OBAMAS SET FASHION WORLD ON FIRE: Barack's style seen on Milan runway; Michelle's 'View' dress still in demand.
*Barack Obama's fashion sense is apparently all the rage at Milan's fashion week, while the designer of a dress worn by his wife, Michelle, is still trying to deal with the item's sudden demand.
In Milan, Donatella Versace used the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee as inspiration for her Spring-Summer 2009 collection presented Saturday evening. Calling Obama "the man of the moment," Versace said the new line was designed for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power."
Meanwhile, in New York, designer Donna Ricco said she had no idea that Michelle Obama would be wearing her black-and-white leaf-print dress, which is available for $99 on her Web site www.donnaricco.com, but was picked up by Mrs. Obama at the White House Black Market store for $148.
"Apparently she just bought it off the rack," Ricco tells the New York Daily News. "I didn't realize until people started calling me, and then I watched the show on YouTube."
Many White House Black Market stores across the country sold out of the dress. In New York, shipments were arriving just in time for next-day demand. Ricco is frantically trying to make 3,000 more for a late-summer delivery.
"She is so classy and so put together," Ricco says of Michelle Obama. "I try to design dresses that can flatter every woman and every shape, and of course Michelle is in great shape, but for her to just grab that off the rack and have it look so great on her, that's a real compliment."
In other Obama news…
*Page Six is reporting that the couple recently enjoyed some downtime with Stoli martinis in the Hula Room at Roy's Restaurant in Chicago.
*Cynthia Nixon, who plays Miranda in "Sex and the City," spoke to The New York Daily News about hanging out with Michelle Obama at a recent benefit. "I told her Miranda endorsed Hillary, but I support Obama. And she told me 'Sex and the City' was the only grown-up movie she's seen in months."
*Florida congressman Robert Wexler, an Obama supporter, writes of a phone call received by the presidential nominee in his new memoir, "Fire-Breathing Liberal." He recounts stopping along a road to help a lady whose car battery had died. He was trying to get her hood open when Sen.
Obama called on his cell phone. "I gave [Barack] some candid advice on courting South Florida voters," says Wexler, "and he had some suggestions about what levers to pull." Later the woman said, "It sounded like you were talking to the President of the United States." Said Wexler: "Well, maybe."
LIL WAYNE, THE GAME GO REMIX CRAZY: Rappers freestyle over Weezy's "A Milli" beat; regional versions of 'Game's Pain' on deck.
*Everyone and their mama – including Lil Mama – has jumped on the Bangladesh-produced beat for Lil Wayne's current single "A Milli" – including Jay-Z, Cassidy, Jadakiss, LL Cool J and yes, even Chris Brown.
The song is built around a chopped-and-screwed sample of a man repeating the song's title over glass-rattling 808 bass. According to MTV, a remix featuring Wayne and Corey Gunz, as well as versions from Lil Mama, Tyga and Hurricane Chris, were supposed to appear on Wayne's album "Tha Carter III" as separate interludes.
Soon, other rappers began releasing their own freestyles over the beat – including Jay-Z ("A Billi"), Busta Rhymes, Fabolous and the Game.
"I just liked the beat," said LL Cool J, who rhymes over the beat on a record he calls "Zodiac Driller." That track appears on Cool J's first ever mixtape, the recently released "Return of the G.O.A.T."
"I did the freestyle because the beat was hot in the streets,"
Fabolous said of his version. "I wasn't struck by anyone else's freestyle. I think Wayne rode the beat on the original, and the concept and format was good."
*Meanwhile, The Game has enlisted Young Buck, Bun B, Jadakiss, Fat Joe, E-40 and Ice Cube for several regional remixes of his current single, “Game’s Pain” featuring Keyshia Cole.
Young Buck and Bun B will be featured on the Southern “Game’s Pain” remix, while Jadakiss and Fat Joe will appear on the New York version and E-40 and Ice Cube will highlight the West Coast edition.
The original track currently sits at No. 22 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart and the remixes will hit radio early next month. Game’s album “LAX” hits shelves on July 22.
JERMAINE SAYS JANET'S READY FOR A BABY: But that was news to Janet, according to Ryan Seacrest.
*Janet Jackson was apparently blindsided by news that her longtime boyfriend, Jermaine Dupri, told People magazine that they're finally ready to have a baby.
"Yeah, soon," Dupri said Sunday at a dinner party hosted by New Era and Belvedere Vodka at West Hollywood's STK restaurant. "Right after the tour." (Janet's North American "Rock Witchu" tour is set to run from Sept.
10 through Oct. 22.)
Dupri– who has a daughter, Shaniah, from a previous relationship – went so far as to say he has no preference regarding the sex of the child.
"It really doesn't matter," he said. "Janet would be a great mom. She was around so many brothers and sisters all her life, so she's got to know what that is [like]. And her mom is a great mother."
Yesterday morning, Janet was asked about Dupri's baby news by Ryan Seacrest on his Los Angeles radio show.
"So, Jermaine...said that you guys may be ready for baby. Is that true?" asked Seacrest.
"When did he say that?" Janet replied.
After Seacrest explained JD's quote from People.com, Janet laughed and said: "I guess he is."
SHAQ RIPS KOBE IN FREESTYLE RHYME: Miami Heat star says it was all in fun, but was it?
*Shaquille O'Neal apparently is not over his rift with former Los Angeles Lakers teammate Kobe Bryant.
The Phoenix Suns center jumped on stage at a club in New York Sunday night and spat an anti-Kobe freestyle that ridiculed his team's loss to the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals, and blamed the league MVP for ruining his marriage.
"I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's why I'm getting divorced," rapped Shaq, likely referring to Bryant's words during his 2003 rape case, when he told Colorado police that he "should have done what Shaq does ... Shaq would pay his women not to say anything."
