CHRIS BROWN AVOIDS TRIAL AND JAIL IN ASSAULT CASE: Plea deal reached just before Rihanna was called to testify.
*Chris Brown has avoided jail time in his assault case against Rihanna by reaching a last minute plea deal that involves probation, domestic violence classes, community service and having to stay at least 50 yards away from the pop starlet.
Brown, 20, will be sentenced to five years probation and 180 days of community labor to be served in Virginia, according to People.com. He must also take one year of domestic violence classes, and pay fines. In exchange, he pleaded guilty to felony assault by means likely to cause great bodily injury.
"Mr. Brown, I think it's commendable that you took responsibility for your conduct," said Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg.
Brown also was ordered to stay at least 50 yards away from Rihanna – except at industry events, when it's 10 yards – despite a request from Rihanna's camp that the pair be allowed to at the same place at the same time.
The singer agreed to the plea deal before the preliminary hearing that was scheduled to take place in Los Angeles on Monday. Rihanna was reportedly on standby waiting to testify.
Brown's attorney Mark Geragos said of his client: "He's very thankful to all the people who've been very supportive. This is a kid who's never been in trouble before, who wants to move past this and make sure that the message gets out that these kinds of things, of domestic violence, are not acceptable. And that he has accepted responsibility and continues to do so and embraces this as an opportunity for him to get his life back on track and his career back on track."
If he violates probation, Brown will face four years in prison. His formal sentencing is set for Aug. 5, when the court will drop his second charge of making criminal threats.
Noting that Brown pleaded to a felony, Schnegg said, "I want Mr. Brown to be treated the same as any other defendant who would come into this court. That means something like Caltrans [trash pickup] or graffiti removal."
From People.com:
The plea deal was reached shortly before Rihanna, 21, was to testify under subpoena in a preliminary hearing.
Brown, wearing gray suit, off-white tie, and matching handkerchief in his front pocket, entered the courtroom shortly after 1:30 p.m. About 10 of his friends and family, including his mother, were seated in the audience.
After the judge addressed him, Brown left the courtroom and Rihanna, wearing a black dress and pearls, was brought in for the judge to explain the plea deal terms to the singer. The two were never in the courtroom at the same time. She stood before Judge Schnegg who told her that the court will consider reducing the stay-away order to the least-restrictive one after he's sentenced. Rihanna's only words in open court were: "Thank you, your honor," before she was led out a special exit.
PEAS TOUR MANAGER ACCUSED OF HITTING PEREZ HILTON: Celebrity blogger and will.i.am make their case in opposing videos.
*Gossip blogger Perez Hilton sent a flurry of Twitter messages early Monday claiming that he was beaten up by Will.i.am of the group Black Eyed Peas and his security guards in Toronto, but he later clarified that it was the group's manager that threw the punches.
Both parties were in the city attending the MuchMusic Awards when the alleged incident took place outside of an after party at a Toronto nightclub .
Hilton, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, tweeted at about 4 a.m. on Monday: "I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."
It was followed up by tweets urging followers to call the Toronto police. He would explain later Monday that he called the police before he started tweeting folks to call the precinct because the cops weren't responding quickly enough.
"I won't be talking about this any further," Hilton tweeted after cops arrived. "It is in the hands of the authorities."
The matter quickly moved from Twitter the Internet, as will.i.am posted an early morning video on his Web site DipDive.com explaining his side of what happened and that Hilton was punched by a fan, not by someone in his camp.
At 10:18, Perez responded with an emotional and expletive-filled videotaped statement detailing his side of the story and calling will.i.am a "f***ing liar" for pinning the punch on "a random fan."
Both Hilton and will.i.am say that Peas member Fergie first approached Hilton at the MuchMusic Awards dress rehearsal and asked him why he doesn't like their new album. Both parties also agree that Hilton reiterated his dislike for their new music.
Both sides say that Fergie ran into Hilton again on Sunday at an after party and was still upset over his dislike of their album, saying, "Perez, I thought we were cool." Another conversation followed and the matter was dropped.
At a second after party early Monday, Hilton came face to face with will.i.am – and in both of their accounts, Hilton, who is openly gay, called will.i.am a "faggot" after the musician told him not to blog about their band ever again. Both sides state that will.i.am responded by demanding that Hilton respect him, to which the blogger said, "No, I don't respect you, you are such a 'faggot.'"
Hilton said in his online video statement that he specifically chose that gay slur because he "knew it would set him off."
The two ended up face to face again outside of the club at the valet. This is where the two stories diverge. Will.i.am claims a fan overheard their argument and punched Hilton in the face. Hilton says will.i.am's tour manager Polo Molina came up from behind and punched him three times on the side of his head.
By Monday afternoon, the police had charged BEP's tour manager Polo Molina with assault for the punch after he turned himself in.
The official account from Toronto Police Constable Tony Vella, reported by the Associated Press, had Hilton getting into an argument with Fergie and will.i.am at the Cobra nightclub early Monday morning and being punched outside by Molina.
