J-HUD ADDRESSES RECENT RUMORS ON MYSPACE: Oscar winner sets record straight on ‘$3 million movie role’, Burger King and ‘Soul Train.’
*Along with the awards, accolades and validation surrounding her “Dreamgirls” role as Effie White comes gossip, rumors and heartache for novice superstar, Jennifer Hudson.
Just days after taking home the Oscar for her performance in “Dreamgirls,” reports began surfacing that she turned down $3 million to star in a film because it had a nude scene. That repot was followed by her infamous Burger King quote that led to the fast food restaurant offering her free food for life. Most recently, Hudson was reported to have tried to cancel her appearance at the recent Soul Train Music Awards at the 11th hour, only to have Don Cornelius call Clive Davis, who reportedly phoned Hudson and said, “Get your ass on a plane to L.A.” before hanging up.
Hudson addresses all three of these rumors in the following message posted on her MySpace page:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=22135156&blogID=240882238&MyToken=1db1a5b8-822f-4a0a-84d1-a9d58031a383
hey guys. once again i think its time to address these rumors thats been going on about me. there are 3 main ones that has been floating around and i want to address them personally so you guys can know the truth
1.) i turned down a movie role for 3 million dollars because of a nude scene and i wasnt the person getting nude. nothing about that is true. i want to do my album. and my fans have waited so patiently for me to put out an album and i appreciate everyone of you, thats why im focused on putting out my first project. and yes i will continue to still do movies.
2.) all of the american idol stuff and burger king comments. i never said anything about if i was better at burger king i would not be there either. and yes i did say american idol was a stepping stone. which it is! i didnt mean it in a bad way. and as i said in my previous interviews american idol is a stepping stone because had it not been for them no one would of knew of a jennifer hudson to call to audition for dreamgirls! its like everything i say referring to the show gets twisted around and makes me look like im being arrogant and a "diva", since alot of people seems to have that opinion about me and that is not me at all. im not bothered by these rumors because im use to it but i do read the boards and i see my fans are upset by some of the negative rumors concerning me and that is what hurts me the most is to see people who care about me being impacted by all of this.
3.) the soul train awards show and me trying to sabotage it by not showing up. only thing i can say to this is that i was there! and i appreciate being honored there just as much as i appreciated being honored at the all the award shows i attended. but once again im just writing this for my fans, supporters, and friends who want to know the truth. i am a person with feelings and although i have been warned that things like this would happen to me. and since i am new to this let me be the first to tell you that i have sat back not to long ago just like you guys .I read things about my favorite artist and let me tell you since im experiencing this first hand you guys cant believe everything you read because its not true. o one more thing. im grateful for all my blessings and i thank God for it everyday and no amount of fame will ever go to my head and make me think that im better than anyone because we are all equal. and as quickly as God gave everything he has given me he can take it away!
ANOTHER ‘DOLEMITE’ MOVIE IN THE WORKS: Rudy Ray Moore to exec-produce and possibly take a role in new remake.
*“Dolemite,” the 1975 blaxploitation film to end all blaxploitation films, is about to get a 2007 upgrade.
The remake rights to the film, created by comedian-writer-producer Rudy Ray Moore as a parody of the blaxploitation genre, were purchased by filmmaker Bill Fishman and will include Moore as an executive producer.
The title character is an ex-con who joins a crew of “kung-fu fighting girls” in an attempt to regain control of his nightclub. While in jail on false charges, Dolemite’s nemesis Willie Green took control of the venue. In his quest to reclaim the nightspot, Dolemite has run-ins with the bumbling detectives, who not only framed him, but are trying desperately to get him back behind bars.
"I think there is a certain sincerity in the original that is kind of undeniable," said Fishman, who will also direct the film. "(Moore's) a cult figure and a luminary ... He's an original.”
Moore created the Dolemite character during his years as a stand-up comic. The alter-ego appeared in several of his comedy albums.
Fishman's Fallout Entertainment company is about to begin casting for the movie, and has already had discussions with several comedians and rap stars, including Snoop Dogg, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
"(We are) giving enough respect to the original and building on it," said Fishman, whose credits included "Car 54, Where are You?" and "Tapeheads." "We are going to use some of the original one liners. (Moore's) eminently quotable."
Fishman hopes the production will begin in the fall. The film is set in Los Angeles, but he said there are discussions about shooting in New Orleans.
ROBIN THICKE MAY SCORE WIFE’S NEW FILM: R&B star in negotiations to provide music for Paula Patton’s urban drama.
*Robin Thicke is currently in talks to write his first film score for the upcoming film “This Wednesday,” an urban drama starring his wife Paula Patton as a pimp.
The feature, from writer-director Christine Crokos, is based on the true story of a female pimp in Atlanta.
Best known for her roles opposite Denzel Washington in “Déjà Vu” and Andre Benjamin in “Idlewild,” Patton will play Wednesday, the "trick baby" of a pimp father and prostitute mother.
"Wednesday" will be expanded from Crokos' 2001 short "Heroine Helen," about the same character. Shooting is expected to begin late this year in Philadelphia.
Thicke, the son of actor Alan Thicke, is enjoying his fifth week at the top of the R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart with his hit single, “Lost Without U,” from his album “The Evolution of Robin Thicke.”