O'Neal went on to rap about Kobe's inability to help the Lakers win another championship without him. He spat: "Check it/You know how I be/Last week Kobe couldn't do without me." The chorus stated: "Kobe…Tell me how my
a** tastes."
Later Monday, Shaq told ESPN's Stephen A. Smith that he meant no harm by the rhyme.
"I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MCs do. They freestyle when called upon. I'm totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don't forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was rapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don't make something out of nothing."
View Shaq's Kobe freestyle here here: http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=1626146951
NATE DOGG NABBED ON 'TERRERIST THREAT' CHARGE: Gangsta crooner arrested for tailing girlfriend on the 405.
*Singer Nate Dogg was arrested Monday morning in Los Angeles after a woman claiming to be his estranged wife called police to say he was making death threats against her as he drove behind her on a freeway.
According to TMZ.com, both Nate Dogg and the woman were pulled over on the 405 freeway and questioned separately. Police decided to arrest Nate for making terrorist threats and driving on a suspended license.
The thug crooner, born Nathaniel Hale, was due to enter the medical ward of the Twin Towers jail in downtown L.A. He suffered a debilitating stroke last December.
REMY MA'S VICTIM SUES RAPPER, LABEL FOR $160M: Makeda Smith-Barnes still trying to collect from artist over shooting.
*Makeda Barnes-Smith, the woman who was shot in the abdomen by Remy Ma and lived to tell the tale, has filed a civil lawsuit against the rapper seeking $160 million in compensatory and punitive damages.
Filed Friday with the Bronx County Clerk, the lawsuit comes nearly two months after a jury found Remy Ma guilty of the charges. According to Allhiphop.com, Barnes is claiming emotional damage, permanent injury and lingering ailments caused by Remy’s decision to flee the crime scene rather get her help.
Barnes is also seeking compensation for defamation of character as a result of the original accusation of theft that started the argument that led to the shooting.
Remy Ma, currently serving an eight-year sentence at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women, is being held personally liable for $100 million in the lawsuit. Another $20 million is sought from Remynisce Records, Sure Shot Records, the Universal Music Group, Universal Music Investments, Universal Music Group Distributions and Universal Music Canada, as they held a vested interest in promoting Remy's public image.
Barnes also wants any financial profit the companies and Remy as an individual have made since the July 14 shooting, as a direct result of having “publicized and promoted the incident.” The lawsuit further seeks an injunction to have all Defendants turn over any future profits made from the promotion of Remy Ma or Remy Martin’s name, image, reputation, and music.
Since the shooting occurred outside of the Pizza Bar, a nightclub in the Meatpacking District of Manhattan, Barnes has also named the venue and its parent company POP 3, LLC as defendants in the suit, for continuing to serve Remy after she was “visibly intoxicated.” Each entity is also being asked to pay $20 million.
ICE-T VS. SOULJA BOY: Hip hop O.G. explains YouTube beef with teenage rapper.
*And so it has come to this. The latest hip hop beef to hit the Internet – played out in back-and-forth clips on YouTube – is between O.G. rapper Ice T, age 50; and 17-year-old rap sensation Soulja Boy.
It all started last week when Ice T appeared on a mixtape intro that blamed Soulja Boy for "single-handedly killing hip hop" with his single "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" and suggesting that the youngster "eat a d**k."
(View here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHCN2bHp_7k)
Soulja Boy retaliated with his own YouTube clip in which he made fun of Ice T's age, his real name (Tracy Lauren Morrow), his role as a cop on "Law & Order: SVU" and the fact that he reps the West Coast but was born in New Jersey. (View here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr8B2dnIvR4&feature=related
Ice T came back again with an explanation of how his original Soulja Boy dis came about, saying he "went on one" when producers of the mixtape asked him to comment on the current state of hip hop. Ice T apologized for telling Soulja Boy to "eat a d**k," but maintained his position that the teen's music is a disaster.
"A brother of my caliber shouldn’t be talking down on a youngster of your age," said Ice. "But as far as your music goes, it's garbage. And I'm saying that for all of hip hop, homie." (View here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8J4jBRgT8g)
Allhiphop.com got an exclusive with Ice T to get to the bottom of the beef.
“I’d like to clarify how all this s**t jumped off,” Ice-T explained. “I was in the recording booth doing a mixtape, and the cats in there doing the promotion were f*cking with me. They were saying things about ‘Soulja Boy this, Soulja Boy that’ and basically I went on one. It wasn’t meant to be evil, it was basically that Hip-Hop ‘n*gga f**k that’ stance.”
“I didn’t expect them to use that clip to promote their mixtape,” Ice-T reasoned. “So I’m in the crib and n*ggas is calling me talking about Soulja Boy is replying to you on the Internet. And I’m like ‘replying to what?’ So I see it and I’m like ‘man here we go.’ It was a statement made behind closed doors, not meant to be an attack on this n***a.
"I didn’t even know dude was 17 years-old,” Ice continues. “I felt bad. I know I came hard at the n***a, but at the end of the day that’s just an old school, passionate Hip-Hopper trying to keep this thing 100. I’m not trying to disrespect Collipark or even lil homie [Soulja Boy]. Of course I overreacted…it’s not meant to be harmful. Bottom line is I would like to see rappers of today step their game up.”
Read the rest of Ice T's comments here: http://allhiphop.com/stories/news/default.aspx
JILL SCOTT ANNOUNCES ENGAGEMENT: Singer reportedly breaks the news at recent Carnegie Hall gig.
*Jill Scott is apparently hearing wedding bells again. According to ParlourMagazine.com, the songstress was performing at Carnegie Hall over the weekend when she announced her engagement to Jon Roberts, the drummer in her band.
According to Parlour, Scott had performed several encore songs when Roberts presented her with a bouquet of flowers and a kiss. She told the crowd about their engagement and was met with wild cheers and applause.
