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*I join the world in being stunned and deeply saddened by the passing of Michael Jackson; the most brilliant and innovative entertainer I am sure we will ever know in this lifetime.
*I join the world in being stunned and deeply saddened by the passing of Michael Jackson; the most brilliant and innovative entertainer I am sure we will ever know in this lifetime.
My deepest condolences go to the Jackson family; especially to Michael’s children: Prince, Paris and ‘Blanket’ and his mother, Katherine, who I know must be absolutely numb with devastation. I pray that we all wrap our collective arms around them in love for the weeks and months to come. If ever they needed our support, it is now.
Please bear with me. Historically, it has been difficult for a journalist to publicly show compassion and offer professionalism too. But I have always worked to be both.
Michael is the most familiar person I’ve never met. Yet, because of things you will read here, he feels like a member of my extended family. His kindness extended invitations to my family, friends and I to celebrate significant events on several occasions at his homes in Encino, and the beautiful Neverland Valley Ranch (where Gavin, the teenaged boy who would later accuse Michael of molestation, and who my family had known for years, drove me around in one of those little golf carts showin’ off Michael’s place). I have sat and spoken casually with Michael’s loving mother; an absolutely beautiful and kindhearted woman, while she played a game of scrabble with a friend. I have been in the company of Michael’s brothers and their children as we BBQ’d at my own relatives’ home. As a journalist, I interviewed two Jackson sisters and took a public stand to author the editorial Will Humanity Ever Visit the Media in 2003; voicing my distain and journalistic embarrassment following the Martin Bashir Interview that aired prior to the child molestation trial. For said trial, which found Michael Jackson innocent, though many disregarded this and made it his permanent tattoo; I jumped into my little Volkswagen Cabriolet at 4a.m. to make the long drive from Hollywood to Santa Maria. I was standing close enough to see the thought [to jump up on the SUV] pop into Michael’s head; as the obvious gratitude in his face searched for a venue to express itself before he jumped up on the SUV to acknowledge his fans. I swear, my jaw fell and I thought, ‘Dang, he sure is in good shape. He jumped up there like a little monkey!”
All the same, yes, I thought it was a dumb thing to do!!! And I felt so sorry for the handlers who were trying desperately to coax this man down.
I have seen Michael in concert twice; both times with his brothers; both times at Madison Square Garden in NYC--the last concert being his 30th Anniversary Celebration in 2001, only days before America as we knew it changed forever. I remember being so honored that MJJ Productions had kindly extended passes to me. And I sat directly across from Michael and his mother.
At times, Michael Jackson took up a lot of personal space in my head; and I must admit, I knew this day would come. Of course reality dictates we are all going to die eventually; but, I knew THIS DAY would come. Over these past years, it has played out like a sad movie in my mind. Still, not unlike most, I was caught off guard when it happened. Our instincts, whether we believe it or not, trust them or not, can be very sharp. Michael Jackson had been so deeply on my mind these past weeks; with urgency, I had tried to reach out to him. The day of his death, it had been so hard for me to get out of bed, as if I was dreading the start of the day. Why, I wondered? This is so unlike me. It’s simply not my energy.
Now I know why.
Why, I will always wonder, had I awakened with comments that Michael had made at one time—in a rare interview years ago--on my mind? I recalled a comment that Michael had made to Oprah, when she asked him, “Are you happy?” and he responded with a faint smile, “I’m getting there.”
It’s probably fair to assume he never did.
Not unlike many, I was deeply concerned about the upcoming concerts. He only wanted to do 10, and all of a sudden there were 50. Even he wondered how in the world he was going to perform so many. “I don’t know how I’m going to do 50 shows. I’m not a big eater!” he had told fans outside of a Burbank, CA. studio recently; after he had been cautioned by doctors to put on more weight.
Greedy concert promoters!
The question has been asked so many times, “Do you really think Michael Jackson can make a comeback?” In my humble opinion I think the question should have been, “Would we have been able to ACCEPT the comeback that Michael Jackson would have made?” Would we have been able to appreciate the performance of a 50-year-old icon singing and dancing to “Billie Jean” and “Thriller”? Or would we have been looking for him to moonwalk like he did when he was 26? It seems Michael was always bound by much higher parameters than anyone else. But that’s a story for another day. I am sure his fans, who adored him more than words can say, would have accepted anything he did.
I’ll just leave it at that.
Though we will never know for sure, Michael most likely stressed over these things; His inner consummate perfectionist probably made it difficult for him to even fathom being anything less than what our unrealistic expectations held. You know he always had to be the best at everything! I must admit, I am so disappointed that the outpouring of love that we see now, was not shown when Michael was here to receive it; especially from his peers. Joseph Jackson, on this we can agree! They know who they are.
It appears love is what he craved most. Love. Acceptance. Appreciation. Not hysterical love, but a love that showed, “You don’t have to pay me to love you.” I always wonder if the fella’s ever called to say, “Hey Mike, we’re getting together at such-n-such’s house for the game. You wanna hang?” Yes, this dude was extremely shy, but these same brotha’s—and I don’t name any race in particular—could’ve sat Michael down and schooled him on “stuff.” No disrespect to his upbringing; but its obvious he didn’t get the “sit-down talk.” Hey, how are you supposed to know stuff??
Why the hell was everyone so OK with his obvious loneliness?
It’s going to be hard for me to imagine a world without “The King of Pop” physically in it. This gifted individual, with a heart as big as the stratosphere, and all of his imperfections, will be missed beyond articulation. Hopefully now, Michael Jackson has the peace in death that escaped him in life. Hopefully, his name will not be dragged through the mud in the weeks to come as “friends” and people he has not associated with in decades come out of the woodwork. Hopefully the media will exercise humanity; his three children will grow up to read your stories one day.
Thanks for listening
--DeBorah B. Pryor