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THE BRIDGE: Girls & Boys, Part 2
There are a few things that have been presented in the struggle for women's equality that just haven't been forthright.
The reality that we've been handed for the past few decades is that men earn more money than women, and it's just not the absolute truth.
Reporting that women earn less than men has not only been the basis of much feminist propaganda, but it's also given fuel to the anger of women who genuinely believe that they have been put upon in the workplace. It's also given birth to a plethora of softened men who apologize to women every chance they get for offenses never committed.
Finally, that propaganda has given rise to haughty attitudes in many women who believe that they are now "overcoming oppression and sexism" in the workplace. These women talk about how men are "beneath their level," now that many women are making more money than in previous times.
However, according to research conducted by Dr. Warren Farrell, the only man ever elected three times to the board of the National Organization for Women, "men were likely to be paid the same or just slightly less than women when performing the same work. “
According to Dr. Farrell, women earn more money than men in the following careers: speech language pathologists (women make 29% more than men); statisticians (35% more than men); Advertising and Promotions Managers; Motion Picture projectionists and Dental hygienists. He also pointed out that female sales engineers make 143 percent of what males earn in the same arena.
Where women once earned far less than men across the board, the reasons had less to do with discrimination and more to do with the choices that women were making—specifically, running households and serving as primary child care providers.
Once women began to choose divergent professions, their income began to rise.
"There are instances of discrimination against both women and men," said Dr. Farrell. "If you knew you could hire a woman for less than an equivalent man, you'd hire women to get a price advantage over your competition. Do you think businesses so hate women that they hire more expensive men even though they'd lose so much money?"
As a shining example, take a look at the hiring of illegal immigrant Mexican workers in food service and manual labor--no one hates them so much that they would rather hire African Americans and have to pay them more. That situation has less to do with race and more to do with economics.
And, for the women who are not earning more than the men in their fields, Dr. Farrell asserts that they can make a change.
In his book, "Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap--and What Women Can Do About It," Farrell advises women how to earn more than men by paying attention to twenty-five things that men do more often than women. Essentially, the items on the list require a trade of quality of life for financial reward.
When it comes to finance, Dr. Farrell is a man to be listened to. The Financial Times named him one of the world's top 100 thought leaders.
Without listing all twenty-five items on the list (you can read the book yourself), let's take a look at the three most essential items:
First, select a career that pays higher wages. More women are now choosing higher paying careers, including law and medicine, but also dangerous careers such as prison guard work and more rigorous work, including construction.
Second, put in more work during the hours you work. You can spend time hanging around the water cooler, or you can put fifteen more minutes into calling clients. become more organized so that you can squeeze more work into each work day.
Third, work more hours. That means that if the job requires it, you should put in twenty to thirty hours of overtime each week.
According to Dr. Farrell, "Fortune 1000 CEOs typically paid their dues with sixty to ninety hour workweeks for about twenty years. Yet women are less than half as likely as men to work more than fifty hours a week. And women are less likely to agree, every few years, to uproot themselves and their families to far-flung places to get the necessary promotions."
The reason why women previously were unable or unwilling to work so many hours or move at the drop of a hat was because they were typically the domestic partners, caring for both home and offspring.
Is it unfair to demand that people pay more attention to careers than family in order to get ahead? Maybe, but it's legal, so either do it or don't.
Today, more women are doing it.
Many men who are captains of industries today placed the job ahead of building a family.
And those same men, even if married, were willing to move to whatever remote location the job required, uprooting family if necessary.
And, since women who have made these same choices understood that they were indeed, choices, how silly is it to complain that they are having difficulty finding men who will deal with their choices? Especially since most are not willing to do the one thing that allows many men to rise to the top of the ladder with family intact: financially support a spouse.
Yes, women need to hear it and I am not afraid to say it. You can not enter the working world and demand equality with men, yet expect--no, demand that you be unequal to men in your personal life. And if you are demanding that your partner in love accept the sacrifices you made for your own self-gain, yet still be in the midst of making those same sacrifices, then you are being unrealistic.
So, what's a girl to do?
There are a couple of suggestions, but these are only for women who are interested in having a family.
First, consider finding a man who will be able to place your career first. This is what successful men often do when choosing mates.
Second, consider having a marriage without children. If your career is simply too demanding, and you want a man "on your level," who do you think will stay at home with the children?
If a man wants time off to deal with a new child or child issues in general, the employer may be slightly accommodating, but after an excess, he will be less likely to continue his rise up the ladder. If a woman wants time off and there are problems, the women's rights groups come out of the woodwork, claiming discrimination.
The thing is that you can not have your cake and eat it too. That is, you can not be equal to men and rise to the top, yet demand more than men typically get at the top, including a partner who can back you up in the home by placing their career goals second to yours.
Damn the fairytales, reality is a bitch.
And the reality is that some of today's women are doing the things that Dr. Farrell recommends.
So, if we accept research that indicates that women will typically be paid equally, if not more than men for equal work, then we must accept that there is not as much sexism as feminist propaganda asserts.
Women’s rights organizations complained that women were being held back, but no one has been closing the doors to colleges over the past fifty years. And when we look at the fact that women are currently the majority of college attendees, we see that the result is greater earnings in the workplace.
I already know that some women want to keep the Feminatzi program intact, simultaneously complaining that men earn more, while also complaining that men are beneath their level. To them, I say: Stop talking to me. Seriously.
But to the women who want to have a career and also want a loving relationship with a man, I say: Focus on finding a partnership based on the virtues of humanity as opposed to finding your so-called "equal." Money is a poor selection criterion when choosing a mate.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: No man who loves the women in his life wants to see women oppressed. Equal pay for equal work is a no-brainer.
However, women should think carefully about the entire spectrum of equality, because there are a few things that no one wants. For example, for every man who is left behind by the death of a spouse, there are four women who are left as widows. That's nothing to compete with.
In closing, if more women are open to “House Husbands,” more men may consider focusing on quality of life issues as opposed to high-paid careers.
According to Dr. Farrell, “The most important career decision you will ever make is the choice of your spouse. If you’re a woman who wants to have it all-–a very successful career, a happy marriage and well-raised children, marry a man who is happy to raise the children while you raise the money. Children raised by dads in intact families do extremely well socially, psychologically and academically.”
The simple truth is that feminism tells lies.
Feminist propaganda lied to women about being able to have a high-level career and still raise a beautiful family with a loving supportive husband. Remember this: “I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan—‘cause I’m a woman?”
Such propaganda was designed to support the lie that women were so special that they could become highly successful, yet still be good attentive mothers and sexy wives, while living carefree lifestyles.
Well, today’s women should have been warned that it’s hard to “have it all.” Powerful career pursuits come with some serious decisions, and some grave consequences. Perhaps they should have asked the successful men they were patterning themselves after.
Today’s “liberated” women are marching off to college and into the workplace finding successful careers, but finding less happiness while blaming it on men.
Today’s working woman is more stressed than ever before and more overworked than in previous times. They are finding it very hard to simultaneously bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, let alone work 70 hours a week and still watch the children grow while nurturing a family.
Feminists should have explained to women that one of the trade-offs for working hard for success is very little time for family and increased difficulty maintaining relationships. Instead, feminists continue to pass lies around that damage both sides of the gender.
For example, men aren’t “intimidated” by successful women, they’re looking for someone to start a family with.
Someone has to take care of home.
Next week: Why Radical Feminism Is Failing.
Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, “Crack,” was released in March of this year. James’ latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
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