Afterward, she gave the audience another encore.
This time last year, Scott was in the midst of divorce proceedings with her husband of five years, Lyzel Williams, a DJ and graphic artist.
They dated for seven years before exchanging vows in the fall of 2001 in Hawaii.
Williams was the source of inspiration for many of Scott’s songs, including “He Loves Me.”
NAOMI CAMPBELL TO REP YVES SAINT LAURENT: Supermodel escapes jail house and lands at French fashion house.
*Just before Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty Friday to assault, French fashion house Yves Saint Laurent issued a statement announcing that the supermodel will front its new autumn-winter 2008-2009 advertising campaign.
Photos for the effort, headed by YSL designer Stefano Pilati, were taken in March, about a month before her incident at London's Heathrow airport.
The 38-year-old is also part of Italian Vogue's all-black July issue, joining models Iman, Alek Wek, Mounia and other black models in the publication's stand against racial discrimination in the fashion world.
Campbell was sentenced to community service in London on Friday for assaulting police on board a British Airways plane. She was also ordered to complete 200 hours of community service and pay over $5,000 in fines.
WENDY WILLIAMS PREPARES FOR DAYTIME DEBUT: Shock Jock's new talk show to sneak next month in four markets.
*Wendy Williams will invade daytime TV beginning July 14 with a six-week sneak peak of her new daytime talk/variety series, "The Wendy Williams Show," airing in New York, Los Angeles, Dallas and Detroit on FOX stations.
From real-life advice to hot celebrity guests and the latest in news, fashion and lifestyle, Williams will cover all bases while entertaining and interacting with her live in-studio audience.
Each hour-long episode will begin with a “Hot Topics” segment that takes input from the studio audience. Each show will also feature an “Ask Wendy” advice segment and will put the spotlight on the “Truth Booth,”
allowing Wendy and her audience to provide advice to a mystery audience member.
“I’ve been bitten by the TV-bug – moving into television is a natural progression for me and the 22 years I’ve spent in radio has prepared me for it," Williams said in a statement. "I’m ready to give everything I have and show my fans and the rest of the world a side of me they haven’t seen.”
Filmed in New York and airing weekdays exclusively on FOX-owned stations, The Wendy Williams Show will be televised in New York on WNYW FOX
5 at 10 a.m. (ET) and air in Los Angeles/KTTV FOX 11 at 1 p.m. (PT); Dallas/KDFW FOX 4 at 11 a.m. (CT); and Detroit/WJBK FOX 2 at 12 p.m. (ET).
As previously reported, Williams is being sued for sexual harassment by her talent booker and publicist Nicole Spence, who claims the radio diva's husband dominated her workplace, physically abused her and repeatedly propositioned an employee.
The lawsuit also names Kevin Hunter, who is Williams' husband and manager, and Inner City Broadcast Corp., which syndicates Williams' radio show, "The Wendy Williams Experience."
ALFRE WOODARD HEADED TO NBC: Actress to star opposite Christian Slater in new drama series.
*Alfre Woodard, last seen on the small screen in ABC's "Desperate Housewives," returns to television opposite Christian Slater in NBC's new Jekyll and Hyde-themed drama series "My Own Worst Enemy."
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Slater plays a mild-mannered suburban dad, named Henry, whose alter ego, Edward, is a suave spy. Woodard will play Edward's tough and astute boss at Janus HQ. She also has an alter ego, who gets to interact with Henry.
Woodard is the last major cast addition to "Enemy," joining Slater, Mike O'Malley, Yara Martinez and Saffron Burrows. The project is slated to air Mondays in the fall at 10 p.m.
Woodard received two Emmy nominations in 2006, for her yearlong stint on "Desperate Housewives" and for the miniseries "The Water Is Wide."
DON IMUS IN TROUBLE AGAIN: Radio host brings up race during conversation about Pacman Jones. Plus, suspended player wants to drop his nickname.
*Don Imus is back in the headlines after a statement he made Monday morning on his radio show regarding suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones.
During an on-air conversation with sports announcer Warner Wolf about the player's arrest record, Imus asked, 'What color is he?'
Told by Wolf that Jones is 'African-American,' Imus responded:
'There you go. Now we know."
Civil rights leader Al Sharpton addressed the comment in a statement released late Monday.
"It has been reported to me that statements were made by Mr. Imus this morning and National Action Network has monitored his show since his return. I find the inference of his remark disturbing because it plays into stereotypes. Any use of stereotypes is always counterproductive. We will determine in the next day or so whether or not his remark warrants direct action on our part as we did in April of last year."
Imus was fired from his previous show after calling the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed hoes."
Pacman, meanwhile, said Saturday he wants to be addressed by his
given name from now on.
"There's really just a lot of negativity behind it," Jones said of the "Pacman" tag, which dates back to his early years. "It's just time for a change, man. I'm doing everything to make sure that I'm all right as a person, mentally and emotionally."
Jones is doing everything he can to persuade NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to lift his suspension in time for Dallas' Sept. 7 opener. Jones missed all the 2007 season with the Tennessee Titans following a list of off-the-field legal drama.
After speaking to about 60 kids at a basketball camp hosted by Dallas Mavericks forward Brandon Bass on Saturday, Jones expressed his desire to drop the nickname given to him by his mother when he was a baby.
"My mom is going to call me 'Pacman.' That is what it is. I can't change that," Jones said. "I'm not saying that my teammates won't call me 'Pacman' on the field. But for the most part, I want to be Adam or Mr.
Jones."
ITTY BITTY BITS: Timbaland wedding; Pele robbed; Hendrix guitar; J.Lo's demands; BET Awards "surprise."