NAOMI CAMPBELL REPORTS FOR MOP DUTY IN STILLETOS: She ignores press while entering warehouse to begin community service.
*As expected, paparazzi was in place and waiting to capture images of supermodel Naomi Campbell Monday morning as she arrived at a Lower East Side Sanitation Department warehouse in New York to begin her community service.
Campbell rolled up to the Manhattan District 3 Garage at Pier 36 on the Hudson via black SUV and bypassed the assembled reporters, news cameras and photographers without saying a word. Her ensemble of black patent stiletto boots, dark shades, chocolate pants, black jacket and newsboy cap were accented by a pair of dark paratrooper work boots slung over her shoulder.
According to TMZ.com, the runway diva spent her first day cleaning offices and sweeping floors in the garage. She also reportedly “chit-chatted” with fellow co-workers. She was not allowed a cell phone (by mandate of the court), nor was she allowed to smoke.
Campbell has four more days of cleaning before completing her court-ordered punishment for throwing a cell phone at her housekeeper, Ana Scolavino. The 36-year-old was also ordered to attend a two-day anger management course and pay more than 350 dollars to cover Scolavino’s medical expenses over the March 2006 incident.
Unlike singer Boy George, who had to do community service outside in full view of the media, Naomi’s sentencing judge allowed her to be assigned to work indoors. The judge also granted Campbell's request to delay her service until after several fashion shows.
Last week, Campbell said she would auction off the jeans and boots she wears during her community service for charity.
"It'll go straight to the Nelson Mandela Children's Fund," she said in a recent newspaper interview.
RAY-J OFFERED FILM DEAL BY PORN COMPANY: But the gig would be behind the camera as a director.
*X-rated film company Vivid Entertainment, the folks behind the Ray J/Kim Kardashian sex tape, have reportedly offered Ray J a deal to direct four upcoming adult films.
TMZ.com reports that Brandy’s little brother was offered the four-picture deal in the wake of his infamous sex tape, which he also “directed” by apparently choosing the placement and angles of the video
camera before engaging in his “on-camera work.”
Vivid CEO Steven Hirsh tells TMZ: "Our first conversations were very uncomfortable, but after continuing to talk, the possibility was definitely in the air."
STEVE HARVEY’S RADIO SHOW PULLS BIG RATINGS: Latest numbers in NY market top Don Imus and ‘Opie & Anthony.’
*New York has wrapped its arms around the Steve Harvey Morning Show. The comedian, who hosts his syndicated four-hour program weekdays at WBLS-FM, ranks No. 1 among urban stations and No. 5 overall in the Big Apple, known as the nation’s largest and most competitive radio market.
The feat is impressive, considering the New York landscape is usually ruled by raunchy shock jocks such as Opie and Anthony and Howard Stern, before he took his dog and pony show to satellite radio.
"I was concerned about it," Harvey told AP regarding the launch of his show 18 months ago. "But I am who I am. I can't stop being who I am. I'm not a mean-spirited guy."
In fact, Harvey begins each show with 12 minutes of gospel music and God talk. While some skeptics didn’t think his style would survive against such morning drive urban powerhouses as Miss Jones at Hot 97 or Egypt and Ashy at Power 105.1, Harvey has quietly surpassed both stations in the ratings, and is even pulling bigger numbers than Don Imus’ popular syndicated show, “Imus in the Morning.”
Harvey credits God, but also his own comedic skills: "You can't beat me in the funny department. You can beat me in the information department, you can get me in the looks department — not many guys," he tells AP. "But in the funny department, you can't beat me."
The Steve Harvey Morning Show now airs in 45 markets via Premiere Radio Networks, including Los Angeles, St. Louis, Chicago, Detroit, Washington, Miami and Philadelphia.
EUR FILM REVIEW: Blockade
Battle of Leningrad Revisited by WWII Documentary
Film Review by Kam Williams
*The Battle of Leningrad was the longest engagement of World War II, lasting 900 days, from September 8, 1941 till January 27, 1944. It also was one of the bloodiest, claiming over 1,500,000 lives, most of them civilians.
The Nazi strategy during the siege was to surround, shell and firebomb the city while simultaneously starving it into submission by effectively severing all of its connections to the outside world.
Eventually, Lenigrad's stockpiles of supplies ran out, and the unfortunate souls trapped inside had to make do without fuel, electricity or running water. So, given the erosion of the infrastructure and the harshness of the Russian winters, it is no surprise that many soon succumbed to exposure to the elements.
Directed by Sergey Loznitsa, Blockade revisits the events surrounding the epic conflict, but strictly from the Soviet perspective. Culling from recently-unearthed, archival footage, the gifted director has gone to great pains to reconstruct a realistic reenactment of the entire ordeal, even adding a soundtrack of special effects to the previously silent film.
The picture unfolds chronologically, so we first see people going about their everyday business in a bustling metropolis. Initially, the only clue that something might be amiss is the periodic presence of soldiers and anti-aircraft guns.
But then it becomes clear that they are preparing to defend themselves from an invasion, and this tableau, in turn, is supplanted by visuals of burning buildings, corpses left to lie on the street, and other evidence of the dire dystopia that is war. Perhaps Blockade's most compelling moment arrives when we find folks peering into the sky to soak in the spectacle of a fusillade which looks identical to a fireworks show.
