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ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
(April 6, 2006)
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Dear Advice Chick,
I really need some advice. I met my boyfriend two years ago. We were introduced through a mutual friend. We hit it off immediately. We dated for about 6 months, then I lost my job, & had issues with my daughter’s father, so I broke up with him. We never lost touch with each other. We still talked every day. And after a year of being apart, he met a girl. They dated for about 3 months, then she got evicted from her apartment, & he let her & her child move in so that they wouldn’t be homeless. And still we continued talking to each other everyday. She lived with him for about 2 months, & he decided that she wasn’t for him, so he asked her to move out. He still wanted to be with me. But I still had some drama in my life. So 7 months ago, I finally went back to him. I am happy. I know that I love him very much, & he loves me. He is very family oriented, & has a great work ethic. He’s a professional bowler, so he’s really busy with that. And when he’s not bowling, he’s at
I am pretty much sure that’s all he does. We talk constantly throughout the day, & whenever I’m talking to him, I can hear where he is, so I believe him as far as what he does outside of work. We live 50 minutes apart, so we see each other 2-3 times a week. But I am in the process of moving. Right now, I am going through testing due to pains I’ve been having for about a year. And the doctor believes that I may need to have surgery, which would mean that I won’t be able to have anymore kids. And now, my boyfriend told me that he loves me, & he wants to have a baby with me, especially since I may not be able to reproduce in a while. So he wants to get me pregnant. I love him; I can see myself with him. I’d love to get married. Our only problem is that we don’t see each other enough. What should I do?
Advice Chick replies,
Why intentionally become another statistic? If he’s so family oriented and wants a baby so badly - become a family first. Get married first!
Seeing each other 2-3 times weekly is fine. What? Do you want to see him every day? In really serious relationships, “I love you” is oftentimes followed with, “will you marry me?” It’s no big deal that he wants you to become his baby momma. Becoming a baby momma can become a really big regret in the future. (Trust me.)
What should you do? Get married, get pregnant, have the baby – there’s the family he claims he is so oriented to. Girlfriend please become a family; not a statistic.
Dear Advice Chick,
I listen to you every Wednesday on 102.7 FM and my question is; is it always true that if a man never wants to stay at home or take you out that he is cheating?
Advice Chick replies,
If a man is never home, and rarely takes his so-called lady out there is a problem. If he’s not home, and “we’re” not out together, who is he out with? In these down-low infested times, spending too much time with “his boy” can be a potential problem as well. So …. Is it always true? No. Is it usually true? Damn right. Remember ladies – when a man isn’t with you, he is usually where he WANTS to be.
Dear Advice Chick,
I dated this guy for about six months on and off and he had another girl on the side and we went through a whole lot of drama. They were supposed to get married as she was having a baby. She lost the baby and they broke up because he went to jail for 2 years. To make a long story short all along we would talk on the phone and kick it now and then. He lived about 1hr away and always claimed that the reason we could not kick it strong was because of the distance and because she was there.
Now that he is locked up he writes and says he want to try to work it out. He uses his little phone card and calls me and says that he really did care about me but he was distracted by the streets. He said I have showed him more patience than any woman, and I was always there even though he did mess up. I tell him all the time that I cannot promise I will be single when he gets out but I can remain a friend. Do you really think he learned from his mistakes? By the way he’s 29 she’s 23 and I’m 26.
Advice Chick replies,
No, I think he wants you around for communication, commissary, and potential conjugal visits. Bla, bla, bla. It’s easy to write beautiful fiction carefully disguised as heartfelt letters when you don’t have anything else to do for the next 24 months or so. He dissed you when he had the opportunity; here’s your chance to diss his ass back.
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Visit http://www.advicechick.com to ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! Kimberly Williams (THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com) calls on over 10 years of dating and relationship industry experience. She authors a nationally syndicated dating advice column, conducts dating seminars, and has provided advice for singles through radio and television appearances.
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