*After tying the knot in sweat suits on June 10th in Virginia, producer Timbaland and his wife Monique Idlett had a more formal second ceremony on Sunday in Aruba, with Missy Elliott and Kerri Hilson among the hundreds of guests on hand. According to People magazine, vows were exchanged in Orangestad, the capital of the island. Timbaland, 37, and Idlett, 33, had been dating for 2 1/2 years, and welcomed a baby girl, Reign, last November.
Idlett has two other children.
*Soccer legend Pele was reportedly robbed by an armed gang of youths in Brazil. According to the weekly Veja newsmagazine, the crime took place when his chauffeur-driven car was stopped in traffic near Sao Paulo. A group of 10 gun- and knife-wielding youths surrounded the vehicle and forced the 67-year-old give up his watch, gold chain and a cell phone. According to Veja, Pele yelled out "It's Pele!" to his attackers as they targeted his vehicle, hoping they would let him go. The crime occurred two weeks ago, as Pele was being driven in Santos, on the coast near Sao Paulo.
*The guitar that Jimi Hendrix set afire at the London Astoria in
1967 is headed for the auction block. After being in storage for 40 years, the 1965 Fender Stratocaster is to go under the hammer this summer, reports WENN. It's thought to be the first guitar that the late rock star sent up in flames. In related news, Showbiz Spy has reported that Jimi's cousin Riki recently broke his pelvis and punctured a lung after falling from scaffolding.
*Jennifer Lopez is reportedly back to being a diva after giving birth to her twins. According to the New York Post's Page Six, she was shopping last week at the Catherine Malandrino boutique on Manhasset's Miracle Mile, near where she lives with husband Marc Anthony. "She demanded the store be shut down for her to shop alone, but they said, 'Absolutely not,'" reports a spy. "Then one of her eight-person entourage, including two bodyguards with their guns showing, was yelling at the clerk that Jennifer gets a 50 percent discount. Jennifer also tried on about a million outfits, then just threw it all in a pile in the dressing room and didn't buy one thing."
*Read no further if you'd like to be surprised by BET's "surprise"
performer tonight at its annual award ceremony being held in Los Angeles.
Word on the curb is that it's Maxwell.
EVENT CALENDAR: Mackie is ABFF Ambassador; Vincent Ward in 'Hurting'; Hancock on 'Abbey Road.'
*Actor Anthony Mackie, who will star as Tupac Shakur in the biopic, "Notorious," has been named Ambassador for the Film Life's 2008 American Black Film Festival (ABFF), the premier international marketplace for films that showcase work by and about people of African descent. The role of the ABFF Ambassador is to broaden public awareness of the festival and its mission to encourage collaboration and support between Hollywood and the independent film community. This year's festival, under the theme "Exploring Black Romance and Sexuality in American Cinema," is scheduled to take place in Los Angeles from August 7-10.
*Actor Vincent Ward joins Coco Short and Malik Barnhardt for the play "I'm Hurting Who Can Help Me," scheduled to debut on June 28 at the Wilshire Ebell Theater in Los Angeles. Ward portrays a psychiatrist torn between his personal belief in faith healing and his professional duty to prescribe psychiatric medications to his patients with mental illness. Short portrays a female "player" who struggles with deep depression over losing the love of her life. Barnhardt experiences conflict living on the "down-low" while watching his wife suffer with bipolar issues.
*Herbie Hancock will perform selections from his Grammy Award winning Album of the Year "River: The Joni Letters" on Thursday (June 26) for the new season of Sundance Channel's original music series "Live From Abbey Road." Corrine Bailey Rae will join the legendary jazz musician for their only live performance to date of the album's title track "River." Hancock also recruited talented young singer Sonya Kitchell, who is performing with him on tour this spring and summer, as well as musicians Wayne Shorter and Vinnie Colaiuta to accompany him for the session. The program airs at 10 p.m. Watch "River" from 'Live From Abbey Road' here:
http://www.sundancechannel.com/videos/230322927
EUR FILM REVIEW: The Happening
M. Night Shyamalan Adventure Suffers from Lack of Suspense
Film Review by Kam Williams
*Upon the release of The Sixth Sense in 1999, M. Night Shyamalan was heralded as the heir apparent to Alfred Hitchcock's mantle as the master of suspense.
However, the once-celebrated wunderkind's stock has fallen over the intervening years because each of his subsequent offerings has generally been disappointing due to the identical failing.
The trouble is that his adventures rely on rabbit-out-of-the-hat revelations which retroactively render the rest of what you've just watched inconsequential. In The Sixth Sense, the element of surprise was the discovery that Bruce Willis' character had been knocked off during the opening scene. In The Village, it was the fact that the tale was actually set in the present, not in the 19th Century as implied. And so forth.
Consequently, Shyamalan's critics have deemed him a one-trick pony undeserving of his lofty status as a cinematic genius. Now, perhaps in response to his detractors, he has crafted The Happening with a more-transparent twist than usual. Unfortunately, by dropping hints periodically throughout the picture, the upshot is that the audience is likely to be left wondering "Is that it?" as the closing credits roll.
The film opens in New York during the morning rush hour in the vicinity of Central Park as people begin exhibiting bizarre behavior which starts with catatonia and disorientation and culminates with their calmly committing suicide in a variety of ways. Given the memory of 9/11, it is no surprise that the authorities would jump to the conclusion that the city has been hit by another terrorist attack, this involving the release of a toxin into the atmosphere.
The setting quickly shifts to a classroom in a Philadelphia high school where science teacher Elliot Moore (Mark Wahlberg) just happens to be leading a classroom discussion about why the honey bees have been disappearing lately. He suggests that "there are forces at work beyond human understanding." Hint-hint. Cue the Twilight Zone theme song.
But before he has a chance to elaborate further, the faculty is summoned to the auditorium where the principal (Alan Ruck) informs them about the terrorist attack and summarily cancels classes for the rest of the day. Soon, the folks in Philly are becoming infected with the same self-destructive urges as witnessed around Manhattan.