Yes, the USSR ultimately prevails over Hitler, here, but clearly at a cost which makes the Battle of Leningrad the epitome of a Pyrrhic victory. A bird's eye view of man's inhumanity to man.
Excellent (4 stars)
Unrated
Running time: 52 minutes
Studi First Run/Icarus Films
NE-YO LEFT WITH FOUR UNUSED BRITNEY SONGS: Singer-songwriter may just give them to lead Pussycat Doll.
*The recent breakdown of Britney Spears has rippled through the industry to reach the patience of singer-songwriter, Ne-Yo.
According to Contact Music, he had written four songs for the pop star to use on her upcoming album, but things skidded to a sudden halt after Spears had her public meltdown and had to go into rehab.
Now stuck with four hot songs without a home, Ne-Yo says he may just give them to Nicole Sherzinger, the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls.
Explaining his Britney frustrations, Ne-Yo said: "We set up no less than four sessions for Britney to just come and listen to the songs I wrote for her. She never showed up.
"I think they want me to hold these songs that I've written until she finishes going through her thing. But a couple might be perfect for The Pussycat Dolls' Nicole Scherzinger.”
EUR DVD REVIEW: Blood Diamond
Action Flick Featuring Oscar-Nominated Performances Out on DVD DVD Review by Kam Williams
*Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), a soldier of fortune from Zimbabwe, is in Sierra Leone to exchange arms for diamonds with the highest bidder, whether that be the government or the rebel led Revolutionary United Front (RUF).
A white Rhodesian bitter about the loss of his birthplace, he could careless how much blood is shed during Sierra Leone's interminable civil war, as long as he can profit from the slaughter.
By contrast, Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou), a local fisherman, would like nothing more than to escape from his homeland. But first he has to find his family which has vanished amidst the chaos. Luckily, Solomon had the good fortune to find a priceless stone while being forced to dig for diamonds at gunpoint by the outlawed RUF.
Meanwhile, Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), an intrepid American journalist, is in the country doing research for an expose' she wants to write on the role that the diamond industry plays in the continuing controversy by its unethical emphasis on profits over principles. It's not hard to guess that the fates of these three strangers become intertwined in Blood Diamond, a taut, if simplistically drawn thriller directed by Edward Zwick (Glory).
Set in Sierra Leone in 1999, the movie is at heart a high body-count adventure although it is also heavily layered with sentimental subplots at every turn, from the unlikely-buddy relationship between Danny and Solomon to a budding romance between Maddy and Danny to Maddy's maternalistic concern for the whereabouts of Solomon's kin. DiCaprio and Hounsou turn in Oscar-nominated performances in service of an action flick where they're upstaged by ubiquitous savagery.
Ultimately, all the loose ends of this well-meaning fairy tale are tied together nicely, albeit a tad too sappily for those who know what a hellhole of ethnic cleansing Sierra Leone was really like.
Good (2 stars)
Rated R for expletives, ethnic slurs, and graphic violence.
Running time: 138 minutes
Studi Warner Home Video
DVD Extras: Director's commentary and a theatrical trailer.
FILM/TV BITS: Terrence Howard’s back zits?; BET’s ‘Runway’ ratings; Nicole Richie to council kids on nutrition.
*The New York Post’s Page Six is quoting a taxi driver who claims to have heard Terrence Howard requesting something strange and quite disgusting of “a tall blond woman” while both were in the back of his cab. “He was talking very loudly and said, 'I want you to pop the zits on my back with your teeth,' and then leaned forward and yelled at me, 'And you can tell Page Six!'," the driver told the column. However, a rep for Howard says the man referred to by the taxi driver had to be an imposter, as the “Pride” actor "was in New York but wasn't in a taxi."
*Wednesday’s premiere of BET’s “Rip the Runway” drew 1.5 million households and 1.9 million total viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research, boasting an impressive 32% gain over last year's premiere.
According to BET, the special now reigns as cable's No. 1 fashion-themed telecast of 2007. The special included fashion lines by Mychael Knight, Jordan Brand, Apple Bottom, Amaya Swimwear, The Steve Harvey Collection, Monif C. and LRG. Musical performers included Jermaine Dupri, Nelly, Rakim, Musiq Soulchild, Lloyd, Big Gip, Ali, Paul Wall, MIMS and Rich Boy. Reruns will air on March 21 at 10 p.m.; March 24 at 11 a.m. and March 29 at 9 p.m.
*Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton will spend their fourth season of “The Simple Life” as camp counselors, according to reports. One place is described as a wellness camp that stresses yoga, exercise and proper nutrition, the latter of which has been a very public struggle for Richie in the past year. "They are doing five camps in five weeks," a source told the New York Post.
EVENT CALENDAR: Alpha Phi Alpha in Baltimore; NY African Film Festival; LG’s Texting contest; ‘King Hedley II’ extended in NY.
