non-black woman. And by the way, what makes you think a white man is a better father? Most are so busy trying to make a dollar that the kids never see them; it's called business trips away from home.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Mus, you know Michael Ealy walked around looking like he hadn't combed his hair in a month.
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Name:
ind1chez
Comment: People are human and no one is perfect, however Halle didn't have a crystal ball to tell her that both husbands would become jealous and worried about her success and feel that her ambition and accomplishments took something away from them.
Both pubically admitted their insecurities. Having thoughs of jealousy or insecurity wasn't the problem but how they chose to deal with their emotions. Trashing a woman to bring her down a notch or two and cheating to bring uo your self esteem damage relationships. Black men and (some women) seldom bring up this aspect, She would have still been with Eric if he wasn't a liar and cheat. Men don't stay with women who lie and cheat on them and the certainly don't stay with women who are jealous of their success. (Oh pardon me, I forgot women want and can deal with successful men)
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: I will say this, it is good to see
a situation where the child is anticipated and welcomed by both parents. Too often, children are accidents that people are neither emotionally, financially or otherwise able to properly care for.
I don't agree with the back-to-back babies thing though. Britney was off before that, now she's straight up crazy as he11.
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Name:
MER82
Comment: Wow there a lot of ignorant comments being posted up in here today. Ind1chez, you are right and that is the key element that so many foolish folk are forgetting.....but whatever, Halle continue to do you. As everyone should.
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Name:
cdnyc
Comment: >ind1chez: Halle did have a "crystal ball" so to speak, she had the red flags. She said on Oprah herself when she was promoting 'Catwoman' that the "red flags" were there that something was not right with Eric or their relationship, but she CHOSE to ignore them b/c she wanted to be in a relationship and to be loved so badly. And I know we've all biten off that apple a time or two, so I could understand where she was coming from.
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Name:
PTown
Comment: LMAO @ FiveMore. You know Oprah LOVES Halle and Maya! :)
As for the people that think that everybodyis hating on Halle. I don't think that's what they are trying to express here. . . .
I'm not on here to make any pious or self righteous comments, because there are innumerable things that all people do every day that may not be accepted in society (i.e, her not being married before the baby). I personally don't approve of it, but that's ME, not her.
My biggest concern in Halle. Halle is (despite her beauty) NOTORIOUSLY insecure and needy. She has vocalized this in many an Ebony articles of the past. Like many of us have attempted to do, I think she has found happiness and completion in THINGS, and PEOPLE, and now, babies. She has said that this baby will make her life complete - which means, that she feels INCOMPLETE without one.
Children, Spouses, and anything else you want to fill in the blank with add to your life. But they don't complete your life. Only the love and living for God will ever fill that void.
Meanwhile, I wish her the best. And no, I don't believe that putting the cart before the horse is appropriate. What I say may not be the popular angle, but I don't think those types of things should be deliberate. They happen, yes, but deliberate is a bit over the top for me. . .
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Name:
Southernbelle
Comment: Damn WordUP, what is this pizz on the black man day? I agree I want every woman (not just Halle) to have a great relationship with their better half. But I refuse to believe your claim that white men make better fathers. I know way too many black men that have done more than their fair share. I sincerly hope that Halle has found true love and wish her nothing but a life filled with happiness b/c she just like every other woman deserves it. Peace.
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Name:
PTown
Comment: Southernbelle:
Go, girl! I guess I was reading the comments so fast I missed word up.
Please. . .I am with you. Another person had commented that Halle saw warning signs in folks. Well, if you see warning signs, MAKE A DETOUR.
Not only that, have you noticed that every relationship Halle Berry is in, the person that takes the blame is the OTHER PERSON.
It was all David Justice
It was all Eric Benet
It was all (fill in the blank).
Well, hells bells. What is the common demoninator in this.
It's Halle.
Well, maybe it's ALL HALLE.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: 1. Bad/Good fathers come in all shapes, sizes and colors. No one has a monopoly on it. 2. Marriage does not mean a lifetime of stability. Not everyone feels that marriage is necessary, especially when you hit your 30s+. I have no desire to marry. 3. Not everyone has the same religious beliefs so it does no good to tout what "your God" approves/disapproves. What's more important to me is the commitment towards each other and the children. 4. Musb - Oprah is the first one to admit that marriage is a personal choice and does not mean that a relationship lacks commitment because 2 committed people choose not get married.
