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Name: jazzfan

Comment: Dude, would you be so understanding if the shoe were on the other foot? If your woman just casually gave up a "piece of azz", would you still feel the same about the relationship being worth saving?

Name: McNasty

Comment: I'm going off the premise that he has already fallen, gotten married and she isn't letting it go. I'm also going to take his word that he's a good man possessed of the qualities he espouses here. Having said that I'll say it's difficult to rebuild the kind of trust that is first placed in one we have been encouraged to look to for love and support. Once you give over your all that's it and it can only be done that way one time. Cheating takes away all that trust and belief and it takes two strong people willing to compromise and be patient to even begin to come back. If you're as good as you say your are you need to go back to the beginning and date her and make her promises you will keep AND keep your eyes on your prize and leave the street hoochies alone. You have to be patient so she can work through her feelings and learn to trust again. It's not an overnight process and after cheating you deserve to suffer in the meantime.

Name: McNasty

Comment: Good question Jazzfan! The fact is with all he's asking for his answer should be in the affirmative!

Name: GoldenLady

Comment: This 'good' man contradicts himself. First he asks "Is the love they share not strong enough for both to realize that love and sex are not intertwined but two separate entities that so many of us get confused?" then states "Physical bonds have not hold if there are no spiritual, emotional, and mental bonds." This is the primary reason why you DO NOT CHEAT ON SOMEONE YOU CLAIM TO LOVE. If sex and love were two totally separate entities then sleeping w/ someone who was not your mate wouldn't ever matter and thus no need would occur to write an essay to Advice Chick to see if she agrees with you for wanting to sleep around. This guy is so 'good' he already knows he's wrong. SMH

Name: PRDC

Comment: I think he is still a good man. Life is something else and no one knows what the future will put in your way. I'm single of course, by choice. I'm surrounded by married people family and friends and this happens on both sides women stepping out and men stepping out, that's something they will have the handle if they get caught. The women are the ones that will fool you, they are doing the same thing. OK, in todays world who would you rather your mate cheat with? Men today want other men and women with women. What is this world coming to that this seem to be the norm. Life is wat it is...I believe as long as God knows your heart you will be fine...its the humans that will judge you and they are doing the same or worse.

Name: moodring100

Comment: Stop Cheating!

Name: DrKnowItAll

Comment: His problem is asking an advice columnist on what a good man is, a female at that... man please.. forget these people that don't know you or your life work... do you and live with the consequences of your action. good and bad... what other people think is of no true concern to you, or shouldn't be..I'm not saying cheatin or stumbling as you put it is right or wrong. I'm saying be realistic about whatever YOU feel it is.

Name: Kara

Comment: I agree with McNasty. Getting over someone who cheats on you is a process. Because this dude is such a "good man," that would make his transgression worst. His mate probably never expected, or suspected that he would do something like that, which in turn, leads to her questioning if she even knows him. Questioning and breaking down his every move, trying to figure out how she missed the signs that would have alerted her to the fact that he was capable of something like this. When you are messing with Ray-Ray, and he is always messing up, when he cheats on you, it hurts, but you aren't completely blind sided by it. When you cheat on a mate, if they choose to stay with you, you have created tremendous obstacles for them to overcome that they don't deserve and didn't ask for, all so you could have a moment of pleasure. You may still be a good man when you stumble, you just might be being a good man to someone else from that point on if she can't get over it!!

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