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Name: sdedee

Comment: Women need to make better decisions and Men need to hold themselves to a higher esteem so that women have a better pool to pick from and so that they are a better example for the young men coming up. Yes, women should be accoutable but so should the men!!!! And Mr. Banner just because someone's legs are open does not mean you need to jump between them. We need DISCIPLINE!!!!

Name: MER82

Comment: Co-sign sdedee-that has been the problem in Black culture for far too long, always putting the brunt of the blame and responsibility on the women while the men and consequently the women, don't hold the men accountable for shyt. Its time for all of us to work together and take our culture and communities back. Shifting blame to someone else solves NOTHING.

Name: Bad_Kitty

Comment: sdedee: AMEN!!! IMO, our black men have a real problem being accountable for their actions. Deelishis... F.O.L. IS coonish and buffoonary. Can someone tell me if the Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants have appeared in any booty/mens magazines after the show? I haven't seen any. The women that appear on F.O.L. seem to go from that show, straight to the pages of those magazines. The shows that blacks are in seem to always be raunchy, classless, coonish... black people in general need to hold themselves to a higher esteem. From the inside out (my view) we look horrible, tasteless, classless, raunchy, oversexed, etc. as a race. I can only imagine how we look from the outside looking in.

Name: McNasty

Comment: BET is the channel to host this - they have yet to get out from under the residue of the uncut videos they held on to for so long and there are still quite a few that fall directly under this topic that are in heavy rotation. Too bad they didn't see the error of their way before it got to the point that so many are blaming the images for the hoochies in the hood! Too bad they didn't pay enough attention to the words that they so willingly sent out into the universe.

Name: Bad_Kitty

Comment: Although this looks like a very good discussion (the show this evening and Thurs.) I have a feeling it will be yet another case of "all talk and no action" on our part as black people.

Name: McNasty

Comment: Women are blamed because we are the ones that have the ability to produce a precious life and we know better than men just how precious that life is. God gave us the that responsibility because he knew man was indeed the rough draft. The fact of the matter is women hold the power because NOTHING happens if they say no - they just stopped saying no and they started patterning themselves after men and that made it easier for men to disrespect us. It's laid at our feet because we got desperate and began to accept any old thing of a man instead of holding ourselves in the highest possible esteem and regard. Don't get upset with men cause we didn't say no. Females couldn't be in the videos if they just said no - we let men position us to think trotting out all our skin was a good thing to do - we made that decision. We let men think we would be the schiznit if we enhanced our breasts - we started doing that too. We decided to let men dictate the length of our hair because of some of their attraction to white girls and damned if we didn't go buy us some yak hair (which by the way is really Yak hair) and hang it in our heads. We were a beautiful people long before that and had we remained true to our upbringing, the black pearls of wisdom our mothers spun for us and our spirituality and didn't accept the first thing that crossed our paths there would be no real need for BET or this discussion.

Name: cookyd

Comment: This is total waste of time.You all know why--it's all about making money.The rappers continue to make the music and the people continue to buy the music.That my dear friends is what the entertainment business is about, making money.

Name: Sigmatherunner

Comment: After all the damage they cause promoting this garbage Now BET (Viacom) wants to have a conscience. File this under a day late and a dollar short.

Name: bigchassie

Comment: but this way of thinking can change though. can a well known rapper make money by producing a decent and creative video and good music that is going to send out a powerful message to up lift our community and make us look at each other in a better light?

Name: Bad_Kitty

Comment: bigchassie: It all begins with one person (changing the style of hip-hop out there today). However, I think most rappers are fugged up in the mind and could care less about anyone but themselves ($$$). Let alone the black community as a whole.

Name: oshun

Comment: missed the boat again, bet. pbs ran a similar special two years ago.

Name: musbdherbs

Comment: Men need to hold themselves to a higher esteem so that women have a better pool to pick from and so that they are a better example for the young men coming up. And Mr. Banner just because someone's legs are open does not mean you need to jump between them. sdedee-that has been the problem in Black culture for far too long, always putting the brunt of the blame and responsibility on the women while the men and consequently the women, don't hold the men accountable for shyt. AMEN!!! IMO, our black men have a real problem being accountable for their actions. My bad...what is this discussion supposed to be about again? Black women on the attack or a DIALOGUE 'tween men and women.

Name: Janissi

Comment: @sdedee>>>I cosign 100%!!!

Name: beegirl

Comment: BET held this same forum a few months ago. I watched it, and it was nice that a discussion was held. But most of the dialog consisted of the rappers jumping on the intellectuals for suggesting that their actions and videos have a negative effect on the community. I expect more of the same this time around, and BET didn't stop playing such videos after the original show. So maybe this time, things will change. Either way, I would never want to discourage anyone from having a discussion about gender in our culture. I hear too much griping from both sides on an everyday basis, so we can't keep sweeping it under the rug.

Name: bigchassie

Comment: BEEGURL>and speaking of those videos, from an artistic standpoint, most of those rap videos are the same: you see the fine car or suv driving down the street, you see money flowing everywhere, the goofy looking rappers with the stupid bling bling chains they like to show off and the almost neckid chicks doing the booty dance or just posing by the cars and the club scene where everybody is cramped up toghether partying. where is the artistic view. all those videos are the same to me.

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: I hope there is more focus on the decisions WOMEN make in being in these videos! Last year, the panel only wanted to blame the men (artist like Nelly,T.I.etc..) for the actions of those women who CHOSE to be in theirs & others videos!! The truth is BOTH are responsible, but if sistas weren't "down wit it"???...it wouldn't be going down! You can't make the decision to do something...& then blame others for YOUR decision! The lack of .... FAIR ACCOUNTABILITY is what reeeeeeeeeeally needs to come out of this, THIS TIME!! If women are so concerned with the "image" of women??,Then women & should start being MORE RESPONSIBLE about THEIR IMAGE!!