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Name:
mcalis1980
Comment: Halle can do anything she wants with her body...BUT saying she wants to have a second child when this child is ALREADY HIGH RISK for her seems crazy. 20% of women in Halle's position (diabetic and over 40) die during pregnancy. So she's quite bold talking about another baby. Something tells me, this is again PR on Halle's part, so people will stop thinking that she's only with Gabriel to have A BABY. For me, I still don't think their relationship is ALL REAL. I see them lasting a total of 5 years, if that. So I guess that means 3 more years for them. but, who knows.....
In terms of white men being better fathers. PLEASE, let's stop with the stereotypes. There are bad white fathers like there are bad black fathers. It does not matter the race. The media just likes to degrade black men, so it appears as if they are the only bad fathers. BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE! I know PLENTY OF GREAT BLACK FATHERS.
As for people thinking Gabriel will treat Halle right because he's white. That's ludicrous as well. Some men cheat or mistreat their women period! AGAIN it does not matter the race. The only difference may be HOW the man does it. Culturally black men and white men may be different with their approach to cheating. BUT I've known MANY white men to have cheated on their wives. They are actually quite slick with it. I've also known many white men to leave their wives or significant others with no warning. THIS IS JUST SPECULATION - BUT THERE ARE RUMORS OUT ON GABRIEL -- But, I would not be surprised if Gabriel has a little something on the side. He might not want to reveal this to Halle until after she has the baby. If he reveals it now her stress level could affect her pregnancy.
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Name:
FiveMore
Comment: Speak on it,PTown! Let me get off of this board....cause I do not want nobody to think I'm Halle bashing.Halle has some serious issues..
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: Queenie...you're right. Even you must admit that there are more "bad" conversations about black men than good ones. But, I need no convinving on our numbers neway cuz I am one. LOL@Ginger..he just had that "good" hure where he can just put a little water in it and go. ANGEL..now u know I don't care about na'n one of Halle's chilrens or murrages. I certainly don't question people's decision not to get married or have children out of wedlock...that's only when i'm being cynical.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Well, if Gabriel is creeping, Halle may just CHOOSE to stay in the relationship either way because of the bond created by him being the father of her child (or children).
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Name:
mcalis1980
Comment: TO: queeniebunz RE: MICHAEL EALY.
I don't know what happened to Michael and Halle. But they seemed to be going pretty strong, and then ALL of sudden Gabriel pops up. Halle moved on quite quickly. Perhaps it's because Michael was not up for being a father before marriage or up for being a father PERIOD! Michael did say duing the premiere of "Their Eyes" when asked about Halle, that he had a little "growing up" to do before he could handle all of that. The reporter was like, well that could happen next week or something. And Michael was like, well if it happens next week then it happens...etc.
So....perhaps Halle wanted to go all the way with Michael (I WISH SHE DID - BLACK HOLLYWOOD UNITED) but he may not have been ready or was not up on the non-marriage thing. He has said he values FAMILY.
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Name:
ind1chez
Comment: For the record. Halle is responsible for her choices. She should have been more selective in choosing men. I said she isn't perfect but who is. For the the record again, her ex-men need to be with women who don't have anything (I am being sarcastic) then they don't have to worry about certain things and they won't need to try to take their money because they won't have any to take. Finally,the last time I checked the divorce rate was at 50 percent for EVERYBODY NOT JUST Halle. What is the problem with other folks ?
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Name:
MER82
Comment: Say it Angel--not everyone, including myself-believes in marriage as a formal structure that is governed by law. Halle has been there and done that and I ain't mad that she finally woke up and smelled the coffee. You learn not to ever say never and keep it moving. That is what she needs to do.
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Name:
mcalis1980
Comment: TO: gingerg...I don't think Halle would do that. That's why she does not want to get married. She says if the man wants out of the relationship, without the legal papers, he can just leave.
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Name:
mcalis1980
Comment: re: Halle's former ex-husbands needing women with "nothing". NOT TRUE! David is married to a woman who owned her own successful modeling business and Eric Benet is currently dating a former lawyer who now runs her own business.
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Name:
mcalis1980
Comment: RE: Dorothy connection. I AGREE it is chilling. I really don't have a good feeling about the situation Halle's in right now. I'm not hating on Halle's. It's more "tough love" from a fan. She seems very empty and is willing to do anything to fill that emptiness. Even if it means having a baby with a random guy or not getting married because it hurts too much. I hope Halle is seeking spiritual guidance. I really don't have a good feeling. I hope she does not end up getting hurt more than she ever has...maybe the baby will bring her peace.
