Sat, Nov 21, 2009
EURweb |
|
Back to the Article »
THE BRIDGE: What Michelle Obama Represents For American Women
|
|---|
| Click here to post your comments. |
|
Name:
Teigh
Comment: Go Darryl. I've been feeling your columns for the last few weeks. They have been keepers! To quote that fabulous Dionne Farris song...this is Food For Thought...or Thought For Food.
You Go Boy! (Respectfully)
|
|
Name:
JAXXIE
Comment: Michelle comes from a close and loving family. She had the encouraging nurture of a mother and a father. The balance serves her very indeed. Michelle had the males in her family vet Barack and they were very willing to do so because they loved her too much to refuse the effort. Unfortunately, that kind of close familial balance does not exist for far too many black men and black women. So, both sides have fallen prey to the influences that are prevalent causing them to walk around wounded and distrustful. I don't know how women can get that balance that nurtured Michelle but I do know at least one thing that they can do: love themselves and having established that love, extend it outwardly. When we black women are positive and comfortable with ourselves, we attract the positive and understand how to reject the negative.
|
|
Name:
Sexee
Comment: I have to agree with you on this DJ the email was out of line and inappropriate. Women want the Obama man but doesn't realize she may not be the Michelle woman. Could it be that the many women do not want to hand over power? It all starts with you. We must have compassion and not grow weiry. Lately,the Doug banks show has been relentless with the same topic, it seems that every week they discuss "why black women can't find any good black men?" It's old. Yes alot of women can't but instead of making it a daily topic each week that is purely for entertainment purposes women and men need to cultivate themselves before engaging in a full-fledge relationship by "understanding your circumstances" and theirs or else you will be "emotionally terrorizing" the person you're with. We all need to take a tall glass of "Grow UP". Our kids are watching. I remember dating a guy that wasn't ready to settle down. He and I would have conversation about life, his hopes and dreams, and any situation that came up in life. He loved me but in his mind he wasn't able to take care of me the way I should be taken care of. Subsequently, we broke up and he got with a woman that was willing to do anything materially to keep him (in short, she was paying). Yet he would come to me and discuss life decisions. He was well aware of what this woman was doing "making him a dependent" but he got complacent and trapped by her misguided efforts of portraying the "I got your back". I told him NEVER be anyone's dependent; your loyalty was bought with a price and she has just devalued you. A strong woman supports not coddles it was disgusting. I think we all need a little dose of "real talk", coupled with "real Listening" and "real action". This will make our relationships more pliable. All great leaders followed once in their lives and some are still following, when we realize this it will make things so much easier.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: Good points, but I don't think the theme of this article is disputable (or groundbreaking really): "be what you want to attract." It's been stated many times before. However, I don't want it to be lost on anyone that the reverse is also true ie "Men, if you want a Michelle, you have to be a Barack": slow to wrath, measured, respectful, etc. In our society a lot times there seems to be this entitlement from men with "here is how you get me" when the reverse is sometimes not offered, so I felt compelled to offer it, lol, conceding that the Good Book does speak of a man "finding a wife" which I guess gives men said entitlement? Hmmm Anywho, (at the risk of sounding contrarian, lol), I have to say it bothers me when people do the "be like this" meme given that no one knows what goes on in a relationship save the two folks in that relationship. And I think that many who point to these two conveniently overlook some things. 1) It is a misnomer to say MO "didn’t care about who was on what level" as if she just accepted any Tom or Harry. Yes she dated BO when he didn't have a lot of money--but he was at Harvard Law School for goodness sake! lol It's not a stretch to think she believed he would have a bright ($) future. So please let that misnomer die already, she was absolutely discriminating in who she chose to date--and there's nothing wrong with that! and 2) It's funny how people try to paint BO into this "perfect husband and father" mold. The reality is he chose his career over his family for many years. Those aren't my words--those are MO's words and what the FACTS show. And his choosing to pursue his political career and thus be away from his family weeks at a time was a strain on the marriage early on. Both have admitted that. So my bottom line is best to tell folks "be the best you YOU can be." For instance, fathers who choose careers that allow them to be there for their families should be applauded, not made to feel inferior because they didn't turn out to be the "leader of the free world." And mothers around the country doing just what MO is doing, raising intelligent, respectful children shoudl be applauded even IF she doesn't make it to the "enviable position of First Lady."