*Members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. will convene in Baltimore for their 75th Eastern Regional Convention, to take place from March 29 through April 1 at the Baltimore Waterfront Marriott Hotel (700 Aliceanna St.). The theme for the convention is “Celebrating the Past, Preparing for the Future.” The Eastern region extends from Maine all the way down to Virginia, including chapters in Germany and Bermuda. Eastern Regional Vice President Dennis G. Kemp, Sr., who will preside over the event, said of Alpha Phi Alpha membership: “These are leaders in their respective communities, and we will help chart the future of these communities during our stay in Baltimore.” Highlights for the convention include:
• Public Program, Thursday March 29, 2007 6:30 PM, Baltimore Waterfront Marriott Hotel, Feature Speaker: Dr. Freeman Hrabowski, President UMB • MLK Memorial Luncheon, Friday, March 30, 2007, 12 Noon, Baltimore Waterfront Marriott Hotel, Featured Speaker: Dr. Walter Kimbrough, Jr.
President, Philander Smith College, Little Rock, Ark.
• Book Drive for Baltimore Public Schools, March 30 – 31, 2007, All Day, Book Drop-Off point in hotel lobby.
• “Suits for Success” – Alpha Wives/Sweethearts are collecting suits to provide young ladies who are looking to re-enter the workforce. All day Saturday, March 31, 2007 (designated area) • Collegiate Scholars Bowl – Friday, March 30, 2007 6 PM • Ms. Black and Gold Pageant – Friday, March 30, 2007 7:30 PM • Regional Step Show Competition – Friday, March 30, 2007 follows Ms. Black and Gold Pageant.
• Ecumenical Service - Sunday, April 1, 2007, 8:30 AM Featured Speaker: Dr. Hayward Robinson, Peoples Community Baptist Church, Silver Spring, MD
*The 14th Annual New York African Film Festival launches on April 4 at the Film Society at Lincoln Center, then continues to the Bronx Museum of Arts and Brooklyn Academy of Music with dates in April and May. This year marks the 50th anniversary of the first sub-Saharan nation to gain independence -- Ghana -- and also concentrates on filmmakers throughout the African Diaspora. Key nights are: April 4, when Ruby Dee will host the screening of her late husband and parter Ossie Davis's film set in Africa; April 5, the opening night gala; April 7, the Centerpiece Selection and a tribute to Bob Marley, hosted by his widow Rita Marley and Danny Glover; and April 12, a bling-free screening of Bling: A Planet Rock, a documentary bringing U.S. hip-hop artists to Sierra Leone to get a first hand look at how blinging in the hip-hip world contributed to the 10-year civil war there. Other notable films take up rape as a tool for war, dance as an expression of African struggles and the Amadou Diallo case. Young male and female directors will also be highlighted. For more information on the African Film Festival, Inc., go to www.africanfilmny.org and www.filmlinc.com. Tickets for Film Society of Lincoln Center screenings are $11 for the general public, $7 for Film Society members and $7 for students with a valid photo ID. Monday through Friday before 6 pm, senior citizens with valid ID will be admitted for $7. Beginning March 15 tickets are available online at www.filmlinc.com or at the Walter Reade Theater box office. For additional information go online to www.filmlinc.com or call 212-875-5600.
*LG Mobile Phones will launch the first-ever organized text messaging competition, the LG National Texting Championship, with a competition to find the West Coast Texting Champion in Hollywood. The event begins at 2 p.m. on Saturday, March 31, at the Paramount Studios lot located at 5555 Melrose Avenue in Hollywood. Players will compete for the title of LG's West Coast Texting Champion and $10,000 in cash along with a trip to New York City to battle the East Coast Champion for an additional $15,000. In addition to the main purse, there will be opportunities throughout the competition for eliminated players to win thousands in consolation prizes, giveaways of LG electronics and freebies. Players must use an activated LG enV or The V by LG mobile phone to compete. To register for the LG National Texting Championship, please visit www.LifeWithLG.com. Registration is open to the public at www.LifeWithLG.com and is required for entry to the event.
*Signature Theatre Company will extend its revival of August Wilson's King Hedley II one additional week, to April 22. The Derrick Sanders-directed staging, starring Russell Hornsby, began previews Feb. 20 with an official opening March 11 at Signature Theatre Company's Peter Norton Space (555 W. 42nd St.). Tickets for the extension week are $65. Tickets to the main run were $15 each (which helped fuel the audience rush for seats. "Set in a backyard in the decaying Hill District of Pittsburgh, King Hedley II follows the characters created by August Wilson in Seven Guitars," according to Signature. "A woman is tormented by a secret she has kept for 36 years, while her only son returns home after serving time for murder to find a neighborhood riddled with crime, poverty and broken families. King's epic struggle to survive is at the center of this poetic portrayal of life in the inner city during the 1980s."
CONCERT CALENDAR: Prince in San Fran; Teddy Pendergrass in Philly; Talib Kweli on tour.
*Prince will perform at The Orpheum in San Francisco this spring as part of the second Citi/AAdvantage Card concert series, “Traveling Through Life.” The shows, which carry the theme "3 Cities, 3 Concerts, 3 Journeys, 1 Card,” will also present Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds at the Citi Performing Arts Center's Wang Theatre in Boston on April 20 and Christina Aguilera at San Diego's Civic Theatre on May 21. Prince’s concert is scheduled for late May. Tickets for all three shows go on sale at noon EST today (3/20) exclusively for all Citi /AAdvantage credit card members at www.privatepass.citi.com.