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Name:
ind1chez
Comment: Name: mcalis1980 I should clarify. I said I was being sarcastic I mean very high profile sucessful women or men often have partners (especially men) dealing with feelings of insecurity. Really successful women need really secure men period who don't see them as threating.
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Name:
MistaO
Comment: IMHO Children do best when raised as The Good Lord intended, with Father and Mother. Not to be sounding pious but I can't apologize for that one. You see the end results of folk out here thinking they can bring children into the world outside of what God intended and more often than not, it turns out bad. Now don't get me wrong, there will always be acceptions to every rule, but look at all the human waste walking around today and most have a common denominator, no Father around when growing up. Now I know it just kills many women to hear that but the facts bear out truth. Over 90% of men in prison, no father. And many women who complain of worthless men out here today, typically those worthless men were raised by whom? You guessed it, momma. Again, there are exceptions to this, but I must tell ya every dude I've ever known that shirked his responsibility to his family or kids all grew up with no father. I'm just saying...
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Name:
OSUN
Comment: cdnyc I believe Halle was already married to Eric Benet when she made Catwoman.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: I haven't read all the posts, but so far I am right in line with MUSB, QUEENIE AND 4MYBABY. I am happy that Halle is having a child and I wish her and her child well. I'm just a little dispondent that she chose to have a child without getting married. (And we all know that she vowed to never get married again.) I really hope she changes her mind though, especially before having another one. I'm not really down with "promoting" the notion that it's OK to conciously have babies with no intention of getting married.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Didn't Halle have to pay Eric Benet even though he cheated? And didn't he have the nerve to try to get alimony?
If so, no wonder she doesn't want to get married again.
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Name:
ChocolateBrownGal
Comment: Women having babies everyday with white men, black men, latino men, w/o men. Married/ unmarried. Diabetic women having babies everyday too. Who cares? God gave us the gift of free will. It is her will not to be married. Her business, her choice, her responsibility, to live with. Her choice may not be for everyone....but it's her choice none the less. So man black man bashing ain't got jack to do with this! NEXT!
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Name:
musbdherbs
Comment: MistaO. I believe children do best when raised in a loving, disciplined household. That sort of grounding is not relegated to just two-person (mother/father) households. I appreciate the power many give black men. But, black men are not the missing equation in all of our problems. In that case, lil black girls are sometimes worse than boys because they have no father at home. It's a bit more complex than that.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >PTown- "And no, I don't believe that putting the cart before the horse is appropriate. What I say may not be the popular angle, but I don't think those types of things should be deliberate. They happen, yes, but deliberate is a bit over the top for me." That's exactly how I feel, but couldn't quite think of the words to express it. Thanks!
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Name:
whynotme
Comment: it's funny the women on here that are trying to pretend like they don't believe in marriage when in reality nobody has wanted to marry them yet....so they pretend like they don't believe in it knowing that if a man stuck a ring in their face today or tomorrow they would be on the first thing smoking to the altar....LOL!!
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Name:
Angel
Comment: Closet_Nerd - Britney Spears was married when she had children....I think the bigger concern is if 2 people are committed to their best interest and the best interest of their children. Not everyone defines that with a piece of paper from the gubment saying "we's married now". That is not something that can be revealed by a piece of paper or a ceremony....that can only be known with time. Some folks don't want to include the gubment and the court system in their personal life. To be seen as committed before God, is it necessary to include a marriage license you purchased from the county?!? Can 2 people come before God privately and commit themselves to each other?
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Name:
Angel
Comment: whynotme - I'm assuming you know everyone here personally?! Well I know you don't know me because then you'd know that I am not interested in marriage...and I've had nice rings in my face and said yes (I've been engaged twice)...but then came to my senses after I quit looking at that rock and said no. Call it cold feet or whatever, but I'm just not interested in marriage...or children. I make that crystal clear up front when I date.
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Name:
NEBANKH
Comment: WHO CARE ABOUT TRASHY HALLE OR HER SOON TO BE BABY!
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >Angel- Just like having a child is serious business, so is getting married. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline had no business getting married OR reproducing because it is obvious that neither of them were mature enough or ready for either responsibility. I know Kevin already had kids, but he still wasn't ready. Just because people make wrong decisions about marriage, it does not negate the sanctity nor the necessity of marriage. Two people can stand before God and commit to each other all they want, but unless they have the license/certificate from the "gubment" they are not recognized as a legally married couple and won't reap the benefits thereof. God ordained marriage the laws pertaining to marriage were based on that. Again, just because some people abuse marriage or enter into them lightly, it does not minimize the institution of marriage itself. The fact that the divorce rate is 50% means that 50% of the couples who got married should not have gotten married in the first place.