|
|
Name:
smbrown59
Comment: Michelle does have a perm and she is like a lot of other women who are not afraid to sweat it out in the gym. One thing about Michelle is that she knew where Barack was going. She did not just get with him merely on his good looks. She is no punk, so trust and believe she is not some pushover wife who sat back and let her husband make all of the decisions. They work together as a team and they happen to work at their marriage and that is why it works. I hear just as many men bashing women as women bashing men, so (Darryl J) stop being so mysogynistic. It works both ways when it comes to relationships. Two people have to work at it because it can't be a one sided commitment.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: Oooh Darryl, you stepped into the hornet's nest this week. My condolences in advance. I think the article makes a lot of sense, and I agree with you on it. Probably the most poignant line for me was this "Women have been speculating far too much about what men want, but men actually know what we want. Anyone care to listen?" I don't mean to seem like I'm dumping on the ladies, but that's a great deal of truth right there. Different genders tend to speculate about what the other gender wants for a long time in a very flawed way projecting what they want the other gender to want." Darryl, you sure did break it down in this article. Kudos and condolences to you, because I feel some heat coming your way.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: Just a point of information, Michelle and Barack didn't meet at Harvard Law School. Yes, they are both Harvard grads, but she actually graduated several years before him, although he is a few years older than she. She went through school without breaks for work. Law school for MO followed after her undergraduate studies at Princeton. He chose a different road, working as a community organizer for a few years after college and 'then' attending law school. Michelle and President 'Rak met at a large Chicago law firm, Sidley & Austin during the summer after Barack's first year of law school--typically a summer that law students "clerk" at firms. Just an FYI. Carry on.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: My comment is directed specifically at smbrown59, but generally at women who make the comments that she made. smbrown59 said "She is no punk, so trust and believe she is not some pushover wife who sat back and let her husband make all of the decisions." Now if that statement doesn't prove Darryl's point I don't know what does. First, who said anything about Michelle being a punk or pushover? Why do so many Black women associate the notion of "supporting their man" with "being a pushover?" Where did this concept come from? I hope that what I'm highlighting is just a disconnect in the way that we talk, but honestly I hear this type of comment a lot from women, many of whom are without men (or 'suitable' men) in their lives. And every time I hear it I still shake my head at the ridiculousness of the comment. No disrespect, just that the attitude proves and reproves Darryl's point over and over. Just saying.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: Further on the FYI. At the time of 'Rak and 'Chelle's meeting she was already working as an associate lawyer with Sidley & Austin (I believe she was in her first year).
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: 'In other words, many American women have turned themselves into something that American men simply do not desire,'
This article speaks nothing but the truth but it is also going to open up a hornets nest.
I have a good girlfriend that helped me organize my nifty fifty and she ended up talking to an older friend of my husbands through the evening. Later in the week my husband was touching base with his Shriner Brothers of which this man is one and he asked my husband to ask me why I never let on how many beautiful black women I knew. He wanted her phone number - it took me several weeks to exchange the numbers cause I know her and I know him and I ain't no matchmaker and wanted no part of the fallout I knew would come.
He celebrates his indian heritage and took her to an annual pow wow - later they called and asked to come over. Cool, she expressed giddy delight and strong like for him. My advice was to not show this man her panties before he learned her colors or anything else substantive about her. They left and she called the next after noon - needless to say I was deeply disappointed that they didn't spend more time talking. She got her back up when I stopped talking - justifying it by saying something like I'm grown and can do what I want. I told her I didn't want to walk with her through the mess she surely created.
She set a pattern by what she allowed to happen that FIRST night and tried to get upset that he would come on Friday and not want to leave til Sunday. Had she said no or not made the first move things would have turned out different. I said all that to say she is back to being bitter and all men are dogs and has yet to realize that she is inflexible and uncompromising (doesn't go to a gym so in my eyes is lucky to be able to still attract) and cusses like a sailor - but its anyone's fault but hers.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: Exmun, no one said MO met BO at Harvard. I stated she met him while HE was at Harvard. I'm well aware of their bios.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: I wanna know why a woman has to be referred to in masculine terms in order to be a strong woman. "Michelle ain't no punk' has no place in this discussion about give and take and supporting the man through whatever and believing he will do the same for me. If my husband were not around I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could support myself on my own - I started out that way. When I married I gave over enough of myself that he knows I need him and he acts accordingly. I let him be the man - sometimes even deferring to him even when I already know the answer or solution. Not a game - just me not trying to encroach on his manly territory.