*The Teddy Pendergrass Alliance (TPA), a non-profit organization founded by the R&B legend, is behind a June 10 event at Philadelphia's Kimmel Center to benefit spinal cord injury survivors. "Teddy 25" will be hosted by comedienne Mo'Nique and will feature Patti LaBelle, Ruben Studdard and Stephanie Mills among the performance lineup. Pendergrass, who was paralyzed from the waist down after a near-fatal 1982 car crash, will premiere a new song written specifically for the occasion.
*Talib Kweli has been tapped to headline the fourth annual Virgin College Mega Tour (VCMT), which kicks off April 7 at the House of Blues in Las Vegas and wraps May 5 at Johnson & Wales University in Providence, R.I. Pop-punk band Sugarcult and former Something Corporate guitarist William Tell are also on the bill. The on-campus villages will be free to students and open between 1 p.m. and 6 p.m. Concert doors will open between 6:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. Tickets will cost up to $20 in some markets and will be given away for free in others. So far, 12 of the 18 show dates have been announced: San Diego's 4th & B theater (April 8), Los Angeles' House of Blues (April 9), the University of Arizona (April 10), Utah Valley State College (April 12), University of Maryland (April 19), Massachusetts' Stone Hill College (April 20), New York's Mount Saint Vincent University (April 25), University of West Virginia (April 27), and New York's University of Rochester (May 4).
ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
© - AdviceChick@ameritech.net – (312) 205-0850
Dear Advice Chick,
*I’m a 28 year old lady. A couple weeks ago me and my girls went to a club and I met one fine brotha! He was so nice, and said really sweet things to me all night. He said I was so pretty, and sexy, you know. Stuff like that. Yes, I had a few too many drinks and me and the brotha ended up at my crib doing the do. I apologized to him and told him I don’t usually have sex so soon. Before he left he said he understands and believes me. He also said he would call me later so we can hang out next week. That was over two weeks ago and he hasn’t called yet. I mean I understand if he doesn’t want to see me again, but why would he take my number and then not call? Believe me I just want closure on the whole thing. He probably can’t handle a lady like me anyway.
Advice Chick replies,
Da hell? A “lady” like you? What, a lady that meets a strange man at a club, takes the strange man to her home, and then has sex with the stranger within hours? You call that a lady? I’ve had one night stands in the past, and they’re anything but lady-like.
He whispered sweet nothings, got what he wanted, and bounced. He said he’d call as a “let me get the hell out of here” card. Men know what we want to hear. Closure, huh? The next time you want “closure,” CLOSE YOUR legs!
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Send YOUR questions to Advice Chick right NOW! Please put “Dear Advice Chick” in the subject line so your email isn’t deleted as spam. Thanks! advicechick@ameritech.net.
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Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! She is THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com, and calls on over 11 years of dating and relationship industry experience.
THE MO'KELLY REPORT: It's Forbidden to Attend an Ex's Wedding
*Spring is almost here…the weather is getting warmer, the birds are singing and the bees are buzzing. It’s that time of year in which love is in the air and the wedding invitations flow freely. And Mo’Kelly is usually not at said weddings…at least not when the invitation comes from the bride.
Mo’Kelly just can’t do it.
In fact, Mo’Kelly won’t even officially RSVP his regrets. “She” should know the law and it is both explicit and clear. Don’t waste Mo’Kelly’s time or your postage. Most women/brides-to-be, may not respect the law or conveniently choose to ignore it…but it is the law and women need to treat it as such.
Y’all know what Mo’Kelly means.
About two weeks ago, Mo’Kelly was reminded by a former…er…uh…ex, that she was getting married. Our former romance didn’t last all that long and we’ve remained friends in the time since. There hasn’t been a lot of communication in the recent years but an occasional email here and there will be exchanged…usually about something we both find humorous. In truth, we haven’t even physically seen each other in quite some time, maybe not this century even. Our rapport is nothing remotely disrespectful to her future husband.
No real names will be used here as to protect the guilty…but to the woman who is getting married on May 12th of this year, uh…no, Mo’Kelly won’t be attending your wedding. Every man reading this already knows why. Every woman reading this SHOULD already know why too. Don’t play dumb.
It is very clear in the 10 commandments of dating. It’s in bold print near the top of the page.
“Thou shall not attend the wedding of any ex in which there is shared carnal knowledge.”
Don’t get Mo’Kelly wrong, there are plenty of instances in which guys will routinely disrespect this law, but we all surely know the law. Mo’Kelly has never been married, but if/when he does jump the broom, you can best believe he wants to be the only person at the wedding or reception with carnal knowledge of the bride.
Note, Mo’Kelly said “person” and not “man.” These days, you just never know…there might be a woman in the house who “knows” your wife-to-be in a biblical sense too. Let’s keep it real, it’s 2007.
That’s not asking a lot, you would think. Unfortunately, it’s a law more often broken than respected. Christian wedding etiquette has the bride’s guests on the left side of the aisle (if you’re facing the wedding party) and Jewish tradition is opposite. But in both traditions, there is no place reserved for exes. Their seats are on the couch back at the crib. Exes are to stay their a$$es at home. You can send a gift, but stay away from the ceremony and reception.
