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THE MO'KELLY REPORT: Colin Farrell Concerned about Image?!
I take it all back. Everything I ever said about sex tapes and how the woman is always the one blocking the release of them…I take it all back. Actor Colin Farrell has proven me wrong.
For those unaware and/or living under a rock, the star actor is presently suing former ‘girlfriend’ (and I use that term loosely) and two porn brokers to prevent the release and distribution of a 15-minute video purportedly showing sex between Farrell and said ‘girlfriend’ 2002 Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain. The latest is that Narain has signed an agreement which will entitle her to a $3 million payment if she obtains the rights to distribute the video. The agreement also stipulates a one-time payment of $100,000 even if Narain is unable to secure distribution rights. If that wasn’t enough, the porn broker in question has guaranteed to cover her legal fees up to $60,000 to combat the lawsuit levied by Farrell.
In other words, it’s a win-win-win situation for Nicole Narain, who coincidentally I had never heard of until this story originally broke. Prior to popular misconception, Mo’Kelly doesn’t read Playboy or keep up with the latest nude sex goddesses. Really he doesn’t.
Mo’Kelly keeps up with Victoria Dillard, Roselyn Sanchez and Gabrielle Union. And as soon as Mo’Kelly gets the DVD burner working again, Mo’Kelly will be happy to share his sex tapes…I mean…THEIR sex tapes.
All jokes aside, this is a rather intriguing situation. Well, actually, this is an intriguing situation and I can’t help but throw in a joke or two along the way. So no, I won’t be putting ALL jokes aside, just some of them.
If I say Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, etc…all of their careers have been enhanced in terms of fame and fortune, simply by floating a sex tape into the general community at large. Even singer Kylie Minogue’s sister has a ‘sex tape’ floating about and her only claim to fame is being Minogue’s sister. In fact, I can’t even remember her first name, but Minogue’s sister made it into The Mo’Kelly Report and that right there proves it has enhanced her career. Everyone from Indiana Pacers guard Stephen Jackson’s mama to Lou Rawls’ former publicist and Larenz Tate’s cousin’s baby-mama all read the Mo’Kelly report, so you know that you’re big time when you make it this far.
Congrats ‘whatever your name is’ Minogue. You’re now a star. But I digress.
Since we can agree that the prospect of a ‘sex tape’ only increases a star’s visibility and ostensibly their popularity; it begs the question as to why Colin Farrell would go to such great lengths to block its release. Let’s be real, those who make sex tapes must know it will never…NEVER remain with just the two parties involved. And given that the two people here are a Playboy Playmate and a Hollywood A-List movie star…common sense would dictate that the tape would make its rounds one day, sooner or later. It just happened to be ‘sooner’ in this case.
What is there to fear on the part of Farrell? Was he not shown in a flattering light on the tape?
Maybe. I mean, it’s all relative to your concept of ‘unflattering.’
Does he not ‘measure up’ and thus leave himself open for ridicule? Hey, it’s something as a man you have to consider. That’s a genie you can’t shove back into the bottle. It’s a horse that’s long gone from the barn with zero chance of ever coming back.
You get my point. I believe it’s ‘some of that’ (in terms of embarrassment) but probably not only that specifically. I believe that the ‘embarrassment factor’ is a part of this equation but having less to do with HIS anatomy and more to do with HER ethnicity.
It’s one thing for a Caucasian, A-List star to reportedly cavort and get his freak on with an African-American woman. Farrell is not the first and definitely won’t be the last. But it’s another thing to have video proof floating around the internet and in your local video store.
I know what some are you are thinking…”he’s not denying that the tape exists.” And that would be correct. It’s the only option available if one plans to sue to keep the tape from becoming public domain. If you want to keep it off pornography distribution shelves and the screenshots out of the tabloids, it’s a necessity on the part of Farrell. Tommy Lee on a boat with Pamela Anderson is far different than Colin Farrell with a Black woman…ANYWHERE. Paris Hilton caught on tape with some random man of equal Caucasian persuasion is nothing like Colin Farrell with a random Sista. Don’t get it twisted.
If you don’t believe me, ask Jennifer Lopez and ‘Diddy’ Combs. They will both disabuse you of that notion. The pressure placed upon Lopez to distance herself from Combs (granted, after a nightclub shooting) was more about ‘protecting’ Lopez’s career and presenting the ‘correct’ public appearance as a movie star on the rise than anything else. And if you think Combs’ ethnicity had nothing to do with it…you need to have your head checked.
The question is whether Farrell would have been as adamant about blocking the release of this video if Narain was not African-American. Farrell’s image was already questionable on his best day. He was arrested in 1994 on suspicion of murder in Australia and questioned for four hours. (Farrell said it was a case of mistaken identity…although admittedly he’s never visited Australia again since then.) Farrell was sued in 2005 by a former sex chat worker, alleging that Farrell sent more than 500 sordid and sexually suggestive text messages. Farrell has been treated for prescription drug dependency.
Embarrassing? Wait, let’s back up…500 sordid text messages?! You mean some 500 messages like… “Dear Girl 6, I want you to suck the toejam from my toes and lick the dandruff from my scalp next time. See you soon, Colin.”
499 more like that? Embarrassing you say?!
Colin Farrell is a wild Irish rose freak and that’s nothing short of public knowledge. In fact, it’s this ‘wild-child’ persona that has gained him notoriety for quite some time. Just FYI, there’s no public record of Farrell countersuing the former sex chat worker. There’s no record of Farrell suing the country of Australia for false arrest. There’s no record of Farrell trying to suppress the reports of his addiction to prescription drugs. If I’m wrong, I’ll gladly print any and all retractions next week. But as of yet I haven’t found any countersuits by Farrell, other than this one.
Sure enough though, he’s fighting this sex tape tooth and nail. Yes, the murder charge was long before he was a household name, but the sex chat lawsuit was in 2005. I can only imagine that if those 500 text emails ever come to light, that would be far more ‘sordid’ and embarrassing than ‘putting it down’ on video. Then again, embarrassing to whom, as it varies as to what one considers ‘embarrassing.’
There’s a blatant inconsistency and why this hasn’t been touched upon in greater detail I’m not exactly sure. I have my suspicions but I’ll leave it to you to form your own conclusions. I would never force my opinion on anyone. What I recommend is that you use measured thought and reason…and THEN come back and tell me I’m absolutely right.
Colin Farrell undoubtedly lives his life as a free spirit and is far from concerned about public perception. How he somehow managed to grow a conscience overnight and worry about his image for this sex tape is beyond explanation. Well, not ‘beyond’ explanation, just explainable in terms that some people would rather not hear.
In the end, it is my contention that Colin Farrell isn’t the one ardently pursuing this lawsuit, just those associated with him. So my wrath would be misguided to direct it squarely at Farrell. At the same time, the disparate and glaring inconsistency to protect one’s ‘image,’ ONLY after having sex with an African-American woman is duly noted.
The Mo'Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. The e-book "The Best of The Mo'Kelly Report" will be available in spring of 2006. Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at dark.gable@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.
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