I love him to life and would do anything to keep him as content as I am.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: Exmun that statement caught me too but I decided to let a man respond to it. I will say that most women know what they want to the problem is men and women are choosing people to be with that they can't communicate with. If it don't fit don't force it and that's what has happened. When we approach each other and relationships with more than lust and loins we'll start having more successful marriages and fewer brothers and sisters crossing the vanilla divide.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: I don't know if people are intentionally misrepresenting SmBrown's post or if they really don't comprehend the larger point of his/her post. Clearly this article (like many of the writer's article) was myopic in its approach to this subject. All the poster was saying is "there is another side." Geez...
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: You're right TGen. My apologies for inferring too much.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: TGen, just for clarification, my above apology was inferring too much about your comment re: when Barack met Michelle. I don't think that I was taking smbrown out of context. She pretty much said what she meant and I think that was rather clear.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: Whatever Exmun, I think your choosing that one sentence out of the whole post (a post which had an obvious angle and larger point) was disingenous, esp when you factor in DarrylJames's history as a social commentator which I'm sure SmBrown was aware of, ie how the tone of James' work often has a "women better shape up to be good enough for these men" tone. This article was no different, and SmBrown was just sharing that "women have a point of view too." I think you know what she meant, I really do. SmBrown, am I representing your thoughts correctly?
|
|
Name:
Sexee
Comment: Real women support their family. That's not second fiddle but first string. We as women have willing gave up our feminity in the pursue to out do or be as good as a man. To be honest rearing a family helps in stratgey, planning, organizing & executing it's in our nature and it makes us INVALUABLE. Why aren't we appreciating who and what we are? We have the most powerful positions and that's shaping the future. My son is going to college and I am on top of him about what type of woman to find to make his wife. I told him you can be successful alone, you can be invaluable with the right woman. Behind every great man is a greater woman; you better choose wisely.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: "Behind every great man" I hope that's a typo. I think you meant "beside."
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: TGen, now perhaps you are missing MY point about why I highlighted smbrown's statement. It isn't that I didn't get her larger point. It's that the statement suggests a certain false thought that I've heard from many women to the point that it appears that they are making that thought a foundation of "strong womanhood." And that kind of defeats Darryl's larger point... that if you're trying to attract a man, best ask a man what he wants. Let me put it to you this way, most men that I know don't want THAt version of a "strong Black woman." I'll repeat, most men I know ain't checking for a woman who leads off with "I ain't no pushover ... yada yada." It's a non-starter type statement. So whether that was smbrown's point or not, I'm trying to tell you as a man, that statement coming out of a woman's mouth AT ANY TIME is extremely unattractive and is not the sort of thing a man is drawn to. I presume that heterosexual woman are looking for the feelings of heterosexual men right on what is attractive?
|
|
Name:
JAXXIE
Comment: McNasty, I hope that there are women who will read your comments and take them to heart. Some of us have no patience when it comes to relationships and think that everything has to set out all at once.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: Like I said Exmun, whatever. Your choosing to focus on that ONE line from that post because it hurts your (or man's) ego is evidence of SmBrown's point. This "entitlement" you feel, like everything said to men has to be said a certain way else their egos will be challenged, and God-forbid a woman say something to challenge a man's fragile ego, lol, all while he feels it's his place to tell her what is and is not acceptable. Yeah okay. You are wrong Exmun for focusing on that one statement when she said so much more.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: Thanks Jaxxe! If I thought that way my husband and I wouldn't be together. I was there for him through the difficult times - he was unemployed for quite a while. But I didn't see it as me supporting him - I sawit as me supporting us and I'm glad I did as he is now on the career path at Marriott which provides unbelievable perks that make it possible for us to travel more.