So, Elliot and his pal, math teacher Julian (John Leguizamo), decide to make a break by train to a presumably safe haven in the country. En route, they pick up a couple of loved ones in the former's estranged wife, Alma (Zooey Deschanel), and the latter's little daughter, Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez). Together, the four then embark on a valiant struggle to survive the godforsaken plague which has descended upon the northeast from Massachusetts to Maryland.
Besides telegraphing what's really at the root of the havoc, The Happening is beset by a number of glaring flaws. First, the acting is atrocious, the biggest culprit being Zooey Deschanel who barely demonstrates the emotional range of one of the zombies everybody around her is turning into. I guess there's a reason why she's previously always been typecast as a sarcastic smart aleck. Equally-wooden is Mark Wahlberg whose countenance never conveys the sense of dread of someone facing the apocalypse.
Then there's the problem of Shyamalan's plagiarizing trademark scenes from other sci-fi thrillers, such as the jumping off buildings employed only last year in the remake of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. What's more annoying than when a mediocre movie constantly reminds you of much better pictures? I know, it's when you wait an hour and a half for a solution this pathetic.
Fair (1 star)
Rated R for violence and disturbing images.
Running time: 91 minutes
Studi 20th Century Fox
To see a trailer for The Happening, visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fwccFTJIdo
MO'KELLY REPORT: The Thong is the Victim, Not Macrida Patterson
*Mo’Kelly apologizes in advance to anyone and everyone who finds themselves “offended” by this next commentary. Feel free to send all applicable hatemail to mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net with the subject header “thong.”
Yes, Mo’Kelly is apologizing in advance for what he’s about to say. Then again, when did ANY apology for public statements mean anything?
Exactly.
So go on ahead and file Mo’Kelly’s latest apology in the same bin as Don Imus’ or any other half-hearted, BS act of contrition.
That said…
Mo’Kelly is tired of people blaming the victim and not the criminal. By now most all of you have heard of Macrida Patterson.
What, the name Macrida Patterson doesn’t ring a bell? Well Macrida is the Los Angeles Meter Maid who is suing clothier Victoria’s Secret over the thong “wardrobe malfunction” which allegedly caused her permanent eye damage.
Ring a bell now?
So, for all of you out there who really don’t like Meter Maids…you probably really like them even less now.
Mind you, when Macrida was on the Today show with her lawyer recently telling her story, she was neither wearing an eyepatch nor glasses. Permanent "eye damage" that we can’t see and doesn't affect her vision?
Hmm…
What Mo’Kelly wants to know is, why has there been zero discussion or sympathy for the REAL victim…the THONG!
Patterson, (age 52) has alleged in her lawsuit that while attempting to put on the “low-rise v-string” thong, a metal decorative fastener broke loose and almost put her eye out.
A fastener to the side and almost BACK of the thong that is.
How an ornament on the BACKSIDE of a thong busts you in your eye if you are putting on the thong “correctly” is not a detail to be overlooked.
Obviously this heifer was abusing the thong and the tiny swath of material fought back with every inch of its cotton fiber being. The media has missed the real story here.
But not Mo’Kelly.
Mo’Kelly isn’t saying that women above the age 52 or older shouldn’t wear “low-rise v-string” thongs; but Mo’Kelly IS saying that THIS particular 52-year-old woman had no business shopping in the “low-rise v-string” district.
If you are a size 14, it does not mean you can also wear size 4 articles of clothing. Simply because the numbers 4 and 14 both have “4s” in them, it does not mean they are interchangeable in a fashion sense.
Stop blaming the victim! Why hasn’t there been any outpouring of sympathy for the thong? It’s being cast as the villain here and all it did was protect itself from a premeditated assault.
Macrida wanted to put all size 14 of her ass into that size 4 thong and surprise, surprise...the thong wasn’t having it.
No means no.
If you happened to see Macrida’s Today show interview…it probably took you all of 4 seconds to realize that Macrida’s judgment was questionable at best. It’s clear Macrida sees herself far, far differently than the rest of us with good sense.
Those of us with good sense know that when you appear on the Today show to argue the “merits” of a thong injury lawsuit, you DON’T wear the cocktail dress that highlights your cleavage.
Those with good sense know that when you appear on the Today show to argue the “merits” of a thong injury lawsuit, donning pearls (fake or real) is probably not the correct message to send. At least TRY to give the illusion you’re not fashion ignorant all the way around. It’s a national TV interview, not a nightclub. Methinks the legal team for Victoria’s Secret will simply roll in a monitor, pop in a DVD of her Today show interview for the jury and leave it at that.
(The judge pounds his/her gavel)
“Alright, is the Victoria’s Secret defense team ready to present its case?”
“Yes, your Honor. The defense would like to place into evidence “Exhibit A,” Macrida’s interview on the Today show. (lawyer presses play on DVD).
…
…
…
(jurors bust out laughing.)
No further witnesses,your Honor. The defense rests. We’re good. If you need anything else we’ll be in the commissary grabbing a bite. (lawyer taps his chest twice). Peace out. You want anything while we're there?
Those with good sense know that you don’t dress for the Today show like you would the L.A. nightclub Bistro 880. If Macrida couldn’t “figure out” how to handle the clothing for ONE television interview, it stands to reason her judgment in thong apparel and the correct procedure for putting one on is equally as flawed. This woman committed premeditated assault against an unsuspecting thong and nobody except Mo’Kelly is taking up for the thong. Attempted thongslaughter is just not funny.
Shame on all of you.
If nobody else defends the thong, Mo’Kelly will.
(Macrida and her man walk through the FoxHills mall in Los Angeles. She is dressed in spandex, leg warmers and a tube top. Her hair is freshly finger-waved.)