Below are the related videos – in chronological order:
Blurred, grainy footage of the will.i.am/Hilton altercation – June 22, 2009 at around 4 a.m.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l9b7JJZMso&feature=player_embedded
Will.i.am's video statement on DipDive at about 7 a.m. the same morning:
http://dipdive.com/member/iamwill/tv/#/~/videoplayer/0/undefined/48837/~/Per
ez's
Perez Hilton's response statement posted on his Web site at 10:18 a.m.:
http://perezhilton.com/2009-06-22-my-statement
GOLDEN BROOKS AND D.B. WOODSIDE ARE EXPECTING: Hollywood couple's first baby due in September.
*People.com is reporting that "Girlfriends" star Golden Brooks, 38, and TV actor D.B. Woodside are expecting a child together in September.
Brooks recently wrapped the indie film "Polish Bar", while Woodside, 39 – best known for his role as President Wayne Palmer on "24" – is currently appearing on TNT's "HawthoRNe" opposite Jada Pinkett Smith.
Brooks and Woodside began dating in December 2008 after meeting on the set of “My Place In The Horror."
FOX CREATES EXEC IN CHARGE OF DIVERSITY: Ron Taylor hired to identify and develop scripts with diversity themes.
*Fox is expanding its development ranks to include an executive devoted to diversity, reports Variety.
Ron Taylor has been tapped to serve as vice president of diverse programming and content for Fox. As part of his new gig, Taylor will now be charged with identifying and developing scripts with diversity themes, or are written by scribes with diverse backgrounds.
He'll also advise other Fox scripted projects on how to expand a diversity presence to those comedies and dramas.
Taylor reports to Fox programming exec VP Matt Cherniss, who announced the appointment on Monday.
"Ron has been a key partner to our programming team for many years and possesses a unique eye for strong, diverse writing and directing talent," Cherniss said. "By integrating diversity efforts more directly into our development process, Fox can deliver even more relatable, relevant shows to our viewers."
Taylor previously served as VP of diversity development for Fox Entertainment, helping work to adding more diverse voices both on- and off-screen.
CRITICS EASE ON DOWN TO ASHANTI'S 'THE WIZ': See what they had to say about singer's debut as Dorothy.
*Variety has compiled a list of reviews for the latest revival of "The Wiz" starring R&B star Ashanti as Dorothy and Orlando Jones as the title character.
Director Thomas Kail, choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler and music director Alex Lacamoire all earned praise for their work on Broadway's Tony-winning musical “In the Heights,” but reviewers generally were cooler toward their reteaming on “The Wiz,” and few had much love for the two leads.
Here’s what the New York critics said:
• “A fantasy bereft of magic” was how Variety‘s David Rooney described the musical. “There’s not enough imagination on tap here to make this ‘Good Times’-era artifact anything but a gaudy kids’ pantomime with quaint, jive-flavored sitcom dialogue.”
• The New York Times’ Charles Isherwood mostly slammed the show, calling it “busily energetic yet full of dead ends” and dismissing Ashanti as “a pretty place-holder, an empty vessel in a sparkly dress.” He added: “ ‘The Wiz’ in the current incarnation seems to be forever aerobically on the move and yet always at a complete standstill.”
• “The score constantly lifts up the show,” stated Elisabeth Vincentelli of the New York Post. “Which is good, because this ‘Wiz’ needs major support.”
• While noting standout performances by LaChanze and Tichina Arnold, Reuters’ Frank Scheck deemed the tuner unfit for Broadway, concluding, “This ‘Wiz’ doesn’t exactly make you want to click your heels.”
• Newsday’s Linda Winer gave the show a mixed review, commending helmer Kail’s “invention and affection” toward Brown’s original book but acknowledging that the production’s Dorothy underwhelms: “Ashanti proves not be a natural theater actor, and, even more surprising, her silvery voice sounds thin and bland against the pros.”
• Joe Dziemianowicz in the Daily News declared James Monroe Iglehart’s Lion “the evening’s standout,” suggesting that Kail’s lack of “concept or style to integrate the show into a cohesive story” was the musical’s biggest problem.
• In a mostly positive review, Bloomberg’s John Simon called it “truly a show for all ages and all imaginable audiences.” However, he echoed the general consensus on lackluster perfs from the leads.
• The AP’s Peter Santilli gave one of the few unequivocally positive reviews, calling the musical a “lavish, well-balanced production” and thoroughly praising Ashanti’s performance: “With wide-eyed charm and a can’t-miss voice, Ashanti makes the role her own while distinguishing herself among a skilled troupe of singers and dancers.”
QUINCY JONES LAUNCHING A BROADWAY SHOW: Project about jazz and blues will also be a 3-D Pixar film.
*Quincy Jones is coming to Broadway with a show he's been working on for the last 33 years, he tells the New York Daily News.
“It’s called ‘The Genesis and Evolution of Jazz and Blues’ and will be a Broadway show and 3-D Pixar film,” Jones told the newspaper during a Rose’s Mojitos luncheon.