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Name:
MER82
Comment: Angel, dam girl, we are on the level because I feel the same about marriage and kids. I think Whynotme is stuck in a time warp. Get with the program dude, every little girl does not dream of some big wedding and magical prince to save the day. I do believe in the power of love and have experienced quite a bit of it with a strong black man-just because I don't desire marriage and children, doesn't make me less of a woman. Grow Up.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: Closet Nerd - You missed my point. I'm sure THEY thought they were making a lifelong commitment by getting married (they nearly had to break Britney's arm to get her to sign a prenup). A commitment cannot be reflected in a piece of paper or by the government saying one exists. It can only be shown by the passage of time. I'm not saying that folks should not get married, I'm only saying that getting married is not indicative that a life long commitment exists or will occur. Halle doesn't need the benefits given to married couples. She can take care of that privately with her lawyer.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: OOps...meant say "Halle doesn't need the benefits given to married couples BY THE GOVERNMENT....."
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: MistaO, I bet you have a warrant for child support.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: And if you look at the origins of marriage, it was not about love at all. It was more about keeping women oppressed and business/political moves.
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Name:
whynotme
Comment: --->MER82 actually i'm not a dude i'm a girl and i'm not caught in a time warp.....i don't think being married validates any woman so if i was caught in a time warp then i would think that but i just noticed it's normally the women who no one has dared married who say they don't want to get married just because it sounds good to their ears.....i'm not married or have kids but if i did have kids i wouldn't want my daughter just being somebody's "babymama" or my son someone's "babydaddy".
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Name:
MER82
Comment: Whynotme-Then you just read about at least two females who told you something different than what you have experienced "normally"-so you learned something new today. And I did too, I thought you were a man, my bad.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: I don't know whether marriage is the be all and end all. Some of the most dishonest, crazy and miserable people that I know are married. They have more drama than a soap opera.
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Name:
whynotme
Comment: --->MER82 no actually i read about two females who hasn't had anyone who wants to marry them.
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Name:
whynotme
Comment: --->gingerg i don't think anyone actually said marriage solves all ills in society but there are a whole lot of crazy and miserable single, married, gay, and bi-sexual people so married people don't have the market on dishonesty, crazy or being miserable.
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Name:
Angel
Comment: Whynotme - My mom felt the same way when I was younger, but now she just wants grandkids anyway she can get them. LOL She can't stand the fact that I don't want to get married or have kids. She's given up on the marriage thing, but she constantly asks me how my ex fiance is doing and saying "he sure would make some pretty babies."
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >Angel, . "I'm not saying that folks should not get married, I'm only saying that getting married is not indicative that a life long commitment exists or will occur." OK, I did not get that in your earlier post. I agree with you there. Not everyone who gets married does so for the right reasons, and getting married does not mean that your spouse will be with you forever. That is all the more reason that people need to go into marriage with their eyes open, and they must be sure within their hearts and minds that they are READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILTY. Also, to address your post about the orgins of marriage. It is my belief that God ordained marriage. It orginated in the Garden when He told Adam and Eve that the man must leave his parent's house and cleave unto his wife, and they are to become one flesh. (I'm not a Bible expert, but that's in Genesis somewhere.) I believe that God intended marriage to be good, to honor Him, and to be the foundation for raising families and insuring future generations. Now, true, there are cases where man has taken what God has ordained and twisted it for his own benefit. (And this is not just marriage, it applies to MANY things.) That does not, however, mean that marriage itself is not good. Marriage is not about keeping women oppressed. Some may USE it that way, but that is NOT what marriage is about.
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Name:
domer
Comment: Yippee!! another black woman having a child out of wedlock. What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong with us that we are cheering her on as if she is some sort of hero?