It’s the law.
No groom should feel the need to scan the audience and wonder who might be a former ex. No groom should have to watch his wedding video and see your punk a$$ smiling and sending the happy couple your “best wishes.” It’s not about whether the groom is likely ever to find out about your shared past; it’s the principle of the matter. Big Worm in “Friday” said it best.
“It’s about principalities!”
The tricky part is that men and women differ on the “definition” of an “ex.” Women love the fine print. A man should always familiarize himself with his woman’s “fine print.”
If you ask a woman who constitutes an “ex,” customarily only those with whom she had a committed relationship with for an “acceptable” amount of time are included in the discussion. And it’s pretty hazy too on the time frame of what is deemed as “acceptable” to her. Not only that; her “exes” only include those men recognized with the official title of “boyfriend.” It doesn’t include the guy that took her home from the club. You know, that night she just doesn’t discuss and acts as if it never happened.
THAT guy.
It doesn’t include the guy SHE took home after the club some other night either.
That OTHER guy too.
And you best believe she “took somebody” or “got took” given all those nights she spent at the [insert name] Club. Fellas, don’t think that just because you had enough game to take someone home that your eventual wife wasn’t a woman who someone else took home on occasion.
You can best believe it happened.
It doesn’t include the guy(s) she’s had the various and sundry bootycalls with over the course of 5 years or so.
None of them.
It doesn’t include the guy (or guys…plural) she happened to meet while at Freaknik or the Bayou Classic. And yes, every woman has “met” someone or “someones” while on the road. And yes Mo’Kelly means plural for some women. Everybody remembers that “chance” meeting at the gas station or in the KFC parking lot during NBA All-Star Weekend or Black Biker Week which led to a change in plans for the rest of the night for one or more people.
All together now…”What happens at Freaknik or NBA All-Star Weekend”…(finish the sentence).
You can best believe it happened, both for you and for your wife-to-be. It’s happened to Mo’Kelly (read: his woman) and Mo’Kelly’s made it happen (read: someone else’s woman). He’s been on both sides of the equation. You win some, you lose some.
Mo’Kelly has seen some stuff that will make you look at life (and your woman) in a whole different way. And Mo’Kelly’s guessing that these women have all eventually married, or close thereto. They are all likely wives now…but Mo’Kelly remembers them when…
Fellas, Mo’kelly sees you nodding your head in agreement.
And somebody remembers your wife too, “way back when.” That’s just the way it is. It doesn’t mean the man “did” it, just might have been there when your woman was caught in a compromising position. He might have just held the camera or hid under the bed. Doesn’t “necessarily” mean he is a guilty party…per se.
For example…
To the stripper/college student/aspiring model who “performed” at Neal’s bachelor party with a house full of Omegas back in ’92, we the Ques STILL salute you and your fabulous performance. The Ques still talk about your dedication and attention to detail in your “moonlighting” endeavors with great affection and appreciation. And yes, we still have the pictures.
Oops, that was a real name. Mo’Kelly’s bad.
Dear “wife of Neal,”
Neal was an absolute angel at his bachelor party. You need not worry. It was the rest of us Ques acting a fool on that occasion. No joke. Seriously, it was only the rest of us disrespecting our relationships at that time.
Love,
Mo’Kelly
But Mo’Kelly digresses…
To the truth of the matter, that’s just how we as men are wired. For every woman a man “knows,” it does not matter how long ago it may have been. It’s the FIRST thing remembered upon re-introduction.
(Mo’Kelly walks through a mall, happens upon an old flame walking with a man, holding hands).
“Mo’Kelly so nice to see you. It’s been like…forever. This is my husband…Ray Ray.”
(Mo’Kelly shakes Ray Ray’s hand)
“Nice to meet you Ray Ray…” (to woman) Well, (insert woman’s name) it HAS been a long time. You look well. So good to see you… (voice switches to autopilot.)
When Mo’Kelly’s voice switches to autopilot, the rest of the conversation is a ruse to allow semi-subtle eye contact with the old flame to convey he remembers what, how, where and how many times he did it with and to her. It’s not right, it’s not polite…it’s just the truth.
It’s just the way it is. Fellas, you can keep on nodding in agreement.
Once upon a time, a relative of Mo’Kelly once asked whether it would be cool to invite one of her ex-boyfriends to her nuptials. Mo’Kelly just about passed out.
That woman knew better and had no business even posing the question. There are just some things you don’t do. It doesn’t matter whether the liaison was 5, 10, 30 years ago. It does not matter that he and you don’t feel the same way anymore. It doesn’t matter that the dude may now be a monk and lives in a monastery in Tibet. It doesn’t even matter if it was a scant, toe-curling 20 minutes of alcohol-induced whimsicality…the law is clear.
“Thou shall not attend the wedding of any ex in which there is shared carnal knowledge.”
So to any of you who may happen to see Mo’Kelly at anybody’s wedding, you can rest assured he has no history with the bride. He may have “held the camera” or hid under the bed, but nothing else. Mo’Kelly respects the law. Mo’Kelly will be free on May 12th…and is free to attend any and all bachelor parties in perpetuity.