Of his directorial choice, Jones said, “Hopefully I’ll be working with Julie Taymor ("The Lion King") because she’s the best. She’s my baby.”
VANESSA WILLIAMS AND IMAN DISCUSS BEAUTY: Both were interviewed at makeup artist Sam Fine's new DVD release.
*Former beauty queen Vanessa Williams and one-time supermodel Iman attended the launch of renowned makeup artist Sam Fine’s new DVD, “The Basics of Beauty” in New York over the weekend and dished about their physical insecurities to the New York Daily News.
“I don’t like my legs!” Iman told the paper's Gatecrasher column. “It’s why I wear pants most of the time.”
Williams confessed that her biggest beauty obstacle is her skin. “If there’s a day where my skin is not looking great, I have to have more coverage,” said the “Ugly Betty” star. “With high-definition TV, there is no such thing as too much makeup!”
But their guru Fine begged to differ. “These women inspire me so much,” he said. “They have such different features — Vanessa’s eyes, Iman’s bone structure. They both mean something so special to me.”
So who do the ladies think is their best-looking peer in Hollywood — even without any touchups?
Said Iman: “Angelina Jolie. She’s a beauty. Cameron Diaz, too, and Halle Berry!"
Offered Williams: “Kim Basinger. She’s always got incredible, luminous skin. And Julianne Moore seems like she’s got very natural, gorgeous skin.”
FOXY BROWN TREATED LIKE A QUEEN IN JAIL?: NY Post claims officers hung out in her cell, gave her makeup and gave her unlimited TV and phone.
The New York Post is reporting that prison officials at Rikers Island made Foxy Brown extra comfortable during her nine-month sentence for violating parole by assaulting nail-salon workers.
According to the newspaper, officials regularly hung out in her cell, brought her meals and makeup, gave her unlimited TV and phone use, and even carried her bags when she was released last April.
The article stated:
Brown wore Gucci sneakers and a Fendi scarf -- and when they got dirty, new ones were brought to her.
The diva's jailers also set up an interview and photo shoot with a magazine, which ran a feature on the raunchy rapper that helped hype her new album.
So say outraged Department of Correction insiders, who told The Post that Brown's coddling was yet another example of an unruly agency flouting its own regulations and security for the privileged few.
"It's just out of control," one official said.
Said another, "There's a total lack of leadership at the top."
Correction chief Peter Curcio and the prison's top rabbi, Leib Glanz, resigned last week after The Post exposed a lavish bar mitzvah that Glanz arranged for an inmate's son at a lower-Manhattan lockup, along with other perks showered on select prisoners. The city Department of Investigation and the Manhattan District Attorney's Office are probing Glanz and his boss, Imam Umar Abdul-Jalil, in the matter.
Abdul-Jalil played a key role in Brown's star treatment, the sources said, going to bat for the hip-hop hottie when she wanted something special.
"Umar would call the warden, and the warden at the time would comply," one insider said.
Two other ministers who report to Abdul-Jalil -- the Rev. Kevin Green and Imam Aisha Muhammad -- helped arrange Brown's good-time treatment, despite the rapper's bad behavior as an inmate at Rikers' Rose M. Singer Center, the insiders said. Brown is Christian.
"They were in her cell day and night," one department supervisor said. "Whatever she wanted, Sister Aisha would talk to warden [Michelle] Mack and get it."
Mack, for her part, was "star-struck," a source said. Mack and Muhammad allowed Brown to place a bedsheet across her prison bars as a privacy curtain, and let her stroll around by herself in a housing unit for high-profile prisoners, sources said.
Only one of the handful of inmates there is allowed out at a time, so Foxy's solo jaunts meant others had to wait.
"Everyone else in that area sat in their cell longer than they should have because that chick had carte blanche," said a source at the facility.
The photo shoot involved hip-hop magazine XXL, which sent seven people including a photographer and a makeup artist, to the jail to chat with and snap pictures of the star. The Brooklyn-born Brown wanted to promote her album, "Black Roses," and a reality-TV show.
The sit-down, just 10 days before her release in April 2008, was approved by the department's media-services office.
Jails spokesman Stephen Morello said Brown got no favors.
"We're required to allow inmates access to the media," he said. "This is exactly how we do each and every one of these. She may have been promotionally motivated, but it's absolutely wrong to suggest we were partners in this."
He said neither prisoners nor staff made complaints against Brown or her treatment.
But Foxy was not a model prisoner. She was ordered into isolation for 76 days for brawling with an inmate. She also failed to take a drug test and verbally abused a captain who ordered her to remove photos of herself in her cell.
Her stint in solitary was cut short -- she was let out after 40 days.
It was hardly solitary, according to jailhouse sources, who said Brown had a constant companion in Muhammad.
The imam "practically lived down there," an officer said. "It was a spectacle." Asked about the claims of special treatment, Muhammad said, "I won't be able to answer any questions like that. I'm so sorry. Have a blessed day."