LOL! that's not why I love him though - he's one of the good guys.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: TGen, for real sistah, she did prove DJ's point whether or not you're willing to admit it. I appreciate her post but had she read this article thoroughly she would realize that and that he writes from the perspective of a man (which a lot of us women like). We are his balance and that's why we're regulars on his board - you enjoy being his nemesis.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: TGen, when a woman WANTs to know a "man's" perspective on what men want, they should listen to what men way. If I want to know what a woman wants, what attracts her, what keeps her into me, Imma ask a woman. Period. Me focusing on a single statement isn't anything different that what you, I or any of us do on this board daily. And my male ego didn't feel entitled or crushed because yet another woman said something silly that many many women do over and over again. I just pointed out a thing that is unattractive to men. Don't shoot the messenger in your tirade to prove and reprove Darryl's point. If you want a man's perspective, ask a man.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: Cosign McNasty. This discussion kind of reminds me of an older married gent who talked about how his wife would always dress in things that he didn't like. One day he asked her whether she was dressing to attract him or for herself. Now, the point made is somewhat controversial, because it's on the line of male control over women and the whole nine. But in the context of a committed relationship where a certain woman wants to receive or keep the affections of a certain man, the question needs to be asked whether she should be doing what he likes and what attracts him. The same goes if the man is trying to attract and/or keep the affections of a certain woman. Shouldn't he be doing for her what attracts and keeps her?
|
|
Name:
leeneepoo
Comment: Well, me for one...I am a MO. Work hard, raised family, educated, teacher, and all the other attributes a successful woman acquired. Yet, my marriage was not with a BO. Although it appeared that way initially due to putting trust in lies and deceit. Being direspected in hindsight if there is such a thang, and finally woke up although it did not take that long to realize what the what was. Now I'm at point where I am repositioning myself to determine the caliber of men I choose because there is something wrong in terms of my manly choices. Yeah, you hard working and appear to be a confident man and respectful but then thangs change and you wonder what you intially missed in the beginning of the relationship and how you dare to missed those negatives....I guess being caught up in the rapture and parade of things and missing all floats passing by. Now not being part of the parade you can actually see whats happening...I'll always continue to pursue and be a MO all because the process makes me feel good as a woman.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: McNasty: "We are his balance" Say WHAT? lol What kind of "balance" do you EVER offer on this thread McNasty? You are a PARROT, I've never read you NOT co-sign DarrylJames, you act as if he is ALWAYS right and you are ANYTHING but "balance" to his perspectives. That's a big "lol" righ there McNasty. Exmun, I'm not "shooting" you, I appreciate your "listen to a man if you want to know what a man thinks" perspective, truly I do. I just thought SmBrown provided a MUCH needed "balance" (McNasty, are you paying attention?) to DarrylJames' article, which reeked of entitlement. He has proven to be virutally unable to provide "balanced" social commentary on relationships. I just find it too easy to jump on ONE sentence said in the midst of a very good post by a poster who attempted to do what DarrylJames is [apparently] unable to do. A woman says she's not a "punk" does NOT mean she won't let a man be a man--taking it as that is a man's bringing in his own insecurity as I stated earlier, instead of him just accepting "okay, this is a strong lady, I'm a strong man, cool" and letting it be all that SmBrown intended it to be--just a woman saying "we have a stake in this too." I just wish you (some men) weren't so reactionary. Allow women to own their inner strength just like you do yours. I for one appreciate SmBrown saying it cuz Lord knows posters like you McNasty wouldn't ever dare, lol.
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: Honestly, TGen, you proved my point on this topic last week when you tried to get me to thank you for some shyt I don’t even care about. You wanted to force me to be appreciative of you reading my column, when I don’t give two shyts about whether you do or don’t. Too many people do that in relationships. It’s just grating to keep hearing Black women tell Black men how much they should love and appreciate this and that type of woman, when we love and appreciate the type of woman we want. Period. If we don’t want you, don’t be mad that we don’t want you, just go find someone who does. If you think that’s a whyte boy, go for it—just don’t throw it in our faces as though it’s our fault you’re with him, or like you’re hurting me by doing it. As for old ignorant tired “misogynistic” accusations from the likes of angry ignoramuses like smbrown59, just shut up already. Are you a friend of Michelle’s? Then how the FOKK do you know that she “knew where he was going?” How do you know she has a perm? You sound like a stupid misandrist. Who told you Barak or any other man tried to push her over or punk her? Stop making shyt up! Call me misogynistic, but freaks like you come out the gates with contrary stupidity when you think I’m speaking against women, but say NOTHANG when I write pieces about how men need to shape up. And TGen, if MO said that BO chose his career over his family, it was because he knew his WIFE was on deck to allow him to have a powerful career. Ever heard of TEAMWORK? Of course not. You think that McNasty is somehow in error for not opposing me for the sake of opposing me. It’s as though you want her to oppose me just so that you can feel better about looking for the counterpoint, when there really is none. If our thoughts are aligned, there is nothing wrong with that. You are a crackpot who LOOKS for something wrong just to be contrary. Smbrown 59 is “balance” because she called me misogynistic? You don’t find balance here because you are off balance. You can’t listen to men if your life depended on it, and that is the point. But you won’t listen and you won’t shut up. Sad…
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: TGen, If a man just blurted out "I'm a strong (Black) man" my first thought would be what inferiority complex is he hiding. That is all.