Best wishes to the darling couple come May 12th …yada, yada, yada (switching to autopilot).
The Mo'Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. This just happens to not be of those “meaningful discourse” days. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex. For more Mo’Kelly, http://mokellyreport.blogspot.com. Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.
THE BRIDGE: Ghettos of Our Minds
By Darryl James
*Across all socio-economic levels, we can find African Americans who refer to some portion of the Black community, or some Black behavior as “Ghetto,” a word that was originally used to refer to any area filled with people from similar racial or ethnic background live, typically separated into inferior conditions. Historically, Ghetto was most used in reference to the areas where Jews were forced to live, particularly in Nazi Germany.
It is not only a shame that we have adopted a word that has always been negative, but is now no longer used in reference to anything original. Yet, the word “Ghetto” is now clearly and interminably, a Black thing, baby. And, that’s not a good thing at all.
All things Black or remotely Black are referred to as “Ghetto,” but only in the most negative light, including any lower social behavior or related lifestyle. For example, when we see Black people acting without the social graces we are taught to pursue, we call them Ghetto, ignoring the fact that whites in the trailer park are prone to the same behaviors, but rarely, are those behaviors ever referred to as Ghetto.
For some of us Ghetto is the new cool, and we use the term to label every aspect of our behavior, even when it is no different from anyone else’s behavior. In a video for his single, “Been There, Done That,” Dr. Dre performs a tango that he obviously took professional lessons to learn. Yet, he referred to it as the “Ghetto Tango,” simply because Black people were doing it.
Another, perhaps more crucial difficulty with our relationship with the word Ghetto, is that we have embraced the term in our minds, creating a slave mentality that follows us up the economic ladder, where we find middle class Negroes referring to themselves and specific aspects of their behavior as Ghetto, when they should be celebrating in their joy of being out of the Ghetto.
And, even worse, we have been relegated to the Ghetto of the American consciousness, where we are thought of in Ghetto terms, no matter whether we are demonstrating our most base behavior as Flava Flav and Bobby Brown or exuding our finest dignity as Barack Obama and Denzel Washington.
For many non-Black Americans, we are rarely considered outside of so-called Ghetto situations. James Baldwin outlined this clearly, in Notes of a Native Son.
“One may say that the Negro in America does not really exist except in the darkness of our minds,” penned Baldwin, as the voice of white America. “This is why his history and his progress, his relationship to all other Americans, have been kept in the social arena. He is a social and not a personal or a human problem; to think of him is to think of statistics, slums, rapes, injustices, remote violence...as though his continuing status among us were somehow analogous to disease.”
Baldwin was outlining the Ghetto-ization of the African in America, illustrating how important it is to keep us in our place mentally (our own minds as well as theirs), if not possible physically.
Baldwin went on: “If he breaks our sociological and sentimental image of him we are panic-stricken and we feel ourselves betrayed. When he violates this image, therefore, he stands in the greatest danger…we uneasily suspect that he is very often playing a part for our benefit.”
In other words, House Niggers who realize that walking through life with dignity as Black men or women has a certain jeopardy attached to it choose to coon and buck dance their way around being identified as a “threat” to America. And even the noble mental slaves, including our most refined entertainers and politicians who speak against us recognize the threat, and so choose to target others, by identifying the “Ghetto” Blacks and their “Ghetto” behavior as America’s intrinsic problem with Black people.
By serving up specific targets in the Black community (who are typically unaware and generally defenseless), noble mental slaves are hoping to avoid being targeted themselves.
We see this with brain dead comedians who extol the divergences between “Niggers” and “Blacks,” and we see it when any of us refer to some of us as “you people.”
Some of us with dignity refuse to use the word Ghetto in universal reference to Black people or Black behavior, any more than we accept the word “Nigger” as a universal label for some or all of us.
Still, others of us dance a precarious dance with the word “hood” that threatens at any point to take on the same meaning as Ghetto, even though with more subtlety.
If we are going to break the chains of our negative experience in America, we must first pay special attention to the powerful labels foist upon us, or embraced by us, including Nigger and Ghetto.
Case in point, “Barrio,” a term once widely used to label areas where a high concentration of Hispanics was found, has been relegated to small pockets of society, but certainly no longer wholly embraced by that community.
And, no Jewish community in this nation refers to themselves or their living areas as Ghetto.
At some point, we have to force the reality upon the world that being Black in America is no more organically inferior an experience than being Asian or Italian or Irish, and so no more deserving of being placed in a literal or figurative Ghetto than being Jewish.
But first, we have to force that reality into our own minds.
Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, "Crack," was released in March of 2006. He is currently filming a full length documentary. James’ latest book, "Bridging The Black Gender Gap," is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
BETWEEN THE LINES: Exploitation of the Patriot Act: 'The Devil's On The Line,' All The Time Now
Anthony Asadullah Samad
*"Big Brother" looking over your shoulders is literally in the here and now in the United States. Many are asking the question, "Are there any privacy rights in America any more?"
When George Orwell wrote the book, Nineteen Eighty-Four, in 1949, in the midst of an emerging McCarthyism (the purging of Communist sympathizers in the U.S in the midst of a dawning Cold War's Second "Big Red Scare"), it seemed to be a far-reaching fictitious misnomer that the American government would ever become so obtrusive that no act would go unseen-no conversation would go unheard-and no transaction would go unnoticed.