Even Foxy's release was unusual and spurred much criticism by jail officials.
Foxy, who was whisked away in a luxury SUV, got a warm send-off from Carolyn Thomas, the correction chief of department. "She was waving to her," an astonished jail official said. "I've never seen that before in my entire life."
NICK CANNON SHOOTS 'TALENT' PROMO AT WHITE HOUSE: Host of NBC show also took a tour of the West Wing.
*Nick Cannon, also known as "Mr. Mariah Carey," was in Washington last week filming a promo spot for NBC's "America's Got Talent," which begins its fourth season tonight with the entertainer as its new host.
The 28-year-old actor/rapper/producer/DJ said he didn't get a chance to see the president during the June 16 shoot – his first ever visit to the White House – but he's met Barack Obama several times during the campaign and served as a DJ for one of his official inauguration balls.
When asked if Obama's got talent, he told Politico.com, "Definitely. We know he's a wonderful leader, and we know he's nice in basketball. I've seen him dance on inauguration night, so he's got quite a few talents."
But would his talents impress judges David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne and Piers Morgan? “Compared to some of the people we have on there, he’d probably win,” Cannon said.
During downtime at the 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. set, Cannon was treated to a tour of the White House, including FDR's old pool and the press corps' break room. "I thought it would be bigger," he said.
Ironically, he ended up interfering with official press corps business. While in the midst of shooting the "Talent" promo on Pebble Beach (the nickname for the North Lawn area that is covered with gravel, where TV correspondents do their stand-up shots with the White House in the background), a motorcade carrying President Lee Myung-bak of South Korea moved up the North driveway and into his shot as it headed toward the front door of the West Wing.
“Talent is taking over the world,” Cannon said into the camera, unaware that Myung-bak was taking over his shot.
DMC PART OF WHITE HOUSE FATHERS DAY CELEBRATION: Rapper also visited local school to share message of responsibility.
*Darryl McDaniels of Run DMC attended Friday's White House event celebrating Father's Day, and also visited Washington DC's Ballou Senior High School with former Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher to discuss fatherhood and personal responsibility.
The pair was among a group of 15 famous men gathered by President Obama to visit Washington area community organizations and share their personal stories in hopes of encouraging young people to pursue their dreams.
A town hall meeting on fatherhood with President Obama, community organization leaders and young men from those organizations followed the visits as well as a barbecue with 130 high school juniors and seniors on the South Lawn of the White House.
“I think what Obama wanted to do; he wanted these kids not to just look at him and what he achieved," DMC told AllHipHop.com. "More importantly, what about their family? What about the black man next door that the kid could look at as an example?…It’s easy to make babies, but making a baby and being a father and being a man that these kids can look to for leadership, direction and information that’s a whole ‘nother story.”
JADA WORRIED ABOUT CHINA FILM SHOOT: Smith family matriarch concerned by government's access to personal e-mails.
*Jada Pinkett Smith says she's a little worried about her upcoming family trip to China, where her son Jaden will film a "Karate Kid" remake produced by her husband, Will Smith.
The Smith clan will be spending July, August and September in the country, but her excitement about living temporarily in the Far East is equaled by her concern about the family's privacy.
"When you're getting messages like, 'Just know any emails you get there are open to the government,' that's different... There's no privacy," she tells WENN. "But I'm excited because I know there's a lot of history there... and the children will be able to say they spent two-and-a-half months in China."
And she's also worried about the air quality in Beijing: "Everybody keeps telling me, 'Wear your mask... Bring your own air.'"
The Smiths leave for China on July 3.
OUT-OF-PRINT MLK BOOKS RETURNING TO STORES: Dexter signs deal with Boston publisher.
*Four books that have been long out of print by Martin Luther King Jr. will see book stores again thanks to a new deal with Beacon Press brokered by King's youngest son, Dexter.
The Boston-based publisher, a department of the Unitarian Universalist Association, will release new editions of "Stride Toward Freedom," "Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community?," "Trumpet of Conscience" and "Strength to Love" in 2010.
Dexter King called it a historic partnership that will bring his father's words to a global audience, according to the Associated Press.
Under the agreement, Beacon will also compile King's writings, sermons, lectures and prayers into new editions with introductions by leading scholars.
EUR FILM REVIEW: Year One
Crude Caveman Encounter Biblical Events in Raunchy Road Comedy
Film Review by Kam Williams
*There’s only one line in Year One which made me laugh, albeit unintentionally. It’s where Jack Black asks, “Why am I talking?” precisely echoing my sentiments while watching him embarrass himself with joke after joke which completely falls flat.
For this sleazy Harold Ramis-directed Judd Apatow production is unfunny from beginning to end, starting with the moment when Black’s character informs us that he’s slept with his own mother.
But such behavior is ostensibly okay since he-man Zed (Black) is a Neanderthal, and the same can be said of his sidekick, Oh (Michael Cera), who conks a woman on the head with a club in order to have his way with her.