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Name:
Angel
Comment: Closet Nerd - That's cool. I respect that belief. I just don't agree that God requires that you need to get the government involved. Adam and Eve didn't. LOL
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Name:
whynotme
Comment: --->Angel actually i was just being an azz and messing with you and mer82 but i do think that kids do better in a two-parent household and i do think they should be married but that's my own opinion....but me on the other hand, i don't want to be married or have kids because i'm too selfish for all that....i don't want to share my space with a man whether it's marriage or whatever and i'm too into myself to have kids so i'll pass on both.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: I do think a lot of women are discouraged about marriage because of the bad situations they see around them. I still have hope that I can have a good marriage and a family. Because I was raised in a jacked-up household, I know it's going to be some work for me because a good marriage wasn't modeled for me but I believe God intends me to be with someone so I'm going to do the work. I just feel sad when people get this discouraged. All men aren't dogs or deadbeats and all women aren't emotional cripples or gold diggers. If you can have faith that God will help you in your wallet or career, why wouldn't you have the same faith in God about your mate?
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >Angel- It's all good. It's too bad the serpent got involed with them though, now look at the mess the world is in. LOL!
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Name:
Angel
Comment: whynotme - Now I do believe that it is ideal for kids to grow up in a household with 2 parents who have a healthy committed relationship. Whether or not they are married in the eyes of the law is a personal choice.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: I'm going to cosign Queeniebuzz on this issue today. Also, instead of sitting around waiting for someone to ask for their hand in marriage, I think most single women today are enjoying their lives and counting their blessings. At least I hope so.
You have to be happy with yourself before you can be truly happy with anyone else. That way, you don't go into the relationship/marriage expecting the other party to make you whole. I just see too many women who act like they don't have any sense, motivation or goals after they get married. To me, they look stupid and weak.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >Queenie I co-sign your last post. There ARE PLENTY of good black men out there, and there is a good one out there for you. God sent my husband to me when I was READY for him. Had I met him ten years earlier, I wouldn't have wanted him. God knows what He is doing.
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Name:
Debonair
Comment: I wonder what the world will say when about Halle and men in general if this relation fails. Plus, Gator's girlfriend didn't have children with any of the brothers that she was married to.I think that is interesting.
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Name:
SistaBigBone69
Comment: Congrats Halle. You can talk about your pregnancy every day till the baby comes. From the couple of pictures I saw she looks even more beautiful than she already was. I love to see pregnant women that's when their beauty shows and everything grows. I'm not mad at her. First time baby, she's ecstatic and she should be. Halle, keep talking about your baby gurl and if whoever do not like it they can change the channel or turn it off. One thing for sure the baby will have a good "grade" of hair...lol
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: Last post QueenieBunz nailed it. Wordup> I am sooo sorry that the black men in your life disappointed you, that is very unfortunate for you but stereotyping is still ignorant as although you may have had issues you could not have possibly run into all the black men in the world so it would be difficult for you to say they make bad fathers as a blanket statement. My father was a wonderful father, all the men I know are wonderful fathers but I could not say all black men are good fathers anymore that you can say the opposite. As someone pointed bad fathers come in all races as well as good fathers come in all races. I hope you get over your bitterness soon open your eyes and find some happiness, life is far too short to dwell in the negative.
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: Now you know this is a damn shame. I will say the truth again. For those fake black women on this board tryin to play real, the majority of black fathers are not doing the job of (1) marrying mothers of their children and (2) taking care of those kids! CUT THAT FAKE SHYT OUT AND KEEP IT REAL!
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >WordUp, I'm curious as what the statistics are. I know that in my personal experience, I know more "good" black fathers than "bad" black fathers.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Look here, Wordup. We can't blame the brothers for all of these uncared for babies. Sisters are responsible for their actions. If you lie down with a man whom you know ain't worth a damn and is not good father material and wind up pregnant, why should he marry you or you him for that matter?
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Wait a minute! Victoria Rowell is brown skinned and had a baby by a white man. The kid is a blonde with
blue eyes.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: Word Up Again, you can only speak from your own experience. Real to you is not someone else's reality, no need to try to call someone out because they haven't had the unfortunate experiences you and whoever you know have had.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: BTW, what you might want to do is think about the choice people have made who find themselves in the situations, as gingerg pointed out too many women lay up with trifling men, then get mad because they are trifling, did they think their coohcie was so grand it would change a man? If they wanted to be married to their baby's father so badly why not get married first, then have the child, have PLANNED PREGNANCY. There are too many ways to prevent pregnancy for someone to get caught out there. Instead chosing a fyuck buddy, they should try chosing bonafide real man. Now that's real shyt to me.
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: Closet_Nerd_Girl, I wish that I could quote statistics on the reality of the black community's plight with out of wedlock births and child abandonment. I just see every day how so many kids don't have their fathers around. Mainly because their daddies wanna be free to hoe around, frankly.