|
|
Name:
DOne
Comment: Good article. I've enjoyed the comments. One thing that I think every single man and woman needs is a good, well adjusted, platonic friend of the opposite sex, even if it's a relative (a parent doesn't count). At the end of the day, men spend to much time talking to other men about women and vice versa. Quite frankly we just tend to read each other wrongly. Exmun, is correct, no man wants here a woman say how strong or independent she is. He is intepret that as she saying I don't need a man. If she's truely strong, she doesn't have to say it; it shows in her character. By the same token, no woman wants to here a man who talks about about himself without showing any interests in her dreams. We both have to be flexible and supporting.
|
|
Name:
DOne
Comment: Exmun, actually anytime I hear someone say "I'm grown" man or woman, I know I'm dealing with a grown child and not an mature adult lol
|
|
Name:
MelodyCool
Comment: TGen, I'm sure you're well aware at this point that Darryl is not interested in fostering better relationships between Black women and men. He needs a bunch of sycophants to co-sign on his regular diatribes directed at Black women. The bottom line is he knows Black women and ALL non-Blacks as well are acutely aware that Black men are slavishing devoted to any woman as long as she is not Black. Even biracials will admit the same. Have you ever checked Darryl out on Blackmenvent or that site for Diary of a Mad Black Man? Black men want us to stick around as back-up units during their time of need...nothing more. Black men are also aware of the change in mentality once Black women fully come to grips with what we "already" know about them.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: lol DarrylJames, you never fail to disappoint...you are SO predictable. In the very article in which you praise Barack Obama, you do the exact OPPOSITE of him in your response to commenters. SmBrown is a "freak with contrary stupidity" and I'm a "crackpot who's off-balance." You think your hero would EVER speak to a woman (or anyone he disagrees with for that matter) like that? And you wonder why women you meet feel they have to azzert their strength? How ELSE would ANYONE interact with a reactionary blowhard who chooses to disrespect at every turn with anyone who even hints at disagreement (or in my case, not even really disagreement, just providing another angle)? I suggest you use your OWN column as a mirror, DarrylJames. Btw, "when I write pieces about how men need to shape up." Huh? You've done this? lol I can't recall and I've been reading your articles for a good minute. Hmmm
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: Agreeing with his perspective doesn't make me a parrot - makes those of us that do agree like minded and it does not take not living life and consuming all the news to get there. Not agreeing wouldn't normally make you his nemisis - but for the fact that you pick and dig and twist and mis interpret to beat the band.
When you live long enough you'll learn to see both sides - at this point you can't see the forest for the trees nor do you listen to reason. I pray you grow in knowledge as you grow in age cause a college degree only means you had some extra time on your hands, not that you have any intelligence. You proselytize to get back and the longer you go on the more you contradict yourself and the more you call names the smaller you get.
I didn't insult you but you insulted more than me little girl, check the boards where I am agreeing with what is written and see just how many 'parrots' there are. Then check where your pompous ranting as.s is standing - always in the same damn spot trying to prove the same damn nothing.