This is how we’re introduced to the crude cavemen at the point of departure, shortly before they are run out of their hometown, population 60, not for these crimes but because Zed takes a bite out of a piece of forbidden fruit dangling from a golden apple tree.
In case you missed the allusion to Adam (Harold Ramis) and Eve (Rhoda Griffis), a snake soon materializes and slithers around Oh’s neck, choking him to death, at least until the next scene when he’s inexplicably alive again.
Not to worry, that’s not the only time Oh dies (he’s also killed by a cougar) or the only Biblical tale this mess of a movie takes poetic license with. For next, we find the pair right in the midst of the sibling rivalry which led to the first documented case of fratricide. Unfortunately, again there’s simply nothing humorous about the way in which they fail to intervene as Cain (David Cross) bashes his brother Abel’s (Paul Rudd) brains in.
Subsequently, Zed and Oh’s lighthearted look at the Old Testament has them crossing paths with such religious figures as Abraham, Isaac and Lilith on their testosterone-sodden sojourn to the city of Sodom. There, the plot thickens when the horny boys discover that the objects of their affection (June Diane Raphael and Juno Temple) are slaves. So they hatch a cockamamie scheme to free them.
What ensues is a cinematically-tragic mix of slapstick and bodily function fare, a horrifying insult to the intelligence, given all the big names connected to the project, including Bill Hader, Horatio Sanz, Hank Azaria, Vinnie Jones, Oliver Platt and that kid who played McLovin’ in Superbad.
Might not be Jack Black’s best film, but it’s definitely his worst.
Poor (0 stars)
Rated PG-13 for crude humor, slapstick violence, brief profanity and sexuality.
Running time: 97 minutes
Studi Columbia Pictures
To see a trailer for Year One, visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTNBwIAY9Zo
EUR DVD REVIEW: The Pink Panther 2
DVD Brings Steve Martin Back as Bumbling Inspector Clouseau
DVD Review by Kam Williams
*Here’s the nagging question I kept asking myself while watching Pink Panther 2: Is Inspector Clouseau supposed to be this annoying or is it just Steve Martin?
Shortly after 9-11, France fell into disfavor because of its underwhelming show of support of the Bush Doctrine and the War on Terrorism.
So, for a few years, Hollywood had a field day at the expense of the French, routinely portraying them mostly in some unflattering combination of evil, cowardly, rude and uncouth.
When the Pink Panther franchise was revived a few years ago, it never occurred to me that Steve Martin might have been reinterpreting the character instead of merely doing a poor man’s impersonation of Peter Sellers.
Even though the picture was roundly panned by the critics, I guess the movie must have done well at the box office because they decided to make this even sorrier sequel.
If memory serves me right, Peter Sellers’ approach to Clouseau was marked mostly by mime-like, self-deprecating slapstick, not by poking fun at others. This cuts a sharp contrast with the version of Martin who is not above hurling ethnic insults. For instance, he refers to a Japanese colleague as “my little yellow friend.” And in another scene, Asians are again the butt of the joke when he suggests that they are all bad drivers.
To me, this sort of offensive humor isn’t funny and certainly shouldn’t be rated a kid-friendly PG, for that suggests that it is somehow okay for impressionable young minds to be exposed to hateful ethnic stereotyping. In this unifying Age of Obama, irrelevant Steve Martin should go back to his stand-up act where he shoots an arrow through his head, rather than mar the memory of a beloved icon by trading in ugly racial slurs.
Poor (0 stars)
Rated PG for comical violence, suggestive material, ethnic humor and mild epithets.
Running time: 92 minutes
Studi 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment 2-Disc DVD extras: Pink Panther classic cartoon collection, gag reel, trailers, plus a couple of featurettes.
To see a trailer for The Pink Panther 2, visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux6Gf_VlzEY
STEVEN IVORY: Soulistic Medicine
*I don't remember exactly what initiated it. It was a long time ago. I was maybe 12, 13.
Somebody might have whispered something. A note may have been passed. Lord knows.
All I remember is the pain in my side as I fought to contain myself. At some point I actually thought I might lose consciousness. Finally, Herbie Morrison, three rows up, looked over his shoulder at me. Didn't make a face, grin or mouth anything. Simply looked at me. An innocent glance. And I lost it. The force of my laughter was so powerful that I broke the perfumed and cologne-fragranced wind of Faith Memorial Baptist church.
Thank God a singing choir served to null my outburst. Nevertheless, Mama, disgusted with my behavior, in a whisper ordered me outside until I could "act right." Of course, once in the parking lot, nothing was funny. The sheer RESTRICTION of a solemn church service, a hushed school classroom or a serious business meeting is part of what induces it all.
I love to laugh. I've been called a serious person, and I suppose I am. But I am a serious person who loves to laugh. The way other people recall sumptuous meals, significant dates in American history or seminal sex is how I chronicle moments of great personal laughter.
I don't laugh easily. A chuckle, here and there, sure. But full-on, out of control laughter is a tall order.