“Oh honey, let’s stop in Victoria’s Secret and get something special for this weekend!”
“Macrida, you so fine…you’re all the ‘special’ I need…spandex, tube top and fingerwaves. What else could a man desire?
“But I want something REALLY special. Let’s role play again. I’ll buy one of those ‘low-rise v-string’ thongs that those skinny, 23-year-old underwear models wear and if you don’t’ feed my meter’ I’ll write you a ticket.”
(a passing shopper overhears and cringes)
“Oh look, they have my size!”
(Macrida holds up a ‘low-rise v-string’ – size “s”)
“Baby…that looks a little small for you."
“No silly, it’s says right here…”S,” means “stretch-fit”
All Mo’Kelly is saying is that the thong fought back with every ounce of strength it had. Macrida’s lucky it didn’t try to put both her eyes out.
No means no.
Thoughts and prayers to the thong in hopes of a speedy recovery.
The Mo'Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at http://www.blogger.com/www.eurweb.comIt is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.mokellyreport.blogspot.com
Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.
THE BRIDGE: Summertime Styling: Our Eyes Are Watching
By Darryl James
*I’m a girl watcher.
I said it before and some people wanted to attack me. I made it clear that I’m a girl watcher because there are some serious offenses being committed and I am unafraid to indict the offenders.
In my original article (“I’m A Girl Watcher”), I talked about the parents who allow their young girls to roll out of the house dressed like adult hookers, and the adult women who dress like hookers but wish to be treated like ladies.
But there are other offenses still.
June brings with it Summertime and a host of clothing violations committed by men and women alike.
There are the women who are grossly overweight, yet still insist on wearing tops that expose the midriff of cottage cheese and stress lines from overextension of skin being pushed beyond human skin stretching capacity, violating laws of physics and biology.
The formula for what your body can typically pull off is a ratio of gym time proportionate to the size of the clothing. In other words, if you are leaking out of your clothing, as opposed to slightly bulging, you should probably put on a larger size.
And, it must be said that men commit size crimes as much, if not more than women.
For example, when Spring sprang, too many men began to cram into the free weight section of the gym, developing their arms and maybe their legs in preparation for the wearing of less clothing.
But, if, like the bears who have been hibernating during the winter months, you still have excess blubber, then you are probably not ready to wear Summer sexy clothing styles.
You see, fellas, the ladies are watching us, too, which means that even though your biceps may be toned and massive, the tight shirts will still look like a hot mess over your massive guts.
Spend some time in the abdominal section of the gym before you wear the close-fitting shirt and add a change in diet to your regimen so that you won’t have man boobs or a sixteen month pregnancy.
And, to the young brothers who love the miss-your-butt Hip Hop styles, let’s agree to officially bury a style that was never really stylish.
Really, if your shorts are so baggy they look like gauchos, or your shirt is so huge that it looks like a nightgown, or if your pants are sagging so low that you have full ass exposure, the ladies are smiling because you look like a clown, not because you are fly. Unless you are on your way to the potential sexual victim cellblock in the county jail, you may want to try dressing like a man.
But the offending clothing styles are not just Hip Hop styles.
For the males who think that tight jeans are coming back, stop risking yeast infections and let your boys breathe.
Now, you already know that wardrobe issues are not just for men, so ladies, let’s talk.
Women, some of you talk about how men need women to dress them, but the reality is that there are things that many of you wear that men laugh at or talk about and that should be brought to a stop at all costs.
For example, if your flesh is pushed up beyond the stress limits, or if most of what you are exposing is stretched marked, then it’s not sexy—your days of wearing sexy skimpy clothing are probably over and you need to now dress elegant or classy—translation: more clothing, not less!
Many of us can see bad ideas on other people, but some sisters run out of the house with rusty asses exposed, Double D breastesses straining out of C cups and wide feet leaning and leaking over shoes one or two sizes too small.
Go ahead and get your size, because while you and your friends may think that small sizes are best, they are only best for small women. You will more than likely find your Summer sexy in clothing that fits, because many men love a woman with a regular body style and size.
A look from a man is not always about how sexy you look. I know that the stereotype is that we are only looking because we want to mount whatever we are looking at, but sometimes, it’s like a train wreck—it’s horrible and shocking, but we just can’t look away.
A great example is the undying anti-fashion statement—the Camel Toe. Your behind may look attractive in those tight pants, but if we can see the entire outline of your cookie up front, it’s not fly at all—it’s kinda disgusting.
And, now a word about hair:
Ladies, it is generally accepted that men can’t always tell when a woman is wearing a weave, so suffice it to say, that if we can tell, you probably look ridiculous.
But, really, many of today’s weaves are so cheaply done and so silly looking that it looks as if your head is under Mr. Ed’s ass, with his tail slung over your pate. You should not be buying six bags of hair, because it will look like something a bird should make a home in.
When it comes to hair—men and women, please develop your own style, because if you look like Nerd Girl or Poindexter, dreads or braids will make you look even goofier.
It’s Summertime and the living is easier, but please remember—everything ain’t for everybody.
Our eyes are watching.
Darryl James is an award-winning author of the forthcoming powerful anthology “Notes From The Edge.” Discounted Autographed and Numbered Pre-Release copies can be ordered at www.darryljames.com. He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and this year, will release his first full-length documentary. View previous installments of this column at www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
THE JOURNAL OF STEFFANIE RIVERS: Inhumane Behavior
*Last month in Hartford, Connecticut somebody ran down a 78-year-old man as he crossed a busy intersection in broad daylight. The incident was captured on a streetlight surveillance camera. The driver sped away, and what’s worse is none of the dozens of people who saw it happen – or came upon the man lying in the street bleeding - came to the victim’s aid.