Name: spittinthetruth

Comment: First and foremost, in order to have any credibility, you cannot have the panelists consist of the main offenders who portray these negative stereotypes, without calling them out personally on it. With reference to Deelishus's comments and as stated by a previous poster, the winners and losers took their acts straight to the skin magazines as soon as the show was over. Not to mention, wasn't she the one who outted Flav by saying he never called her after the show ended. Wonder why? Could it be it really was a joke to begin with. Don't tell me you went looking for love on a show with one of the ugliest men alive that tapes over a 6 week period of time and expected to have a successful result. They gave that troll 3 seasons to exploit women who were mentally lacking, attention seeking, unemployed, half naked and morally questionable only for him to end up with his homely looking, overweight, fully clothed baby mama.

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: Flav's show like MOST other Black shows exist b/c these are the only shows YT allows to get a damn "green light"!! Sooooooo, it ain't FLAV exploiting these women...It's YT & THE WOMEN THEMSELVES! If one thinks these women really wanted LOVE??...WITH FLAV!!??? GTF outta here!! Those women SOLD THEMSELVES like any other hooker you see on the street!! The only difference is...the "corner" these hookers worked!!! One!! P.S...See, again!!, It "has to be" someone else's fault & NOT the women CHOOSING to do this shyt!!! That shyt cracks me up!! Always "saying" women are so strong & shyt!! But when it comes down to being responsible for their own actions!???....WEAK AS HELL!!!!! & always retreating to the VICTIM ROLE!! One!!

Name: Stephanie

Comment: Hip Hop is really dead! It died when Heavy D stopping rapping, when a Tribe Called Quest broke up. You know its really dead when a drug addict can sell a million copies of a song called Lollipop and you really have to be a lunatic if you think Nelly can rap. I can sit and watch Soul School all damn day.

Name: Bad_Kitty

Comment: Taurusingr: If Flavor Flav didn't have this show... then how could the women audtion to be on it??? YES I believe he is helping to exploit the women because he could have taken the show to a whole other level. Yet, he allowed it to be gutter, classless buffoonery.

Name: sdedee

Comment: Say it again Kitty

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: Bad_Kitty:...Sooooooo, You think Flav "controls his show!??? No! baby!! VH1 approached him b/c of the other VH1 shows he was on & saw he had some sort of a "fan base", Ok!? But he's just someone who needed money for all lem kids!!, & someone they knew they could exploit ALSO & get high ratings doing so, with this exploitive, racist version of.... "The Bachelor"! Flav DOES OWN SHYT!! Ok! therefore...HE does CONTROL SHYT!! Let that marinate! Now, you are the second person who has responded who AGAIN has NOT commented/mentioned/ agreed that these WOMEN CONTOL THEIR OWN ACTIONS!! I don't know why yall are "stretchimg & going around the corner to get ..."right across the street"!! (wait! yes I do!!...DENIAL!!) The women are the ones who have THE MOST control over "their images"! And no one held a gun to their heads,manipulated them or "made them" in any way!!!, decide to... EXPLOIT THEMSELVES!!

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: Sorry!...that should be.....Flav "DOESN'T" own shyt! Therefore...He "DOESN'T" control shyt!! (Now,let us continue!! sml!

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: It seems that whenever a women's "plan" doesn't pan out??, (Sillary,or any other!!) Some women just can't except the facts of that old saying....."YOU" made your bed!...now "YOU" lay in it!!!) One!! P.S....So how "strooooooong" is ...."that"!!!

Name: bigchassie

Comment: i'm gonna check this out tonight. especially since there is nothing else on TV.

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: Bad_Kitty:...Also...So, just b/c someone has a show....people/those women HAVE to audition for it!??? Hmmmmm...that right there is some acute & extreme DENIAL of one's responsibility for THEIR OWN ACTIONS!!!

Name: blakman

Comment: Once again a bunch of so called "intellectual" discussing but not really solving anything. If someone is brave enough to deal with the real element that is missing from these conversatons. I mean the real dynamic that dictates everything. It's the money people!!!! Take away the profit and these idiots would be out of business. But as long as we buy it, spend $50 a pop on concert tickets, etc. they have not reason to stop it. $$$$$ is the root of all this foolishness. Even Michael Eric Dyson, with his twisted logic, won't deal with the economic aspect of why these Brothas do what they do. There is nothing political about Nelly's Tip Drill video. The more he tries to explain it the more uneducated he sounds. Not only will I not watch another of these bogus discussions, I won't even inquire about what was talked about.

Name: TesticAl

Comment: Taurusingr I swear it's hard as hell to read your posts.

Name: ladybyrd

Comment: LOL... I agree Al. Regarding Flav of Love: everyone is to blame (Flav & the women)... period. This show have adults making bad decisions, but back to BET. BET is GARBAGE & so is BOB JOHNSON.

Name: Taurusingr

Comment: Yall kill me with the"sensitive eyes!! Testic al (and anyone. Else for that matter!) If your "comprehension" leaves you simply b/c someone uses "caps"?? You got a much more serious problem than my caps going on!!! (Uhhh, Was that "small" enough for yah!!?tell you what...?next time just say you disagree & k.I.m.all this "sensitivity is just...weak! One!

Name: Taurusingr

Name: tinkius

Comment: More female garbage... and what relationships are they talking about between black men and black women or women in general?? All I see are people to compete against. Screw dating and screw marriage even more. Women can leave a "bitter" taste in your mouth

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