That said, man, have I had some wonderful laughs in my life. I have laughed so hard that it literally hurt, so hard that I cried. I've laughed so hard that I've dropped the phone and couldn't come back to it; so hard that I once fell onto a public sidewalk clutching myself in the fetal position, convulsing while strangers looked on, some of them laughing, too, as I pleaded with my friend standing over me to have mercy on my abdomen. To my pained pleasure, he continued saying whatever it was that brought on the tonic.
And that is what laughter is, medicine. If knowledge is nourishment for the brain, then laughter is sweet, pure honey for the soul. A good laugh does a spirit good, and the ability to do so--not out of cruelty or spite, but because of the sheer comedy called life--is at least one way to both get through the tough times and supply the cherry atop the good ones. The Universe has its own standup routine. It's called irony. The capacity to lighten up long enough to catch the jokes is a blessing.
If you are close to someone yet never shared with them the occasional hardy har har, or even the pants-peeing, sidesplitting-to-the-point-of-delirim guffaw, then whether it be platonic or romantic, you might want to rethink the association. All my life, my truly great friends have been distinguished by their love of a good laugh.
Not everyone laughs out of joy. When I met her several years ago, "Toni" offered a giggle after nearly everything she said, humorous or not. I figured it to be nerves. In the days to come, as a natural reflex, I found myself laughing with her. But nothing tires your face muscles faster than faux laughter. So I let her laugh by herself, which proved awkward and annoying. Finally, one afternoon at Chado Tea Room, I asked Toni why she laughs when there is nothing funny?
She went quiet. After what seemed to be a minute of heavy contemplation, she began to weep softly into her napkin. Not quite knowing what to do--and figuring I'd said enough already--I simply held her free hand. After pulling herself together, she said she had to go. Later Toni called and told me that no one had ever commented on her laughter. It hurt her to observe friends and associates pretend to ignore her peculiarity, but she couldn't stop doing it.
Bravely, Toni confided to me an event from childhood, the emotional scar of which she always felt everyone could plainly see. And so to camouflage her sense of shame, for 39 years she has giggled and laughed at words that carried no humor. The day I confronted her quirk was the day she decided to seek healing.
Using a person's LACK of laughter to measure their sense of well-being has got to be the irony of ironies. However, these days, my friend's sentences are no longer punctuated by a transparent emotional impulse.
But when the girl does laugh, I mean truly laugh in a healthy way, expect to laugh with her. Because that chortle of hers, when it cranks up, emerges from a place of newfound felicity, undiluted and absolute. And as anyone who loves to laugh well knows, joy is infectious.
Steven Ivory's book, FOOL IN LOVE (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster) is in stores now or at Amazon.com (www.Amazon.com) Respond to him via STEVRIVORY@AOL.COM.
THE JOURNAL OF STEFFANIE RIVERS: Problem Passengers
*The business adage ‘the customer is always right’ is a motto that most companies strive to follow, especially when the level of customer service can determine a person’s buying decision. As much as company executives strive to instill this practice, front line employees know the truth: Some customers are more trouble than they’re worth.
A recent airline industry survey lists the top complaints flight attendants have against passengers. Here are a few of them:
At nearly $70/barrel for crude oil, the cost of a roundtrip coach ticket (about $200) doesn’t pay for the fuel it takes to drive from New York to Los Angeles, let alone to fuel a cross-continent flight. It takes a plane full of nearly 100 passengers paying $200 each just to pay for the cost of fuel. So when passengers complain about airfares – never mind the cost of shipping their overloaded luggage – flight attendants know passengers are not keeping up with the news and want to give them a lesson on the commodities market to prove the value of their airfare.
Passengers who complain about not getting exit row seating should realize those rows weren’t created for the comfort of people who are taller or wider than the average person. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. Therefore people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, have enough strength to open the emergency door and be willing to help others escape during an emergency. Flight attendants prefer to see passengers with training such as military, firefighter, law-enforcement, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final decision about who gets to sit in them. And Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) officials often audit flights to check safety practices. So if you don't qualify to sit there don't complain when you are asked to move.
Passengers who drag on oversized carry-on luggage should be prepared to lift it into the overhead compartment and not expect flight attendants to do if for them. Flight attendants say the guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. After passengers pack their bags at home they should try to lift the bag and place it on top of their refrigerator in the shoes they plan to wear (ladies). If it can't be done the passenger should pay the fee and check the bag.
And smaller carry-on items should be placed under the seat in front of you. To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool or in your lap. It's 'under the seat in front of you'. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?
Passengers with children should come prepared with their own extra diapers, formula and toys to keep their children occupied. Flight attendants want you to know this is a 747 - not a 7-11. Don't expect them to parent your child while you nap. Change diapers before your flight because nobody wants to smell dirty diapers on the plane. And passengers with young children should know the high altitude will cause their children to cry in pain the entire flight. So bring a bottle or candy to help them swallow and maintain their equalibrium.