It’s called the Kitty Genovese syndrome. It’s named after a New York woman who was stabbed to death in 1964 while witnesses did nothing to help her. In 1995 it happened to Deletha Word near Detroit. She was murdered on a busy thoroughfare as people drove by the grizzly scene in rush hour traffic.
Psychologists say a large group of bystanders might not help a victim obviously in need because they each assume that someone else will give assistance, therefore relieving themselves of the responsibility.
In the case of Angel Torres last month in Hartford, police said four people dialed 911 within one minute of the hit and run. Nobody reported the license plate of the dark-colored Honda that ran him over and nobody gave comfort to the critically wounded elderly man as he lay helpless in the street.
Whether we blame it on the syndrome or multi-media violence that has desensitized us to one-on-one interaction, it’s obvious some people don’t understand the difference between civilized and inhumane behavior. It’s up to those who know the difference to nurture those who don’t.
When people have no personal knowledge of each other or have no obvious commonalities, they have a tendency to ignore the other person’s issues, however legitimate they might be. That’s what happens when there is little to no interaction among people from different religions, races and cultures.
The best way to remedy this is to seek out new acquaintances, read about different cultures and be willing to travel to new places and try new things. When we put ourselves in the place of others – better known as to empathize – it decreases the chances of a person being run down in the street and nobody offers assistance.
If you’re in a position to help a person in need, do the right thing and offer assistance when you can. That’s what heroes and she roes are made of.
The next time you’re driving and you hear an emergency response vehicle pull over and let it pass. Have compassion for whoever is in need of help. The next time it could be you or someone you love.
Steffanie Rivers is a free-lance journalist living in the Dallas, TX metroplex. Send your questions and comments to her at teamtcbadvertising@hotmail.com.
HEALTHY YOU!: Body Mass Index and the Size of Your Waist can be Indicators of Future Health Risks.
By: Tibberly G. Ríchard
*Packing on extra pounds and the desire to lose those pounds is usually the driving force that leads to changes in diet and exercise schedules. Though the goal is to feel better about how we look, scientific research shows that losing body fat is a good way to stave off long term health risks associcated with being overweight, like heart disease. According to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute (NHLBI) of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), knowing your Body Mass Index or BMI is good way to begin your journey to healthy living. BMI is a measure of body fat based on height and weight and applies to both adult men and women. A BMI count of 25 is considered overweight. A count of 30 or higher is an indication of obesity.
In addition to using BMI as a predictor of future risk factors associated with weight gain, NHLBI recommends that you know the size of your waist. To get your waist circumference use a tape measure. Be sure that the tape measure has a snug fit for accurate reading. The size of your waist is considered a good indicator of abdominal fat which is another predictor of your chances for developing risk factors for heart disease and other diseases. That risk increases with a waist measurement of over 40 inches in men and over 35 inches in women. Combining BMI and waist size with information about your additional risk factors can predict your risk for developing obesity-associated diseases or conditions.
Some risks factors may include:
high blood pressure (hypertension)
high LDL-cholesterol ("bad" cholesterol)
low HDL-cholesterol ("good" cholesterol)
high triglycerides
high blood glucose (sugar)
family history of premature heart disease
physical inactivity
cigarette smoking
It should be noted that BMI and Waist Circumference measurements are used as a screening tool to identify potential problems associated with weight for adults, and are not diagnostic tools. For example, BMI may overestimate body fat in athletes and those with a muscular body form. BMI can also underestimate body fat in older people and individuals who have lost muscle mass.
Calculate your BMI by clicking on this link, http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm. To learn more about Waist Circimference measurements click here, http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/lose_wt/bmi_dis.htm
Talk to your doctor about your BMI, waist size and other risk factors. Your healthcare provider can perform further assessments which might include skinfold thickness which is a measure of the amount of fat under the skin, evaluations of diet and physical activity, looking at family history, and other health screenings of relevance.
If your doctor determines that excess weight is a health risk for you, NHLBI research shows that losing about 10 percent of your current weight can help decrease your risks of developing disease associated with obesity. Take a look at the the following questions that were asked and answered by Experts who spoke to WebMD. The questions were a part of a feature article written by Dulce Zamora for the WebMD Weight Loss Clinic. The content could help with self assessments and preparing questions that you may want to ask your doctor.
What is your lifestyle? Regular physical activity and healthy eating are important, no matter what your weight or your BMI.
What is your family history? If a close relative has a history of high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, or other weight-related ailment, it's crucial to be mindful of your weight.
What is your weight history? People who have consistently gained weight over the years need be careful. Experts say your BMI should not increase dramatically, even as you age. Even moderate weight gain in adulthood can increase your risk of diabetes.
How is your weight distributed? Weight gained above the hips -- the so-called "apple" shape -- can be problematic. In both men and women, bigger abdomens can signal trouble.
What is your waist size? The National Institutes of Health has determined that a waist circumference of over 40 inches in men and over 35 inches in women signifies a health risk, particularly in people with BMIs of 25-34.9 (the overweight category). Clothing size is not a good indicator of weight or health, since sizes vary with different manufacturers. But you can use your own clothing -- maybe a favorite pair of pants -- as a personal gauge of your weight.
What is your health profile? If your cholesterol and blood pressure levels are high and your BMI falls into the overweight or obese category, it's important to lose weight. If your BMI is in the high end of healthy or in the low overweight range, it's a good idea to talk to your doctor about whether weight loss is right for you.
How do you feel? Seriously consider weight loss if you are overweight and have joint problems, shortness of breath, or other health troubles that limit your day-to-day living.
Healthy You! provides you with research that can assist with your transition to a healthier way of living. The rule of thumb is that you always talk to your doctor about all health related issues and concerns. For more information about this topic, log on to http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/learn-it/bmi-chart.htm.