You prove the college experience ain't for everybody - some of y'all need to get some street and real life experiences too.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: You two have shown yourselves to be just a waste of skin.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: McNasty, "parrot" = repeating what is said. That is more a description of you re DarrylJames' writings than my calling you a name--and I stand by it. In the year or so I've been reading his writings, I can only remember you praising everything he's written. Now that that's out of the way, you are WAY out of line. You don't know shyt about me, despite what you think. I might "pick and dig" on this guy's articles because I find problems with what he says and even more problems with your and some others' willingness to just accept is as gold. That does not make me "pompous" or a "little girl" or "college-educated but not street-educated" or whatever other inane insult you can hurl at someone you don't know. And your "waste of skin" tripe is so Darrel-esque of you, lol. "Waste of skin" = "shouldn't be alive." So I shouldn't be alive because I called you a parrot? Wow. It REALLY ain't that dang serious. (But your saying that does make me better understand how you are so smitten with DarrlyJames' words, yall are two peas in a pod, lol). smh
|
|
Name:
JAXXIE
Comment: Melody and TGen, [stepping back from your exchanges thus far on this board] if the rift is as bad as you see it between black men and black women, do you reckon that it can be bridged? How do you relate to black men, or do you relate to black men? Does it work for you? Darryl is sharing his perspective which is not absolute. There are men and women who will agree, agree with him in part as well as disagree with him. There is no monolithic thinking or behavior on this issue.
|
|
Name:
bannedntheusa
Comment: TG...I will make now the fourth man who raised his brow at sbrowns statement. True to form..im sure u will think it has some.n to do w/insecurities when it not. You claim that she provided some balance but went out of balance with ur suggestion that D is incapable of such and the notion that Nas parrots him. MAyb she agrees with his perspective on relationships. But u want everyone else to support your take on things and have the nerve to talk "balance."
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: Like minded folks tend to make similar statements - that's not parroting but since you spend so much of your time digging in the man's as.s you wouldn't know that. His word isn't law and yours certainly isn't you're semi bitter and have come to just take up space - explains your long and ranting posts. You're young and one can tell - you still have a lot of growing and maturing to do but there is nothing wrong with what he states in his articles. You just want him to be all pro woman, to not tell the truth and shame the devil. Like I told you, I can see both sides - been around long enough. You only see you - lonely with news and talking heads for company. No real life experience. You could learn some of the male perspective and position yourself to attract a decent life mate but you're as hard headed as the day is long and as wrong as two left shoes.
Lookit I said you were a waste of skin - and I mean that. I did not say I want your tired as.s dead but that's how you twist shyt. I wish you could be somebody's 'esque' cause what you're bringing is akin to a big ole bucket of shat - stank self.
Besides that my posts don't read like his articles - you with a college degree can't see that? You can't see the difference - you don't see how many other posters I can converse with along the same lines? - sometimes education is wasted.
Praise? You are over the top but more of this is beneath me so you stay down there and know that whenever you come here - I'll still be here and if you want to call it parroting I'll still call you a waste of skin.
|
|
Name:
McNasty
Comment: 'How do you relate to black men, or do you relate to black men?'
They don't! TGen lives here so she ain't seeing anyone to relate to!
|
|
Name:
MelodyCool
Comment: TGen, you go to the heart of Darryl's writings, and anyone who blows up his spot get the royal psycho treatment. I'd completely ignore this nut if I saw him in public. He's a walking timebomb. He lives to get under the skin of Black women, and he's worried to death that "ol' faithful" is slipping away and not going for the okey doke. He needs to stop relying on smoke and mirrors cause it ain't working.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: Jaxxie, I didn't say anything was "as bad" as anything, you have me mixed up with DarrylJames who claims that marriage and Black love is all but extinct. I never say things like that. In fact, I rarely post on relationship threads because I find them tiring. But to your other questions, yes I absolutely relate to Black men--I have one, lol. And I absolutely did not disagree with ALL of Darryl's article (I rarely do) and even STARTED my initial post with "Good points..." Banned, I'm not sure what stake you have in the convo, why you feel compelled to anaylze me and what you think I want ie "everyone else to support my take." Never said anything of the sort, I just appreciate HONESTY. I HONESTLY don't know how a woman could support a man calling a woman a "bytch" and telling her to "go die," which is exactly what your girl has done on more than one occassion. My azzessment of her re parroting Darryl was spot-on, which is maybe why she felt the need to show her ignorance with the stupid "waste of skin" digs. McNasty, I "LIVE" on here? Seriously? You post on EVERY story EVERYDAY. I do not. You've been posting on this site for years. I have not. I come here to pazz away my work day. I don't "live" on here. Just because my posts tend to stand out does not mean I post more than others. I do not. The rest of your post is too ignorant to justify rebuttal. I will let you "old wise one" reflect on how you're representing yourself and hopefull come to your senses seeing how low you've stooped on a thread that really, I mean REALLY ain't that damn serious. MelodyCool, lol. I won't reach as far as you but I will say I think you're right that Darryl is incapable (Banned, he has PROVEN THIS) to disagree without being abusive. And I think it's so wonderfully ironic to point this out with an article HE wrote about a man HE respects who would NEVER speak with the kind of abusive language he does. So wonderfully ironic!