If passengers bring pets on the plane they must be kept in their carrying cage at all times. And that cage must be able to fit 'under the seat in front of you.' To avoid mishaps don't feed your pet before the flight. And be prepared to clean up what they drop. In the past flight attendants have seen pets on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle. All of this is against federal regulations.
As an airline employee and frequent traveler I have witnessed some of these offenses. My top complaint is against passengers who refuse to turn off electronic equipment when asked and those who get out of their seats despite the placard that indicates they should not. I wrote a script for a television comedy based on the lives of flight attendants who have to deal with these job related issues. And last month we completed the pilot.The facebook page to market the pilot is under construction. My goal is to market the script and pilot to television networks in hopes it will be placed in the lineup of new shows. It's funny if I say so myself. If you don't think so, you must be the problem passenger everyone else is talking about.
Steffanie Rivers is a free-lance journalist living in the Dallas, Texas metroplex. See the video version of her column at youtube.com/steffanierivers. To schedule speaking engagements or to send questions or comments email her at teamtcbadvertising@hotmail.com
THE BRIDGE: My Father’s Day Gift
By Darryl James
*This year’s Father’s Day was indeed a great day for me.
In addition to enjoying the love of my son, I reflected on the love I received as a child from my own Father.
My stepfather married my mother and her eight children because he loved her. He became my Father because he loved me.
I loved their relationship.
I watched my mother love my stepfather in a way that I always wanted a woman to love me.
My mother listened to him when he spoke, and gave him credit for knowing what he was talking about. Neither she nor I ever knew that it was possible that he didn’t. She cooked for him, too. Not because she thought a woman had to cook, but because she wanted her strong man to stay strong, and believed that he could do so with the assistance of some good cooking.
I remember the two of them holding each other and playing the games lovers do. I could tell by the way she looked at him that she would have given her entire world up just to be with him.
She needed him. And she was committed to him and remained so, even in light of the difficulty some of my older siblings had because he was not their Father.
She stood by him through sickness and health, and since there never was a richer, she held to him for poorer, which was the most consistent guest in our home. They worked hard, and loved hard, giving a great deal of love to each other and to the children, even though his love was rejected by some of her children.
I never rejected his love, because unlike my siblings, I never knew another Father, and because I saw that my mother loved him.
And he loved her, too.
No matter what he did at work or in the streets, my stepfather brought his check home every week to the woman he loved. And the time he spent with me fishing, hanging with his friends or just walking to the store and doing nothing was what he brought home to the son he loved.
I drew a great deal from the big Black truck driver who loved my mother, and I carry it with me still, trying to put the good, loving parts of him in front when dealing with females in relationships, while holding on to the harder, stronger parts of him when dealing with the hard parts of life.
My mother and I both depended on this man to define our existence--hers as a woman who needed a man and mine as a manchild, searching for examples of how to be me and develop into a man.
His frustration from a world that kept the darkest and strongest of men like him on the bottom would often find him at the bottom of a bottle in which he sought refuge.
But there was much more to Willie Edward Wise or “Bill” as we called him. The weekends I spent with him showed me much more. Everywhere Bill would go, I was close behind.
The fishing trips, with hours of silence were just as important in modeling manhood as were the Saturday nights in the corner tavern he snuck me into. At the tavern, I saw him interact with other men, and the other men interact with other women. I watched he and his friends play pool, drink, curse and posture at each other the way men do when they get together. I sat silently, taking mental notes for the man I wanted to be when I grew older.
Yes, Bill was a real man. And even though he could have been a ladies’ man, he chose to be my mother’s man. I have vivid memories of him loving my mother and her loving him.
Each and every morning, he got up to go to work at a Chinese laundry. And even though she would be leaving later in the morning to go to work herself, my mother was up with him, preparing his breakfast.
I was up as well, soaking up the nuances of their relationship.
When he left to go to work, we would both kiss him goodbye, my mother on the lips and I on the cheek. Since none of my siblings were awake, I would often imagine I was an only child and that we were as wealthy as any of the white families I saw on television.
Their relationship mirrored some of them.
Once when I came home from school, my mother was disoriented from a stroke and had to be hospitalized. Her husband and I visited her in the hospital, and I saw the tears stream uncontrollably from his eyes at the sight of the woman he loved in sickness.
And in health, I can vaguely recall the love games they played when I finally stopped sleeping in their bed. Despite all of the problems poverty can bring into a relationship, they truly loved each other, and I believed that they would grow old together the way couples in love are supposed to do.
I believed that after a failed marriage and an unrequited relationship with my biological Father, that my mother had found a man she could give her true love to and receive love in return.
But life can be cruel and before I turned eighteen, a cancer had ripped through his powerful frame and reduced him bit by bit into pieces of the man he once was, and mercifully, finally relieved him of his obligation to exist as a fraction and not a whole.
When we put that man in the ground, part of each of us died.
Bill had always been there for me, but I lost him before I was a grown man. My uncles and older brothers helped to fill in the void left behind by a man who took on a job he didn’t have to.