Tibberly G. Ríchard served as an entertainment writer for EURweb.com for a number of years. She also served as an on air personality with RadioScope, the Entertainment Magazine of the Air. Ms. Ríchard currently does a weekly television segment called The Parents' Corner, and runs a consulting business. She received a BA in Mass Communications from Southern University A&M College, Baton Rouge, Louisiana and completed Masters Degree courses in Public Administration from Southern University, Baton Rouge, Louisiana and the University of Maryland, College Park. She also received a Certificate of Completion, Charles Hamilton Houston Law School Preparatory Institute, Georgetown University Law Center, Summer Program.
Contact her via tibberlyrichard@eurweb.com, or tgr@vit-com.com. "My greatest joy is my two-year old ‘hand full’ of a son Caleb W. Cox. He inspires me to be better in every aspect of my life. He is my reason for writing this column. I love you sweetheart. I thank God that you chose me!" Mommy
THE FILM STRIP
ROMANY MALCO SAYS HIS ROLE AND MEAGAN GOOD’S GAVE ‘THE LOVE GURU’ BALANCE AND BELIEVES THAT’S WHY MIKE MYERS FOUGHT FOR HIM: Mike Myers explains why he wanted Romany and Morgan Freeman’s voice, and Justin Timberlake says why he wanted to work with Myers.
By Marie Moore
*Members from the cast of “The Love Guru” were in town yesterday to promote their film. One cast member, Romany Malco, almost didn’t make the cut. “There was a huge standoff between Mike Myers and the studios,” he says. “Even though Mike and the director liked my audition the studio was like, ‘We need bigger names to attach to this thing.’ Mike was like ‘I don't care what names you attach Romany Malco is going to be in the film. And Mike like showed them who was boss showed and got me in this joint and I was happy.
Like with anything with me I like to tell stories. I'm from a storytelling culture. It has to be a good movie. If I feel I can't contribute to it, I don't want to be down. When I read it, this was about the best screenplay I've read in a year and half. And I say that honestly. The screenplay that I read prior to that that I thought was very good was 'Behind the Smile,' written by Damon Wayans. So I basically went in and auditioned for the role.
Malco never played hockey before but he nailed the role as a hockey player. “Mike Myers went head up against the studios to have me in this film. There's no way in the world that I'm not going to get on the ice and give 150% of what I'm capable of. So the first rule I learned when I got on the ice was once I fell it was going to be extremely challenging if I was inhibited. I was injured but I still found ways to skate.”
The Film Strip asked Meagan Good, who was sitting next to Malco, what Mike Myers saw in her? “Well, I know what he saw in this one,” he laughs while ogling her. “I'm seeing it right now.” A coy Good responds with, “I don’t know. I really can’t say.” “I gotta come in on this one,” Malco jumps in and Good says, “Go ahead” to him.
“I got hired for the very same reason,” Malco interjects, “if I can credit myself with anything. No matter how much bigger than life the character is I'm playing, I really aspire to keep it real. I don’t know if you've seen Meagan works but the one thing she's always does, no matter how broad the people are, she's always grounded in something. And to me what mike wanted to sell was the true hockey, the true athlete, wife relationship. So I think that we were probably hired to ground the movie because he knew that Justin and Verne were going to be these helium filled balloons floating around the top and it was going to be you and me holding them down.” “I like that,” Good gushes. “Thank you,” Malco replies.
When Mike Myers walks into the room of the Waldorf Hotel, he confirms to The Film Strip his push to have Malco in the movie. “I did fight for him. Do you know, there's some people that you admire as actors and then there's some people that you just like and then there's this third category of actor that you both just like and you admire and Romany Malco is one of those actors. I see him and smile. I love his face. He came to play. He literally came to play hockey. He'd never played before and by the end of it, his stride was great. He got his ass down. He had a full-length extension with cross overs, hockey style. It was a joy to watch.”
And What about the Morgan Freeman voiceover, Mike? “Honestly, listen, I know he had played God before, but that voice,” he admits, “if he was to say anything to me I would be like, 'Yes, of course, Morgan. Whatever you say, Mr. Freeman.' Again, a sense of humor about oneself. He does voiceovers and he said, 'Yes, I will do a voice over because I understand what that means.' Everyone came to play and everybody got the joke. It's a party.”
Justin Timberlake agrees that it was a party, one that extended from Saturday Night Live. “think that, with Mike coming from 'Saturday Night Live' as well, there is such an element of that in his style of comedy. Isn't it cool that there is a Mike Meyers style of comedy? I was talking about that with someone, which is sort of what makes him a legend already to me, that he's already carved out his own and that's a great thing. I think it's important to know how you fit in and I knew exactly. After doing 'SNL', and knowing Mike, you know what you are getting into.”
InSYnc WITH D. YATES: Samsung Instinct: Instinctively Not the Iphone
Sprint’s Stab at its competitor might as well have been a splinter.
*What’s up everybody. Welcome to this week's issue of InSYnc. Today I wanted to take a little time to discuss Sprint’s version of the Iphone: the Samsung Instinct. I had the opportunity to play with this phone on yesterday, as one of my friends had just gotten one. I would say that it’s a pretty neat phone...not the Iphone...but still a pretty neat phone.
Now, let me take just a second to explain the previous comments. See the Iphone has a whole platform. While limited, the whole Apple/I-Tunes revolution has caused pandemonium since its inception in October of 2001. Its kind of neat to have all your music and movies together in one place that you can take wherever you want, and with the recent addition of the Iphone; music, movies, pics, the internet, up to 16gb of space, and a phone…wow.
Okay, enough about the Iphone 3G for now (July 11th, folks). Back to the Instinct. I liked the form factor; its not as thick as the Iphone, but it’s a little longer. The interface is relatively easy to use. There is no bright contrast, just basic touch screen icons. There is a built in mechanism that vibrates to let the users know that the phone is responding to the user’s touch.
Of course, this phone has Bluetooth, but I was shocked to see