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: TGen, I’m going to toss your words back at you. You said: “You don't know shyt about me, despite what you think.” That’s how I feel when losers such as yourself and smbrown not only disagree with me, but tell me who I am and what my experiences are. You don’t know me, so just say you disagree and we’ll be cool. But you can’t do that. You make statements that are more about me than what I write and then get offended when I give it back to you. You even pretend you know Michelle Obama. You said: “She was absolutely discriminating in who she chose to date--and there's nothing wrong with that!” How do you know that, loser? We know what her friends say, so why would you disagree with that? You call people parrots when they agree with me, but what about you being all over smbrown’s tip? When you grow up, perhaps you’ll learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Like Dragnet: Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts. And, as for balance, just because you haven’t read all of my work, doesn’t mean that you can speak on the work. I think as Darryl James, I know my work better than you who lacks reading comprehension skills. You are as nutty as MelodyCool who keeps bringing up sites that I have never even been on, or the Mad Black Man site where I stand by what I wrote about a woman I know personally. The difference is that I know you angry evil, loopy crows don’t represent ALL Black women. You don’t even represent most, Thank God. I’ll just be glad when you LOUD losers die off with your cats and empty houses.
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: At the end of the day, I’m glad there are grown, intelligent people here and the other outlets who can read and get my point, which is promoting a shining example of American womanhood that can make families stronger and all of us happier. I don’t know why that’s a bad thing, since I wanted to take the focus away from the negativity people keep finding with BO and the rest of Black manhood.
|
|
Name:
TGen
Comment: DarrylJames: what makes me a "loser?" Seriously, what do you know about me or anyting I've written that constittes "loser" or "illiterate" or "nutty?" These are words I've never been called by anyone before so I'm interested to hear your take. Also this re MO being discirminatory: "How do you know that?" BECAUSE I HEARD HER EXPLAIN HOW SHE MET HER HUSBAND. And SHE MARRIED A MAN WHO WAS AT HARVARD LAW SCHOOL. She could have EASILY settled for someone before that time (she was 28 I think), but she didn't. THAT'S how I know. And I have NO idea why you would choose THAT out of all I said to point to as showing me "nutty" or "loser" or something! I don't even know how/why that's disputable! Just wow. P.S. When did I claim to know you? All I know of you is what you write, that's it. I don't recall ever claiming otherwise. Hmmm P.P.S. This might shock you, but many people in my real life consider me "a shining example of American womanhood," Gasp! I know, shocker! lol Sooo agreeing with you and not challenging you is not an indicator of someone's worth. Just something to think about. Digress...
|
|
Name:
oldschoolbrother
Comment: This topic has created a firestorm each time it is mentioned. I have heard discussions on this even in my church so not shocked what emotions it has evoked here on the EUR board. I read the article over and over again and agree with the author. That is just my opinion Thanks brother and keep up the work.
|
|
Name:
MelodyCool
Comment: @TGen..."Sooo agreeing with you and not challenging you is not an indicator of someone's worth."...So true. I must make a note to keep googling Darryl's name cause I want to be "on it" the minute he self-destructs...and oh it will happen. The man has major "issues"...he loathe Black women with common sense.
|
|
Name:
Exmun
Comment: Got damn TGen, the point of the article is ask a man if you want to know what he likes in women if you want to attract that man... or how about another point ... be someone like Michelle Obama if you want to attract Barack. You act like that's all that controversial. It's not. It's just that this is an article written by a man, from a man's perspective. Damn, there isn't anything controversial about a male perspective. Truth is, you didn't really have any beef with the 'article.' You just took offense when I checked smbrown's comment, which many on the board took some issue with it also. I just don't get why you won't admit that. If I wanted to attract a woman, I'd ask that woman in subtle ways what she wants and try to be 'that' man to her. 'That's' not that controversial.