Out of all the things I learned from him, the most valuable lesson was that a Father is more than biology. A Father is a commitment to being there and devoting time and attention.
I give these things to my son in order that I may also give him the kind of Father I had in my own life.
Bill was my stepfather, but more, he was my Daddy.
The memories of my time with him are now his Father’s Day gift to me as I travel on my own journey into Fatherhood.
Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.” He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and will soon release his first full-length documentary. View previous installments of this column at www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
PEOPLE OF NOTE: Van Peebles tells the “Unmitigated Truth” while the Sisters say “Amen”
By Deardra Shuler
Photos by Charles Rogers
*Melvin van Peebles rested his sweet sweet back, looming large, against the backdrop of the tiny Parker Theatre within the greater Algonquin Theatre, located at 123 East 24th Street, in Manhattan. He continues his baadasssss song via his latest play “Unmitigated Truth: Life, A Lavatory, Loves, and Ladies.” Via melody and verse and the musical talents of William “Spaceman” Patterson, as well as the equally sweet refrains of Carmen Barika, the cast carries off this parody of love, amusing tales, and the great zampoogie of life, at least until July 1st that is.
Melvin’s tales present an assortment of characters which includes Old Brother, Sweet Lucy, Lily, and Sloppy 2 to name a few. He goes from the lavatory to the electric chair, from lust to love and from the mean streets to his mother’s arms just chippin away at life, one adventure at a time.
The audience play the bystander to Van Peebles antics as he travels down the highway of his life, a complicated life filled with adventures and misadventures that exposes the triumphs of the human endeavor and the seedier side of human nature.
Whatever the Unmitigated Truth is, it can be found via a life-time filled with lessons and experiences, knocks and taps, laughs and tears. Truth can sometimes be found in a lavatory as one tries to clean up the mess they made of it. It can be found aboard a ship, or via the means streets and even within the gentle caress of a woman’s arms. According to van Peebles we are all simply adrift in the currents of life letting it pull us along via the mind streams of our own perception.
“Unmitigated Truth: Life, a Lavatory, Loves and Ladies,” is running Sunday through Wednesday each week until Wednesday, July 1st. For information about the play visit www.algonquintheater.org or call 212-868-4444. The show starts at 8PM. Make sure you catch it!
“AMEN SISTER,” a Hadley Players presentation, is an award-winning comedic production written and directed by Roger Parris. Show cased at the Harlem School of the Arts, located at 646 St Nicholas Avenue (near 142nd Street and St. Nicholas Avenue) “Amen Sister” runs through June 28th.
The audience gets a glimpse into what goes on behind the scenes as the ladies of the Church decides on whether to replace a member whose work in the church was unequaled until her passing. However, Sister Aisha Newman, played by Taeonna Ancrum, is willing to step up to the challenge and take over the vacant spot, albeit with a younger mindset and new ideas that has Sister Esther (Olivia Williams) eager to keep the status quo. Strong in her opinion and eager to keep things the way they are, Sister Esther is not above stepping on the sensibilities of others to get her way. While the ladies love to hold their meetings in the comfort of Sister Ruby’s home (Kimberlee Monroe), it turns out their lives are not always so comfortable. The ladies have become so entwined in the Church that to a large degree the workings of the church has replaced the rigors of ordinary life, which at least, one or two of the ladies, have come to see as ungodly, especially when it comes to sampling the brew.
Sister Viola (Alice Boarman Garcia) is so imbued with the spirit of God she is remiss in her worldly responsibilities such as making sure she keeps a roof over her head. She keeps the secret of her homelessness from the other church members who finally wrestle it out of her over a bottle of wine. Something Viola never touched. But homelessness and fear makes Viola realize that sometimes one just has to live for the sheer sake of living. Viola finds a good friend in Sister Lucille (Lateefah Abdul-Jabbaar), who is a willing roommate and feisty soul. Filled with the spirit of the Caribbean and a love of life, Lucille is not willing to let Esther always get her way. She rallies the ladies, especially Ruby, who has not always lived the way of the Church, and convinces them all to use their voice for more than the singing of psalms.
This play is a slice of life that should be taken with a cup of tea. It’s a sweet and amusing production that is well worth the go see.
For tickets call 1-866-388-4-TIX or 866-388-4849 or online via www.TicketAnnex.com or visit the Hadley Players website at www.hadleyplayers.com
EUR MOTIVATIONAL NOTE
"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." — Albert Einstein
CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS
June 23: "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson is 53. Singer Chico DeBarge is 39.
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
RaceRelations.ws is for racial profiling ... meaning essays on race and racism that profile the nuances of race relations, racism, and other racial issues in America. Go here: www.racerelations.ws
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BLACK HISTORY
June 23, 1970: Charles Rangel defeated Adam Clayton Powell in Democratic primary in Harlem, ending the political career of one of the major political symbols of the post-World War II period. (source: www.BlackFacts.com)