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: Sweetdarlin, don't get it twisted. I am speaking from what I see and read about every day. It doesn't have to be my own experience. Please.
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Name:
Closet_Nerd_Girl
Comment: >SweetieDarlin- cosign your last post! If he was sorry before you got knocked up he'll surely be sorry afterwards.
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Name:
WordUp
Comment: Looky here gingerg, does it make sense to say that women shouldn't sleep with men unless they know the man will be good material for a husband and a father? That ain't gonna happen. Women are going to sleep with who they wanna sleep with. If a pregancy occurs, why can't black men own up to taking care of their children and marry the mother of their child. Your reasoning is why the black community is all f'd up.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: If they feeked up, it is their own fault, not mine. I'm saying men/women need to be more selective about whom they sleep with and use two effective methods of protection at all times. IMO, it is the epitome of selfishness to bring a child into the world with numerous disadvantages from the get to.
I know a young man who got a girl pregnant last year. He's struggling to go to school and work. When his car breaks down, he's on the bus with the baby in a stroller.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: Well, sorry that's all you read and see.
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Name:
gingerg
Comment: Also, there's no emotional connection to a one night stand. Sometimes, people wake up the next day and don't even know the person's name. That is just plain trifling. And you talking about getting married because a child was conceived out of lust. I don't think so.
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Name:
SweetieDarlin
Comment: What a fine marriage that would be, marrying the chick/guy you met at the club three days ago. It's messed up and unreal to expect an intelligent woman to take care of business of birth control if she feels so compelled to lead by her coochie and it's messed up and unreal to think that an intelligent woman would want to make better choices in the man she sleeps with just to avoid overall bullshyt that can come with a relationship with an unsuitable mate but forced marriages between two people who normally would not be together in two more weeks, would benefit the child and the black community. Maybe I'm reaching here but I think the man being a positive influence in his child's life and supporting his children financially and emotionally would be more idea that all men marry their 'baby mama.'
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Name:
Gurlfrand
Comment: >Closet - I agree with your posts. Some people who get married have absolutely no bizness at the altar or procreating - AT ALL! I know so many immature people who get married and have kids, and, sadly, the children always end up ABUSED in some form or another because their idiot parents are not watching them.
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Name:
queeniebunz
Comment: I gotta agree w/Sweetiedarlin on this. We as women KNOW where babies come from. We know that letting a man go in raw or using the pill can end up w/a baby. Condoms aren't fullproof but they are darned close. Women are responsible when they have a baby and they aren't married. When they know the man has 5 other kids and barely sees them, if at all. Women know better. We do. So when you talk about men being deadbeats, think about the tale of the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion asks the frog for a ride across the lake. The frog says, "no! you'll bite me!" The scorpion assures the frog he is safe. Midway across the lake, the Scorpion bites the frog and they both drown. The frogs asks, "why did you do that knowing we would both die?" The scorpion says, "That's what I do" - if you know a man is a mess, why would you even lay up with him and especially why would you reproduce with him? A hint that he's not good for you - he won't marry you - there's your big smack upside your head clue that you're setting your child up in a bad situation.
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Name:
TMan
Comment: Oprah: "Halle's heeeeeeeerrrrrrre! With new baybeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Whoooooohoooooooooooo! Whooooohooooooooooooo! (crowd goes crazy) Whoooooooohooooooooooooo! Next Oprah!" LOL!
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Name:
dcdouglass01
Comment: WordUp, it takes two to make a baby. In this day and age, both men and women could do a better job acessing who they're making a baby with before making the baby.
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Name:
dcdouglass01
Comment: WordUp said: "...does it make sense to say that women shouldn't sleep with men unless they know the man will be good material for a husband and a father? That ain't gonna happen. Women are going to sleep with who they wanna sleep with...." And after all the sleeping is done with and the baby is on the way, a happily-ever-after scenario (happy marriage) should then just effortlessly fall into place? That ain't gonna happen either.
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Name:
duckapoo
Comment: LOL at TMan. You are too much. Halle is welcome to her love child with Gab, but if she goes on Oprah and trashes Michael Ealy, who has always treated her with respect, I will go slap-off!
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Name:
khanman
Comment: Blacks folks always caught up in that religious mess and are the biggest hypocrites talking trash about others. Where in the Bible does it say it's okay to ridicule and belittle someone because they don't act or think like you? We are not clones of each other and further to that, the Bible is not to be taken literally. What fools Black people can be!
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