Yet, 58 years later that appears to be where we are if one were to accept the Justice Department's most recent Inspector General's report that the Federal Bureau of Investigation has abused their authority under the Patriot Act. Ah, that explains why some of my checks are missing.
While you must understand that this is the winking part of the government reporting on the run-away part of the government, the report essentially confirms our biggest fears-that the Patriot Act would one day be exploited-and that a loosing of the people's rights to sure up national security and to purse international terrorism, would one day be used to track anyone the government designates as "domestic terrorists."
The winking part is the highly partisan, Attorney General, Alberto R. Gonzales, in the midst of his own controversy (firing U.S. Attorneys for not being "aggressive enough" on key Bush administration priorities), pretending that the Justice Department is really concerned about protecting citizens rights.
The run-away part is the FBI improperly obtaining citizens' phone, bank and credit records through the use of a "national security letter," an administrative subpoena form that allows them to get around the court's legal process. That's on top of the FBI being able to indiscriminately listen to your phone calls and monitor your internet activity. Historically, there was always a running joke among activists during phone conservations, on the constant clicking, that the "devil was on the line."
No matter how much we try to convince ourselves that (J. Edgar) Hoover is dead, knowing the FBI's history-it is no surprise that it would be the agency called out for abusing the Patriot Act and citizens' private information. Yet, we're there. We should assume that the devil is on the line all the time now. Every line you have-your phone line, your bank line, your credit line, your internet line. Makes you feel much safer from those ole terrorists now, right? Well, who keep us safe from the FBI?
It's not like we've never been violated before by the FBI. Not when you know the history of the FBI, a continuing one of pursuing so-called "subversive groups," and the tactics used to destroy organizations and people. The FBI has always been bi-polar, working to solve civil rights violations while, at the same time, exploiting Americans' civil rights. What started as an effort to keep the nation safe from subversive Communist influences in the 1940s (after World War II), became mostly a domestic counter-intelligence program in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s. The NAACP, SCLC, the Nation of Islam, SNCC, the Black Panther Party, US, CORE, the ADL, NOW, Anti-War Groups, Labor Unions and (some) Churches were all identified as subversive groups during Hoover's Era of "protecting national interests" (Hoover always got permission from Presidents by justifying that it was in the nation's national interests). Even the FBI's more extreme initiatives, the infamous Counterintelligence Program (COINTEL-Pro) that tapped the phones of very civil rights and grassroots leader-even Attorney General, Bobby Kennedy-caused disruption in every black organization and essentially caused the fall of the Civil Rights movement. Then, there was the even more controversial, King Alfred Plan (also called the "Final Solution to the Negro Problem"), a plan for an eight hour round-up and mass incarnation of African Americans in a time of national civil disturbance (like which occurred after the King assassination) to prevent what Hoover called "the rise of another Black Messiah." While assailed-and even dismissed-as largely "conspiratorial," as far as we know-and many are concerned, that plan has never been taken off the table and is still part of the government martial law plan, should a martial law order ever have to be engaged. And trust me, there is a martial law plan out there. Always has been, as part of the nation's national security planning to prevent the destabilization of the Democracy (government). Now, the Patriot Act has given the FBI a "green light" like never before.
So, understand that as the FBI has been a run-away agency for a long time, there was no reason to believe that it would suddenly check itself on this national security initiative. Congress claims "it wants answers." Hell, the FBI didn't give Congress answers when Hoover was alive. It didn't give Congress answers when hearings were held to find out why their "intelligence" didn't know about 9/11. They didn't even respond to Congress'requests on its intelligence on why weapons of mass destruction were never found (they knew better so why dance in the dog and pony show). So what makes Congress think that the FBI is going to tell them what they're doing as part of their anti-terrorism strategy? Particularly, when they take their lead from an administration that believes in not telling "the enemy" what we (the U.S.) are doing to combat terrorism. Only now, the American people have become the enemy too (again), and the absence of accountability only exacerbates the potential for exploitation. And as is always the case, the public only finds out about the violations in the aftermath of them occurring. In other words, "the people" were shafted again.
The talk of putting limits on the Patriot Act should be more than just talk. It's not going to end for as long as the nation is in Iraq (and probably not after that), there needs to be a greater accountability to check the run-away aspects of this privacy invasion. With the watchdogs being chased out of government, how do you check it? That's even a bigger question for Congress to answer. In the meantime, I'll guess we, "John and Jane Q. Public," just have to resign ourselves to being violated-at least until the people reclaim its government. Just get used to the clinkin', the missing checks and cookies on your computer. Spyware doesn't work-the government invented it.
Don't worry. I already know the devil's on my line and in my checkbook, etc, etc. Welcome to the new America where "Big Brother" knows everything about the American people, but knows little about how to find...well, you know. That might explain why I don't feel any safer.
Anthony Asadullah Samad is a national columnist, managing director of the Urban Issues Forum (www.urbanissuesforum.com) and author of the upcoming book, Saving The Race: Empowerment Through Wisdom. He can be reached at www.AnthonySamad.com