|
|
Name:
smbrown59
Comment: "DJ", first let me say that I am a frequent reader and I enjoy your topics, but I was assuredly taken aback by your knee jerk reaction to my comments. I was disappointed, but not surprised by your vulgarity laced diatribe directed at me and TGen. By the way, TGen, thank you for covering my six (my rear) from the "misogynistic" attackers, which includes McNasty. McNasty, McNasty, McNasty, initially your statements were your own, but as the commentary progressed or should I say digressed, you truly became a parrot for "DJ", a big bird that could not nor would not fly independent of its handler ("DJ"). In summation my comments were intended to show that you know less than most about Michelle, Nubian hair care, and the depth of black women. My statement, " She is no punk" did not suggest that anyone attempted to take advantage of her in any way. My statement was a compliment to her intestinal fortitude, diligence, and dedication to purpose. DJ and McNasty this is the first time that I have blogged, but it absolutely will not be my last. So DJ, in the future when you are getting the literal blogosphere beat down, certainly by that which you fear the most, a strong black women, think of TGen and because we know what buttons to push to get on 90% of your nerves:-)
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: I already knew it, but you confirmed it. smbrown you are a feminatzti nut job! What I fear most? An internet thugette? You and TGen are anything but strong, because if you were, you would not feel the need to attack and be contrary for the sake of it. And if you were strong, you wouldn't be so offended by comments aimed at your attacks. If you can dish it, take it or keep it to yourself. And, since there were others who thought the two of you were wrong and nutty, why only aim your brain shyt at two people? Take your meds and go to sleep stupid! I fear few things, but some anonymous contrary loser on the internet is not on the list. Go straight to hell, freak.
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." Sir John Lubbock
|
|
Name:
Janissi
Comment: Thank you, smbrown59, TGen and MelodyCool for being the voices of reason. After reading Darryl James' commentary, I felt as if black women should bow down and thank their lucky stars that a black man would give them the time of day. Women, you are to sit down, shut up, and be whatever your man whats you to be or, God-forbid you'll...BE ALONE. Well, if a man cannot appreciate an independent, yes, I said it, woman who can speak her mind and be her, than he can bounce. So, let me ask you. What does HE have to do keep HER? Oh, that's right. I guess if a sister wants to keep that brother, she better put up that strippers pole in the house if he so desires. Be sure to sit at his feet and hand him his newspaper when he gets home. God forbid if he has to do anything to make YOU happen.
Thank God I'm with a man who is not as insecure as so many brothers are. I can be me and express whatever feelings I have w/o him thinking I'm trying to "out man" him. Of course many men will cosign with this author because if a woman does exactly what Darryl James suggests, it works in your favor, doesn't it men?
|
|
Name:
Janissi
Comment: Correction: God forbid if he has to do anything to make you HAPPY.
Another thing, unfortunately women have fallen into that male entitlement trap. Well, sisters, if keeping a man means turning back flips or making sure you wipe his azz, than more power to you. Like I stated, thank God my man isn't like that. We please one another. If anything, HE's more of a giver than me. And you know what? That makes me want to make him happy even more. It's a give and take people. Men grow up and quit looking for a mama.
|
|
Name:
MelodyCool
Comment: Janissi, isn't it amazing that someone with such a short fuse is constantly calling women who disagree with him and see through his drivel "losers"? Mark my word we are going to see him on the nightly news for some horrible offense against a woman. What kind of relationship expert behaves in such a base manner?? Darryl despises Black women...no two ways about it. Don't support his azz in any shape or form!
|
|
Name:
DarrylJames
Comment: Blah, blah, blah...all this brain dirt about the man you crows secretly love, but none of you evil dogs bothered to answer the questions posed by I believe Jaxxie--just hatred on me and threats while claiming supreme victimhood.no real effort at building--all about destruction and personification of Darryl James. ...and that's why I called you Losers.
|
| Back to Top |
| Click here to post your comments. |
| Back to the Article » THE BRIDGE: What Michelle Obama Represents For American Women |
|---|
...
