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ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
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Dear Advice Chick,
Ok I did something real stupid. I met this dude online and we started talking on the phone, now everything was great he is a very cool dude. The only problem was that we live about six hours from each other. So anyway the pictures that he had on one site were sort of deceiving to me. He kept insisting that I go to this other site where he had more pics so I finally did and oh my god was this dude ugly like totally not my type right. So what do I do start avoiding his calls hoping he would get the hint and stop calling well after the third day of him still calling and me ignoring him I decided to send him an e-mail. So in this e-mail I made up this whole story that I was pregnant and me and the father where trying to work it out. Now I sort of miss him and he still wants to be friends and I would love to be his friend but nothing more what should I do.
Advice Chick replies,
You and dude have never met face to face so how do you know which pictures most resemble the way he actually looks now? He could look like he does in the deceiving photos. He could look like he does in the, as you say, ugly photos. He may not be the guy in either photo!
Since looks are so important to you, and he still wants to be friends as well just keep him as an eFriend. You made up this huge I’m pregnant lie and a real friendship can not stand on a withered and wobbly foundation of falsehoods.
Dear Advice Chick,
I've been seeing this guy for about 5 months; we were previously friends for almost 5 years before we became involved. We started the "relationship" when he came home for a few weeks from Baghdad. Before anything happen between us he asked me what I want out of this. I explain that I was not into casually dating. I further explained that I was looking for a serious relationship not just sex. I have a 4yr child and want to set an example by not having a lot of men in an out my life. When he returned home from Baghdad everything was fine for the first month. We are both in our mid-twenties, so when he went back to school to finish the 2 years he had left, I didn’t see any conflict. The school he attends is 45 minutes away, so I knew that we weren't going to see each other everyday. We only talk once a week and don’t go out much (which is fine because of both of our finances). Now, I've voiced my concerns several times. One week it gets better, he’ll do everything in his power to make me happy but the next we are back to the same old routine. This has been going on for two months now. I've broken up with him twice because of this but he turns around and acts as though the break up never happened. At this point I frustrated and confused on what to do. I do understand he's in school, works and has to study but even a call, text, or email more than once a week would help. My questions are what should I do, should I once again attempt to break up with him or be more understanding to his situation?
Advice Chick replies,
If he’s not calling, wining and dining you he’s calling, wining and dining someone else. Contact once a week is unacceptable. I understand he’s in school, works, etc. but you are his girl (I think?) and if you are you need attention and affection. Not having much money is NO excuse for not spending quality time together. The two of you can go to the museums or art galleries on the FREE night. You and he can walk along the lake or in the park. You expressed your feelings and aspirations for this thing, but did he? You expressed what you want, but he is showing you how unimportant you are to him at this time.
You are not a broken record and don’t have to keep repeating yourself. Don’t attempt to break up with him, BREAKUP with him.
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Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! Kimberly Williams (THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com) calls on over 10 years of dating and relationship industry experience. She authors a nationally syndicated dating advice column, conducts dating seminars, and has provided advice for singles through radio and television appearances.
